206 - Can You Chase Big Goals and Still Be Present for Your Family?

My wife Ally is back on the podcast, and this episode felt a little different.

We’re only a few weeks away from becoming parents for the first time. As excited as we are, we’ve been thinking a lot about what life will look like once our son is here.

• Can we still chase big goals and be present parents?
• Can I train for races, build businesses, work on this podcast, and still make sure my family never feels like they come second?
• Can Ally continue chasing the things that make her who she is while becoming a mom?

We obviously don’t have all the answers. We haven’t even met our son yet. There’s a good chance we listen to this episode a year from now and laugh at some of the things we thought.

But I don’t believe becoming a parent means giving up everything that made you who you were before having kids. We think our son should see us working toward things that matter to us. I want him at finish lines. I want him to see us working hard. I want him involved in the things we love.

And more than anything, I want him to grow up knowing that no goal was ever more important than being there for him.

Ally and I talk about what we’ve learned from our own parents, staying present in our marriage, adjusting goals during different seasons of life, protecting time for family, and the kind of example we hope to set for our son.

We’re about to enter a completely new chapter of our lives. We have no idea exactly what it’s going to look like. But we’re excited to figure it out together.

Keep Getting After It.

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Transcript

Eight Months Pregnant And Excited

SPEAKER_04 0:00

Everyone, welcome to the to the live studio audience of the Getting After It Podcast.

SPEAKER_01 0:06

There's so many people in here, it's crazy.

SPEAKER_04 0:09

That's a rough start, I gotta be honest with this thing. But Alessandro, welcome back.

SPEAKER_01 0:16

Thank you.

SPEAKER_04 0:17

It's always a pleasure to have you on.

SPEAKER_01 0:19

I'm happy to be here.

SPEAKER_04 0:20

And you look great.

SPEAKER_01 0:21

I feel very large.

SPEAKER_04 0:23

Eight months exactly? Eight months pregnant, exactly? Uh basically, right?

SPEAKER_01 0:30

Basically.

SPEAKER_04 0:30

That's insane.

SPEAKER_01 0:31

Yeah, came fast.

SPEAKER_04 0:32

How's it feel?

SPEAKER_01 0:34

Big.

SPEAKER_04 0:34

That's it. That's your only symptom.

SPEAKER_01 0:36

Yeah. Just this last like starting at 35 weeks. So I guess I'm like almost 36 weeks. Um, I guess we're going to 36 weeks. And 35 just started all my symptoms for the first time, so I can't be mad. I mean it this long before.

SPEAKER_04 0:56

It has been very mild. Yeah, mild's a good way to say it. I wouldn't say it's been easy, but I'd say mild's a good way to say it.

SPEAKER_01 1:04

Yeah, my symptoms haven't been bad at all.

SPEAKER_04 1:06

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:07

I'm grateful.

SPEAKER_04 1:08

It's pretty insane. And it's gone by so fast, which is nuts.

SPEAKER_01 1:11

Yeah, everyone's like, probably not for you. I'm like, no, it is for me as well. It has gone fast, so thanks.

SPEAKER_04 1:16

Everyone coming up. Oh man, I can't believe you were just you just told me that you were pregnant. It's like, I know. We feel the same way.

SPEAKER_01 1:22

Yeah, seriously.

SPEAKER_04 1:23

It's pretty crazy.

SPEAKER_01 1:24

I can't believe it. I'm so excited.

SPEAKER_04 1:26

I know, it's nuts. But um, oddly enough, that's kind of what I wanted to talk about today, is something that you and I have discussed for a while. And you know that we hate the people who say hate's a strong word, but I hate. We hate. We hate the people who are like, you just wait, you know.

SPEAKER_01 1:46

Yeah, just wait. People are the biggest Debbie Downers ever.

SPEAKER_04 1:49

I know. Especially like when you're having a kid, and it's like, oh, we're bringing a life into the world, we're so excited about it.

SPEAKER_01 1:55

Yeah, which we have openly expressed how excited and how hard we want. I tried for this.

SPEAKER_04 2:00

Yeah, three years of infertility, probably six years of infertility.

SPEAKER_01 2:03

Yeah, which weren't married, so we didn't know.

SPEAKER_04 2:05

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 2:06

So yeah, sorry, carry on.

SPEAKER_04 2:08

No, I mean that's it. It's just like they drive me crazy because you're bringing this little ball of joy into the world. Or when we are getting married, we got the same thing. Like you just wait till the honeymoon phase is over. Which by the way, it has to be. You slash. Yeah, so it gets better every day. Everybody who said that, you know. We're the same. Jinx. Um, but like with a kid, I just don't know why people are in that mindset to where it's like, okay, well, you just wait until you know you have to wake up in the middle of the night and you have to feed the baby, or you have to change their diaper at 2 a.m.

SPEAKER_01 2:42

or keep in mind we obviously are not in that situation yet, so it could be very we're expecting it to be hard and uncomfortable and sucky at times.

SPEAKER_04 2:50

Of course.

SPEAKER_01 2:51

But carry on.

SPEAKER_04 2:53

I think that's yeah, exactly. Like, of course, we know that it's going to be hard. Of course we know there's gonna be times where we are changing a diaper at 2 a.m. and we say, I'd much rather be sleeping.

SPEAKER_02 3:03

Right.

SPEAKER_04 3:03

But at the end of the day, you're literally taking care of a child. And that's what you and I want, probably more than anything, is to be parents. And that's just like, I don't know. I mean, with every dream that you have, whether that be you want to start a business or you want to go after an ultra marathon, or you want to become a podcaster, whatever it is, there's going to be challenges. There's gonna be times where you don't want to do it, and there's gonna be times where you're exhausted and you feel like you're burnt out. Um, and I think parenthood is gonna be a whole different ballgame, but a lot of the similar patterns, I would imagine.

SPEAKER_02 3:43

Right.

SPEAKER_04 3:44

Um, especially through talking to people who say, Oh, it's the best. Like I've heard a lot recently where people say, you know, the good outweighs the bad.

SPEAKER_03 3:53

Right.

SPEAKER_04 3:54

And I think that's probably very true. Um but the reason I want to talk about this today is the whole idea for this episode, there's gonna be a central question that we

The “Just Wait” Mindset

SPEAKER_04 4:05

have in the back of our heads, okay? And it is this how do we continue chasing meaningful goals without making our family feel like it comes second? Can you chase big goals and still be present for your family? That's it. That's our topic for today. And um I thought it'd be fun to have this conversation with you because we've been talking about how we can support each other in our goals afterwards. Um, we're already gonna build out this gym a little bit more, slash studio, slash laundry room. Um, but we're gonna build it out more so it's more accessible for you to work out at home and stuff, and when I don't have time to go to the gym or something, or whatever. Excuse me. Um, I'll be able to do the same thing, like come downstairs and get a workout in. But I think it's really interesting to think about our life that we're gonna leave behind.

SPEAKER_01 4:57

Don't say it like that.

SPEAKER_04 4:59

Well, I mean we're not leaving a life behind, we're only adding to I know, but I'm there's some things that we're going to have to leave behind. Like what? For example, like training's gonna look different, travel's gonna look different.

SPEAKER_01 5:13

Different, not leaving it behind. That's what makes change so scary for everybody, is because everyone has this mindset that everything changes all at once, and then your life's completely different. Yes, our life's gonna look different. Yes, we have a little human, yes, traveling's gonna get harder, training's gonna get harder, like time is gonna look different, like especially my day-to-day schedule. Like now I have a human being, you know. And of course, that's all gonna happen. But how important is it to like keep to our roots and who we are too? I don't like thinking of everything changing because that's like that's what brings so much fear usually, because it kinda sounds like a whole new life when in reality we're we're bringing so much more into it and so much more love and happiness, and and yes, we'll have to sacrifice some things, but I don't know. We've talked about this when we got married too. You thought that everything was gonna change in like a day.

SPEAKER_04 6:11

That's true, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 6:12

And it only got better.

SPEAKER_04 6:14

I know, and that's why honestly, I think it's fun having our brains on this podcast together because mine is very, you know.

SPEAKER_01 6:22

You're a warrior.

SPEAKER_04 6:23

I'm a warrior. Everything can happen, anything can happen, right? And you're very much just like, let's just see what happens. And I love that because it bounces us out very much so.

SPEAKER_01 6:32

Yeah, I mean, I I think we should do this episode again in a year and see like how naive we were because I'm sure going into parenting, we're like, it's gonna be this way. We think that it's gonna be easy adapting to not easy, but we think we're gonna be able to adapt pretty smoothly or whatever. I'm curious to see that question that you said at the beginning, how that's gonna change when we reflect in a year. But and I didn't mean to like get on my high horse talking about change, but it always freaks me out because you always say things like that. I'm like, you make it sound so depressing. We love traveling and we love doing these things, like we can still do them and prioritize them. Yeah, but I know you talked the same way about getting married, and then we got married, it's like we still go to work, we still do all the same stuff.

SPEAKER_04 7:20

Yeah, that's true.

SPEAKER_01 7:21

Now we just live together.

SPEAKER_04 7:22

Maybe the way I'm thinking about it is just like the life that we're gonna leave behind is just our schedules are gonna look different. Yeah, maybe that's what I'm thinking of.

SPEAKER_01 7:30

Which is true, but and obviously life looks a lot different if your schedule changes.

SPEAKER_04 7:34

Oh, yeah. Winston's gonna disrupt our entire routine. Yeah, like that's one thing I know is certain.

SPEAKER_01 7:39

Right.

SPEAKER_04 7:39

Um, that doesn't mean we won't travel because we will.

SPEAKER_01 7:42

Yeah, you make me all sad. Saying things like that.

SPEAKER_04 7:45

You can't be sad, don't be sad.

SPEAKER_01 7:46

Um figure it out.

SPEAKER_04 7:48

We are gonna figure it out, and I know there's gonna be a learning curve like there is with all things.

SPEAKER_01 7:52

Right.

SPEAKER_04 7:53

Um, but the whole purpose of me starting off with that was the the life you're you're gonna leave behind is basically to pave way for a new better one, right?

SPEAKER_03 8:05

Right.

SPEAKER_04 8:05

And um going back to what everyone says, like, oh, it's the best thing in the world. Being a dad is one of my favorite things. Like, that is what I mean by you know, we're leaving our old life where it's just us two to a point to where, no, don't be sad about that.

SPEAKER_01 8:23

I'll cry right now.

SPEAKER_04 8:24

No, don't cry because it's gonna be much more beautiful, right? And you know that.

SPEAKER_01 8:28

I know, and it's still bittersweet right now. It is bittersweet, and we don't have baby in our arms, so it's hard to imagine like how much we'll love our child. Obviously, we know it's gonna be like an insane amount, and it's only gonna be happier and it's only gonna be more love. But because we don't have that yet, it's like, but we have such a good life, just the two of us.

SPEAKER_04 8:47

I know that's true. That is true.

SPEAKER_01 8:49

It's just so bittersweet. I don't think I wasn't expecting to be so sad

Big Goals Without Neglecting Family

SPEAKER_01 8:56

transitioning, like leaving this phase, this chapter of our lives.

SPEAKER_04 9:00

I mean, it's pretty quick, honestly.

SPEAKER_01 9:02

Yeah, we weren't married very long before.

SPEAKER_04 9:04

Three years is pretty fast.

SPEAKER_01 9:06

We thought that we would be fighting infertility a whole lot longer. Wow, I have not been an emotional pregnant lady. I don't know why I'm crying. That's so weird. I promise my hormones have been like weirdly regulated.

SPEAKER_04 9:18

Yeah, I can vouch for that, but it is kind of fun. There are there are little moments where you do get all I get tender. Yeah, you get tender. So lame like uh no. Why? You don't even know what I was gonna say. What?

SPEAKER_01 9:29

Okay, go ahead.

SPEAKER_04 9:30

I was gonna say Spider-Man.

SPEAKER_01 9:32

Oh.

SPEAKER_04 9:32

What'd you think I was gonna say?

SPEAKER_01 9:33

Everyone cried in Spider-Man.

SPEAKER_04 9:35

I didn't cry in Spider-Man.

SPEAKER_01 9:36

You should have. So lame. Um I keep interrupting. I'm so sorry.

SPEAKER_04 9:47

No, you that's that's what a podcast is. It's a conversation, it's not an interruption time.

SPEAKER_01 9:52

It is interruption time.

SPEAKER_04 9:54

It is interruption time, yeah. Whatever. But um, yeah, and that's I don't know. I just think about the joy that's gonna become from a parent and the growth, honestly, too.

SPEAKER_02 10:03

Yeah, true.

SPEAKER_04 10:03

That's another big one. Is we talk about growth a lot. We want growth, we strive for growth. What better way to grow than to have a little little baby Winston right next to us making us grow?

SPEAKER_01 10:14

I know, and you and I were talking about this. Our anniversary was last week. Two weeks ago. Last week? Last week. Um and we're just talking about how just since being pregnant, I feel like we have really tried to step up our game in a lot of different characters or a lot of different categories, um, in preparation for baby. Like we're trying to figure out our workout schedule. We are feel like we have been trying to incorporate habits spiritually to be ready to have baby. And and I feel like even without him in our arms, yeah, we have been already getting that I don't know if urge is the right word, but that desire to improve ourselves in preparation to raise a little child.

SPEAKER_04 11:01

Yeah, for sure.

SPEAKER_01 11:02

It's crazy what that happens to you when you have a little baby on the way.

SPEAKER_04 11:05

Alright, you want me to get super sappy and lame? Uh I love a cheese ball. I'm gonna get real cheesy real quick. So I wrote in my journal the other day about a few things like that marriage has taught me, and this is something that's that might make you guys really cringe, but I'm gonna read.

SPEAKER_02 11:27

Oh, be careful.

SPEAKER_04 11:27

I was just writing about how one of my favorite things about marriage is that desire to become the best version of yourself or your person.

SPEAKER_03 11:35

Right.

SPEAKER_04 11:35

This is what I said. Um let's see. I often ask myself whether I'm the husband Allie imagined having when she was younger. Am I the man that she deserves? I believe I am, but staying that man requires something from me. I have to keep working on myself. That is one of the beautiful parts of marriage. The commitment goes deeper than promising to stay beside someone for time in all eternity. I think loving your spouse means taking seriously the responsibility to become someone worthy of that commitment. Allie deserves the best version of me I can give her. Because I love her, I'm willing to sacrifice the habits, weaknesses, and selfish parts of myself that get in the way of becoming that man. And I think the same thing applies to parenthood. Like it's a commitment to show up every single day the best for your kids. There's gonna be days when we're tired, when we're like, oh my gosh, like if I can only get five more minutes of sleep. But at the end of the day, it's also like I want to be the example that our kid looks to and learns from and says, Oh, that's really cool that dad does that.

SPEAKER_00 12:36

Like, I I want to try that too.

SPEAKER_04 12:38

Um, you know, maybe he'll see me journaling, he'll think it's super cool when he's young and start writing. I don't know. Or he'll see me podcasting. Maybe we'll get an episode of Winston when he's like six.

SPEAKER_01 12:49

He's just six sitting on the table.

SPEAKER_04 12:52

Yeah, I just got him in my arms.

SPEAKER_01 12:54

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 12:54

But that's honestly what I think showing up and and taking that responsibility as a husband and a father is for me at least, is like I'm always gonna work on myself. And I know it's the same for you because you do it every single day, too. Like you're a hard worker, you try and become the best version of you.

SPEAKER_01 13:12

It's very kind of you to say. It's hard to feel that way when I'm tired a lot right now.

SPEAKER_04 13:18

You're creating a human.

SPEAKER_01 13:20

I know, it's hard to remember that. It can be pretty discouraging feeling like a little lazy lump of potatoes.

SPEAKER_04 13:25

But let's talk about that. What do you mean? What do you mean by that?

SPEAKER_01 13:29

Okay, Chris. Um, thanks for having me. Um I mean, life just looks different right now, and it looks different than anything I've any form of life I've had before, you know, and yeah, I haven't been this tired ever and not have a job, like, or actively working or doing something, and it just feels very and I can't work out the same way. Yeah, so everything just kind of feels like my goals I'm like letting my goals fall, and that I'm just like not the person I could be right now, and I know that's just our mind playing tricks. Like I understand that it's just a phase of life and it's just a for a season, but it is definitely difficult not to feel discouraged after working so hard to get up in my miles for races, and I finally got the job that I really wanted, and I was doing all these things, I was kind of feeling like peak, like I'm like thriving in my goals, I'm like accomplishing things just for everything to get kind of put on the back burner. And and don't get me wrong, like I wanted on the back burner, like I want to be a mom, and that is the focus. But before I have the child when I'm just like sitting around making a baby, that I don't have any consciousness that I'm doing, like it's not like I'm actively participating in the baby making process, like it's just doing my body's just doing it on its own. It's hard to look at my day-to-day and not feel like I'm letting myself down or I'm not doing enough. And even when it's like hard to do chores because I'm like so tired or like something hurts or whatever. I'm like, dang, I can't even be a housewife and I'm just sitting around doing nothing for five hours. So it's it can be discouraging. I and I have to keep telling myself, and you're like very sweet about it, you're very patient and very supportive, but it is it does take a toll on kind of your view of yourself as you just get bigger and bigger and you and can't do anything the same as you did prior to getting pregnant.

SPEAKER_04 15:47

Yeah. Let's take a step back though.

SPEAKER_01 15:50

Okay.

SPEAKER_04 15:51

Because logically you understand that that's not the case, right? Yeah. And you could argue that what you're doing now is the most important part of your life.

SPEAKER_01 16:03

Right.

SPEAKER_04 16:04

Creating life, at least.

SPEAKER_01 16:06

It's a miracle. And the woman body's insane.

SPEAKER_04 16:09

It's amazing. You're superhuman. Jason and I were talking about that when he was on, but I can totally see how you get to that point. Because you and I joke all the time that if I was in your shoes, I would be a really angry pregnant lady. I'd be so grumpy and sad and just angry. I think. I'd be a bad pregnant lady.

SPEAKER_01 16:31

You think I I think you might have been.

SPEAKER_04 16:34

Yeah. No, I know I would be.

SPEAKER_01 16:37

But but maybe I don't know, maybe you'd come around to the idea that this is like the new phase, you know. I think a lot of women do a great job of kind of recognizing that this is their phase they're in, and they soak it up and

Bittersweet Change And Identity Shifts

SPEAKER_01 16:50

love it. A lot of people are super sick, and so they don't want to even try and do better, anyways. I think that's the hard thing is I'm haven't been sick. So it's like, which I'm grateful for, but it's not like I'm throwing up, and so it makes sense to lay down. It's like, dang, overall, I'm doing pretty good. Like my pelvis hurts so bad I can't run. And then I start spiraling that I'm like losing it. I have like I'm not doing anything, I'm not doing anything for our family. If I was sick, maybe I would be able to recognize like I need to be in bed, but it's just a weird thing feeling okay most of the time and yet still not being able to do much. Yeah, it's a hard, it's a hard mentality to or hard concept to grasp. I'm sure you would adjust. I think everyone has to.

SPEAKER_04 17:40

Probably, but still, like I think I'd probably be in my mind all the time, like freaking myself out. You handle it very well, like very gracefully.

SPEAKER_01 17:48

That's very kind.

SPEAKER_04 17:49

I'm serious, like it's unbelievable. I told you, I've met very angry pregnant ladies. I would be what I would be one of them.

SPEAKER_01 17:56

We don't know for sure.

SPEAKER_04 17:57

We don't know for sure, but all I'm saying is it's amazing to watch. And the love that you already have for our son, just by sacrificing, like you said, your job's on on the back burner right now. Your your fitness goals are, your body is, your body hurts, your feet hurt, your pelvis hurts, your back hurts, like everything hurts. You're uncomfortable, and yet you still go through and you have a great attitude. It's very that's why moms do it and dads don't. I don't I couldn't do that, anyways.

SPEAKER_01 18:32

That's sweet.

SPEAKER_04 18:33

You're getting after it every single day. Don't convince yourself otherwise.

SPEAKER_01 18:37

It is difficult. I have so much more respect for moms than I ever thought. I I always thought moms were so cool because I'm like, dang, that's so sick that you're like creating a baby and that like you have to push it out.

SPEAKER_03 18:48

Every one of them.

SPEAKER_01 18:49

It's just I've always had so much respect. And then now, after being pregnant, I'm like, wow, I love moms so much more than I ever thought.

SPEAKER_04 18:56

Yeah, it's fair.

SPEAKER_01 18:57

Yeah, it's just so impressive.

SPEAKER_04 18:58

Anyways, it's a different kind of appreciation.

SPEAKER_01 19:00

Yeah, I keep interrupting, but um, I don't even know why I got on that tangent, but it it's just been a weird adjustment, is all I'm getting at. And I know that every every phase of life is gonna have a transition and it's gonna be it's gonna be scary at times, it's gonna feel weird at times, so we may be happy or sad about it, but overall, like you can always keep the gratitude, and especially for a baby, I'm like more than yeah, more than grateful than more than anything else.

SPEAKER_04 19:27

For sure. We put his little sheets on his bed today, and I was like, oh my gosh.

SPEAKER_01 19:30

So little.

SPEAKER_04 19:31

I'm gonna die. Um one thing that's very important, I think,

What Being Present Actually Means

SPEAKER_04 19:35

both of us, is the fact that we want to be very present. That's important. Um being present is an interesting topic because you can be physically sitting with your family, like let's say on the couch, or like you're having dinner with them, but you're thinking about work, or I'm thinking about the podcast or my fitness training for the next day. You're not physically or you're physically there, but mentally you're not. And being present, in my opinion, is being both mentally and physically where you're at.

SPEAKER_03 20:01

Right.

SPEAKER_04 20:02

Um when we have our son, I've been thinking about like, okay, well, how do I make you feel present? So that's the question I'm gonna ask you is what do I genuinely do to make you feel like I'm present with you?

SPEAKER_01 20:14

What do you do to feel present with me?

SPEAKER_04 20:17

What do I make what do I do to make you feel like you're present with me? Or I'm present with you.

SPEAKER_01 20:22

Oh um, well, you never have your phone when we're together, like especially not at the kitchen table. Like that's right, baby. You're very serious about not having your phone with you at dinner time. And we sit down and have like we literally bring out the placemats every night for dinner. Like, like we like set the table for every dinner, and obviously it's easier because it's just two of us when we're adults. Like, I know like when we have more kids, it's gonna be more difficult to like actually set up the water.

SPEAKER_04 20:47

Oh my gosh, we have to set out four placemats instead of two.

SPEAKER_01 20:50

Oh my gosh, life's gonna be so hard. But what I'm saying is like we're both adults, we can handle this. But we I think we make a a conscious effort to like have a time and a place for each thing. Like, dinner is for dinner time, yeah. And we're together. I think even just I think checking in with each other. A lot of times you just walk in, even when like during the work day, because you work from home now, you'll just come in and make sure I'm like good, I have everything I need. And I think it just it means a lot because I know you're working and I have to like pretend that you're not home that you have a real job, that you're that you're doing things, you know. I don't want to be like interrupting your day because you have things to do. But even when you're occupied and you're working, you still are trying to make sure that I'm like aware that you are always gonna be there.

SPEAKER_04 21:40

And I hope so. That's a goal.

SPEAKER_01 21:42

That means a lot.

SPEAKER_04 21:44

Yeah. I did it all the way.

SPEAKER_01 21:46

You always burp.

SPEAKER_04 21:48

Sorry, I have a Coke Zero for a reason. Um, no, I appreciate that. And I I try. Like, you know, you I hate this. You wanna know what's been one of the biggest helps? And I guess I can come on here and say that I'm proud that I've Come back to my goal. But waking up early again.

SPEAKER_01 22:03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 22:04

That's the biggest thing.

SPEAKER_01 22:05

That's true.

SPEAKER_04 22:05

Cause then, like, I'm not worried about working out after work. Once work's done, it's just us time.

SPEAKER_01 22:11

True.

SPEAKER_04 22:12

And I want that to be like, okay, well, I'm done with work, now it's family time. That kind of thing.

SPEAKER_01 22:15

So you shouldn't be ashamed to say that that you're back to your goal when your testosterone has finally kicked in. We knew it was gonna take six to eight weeks, and it's been seven weeks.

SPEAKER_04 22:24

That's so good now.

SPEAKER_01 22:25

Yeah, so it really makes sense that like now is the time where you're starting to feel strong enough to get up at that time.

SPEAKER_04 22:32

Yeah. But it makes a huge difference.

SPEAKER_01 22:34

It does.

SPEAKER_04 22:35

And I think as we become parents, we'll find more things like that, like adding, you know, an extra two hours to our day. So we can be present for our kids.

SPEAKER_01 22:43

That's a good thing. And taking things away. Because a lot of times, like we'll have time at night where like we can just sit and scroll if we want to, or watch a show if we want to, you know. And so like some habits you can just take away, and then that creates time as well. So I think a lot of times we're thinking we'd add, add, add, and that just adds more stress sometimes. Yeah. Sometimes the most simple thing is taking something away, finding what can be removed.

SPEAKER_04 23:05

And is there something that comes to mind for you? Like what you could take away to potentially increase?

SPEAKER_01 23:11

Well, right now I don't have much going on. So like I'm on my phone way too much. I'm hanging out like on the couch way too much. So you're allowed so you're pregnant. That's what I'm saying. It's like right now it's just a weird time frame for me and a weird phase of life. But I definitely know that I'm like, I have all the time in the world right now. So I don't really need to take anything out. Besides, I definitely have been on my phone too much. But then I'm like, what do I fill it with? Because I have nothing going on. But obviously, when a kid comes, I'll have a whole lot more responsibility and then life will pick up and then we'll have to reevaluate. That's the thing with life. I think it's just regular re-evaluation adjustment. And I think that you and I do decent at that because we talk about what we have going on that week. We talk about what we every morning we talk about what our day looks like, what we need to get done, and like how we can help each other. And every day is slightly different. And so I think just being able to be flexible in that way, recognizing when it like when we talk about balance of life and work and family and whatever it is, I think every day looks different, but that's why it's balance, is because yes, family is priority for us. However, say you lost your job or something happened, or like you have a conference coming up and you're out of town for four days. That's work has to take priority in some situations. For sure. And I know you're doing that for the family, but every day is gonna look different, every week's gonna look different, and so just a constant checking in, re-evaluating, and adjusting, I think, is what has strengthened our marriage so far, and I think is what's gonna really be beneficial or a beneficial skill to have when baby comes.

SPEAKER_04 24:54

I completely agree, and that's why I'm a big proponent of journaling because like that's how I reevaluate myself.

SPEAKER_03 24:59

Right.

SPEAKER_04 25:00

It's like I think about the things that I've gone through or goals that I feel like I'm slipping on or doing really well at, and I under try and understand why that's the case. Um for me, that's been a big help for me, like striving to my goals, reaching goals, setting new ones, and then documenting the progress or the process as I get to that point. Um, and then going back and saying, like, hey, this actually wasn't worth it, or like I was away from Allie for a long time because I was working on a project that didn't turn out to be worth it. Whatever it is.

SPEAKER_01 25:30

Like And also I think that a lot of times we take a bite off more than we can chew. Like when we set our annual goals, it's like hard not to give ourselves like eight goals for the year, like big goals, you know? And so being able to be humble enough to recognize if like one goal is not gonna make it, yeah, like yes, we can always adjust and like continue to fit in time for each goal, but sometimes we took on too much, and it's okay to readjust your goals as well, like as you were saying, but um it just it goes back to that flexibility. I think that's gonna save us later when we think that you're running a 50 miler and I'm doing high rocks and all this stuff, and then we have a newborn, and so like I'm sure things are gonna need to adjust as time goes on, and that's totally fine. Um, I don't think that means that we failed our goal always, but um just like you're saying, just self-awareness of being able to see what what makes sense in different phases of life.

SPEAKER_04 26:31

I think that's a good point. I mean, that's the whole topic of today is like how do we still achieve big goals while being present. Um I don't think there's anything like if you would have asked me when I was 21 or when I was in college listening to Jocko Willink or right out of college, like amped up, whatever it was, before like we got married, I was very much under the impression that you had to always be consistently achieving things in order to receive value or like to be perceived as a valuable person. And like when I was in college, I would set crazy goals for myself. Um, there was one semester I had 22 credits, I was working full-time, um, trying to start a business with my brothers and like working out, like I had little personal time for myself. Um, I probably wasn't happy during that time. I don't think I would say like I was a super happy guy. I got a lot done, which is great. I've had many phases in my life where I've added a bunch to the plate and tried to tack it all all at once. And um a lot of the times like I'm able to do it, but my quality of life dwindles. And so it's interesting now, like as I get older, I'm realizing like, okay, well, the goal should be like financially, yes, I want to make sure that we're always taken care of. That's a goal, but taken care of means our needs are met.

SPEAKER_01 28:01

Um it can look in different in different seasons, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 28:05

And it's going to like that's something I I've I know very much so that like people they earn their most in their careers around 40 and 50. And so, like, and by no means are we struggling, it's just like you know, it's gonna look different at every point. Fitness wise, I have a baby. That's way more important than going out and doing a 50 mile a race. And um it's just interesting because like now I don't think like, okay, well, my value is determined on my output. My value is simply determined on if I'm showing up in each of the areas I think are important to the best of my ability. Right. And for me, that's family, faith, um, work, fitness, and like myself, like personal personal work myself. So education, yeah, mental health, all that kind of stuff falls into that bucket.

Redefining Success Beyond Output

SPEAKER_04 29:00

And those are like the five things that like come to the top of my mind that it's like, okay, that's what's important to me. And if I'm doing well in each of those areas, success is relative. Like that is success to me, as long as I'm maintaining those things. And so, yeah, there will be times where, like this week, I have a conference I'm going to for two days, and I'm absolutely terrified that you're gonna have to be.

SPEAKER_01 29:22

I'm literally nowhere near having the baby. Brett sends me a chat GPT conversation he had today, and he's like asking chat if like like what the likelihood is I'm gonna go into later.

SPEAKER_04 29:36

I wanted to know the stats.

SPEAKER_01 29:37

All the stuff, and I'm like, comes out to be about week percent. Yeah, I'm at week 35, and you're gone for like less than 42 hours.

SPEAKER_04 29:45

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 29:46

So it's like, well, you know, you're hilarious. I'm glad that you want to be there so bad. That makes me feel good.

SPEAKER_04 29:52

It should make you feel good. Uh that's my worry brain, and that's your logical brain. We work great together.

SPEAKER_01 29:57

That's so funny.

SPEAKER_04 29:58

But I think goals are gonna change, going back to this. Yeah, um, and I don't think there's there's any shame in bringing down your goals because you're making room for something new. Um, I always tell people when they want to start running to start slow. Uh to start slow, just do what you can, and then start building your way up there. I think the same thing is gonna happen as we become parents. We're gonna be going, we're gonna be kind of taking a step back with all their goals. Like my running is probably gonna drop in mileage per week. Um, hierarchics training for you is probably gonna dwindle in time. Um, all those things. Time for journaling, podcasting, all those things, it's going to shrink, in my opinion. So all those things are gonna get small, and then baby's gonna take up a big chunk of our time, right? And I think what we're gonna learn is that baby can still take up this much of our time, but then we can figure out how to fill each of these lines, right? Until you know, we're at a point to where we're at today in terms of our goals. Like we're I'm trying to run 20, 600 miles a year. Like, I know I can get to that point. Winston just might be five. You know? Like it, I don't know. I don't know. And I'm just spitballing here, but I think with goals, like as long as you're trying to push yourself, you're trying to get after it, that's what is important. That's what life requires of you at times.

SPEAKER_01 31:23

I I like to think that actually when baby is baby, this is the most time we're gonna have. I feel like a toddler would be take up a whole lot more time. A baby's like sleeping so much, yeah, that like maybe you could get your runs in. But exactly what you're saying, like things are gonna shift, and that's okay. I was thinking about my dad because um he was an entrepreneur, had a lot of things going on. Entrepreneurship, such a hard career. Yeah, like you have great years and you have horrible years, and so you get really good at saving for when those horrible years come, and then when you are starting something, it's gonna take all your time, talents, and efforts. Like it I understand that starting a company is a grind and that it is your baby, like it has to take that much time in order for it to get off the ground all the time, and yet my dad was the most present dad ever. Like I think about that and how he worked really weird hours just so he's available for us when we're home. And as I grew up, I like look at his schedule. I'm like, dang, like he he worked hard and he worked a lot of hours, like he had very long weeks, but I would have never known as a child because when I'm awake, he's there making breakfast. When we get home from school, he's there to hang out and have do homework, and then when it's dinner time, he's there to have dinner. Like he never would miss the significant moments that we are around because he wanted to be in our lives and we needed that, and so it's interesting. I because I see entrepreneurs out there who they're like, I have to be at the office from 7 a.m. to 8 p.m. or else it's not gonna get off the ground. When yes, it takes a lot of time and effort, but it also is just evaluating what matters most. Work's always gonna be there, but family is eternal, work is temporal. Yeah, and so it's just a I think it's dependent on what the person wants most, what they prioritize most. And if they do care about family, work, fitness, all of the above, it's gonna have to have um, it's gonna have to constantly shift. Maybe have certain days that like are your work days, you know, so that you're present on the other days, yeah, or whatever it is. It can look different every day. And my dad works from home, so it made it so much easier for us to have a relationship with him. And he was able to pop in whenever he wanted to.

SPEAKER_03 33:55

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 33:55

I understand if you're working in an office, it may not be as simple, but I just I look back and I'm just like in awe that he was around so much with how how many hours he did put in. And he sacrificed the sleep a ton so that he could be up to help us whenever we needed, and that he had that he could work as often as he needed to. So he he his personal life probably sacrificed the most when we were growing up young. But I mean, it's not like he's around I could ask. But um, but I don't know, it's just something that like now that I'm an adult and I look back at my childhood, I want our kids to feel that way. Like my dad was a big into cycling for a while, he did triathlons, like he was interested in that kind of thing. He wasn't some like huge fitness guru. It's not like running took up a lot of his day, you know, it's not like that was a he would run circles around him, literally. Yeah, and it's not like he like prioritized that, so he had like less on his plate in that sense, but regardless, like even as a kid, I knew that dad was always around, like he was always there to hang out with us when we needed him. Like if we were sick in the middle of night, he was the one that was coming in. My mom was great too, but my dad is like was the nurturer, and he loved that, and so I know it's possible, and so now going into motherhood, I like to think of his and my mom's example of they still prioritized their their selves, like themselves, they did fitness things, they still hung out with friends, they still had date night, but never and they still worked, never did we feel like we were on the back burner because they had bigger things to do, but also we could see that they were still working on themselves and

Adjusting Goals With Flexibility

SPEAKER_01 35:45

trying to accomplish things, and I know that's a hard balance, and I know that's gonna be difficult, and I know I'm just like spitting out words right now. It's probably a word salad, is that a thing?

SPEAKER_04 35:53

Yeah, word salad's a thing, and probably doing that.

SPEAKER_01 35:55

I don't think you're spitting it out, I think it's just good stuff, but all that to say that I think kids do well seeing parents have other goals outside of them, and I think kids do well when your child is your number one priority, yeah. And I think I got a little bit of both, which is I'm grateful for, and I hope that as we become parents, we still have our goals because they are important, like it's good for kids to see their dad go to the gym and have healthy lifestyle and habits, and that we have goals outside of the family to help better ourselves, you know. But having the kid involved in our goals as much as possible, I think, is what's gonna help them obtain their healthy life goals and hopefully be an example because that's what that's how I grew up, and I feel like that's helped us become stronger individuals as adults for sure.

SPEAKER_04 36:52

And I don't think it's gonna be hard, but it's gonna be hard, but I mean life is hard, yeah. So whatever. And I mean pick your pick your hard. That's the thing like I was thinking about a little bit earlier when you were talking, is just how fundamentally what makes us us is the things that we do, our habits make us us. And if I were to stop going to the gym, stop podcasting, even when it gets hard, like there, you know, podcasting. Sometimes there's days where you're like, man, I don't know what to say. Like, I don't want to create another episode, uh, whatever it is. Like, stop doing those things, and I think you become a whole different person. And that's what's important to me is like these the things that I do in my life, the habits that I have mean a lot to me. I've taken 28 years to figure out what's worked in my life, what makes me a happy person, what makes me show up for my wife and now family more. Like, and it's all these things that make me me, as weird as that sounds.

SPEAKER_01 37:55

It doesn't sound weird because I want Brett to be the dad Brett is, you know. And when you start taking those things away, you start losing your identity, and and then that's sad.

SPEAKER_04 38:07

You know who I think some of the best examples are of this?

SPEAKER_01 38:10

Who?

SPEAKER_04 38:10

I'm gonna shout out Spencer, Walker, and Brindley.

SPEAKER_01 38:13

Yeah, they're great.

SPEAKER_04 38:13

They're unbelievable. They have three kids, um, one boy who I think is almost three.

SPEAKER_01 38:19

Probably.

SPEAKER_04 38:20

Or two and a half, something like that. And then they just had two twin baby girls. Spencer is a friend that I grew up with since I was 10 years old, super young. Um, great friend. And he like is an unbelievable guy. Like, I I wish I could be like Spencer in a lot of ways, just because he's incredibly driven in all the things that he does. He's smart, he's studying to become um, he's going into the medical field.

SPEAKER_01 38:48

Um, still in school having twins. That's scary.

SPEAKER_04 38:51

Still in school having twins. And he just won the FitCon in May, like, which is a big CrossFit competition in Salt Lake City. His wife, you know, three weeks postpartum was doing like exercises. She's also a CrossFit girl. She's also CrossFit, that's how they met, of course. Um, and it's just like they prioritize their family, their faith, but then themselves. Like Spencer is spending a lot of time studying for school. And I I mean, I just the reason I bring that up is there's examples out there. You were also talking about your your parents. I think my parents did a good job of it. Like when my mom was training for races, she just came on here and talked about that. There's examples of people out there who do it.

SPEAKER_03 39:34

Right.

SPEAKER_04 39:34

And if they can do it, that means there's a way. And if there's a way, that means you can do it too.

SPEAKER_03 39:39

Right.

SPEAKER_04 39:39

And so that's the mindset that I go into becoming a dad with. I take the you just wait people and I say, screw you. I know this is possible. There's people out there who do it.

SPEAKER_03 39:50

Right.

SPEAKER_04 39:51

You know, we might have a baby who screams all night. Fine. There's still people out there who can do it.

SPEAKER_01 39:55

You adapt.

SPEAKER_04 39:56

Yeah, you adapt, you learn, you you try. Like, and that's I think the whole important piece of not just parenthood but life is that like you said, you reevaluate and you adapt and you go forward, you move forward.

SPEAKER_01 40:09

Yeah, we were just talking about this with your brothers and their kids, and how it's I never really been around kids. Your nieces and nephews are the first kids I've ever been around, which makes me extra scared to be a mom.

SPEAKER_04 40:20

No.

SPEAKER_01 40:21

But but it's been interesting seeing our nieces and nephews, and how their your brother's interest is so reflected in those kids. And we were joking about that. So cool. When Drew and Emily were like running their races, Drew was like do training for Ultra Marathon. Now he's like going more into like strength training, I think.

SPEAKER_04 40:45

Yeah, he's getting back in lifting and stuff.

SPEAKER_01 40:47

Um, so he's not running as much, but when he was running, their oldest son, who's now five, was like anytime he wanted to play, it's like, hey, you want to race? Hey, you want to race?

SPEAKER_04 40:55

You want to go run?

SPEAKER_01 40:56

He wanted to run all the time while Drew and Emily were doing their races. And he may still be doing that a little bit, but not since I've seen him, like now that Drew's not running and Emily's pregnant too, like uh Reese is not asking to race as much, you know, and he has like other interests, he plays sports and stuff. And same with Blake's kids, like Blake loves baseball, and so his oldest son is like the baseball guy and fishing. They started fishing and now they fish together. And I think it's because they're including their kids in their hobbies. Yeah, like your brothers are not losing their personality or their interests from having kids, they include their kids in their interests and in their hobbies, in their goals, and because of that, the kids are loving it too. And I think that strengthens their relationship with their child, is because not only are they able to continue to work on their goals, but the kid is so excited as well to like see their dad go to like their kids come to our races because they love to see their dad cross the finish line or their mom cross the finish line. That's so cool, and it's such a great example to your kids of like what hard work looks like and what it looks like to prioritize yourself, but also be uh an available parent to like help them along the path of life and growing into like what is a good adult. Yeah, I think your brothers are great at that.

SPEAKER_04 42:17

I think so too. Like it and it's fun seeing that reflected in their kids. It is so cute. Norm is 100% my brother Blake. He is yeah, this and then the outfits too, like the glasses, they're wearing their chains, like backwards hats and all that stuff.

SPEAKER_01 42:34

Such a duel, such a baseball player.

SPEAKER_04 42:35

Yeah, my brother gets a buzz cut. Norm's like, I want a buzz cut.

SPEAKER_01 42:38

Yeah, same with Reese. It's so fun. They get buzz cuts at the same time. And it's like so fun to see like kids follow their parents' example so much more than you would ever guess. Yeah, and if you take away like what makes you you, your kids not gonna have guidance on like what they could become. Yeah, it's great to be a stay-at-home mom, stay-at-home dad, whatever it is, to raise your if you want if you're being a mom is your whole identity. There's incredible mothers out there who are like the nurturers and the most incredible home housewives who are so on top of everything.

SPEAKER_04 43:12

That's my mom.

SPEAKER_01 43:13

Yeah, and she's great. And she has taught us so much about like what it means to care about your family and to like be a leader in that way. And so if that's like your thing, then go all in in that thing. Right. You know, it doesn't mean that you have to have like these other fitness goals or whatever these other goals are, but whatever it is that makes you you and you want to be, like, those are great examples, I think, for kids. And like I said, we don't have kids, so maybe we should reevaluate in a year and see and see how we feel about what we're talking about now. But it's fun to see the examples in our lives and how they're able to do both have big goals and also prioritize and be present for their family.

SPEAKER_04 43:55

Yeah, and I think that's the the key there is like as long as whatever. You want to do whatever you want to go all on, go all in in is like as long as it's okay and about it, you're still there for your family when they need them. Like if you're out golfing for three hours on Saturday and you're just by yourself and and the boys, that's probably not the best way to spend your time every single one.

SPEAKER_03 44:17

Um single Saturday.

SPEAKER_04 44:19

But maybe like you bring your kids, maybe you you try and include them in your hobbies, whatever it is. But like I think the important piece is if you want to be, you know, in your kids' lives, obviously we're not parents, but I think it requires you to actually do that, to show up and be there and still maintain the things that you want to do and take care of yourself. Because you can't show up, in my opinion, because I can't show up in a marriage if I'm not taking care of myself.

SPEAKER_03 44:47

Right.

SPEAKER_04 44:48

So like I can't be the dad that I need to be if I'm not taking care of myself. So, anyways.

SPEAKER_01 44:54

Um I get so many TikToks now because obviously I'm getting close to having a baby, so everything is pregnancy and babies. And I always see videos that are like babies don't want to be distracted, they want to be involved.

SPEAKER_03 45:06

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 45:07

And like just I think that's so true, probably. Not that I have any experience. Why are you chuckling so hard? No.

SPEAKER_04 45:16

I just thought of this video. I saw the same thing. Um, where it's like babies don't want to what would you say?

SPEAKER_01 45:23

Be distracted, they want to be involved.

SPEAKER_04 45:24

They want to be involved, and some mom is holding her her kid. She I don't know, she looked like she's like one year old. She's like mixing these green beans, and then she gives the kid the spatula, and the kid's mixing the green beans into like going hard at it. Like just going hard. And like one of them flies out, and then I looked at the comments, and one of the guys, someone said, That kid's cooking the shit out of those green beans.

SPEAKER_03 45:49

So stupid.

SPEAKER_04 45:51

So stupid. I mean, he was yeah, she was involved, but it was just so funny. Like, I'm excited for that kind of stuff.

SPEAKER_01 45:58

I think it'd be neat.

SPEAKER_04 45:59

Yeah.

Kids Learn From What We Do

SPEAKER_01 46:00

Um it's gonna be hard, but it's gonna be good.

SPEAKER_04 46:02

That said, the final question for my wife, Alessandra.

SPEAKER_03 46:07

Okay.

SPEAKER_04 46:07

Russell. Alessandra Juliet, Russell.

SPEAKER_03 46:09

Okay.

SPEAKER_04 46:11

What's one thing you want Winston to learn from us?

SPEAKER_01 46:19

Well, us is interesting because it's different than our example.

SPEAKER_04 46:23

Yeah, our example.

SPEAKER_01 46:27

I think this is gonna be a weird answer.

SPEAKER_04 46:34

I'm excited.

SPEAKER_01 46:36

I think our our relationship is a broad way to say it. But how we communicate and have emotional regulation. I know that sounds so weird. I don't even know if that's like the correct grammar, but one thing I love about what we strive to do is to be very um just good listeners, be very present for each other, not blow up on each other. Like we've never raised our voice at each other, we like never argue, and I bet people are like, yeah, right, you don't argue. But we like it's kind of true. If we have something and we disagree, if we're annoyed or something, we talk about it. Then it yeah, like we both have the personality where we don't like contention in the house. We don't want to sleep mad. We like we we both have a desire to like have peace. And I hope that one thing that our kids take from us is how we love each other, like how that shows respect for each other and how how you treat people that you care about. Because I think that there's just families out there where it's normal to like yell, scream, like be mad, even if they love each other so much. I think it's normal in some relationships to to argue a lot or like be passive aggressive or something. But I really love how we handle any type of conflict. Not that I like I said, we don't really have much conflict, but maybe because we both have a desire to have open and upfront communication, we're comfortable talking about our feelings, and I know that's something that we have been working on our whole marriage. Um, especially like you are a boy, you came from not expressing your feelings prior to marriage.

SPEAKER_04 48:31

Yeah, I'm still not great at it, but but you're doing so much better.

SPEAKER_01 48:35

Yeah, but being able to communicate how you feel, and and I just I know that sounds so weird, but I I just love that about our relationship. I love that we don't have like a short fuse, you know, and yeah, and I think that as our kid grows up and finds his spouse one day, I would love for his wife to be like like he is so peaceful, like he like he like loves to just he's able to express himself, you know, like and that sounds like so feminine in a lot of ways, but not in like a weird gay like not in a weird gay way. I feel so mean. But I mean, yeah, like not like crying all the time, you know, like a mo like not like hyper sensitive, but just to have a son who respects his wife the way that you respect me, and like the way that you always do the dishes after dinner, and just like the those things that make you manly, but also very sweet and keeps the passion or the um passion, baby. Oh yeah, passion, the peace in our home. And so that seems like a weird one, but I really hope when he grows up that he looks at our marriage as an example. And we've talked about our parents and how there's so many things that we want to take from our parents and put in our relationship, and I hope that that's one thing that really sticks out to him is how to control his emotions and be able to communicate and those type of skills. Yes, I'm like, that'd be so cool if he starts running a ton and wants to be a pilot and all this stuff.

SPEAKER_04 50:08

For sure.

SPEAKER_01 50:09

But just being a good person, if we can create a little human that wants to be a good citizen in society and that people want to work with and people want to be friends with, and that he like uplifts others. I'm like, that is the most success I can ever think of.

SPEAKER_04 50:26

For sure.

SPEAKER_01 50:27

And I hope he loves Jesus, but that I think that goes with being a good person too. You know, in my opinion. I agree, but I like to think.

SPEAKER_04 50:36

And at the end of the day, like he'll make his own choices, but right. I mean just having the example.

SPEAKER_01 50:42

Yeah, I hope he chooses to just be able to be the type of friend that we are to each other. Find your best friend and marry him.

SPEAKER_04 50:51

That's great advice. You should find your best friend and marry him. It's the best thing that's ever happened.

SPEAKER_01 50:56

It's been the best, and that was a long-winded answer. But I I mean, obviously, I want the most for our kids. That's why it's probably such a long-winded answer. But I think our marriage, and I think a lot of our friends have great marriages too. But and I'm sure everyone feels this way, but I feel like we had the best one.

SPEAKER_04 51:13

It's pretty good. I mean, yeah. I'm sure everyone feels like they have the best marriage. It's damn good.

SPEAKER_01 51:18

Super biased, but I don't care. And I I want that for us and it's just a like life is so much easier when everything's good in the home.

SPEAKER_04 51:26

Yeah, I agree. So it's pretty nice.

SPEAKER_01 51:29

My favorite.

SPEAKER_04 51:30

Makes it much better.

SPEAKER_01 51:31

Truly.

SPEAKER_04 51:32

I can't wait for this adventure.

SPEAKER_01 51:34

I'm so curious. I think it's gonna be great, but I'm just curious how it's gonna go. I know those just weight people are saying because they're so tired and all this stuff. But who needs sleep? Sleep when you're dead. We got this.

SPEAKER_04 51:47

Sleep when you're dead. I know there's a lot of good stuff coming out now, and like how sleep helps with longevity, but you know, we're all gonna die anyway. Yeah, why lengthen it out?

SPEAKER_01 51:57

Yeah, why yeah, why be scared of it?

SPEAKER_04 52:00

What am I, Brian Johnson?

SPEAKER_01 52:01

Is that the guy that wants to live forever?

SPEAKER_04 52:03

Yeah, the vampire dude. Creepy vampire guy.

SPEAKER_01 52:05

That's too bad.

SPEAKER_04 52:06

Which by the way, he came out with something that he said he wants to compete with Jesus.

SPEAKER_01 52:09

So that's too bad.

SPEAKER_04 52:11

Yeah, that's too bad.

SPEAKER_01 52:11

What does that mean?

SPEAKER_04 52:12

He's just like he wants to live a long life. I don't know.

SPEAKER_01 52:15

How's that capooed Jesus? He just died at like 31.

SPEAKER_04 52:18

That's a good point. I just want to say he is like I I probably get the quote wrong, but I didn't watch it long enough to care.

SPEAKER_01 52:25

So now we're rambling.

SPEAKER_04 52:27

Yeah, that guy's a creep. Um, anyways, thank you so much for coming on.

SPEAKER_01 52:31

Happy to be here.

SPEAKER_04 52:32

You are my best friend, and I can't wait to raise a little child with you.

SPEAKER_01 52:36

It's gonna be so fun having another little bestie.

SPEAKER_04 52:38

I know. A little 50-50 you and me.

SPEAKER_01 52:41

That's crazy.

SPEAKER_04 52:42

It's pretty cool. All right, so in the comments, um,

Marriage Example And Baby Predictions

SPEAKER_04 52:45

what do you have to do is predict what our child's gonna look like.

SPEAKER_01 52:48

I knew you were gonna say that because my grandma is four foot or was like four foot ten at her highest, Mexican, Native American, black fro, this big, spoke Spanish. You would never guess. I'm a whitey.

SPEAKER_04 53:02

Yeah. My grandma, uh on my dad's side, she's 96 right now, but she's fair skin, red hair, strawberry blonde hair, blue eyes, um, blue eyes, and my other grandma is blonde hair, blue eyes, and what about your grandma?

SPEAKER_01 53:19

My other grandma had brown hair, blue eyes. Yeah, so really across the board.

SPEAKER_04 53:23

And then you and Blake look completely different, right?

SPEAKER_01 53:25

So my grandpa was German.

SPEAKER_04 53:28

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 53:28

So we got blonde hair, blue eyes a lot, but my grandma really carries a lot of weight. Yeah. My brother looks 100% Mexican. Mexican and Native American.

SPEAKER_04 53:38

Yep.

SPEAKER_01 53:38

And I don't. And we come from the same people I swear.

SPEAKER_04 53:41

So in the comments, let us know what you think our baby's hair is gonna be. What color?

SPEAKER_01 53:45

Evidently, he has got a lot of hair according to the ultrasound.

SPEAKER_04 53:48

I'm thinking it's gotta be black then. He's gotta have black hair.

SPEAKER_01 53:52

Black seems like aggressive, maybe like brown, dark brown, dark. I have no idea. But I have we do have a friend who had a blonde baby with a lot of hair.

SPEAKER_04 54:02

That's true.

SPEAKER_01 54:03

Because you and I were both blonde babies, and we were bald, bald, bald.

SPEAKER_04 54:06

Yeah. But then we had a friend who had blonde hair and she had a black hair baby.

SPEAKER_01 54:10

Yeah, that's true. You just don't know. Jeans are weird?

SPEAKER_04 54:13

Jeans are weird.

SPEAKER_01 54:14

I love genetics. So fascinating.

SPEAKER_04 54:16

Fascinating.

SPEAKER_01 54:17

So are we gonna have a little bit more?

SPEAKER_04 54:18

The only thing that we do know is what? He's gonna be handsome.

SPEAKER_01 54:22

He's gonna be so handsome.

SPEAKER_04 54:23

Yeah. Hey, handsome boy.

SPEAKER_01 54:24

Evidently, he's got long femurs right now, so he's taking after pops.

SPEAKER_04 54:28

Yeah. My femus are short. You have short femurs.

SPEAKER_01 54:31

No one cares about the rest of this.

SPEAKER_04 54:32

All right. Well, thank you guys for listening. Yeah. Um, we'll update you more on our parenthood journey. But until next episode, everybody.

SPEAKER_01 54:41

Keep getting after it.

SPEAKER_04 54:42

That's right.