198 - Andy Glaze: Smile, or You're Doing It Wrong

In this episode, I talk about the story of ultrarunner, firefighter, father, and author Andy Glaze.

Andy's book, Smile, or You're Doing It Wrong, is about far more than running. It's a story of addiction, trauma, recovery, fatherhood, and rebuilding a life after hitting rock bottom.

What stood out to me wasn't the miles he has run. It was the mindset he developed along the way.

I talk about why movement can help people heal, the difference between motivation and discipline, why suffering doesn't automatically make us stronger, and how small actions can slowly rebuild confidence and identity.

This episode is for anyone who feels stuck, anyone carrying pain from their past, and anyone trying to become a better version of themselves one step at a time.

You don't have to run 100 miles to apply these lessons.

You just have to keep moving forward.

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You're not lazy. You're not lost. You just know there's a gap between the life you're living and the one you're capable of — and that gap is getting harder to ignore.

Every week, I pull apart the mental patterns that keep capable people stuck — comfort disguised as patience, avoidance disguised as strategy, mediocrity dressed up as balance. I bring in philosophy, personal stories from the trails and the trenches, and conversations with people who decided to stop waiting.

This isn't a show about hacks. It's about the harder work: getting honest with yourself, building the discipline to act on that honesty, and becoming someone you'd actually respect.

Keep getting after it.

Transcript

Why People Chase Endurance

SPEAKER_00 0:00

I've noticed something after being an ultra runner, and that is that I think a lot of people who see ultra marathon runners think that those people are obsessed with running. While that is true sometimes, I don't think that it's always true. I think that there is a lot of people who are drawn to endurance. They have something underneath it. That could be some kind of pain, or they overcame addiction or trauma, anxiety, or shame. And they have a need to prove something, a need to escape something. And sometimes it's both, really. Andy Glaze is interesting to me for that reason. He's a famous ultramarathon runner. If you're at all on social media and you have any interest in ultramarathon running, I'm sure you've seen the guy. He uh is a firefighter, but he also wrote a book. And what pulls me into his story is that he's lived through a lot of darkness and he's kept on moving. His book is called Smile or You're Doing It Wrong. And what's interesting about that title is he doesn't at all make the claim that smiling doesn't magically fix anything. His point is that how we respond to pain that matters. And Andy's story, it covers it's it's a it's a very, very amazing and uh inspiring story. But he talks about how he's he's faced addiction and trauma and institutional abuse, fatherhood, firefighting, and running distances that most people would never even consider. They would they would think that you're crazy if you told them you were gonna run 350 miles in a week, which he did. And super, super inspiring. I I love it. But the deeper story isn't about running, and it's about what a person does when life really breaks them, and the redemption that comes from that. Because Andy, he's the product of of him doing the work and and knowing what it's like to hit rock bottom, but redeeming himself through his actions. And it's about his story, Smiley, you're doing it wrong, is really about what a person does after life does break them. Do they stay broken? Do they numb out? Do they become bitter? Or do they find one small thing that they can control and start there? Forward motion heals. Yes, you can run a hundred-mile race and still have problems on the other side, waiting for you at the finish line. But movement gives you momentum. And when your mind is stuck, momentum matters. And I felt that many times in my life. I've been in season where seasons where I've felt stuck either mentally or behind professionally, uh struggling with anxiety and thoughts that I wish I didn't have. Running doesn't solve any of that. Hate to break it to you. Like I'm I'm big into running, I think it does a lot for you. But running won't solve those issues that are going on in your life. But what it does give me is it gives me a place to put that pain. It gave me structure. Something simple when everything else feels complicated. That's what running does for me. It's a great thing. And then if you listen to Andy's story, he talks a lot about that as well. And endurance sports, I've learned, really strips down life to one task. And that is take the next step. It's not gonna fix your whole life tonight. You're not gonna become a new person by Monday, but it's just the next step, and then the one after that. Easier said than done, just being honest here. It is a very difficult sport. It's a very difficult thing, and just not even an ultra marathon running, just endurance in general. It's a very difficult thing because you understand that you're gonna have to be suffering and you're gonna be in pain for a long time, and that's okay. That really is okay. And the reason being is that every every hard day you finish becomes a piece of evidence. Every time that you wanted to quit but you didn't, you start to rebuild trust with yourself, and I am in the middle of that now, and the confidence is coming back.

Housekeeping And Personal Updates

SPEAKER_00 4:21

Welcome back to the Getting After It podcast, my friends. Really happy you're here today, and I am excited for this. If you didn't know, really quick, some housekeeping items. Um, I am in Arizona, as you can tell from this comfy little beanbag here, and uh about to go to New York. My wife's gonna do her high rocks this week, so really excited about that. Share some love. Um, if you want to comment, Allie, you're going to kill it. Uh, she'll really appreciate it. So leave a comment on the on the show. I'll show it to her. Um, but yeah, so I'm really proud of her and her my brother-in-law, he's also doing it the next day after Allie's, so really exciting stuff. But yeah, so I'm in Arizona this week, and I have been thinking a lot about Andy Glaze's story. Um, just from my little intro there. He is an ultramarathon runner, and gotta be completely honest here. And Andy, if you're listening to this, I'm sorry, but hey, if everyone else on this podcast knows that I try to be as honest as I can be, as I should be. Let me rephrase that. But when I first saw Andy Glaze on social media, I was like, who is this guy? And let me paint you

First Impressions Of Andy Glaze

SPEAKER_00 5:30

a picture. Andy Glaze is an ultra marathon runner, but every time that I would see him on some kind of social media post, he would have these jorts on because usually he was racing, and that's kind of like his race day gig is he wears these uh shorts that look like jean shorts, but they're I can't remember what brand they are. Um and I was like, this guy is a little over the top, and like his positivity was it felt kind of fake at first before I actually understood his whole story and who he actually was. Um kind of come to find out he's very genuine about it. But I started following Andy probably a year and a half ago, and really kind of fell in love with the guy because he's so he's so honest about running. He will post videos of him, you know, in the Moab 240 race with 10 miles left where he's crying and he's talking about how grateful he is about the experience, or he'll post another video where he's you know doing the monster 300 and he's at mile 168 and he's just struggling, he's in the pain cave, and he's open about it. He tells you what is going on in his head and how he's he's dealing with those thoughts. And I've really come to appreciate the guy and really like him. And a few months ago, before he came out with this book, I actually reached out to him and I was like, I would love for you to be on the podcast. Um, I think your story is amazing. And my audience, the listeners, could really benefit from hearing you tell your story. And he said that he would be interested. Um, I could put a screenshot up right here. He said he'd be interested, but he was actually in the middle of like finishing up his book, so he was a busy guy. And this is me asking the listeners here if you have any connections, it's time to get Andy on the podcast. Because I I I did the next best thing that I could, and that was read his book because I want to tell you about sorry, there's like some fuzz in my nose. Oh, man. Anyways, I did the next best thing I could, which was I was going to learn more about his story and actually who he was, and I'm so glad that I did, because one, now I have even more questions for him when he comes on the podcast, but two, my appreciation for the man greatly increased.

Addiction And Early Rock Bottom

SPEAKER_00 7:40

Um, he has dealt with some very difficult things in his life, and to paint the picture a little bit, he opens up his book by talking about how when he was 16 years old, he was addicted to meth, and that alone I was shocked by. And he tells the story in the beginning on how his parents they actually sent him up to Utah of all places. So shout out to Utah, that's where I live. And um he was gonna go on a wilderness expedition, and when he was out on the wilderness, he was going through withdrawal, and he was struggling, his body was aching, and I I've never had to go through withdrawal, but the way that he explains it sounds kind of like hell, honestly. Sounds brutal. And um his entire story is a redemption story, so there's a lot that I've I've gained just from listening to him about actually pushing through and actually trying to get to the other side a better

Smile As Rebellion Against Pain

SPEAKER_00 8:44

person. And I think the reason why his title of the book, Smile or You're Doing It Wrong, is so fascinating to me is one, I don't think a lot of people understand why he's saying that. Because the man has dealt with so many setbacks, so many difficult things in his life, that if he can find a reason to smile and keep going, keep that forward momentum just moving along, I think we all can. And that's really the the main portion of the book that like his whole message is is no matter how bad the pain is, obviously, smiling is not going to make everything magically better. It's not going to do that, and that's not his point. His point is that you can actively rebel against that pain by saying, Hey, you do not, you do not own me. You smile through it, even when it's incredibly difficult, especially when it's incredibly difficult. He says that in the book. Those are the moments that really make or break you. Is if you can take the next step when it takes all you have, and your legs are shot, your body is crying for sleep, your stomach is in the gutter because you've been consuming gels and other calories for the past 24 hours in a in a hundred-mile race. If you can find it in you to smile and to say, hey, Payne, I know you're there. I can feel you. You're right, you're breathing on my neck. You've been here this whole time, but you don't make me. I'm gonna smile through this. It's a very, very important lesson for all of us to do, and and I'm still in the middle of learning how to do that.

Discipline Over Motivation

SPEAKER_00 10:22

Um, but from understanding and reading his book, I've learned that Andy leans on discipline over motivation. Like, motivation is great when it shows up. I love it, but it is unreliable, it is unstable. You can't you can't base your entire strategy on motivation. Discipline, on the other hand, that says, hey, I know I don't feel like doing it, but we're still going. We're gonna go get it done. And growth happens in that space between wanting to quit and choosing to continue. I've learned that. That's something I've I've definitely been through in many, many different areas of my life, whether that's work or relationships or or fitness itself, you know, showing up when you don't want to do it, that is a good indicator that you are becoming someone that you say you are. And suffering does not automatically produce wisdom, because I think sometimes it does, it makes people cruel, it can make them bitter, and even numb. Like they they just might shut off all their feelings and emotions and become numb. The question is isn't whether pain can change you, because it will. It really is your your responsibility to figure out what direction you're gonna let that pain change you in. And smile or you're doing it wrong. It really can sound like something on a dentist's wall, like a poster on a dentist's wall, you know, smile more, choose joy, whatever. You know, it it it just seems very cheesy, right? And I love Andy, but again, I don't think that's what he means. Because joy in this context, it is an act of rebellion. Like when life gives you every reason to go hard or get bitter, then choosing joy, it takes more guts than giving in. A lot of the times. Andy tells stories in his his book where a lot of times during ultra races or even when he's on the trails, he'll see people who are struggling, like they are in the pain cave, they look like they're beaten and they don't look like they can continue, they're just trying to get one step in front of the other. And this is where I was saying, you know, it's easier said than done because I've been in that space and it is easier said than done. But his thing is whenever he sees per a person like that with their head down, their shoulders down, and they're just inching along the trail and they look like they're miserable, he will look at them and smile and say, Hey, you're doing awesome, you're crushing it, keep going. And he always says that in those moments, those people seem to light up. Like he said, 99.9% of the time, they will look up, smile, and keep going. And then they're their shoulders straighten out a bit, their heads raise, and maybe their stride gets a little bit longer. And I think there's a difference between fake positivity and earn joy. Fake positivity, it ignores the pain. And earn joy, it looks at that pain and says, Hey, you do not get to own me, like I said earlier. That's a very important, very important lesson. And two very different types of smiling and joy. Like fake positivity, it's not going to get you very far. Because if you're just trying to mask the pain, if you're trying just to find a way that you can be a little bit happier in whatever sense that you're in, I don't think that lasts very long. But when you choose to be happy, when you choose to instead focus on the opportunity that you have to claim whatever's in front of you, I think that's important. That's really important to do. Last episode that I did was about James Lawrence, the Iron Cowboy. And a common phrase that he would always say is, I get to do this. And he genuinely meant it. Like, I get to go on this run, I get to do a triathlon, I get to wake up at 4 a.m. and exercise my body. All those things are difficult, yes, they are incredibly difficult. But the difference is you're reframed it. You you took a different perspective. And instead of being like, I have to wake up at 4 a.m. to go run, there's people out there who can't do that. There's people out there, like today I was running and I wanted to quit in mile eight, and I saw someone in front of me in a wheelchair, and I was immediately slapped in the face. I said, That person literally cannot run. Who am I to take the body that I have just because I wanted comfort and stop my run? I need to be moving because there's people out there who can't. And it's not some kind of like that's not fake positivity. I think that's gratitude. And gratitude is one of the biggest sources of joy that we can all have, and our lives are full of things that we can be grateful for. I think a lot of the times we just focus on the pain, and it's you're not supposed to ignore it. Like, obviously, it's there. The point is, is can you have a different mindset as you go through it? It is hard. Like, I am still training myself to do this. I've done ultras, I've done sub-three marathons, I've woken up and worked out at at 5 a.m. And all those things are difficult. But it is an opportunity for you to say, okay, well, this isn't as bad as I thought. You know, there is some good that's going to come out of this. Marcus Aurelius, he wrote that the impediment to action advances action. What stands in the way becomes the way. Whether that's your it could be like Andy, you know, addiction or trauma, some kind of loss or failure, shame. Those things can destroy a person. They can also become the raw material material for rebuilding yourself. Andy's life, it shows that. Like he did not start from a clean place. I want to make that very clear. And he made it very clear in the book. He talked about how he would smoke cigarettes, and he was actually in a in a class, um, I can't remember if it was college or something like that, but they had a test where they would run um a mile and a half and basically see how they were doing. And so he talked about when he that was like one of his first runs that he went on. And because he smoked cigarettes and he wasn't really in shape, he went out of the gate super hot, and then he was just struggling. And he said how that was one of the hardest runs he's had. And all that to say, he did not start from a clean place. He had a turbulent childhood, he was addicted to meth and other drugs, and he was, you know, kind of on his own from time to time. He had difficult wilderness programs and in therapeutic boarding schools that actually abused him. He had real trauma, and that matters because it it makes the story more human. And I think we we look at people like Andy Glaze, who are out there, you know, running 250 miles, and we say, that's an anomaly. That guy, you know, he was born with that. He he knows that he he you know he can go out and do that 250 mile run because of genetics. Whatever story you say in your head to to make it seem like he's just you can't do those things that he's doing, to make him seem like he's a a god, or I don't know. I don't know what I'm saying here. But basically, like that he is someone different, and you can't get to that point. 100% false. Because he started in very difficult places, and it's easy to admire someone doing a hundred-mile race, but there was a version of Andy that was before all of that, like he was hurting, he was lost, he did not know how his story would turn out. All scary places to be. And maybe you're in that version right now. You're not in the rebuilding phase right now, you are in the wreckage part. And looking at your life saying, Man, I don't think I like where I am. I don't think I've like I like who I've become. It's like the tattoo says on my bicep right there. And how my hat says, actually. Boom. Two things. The word is good. You say, just like how Jocko taught me, you look at that situation and you say, Okay, good. Because you cannot rebuild what you refuse to look at. Once you see it, you need movement. And you don't have to sign up for a hundred mile or two uh to or eat gels until your stomach feels like it's a it's a rock. You don't have to do that. Really, movement, it can be a walk. It can it can be a lift, a short run, a conversation, a prayer, a journal entry, or the simple decision to stop lying to yourself. Action breaks the pattern of helplessness. When you feel stuck, your brain tells you that nothing can change. I've been in moments like that where, you know, I the most recent one was my previous job before I was hired at Smart Scout, and I felt like I was stuck. I I didn't know what to do, you know. I was I had a financial safety net really, and this job was paying me, but I didn't feel like it was the right place for me. And I wanted to leave, but I didn't have a backup plan. And so I I just stayed in it. And every day that I stayed in it, it got harder and harder to keep on going. My thoughts turned dark. I lost a lot of my motivation. You can hear it if you go back and listen to those episodes probably like three months ago or two months ago, you can hear it in the way that I speak. It's almost like my confidence was eroded a bit, and that I wasn't it didn't feel like I was the person who I said I was, and I felt stuck. And I didn't understand that what I needed to do was take action because action argues back. Like maybe not everything changes today, but at least I can do this, and that's enough to begin. Running for me is a way of practicing who I want to be. That's mainly it. You know, I I I'm not obsessed with running, I enjoy it, I do like it, but there are definitely days that are hard for me to do. There are days where I want to sit in bed instead of go out and run because you know I'm I'm comfortable where I'm at right now. But when I don't want to go out and I do, I'm practicing keeping my word to him to myself. When I'm tired and I and I still show up, I am practicing discipline. When my mind starts to complain, I practice not obeying every single thought that I have. And that's what I mean by I'm trying to act like someone who I want to become. All these things, you know, discipline or um controlling your thoughts or keeping your word, those are all very important things. And running gives me that opportunity to do it. Because if I tell myself, hey, I'm gonna run today and I don't, boom, there's one less piece of confidence and evidence that I keep my word. Or if I'm tired and I and I decide to not show up, there's a little chink of uh discipline taken off of my armor. And the thing is, is you do not have to win every negative thought that your brain comes up with. I've said this before, but that is an exhausting way to live. Over time, you become someone that you can trust by keeping your word and doing what you say you want to do. Identity is not something that you announce. It is earned by acting like it's earned by acting like it enough times that your life starts to believe

Identity Earned By Repetition

SPEAKER_00 22:10

you. Andy's fatherhood gave him a whole new lens. And this is something I'm I'm really excited about because when I got to this part of the book, I was like, hey, I'm gonna be a dad soon. And Andy talks a lot about how like running for yourself is one thing. But rebuilding because people depend on you is a whole

Fatherhood And Raising The Bar

SPEAKER_00 22:30

different thing. And the question shifts. It's no longer about can I survive this? It's more of what kind of man am I going to be for the people who need me? At some point, life starts being only about your pain. Your pain is important. Let me get that straight. But, you know, if you have the opportunity and you have the responsibility to raise a human, I think you should try to be the best version of yourself for that person. Be the example that you want to be. There's a common phrase that says, you know, every generation tries to make the new one better. And my parents raised me so well. I'm gonna have to work my ass off in order to make Winston, my son, better than me. And I'm not saying that out of a like that I'm I'm super great, you know, I'm I'm I think I'm very normal. But I want him to see that, you know, when I'm tired, I still show up. When I don't want to go out and run, I keep my word and I do it. When I say I'm gonna be there for someone, I show up no matter what happens. Like those are the things that are important, and that's the example I want to set for my son. And Andy kind of went through this a similar thing because I think some people hear um, you know, that he's a dad and and he's still running these races, and and they're impressed. But I can't tell you how many times, and I hate these, uh, hate's a strong word, but I strongly dislike these kind of people who say, you know, I I've told them that I'm I'm having a baby, and they'll say, Oh man, you just wait. Like the it happened on a work call the other day where I was talking like about how I'm big into ultra running and I have a podcast, and some guy on the call said, You just wait. Babies disrupt your your entire schedule. And I know that's true, but I also know who I want to become for that kid. And that's gonna require me to actually put some a little bit more work in. Because if I want to be a present dad, but also do things that are difficult to be an example for my son, it's going to take more effort, it's gonna take more work. So don't be that kind of person. If they're if someone's having a kid or someone's getting married, don't be the the you just wait people. Those are the worst types of people, those are just negative people, don't surround yourself by them. Anyways, there's a little rant there, but you can pass damage on. Like you can turn it into something useful, or you can pass it on. Like to your kids, to anyone. If you're bitter or if you're a hard person, that's gonna reflect onto your kids. Hate to say it, but that's that's the truth. But the inverse is also true. If you're a great example, if you're disciplined, if you're consistent, if you're kind and loving, that will also reflect onto your child. And there's something else that's interesting about Andy's life because he actually became a firefighter. Like he went from needing to be saved to actually saving others, which I think is a really cool, it's cool symbolism. Um people hear Andy's story and they kind of turn it as a weapon against themselves, you know. He went through all that and became an ultra runner. Like, what's my excuse? They might use that. And I don't really love that framing because we are human and we all make mistakes. I have made plenty in my life. The difference is I do not allow that to define who I am. Shame is not a great long-term coach. And if you're operating off shame, I would I'd invite you to try and find something else that's a little bit more impactful or moving for you specifically. Because that shame, I don't think is is what's going to make you a great person. It's kind of like what Andy says about smiling through through the hard times. And a better question that you should ask yourself is what's one step I can take today that proves I'm still in the fight? That proves I'm still in the arena. You guys know I love that quote, the man in the arena. It's one of my favorites. And in fact, uh Ali is not in this room, so I'm just gonna say it. Um, I'm gonna get that framed in my office. There we go. So I can look at it every day and remember that no matter how bad the day goes, or if I'm doing just the bare minimum because I'm a lot's going on in my life and I'm struggling or whatever, I want a reminder that I'm in the arena. I have it on my neck all the time, but I don't know, it's just a great quote. And sometimes you just have to remind yourself that, hey, I'm still here. And going back to that example of like, hey, what's one small thing that you can do? Can you go for a walk? Can you walk a mile? Can you clean up your room? Call someone back. Or go to therapy if you need it. Like, can you train for 20 minutes? Small steps aren't small when they are breaking old patterns. That is huge, actually. If you defy yourself and you say, hey, that's not me anymore. We're moving past that. I'm gonna become a better version of me. That's huge. No matter how small that step might seem, to society or to yourself, you take that step. That's the key to ultra running. You take the next step and then the next one. And eventually, like Andy, you're doing a mile and a half run around a track to running 350 miles a week. Not because all of a sudden you changed completely overnight, but it's because you rebuilt yourself and you stayed in the game when you didn't want to, and you showed up and you kept setting goals and achieving them and raising the bar a little bit higher. Like, tell me that's small. That will compound over time. And if you're a regular regular listener of the show, you know that you know this. I've said it many times, but most transformation is very boring. It's quiet and it is repetitive. But it is a person who is choosing again and again not to go back to the thing that was weakening them or destroying their life.

The Pain Cave And Mental Health

SPEAKER_00 28:27

The pain cave is where things get dark. And if you're looking to make a change in your life, if you want to set the bar higher for yourself, prepare yourself for the pain cave. That could be mentally or physically or any other way. There's going to be pain along the journey. I love the idea of a seed being planted in the ground. And that seed will have to break through the earth eventually, and then it's going to have to be exposed to the elements. It's going to be exposed to you know predators or whatever it is. Until one day it is a towering oak tree that cannot be shaken. Because over the years, the wind has blown it and it's stayed up. And over the years it's gotten cold, it's been through winter, it's been through summer, and it keeps going. And it just gets stronger and stronger as time goes on because it's refused to do one thing, and that is not stop growing. So think of yourself, you know, you might be in the seed phase. You might be in the phase where you're a little sapling, or you might be in the phase where you're, you know, 10 feet tall, you still got a lot of room to grow, and you're making your way. It doesn't matter what phase that you're in, all these principles apply. Like, let's go back to the pancave for a second because I want to illustrate what this is like. So, from an ultra marathon, it is difficult to go through the pancave a lot of times because your legs hurt, your your stomach feels off a lot of times, and you know, your mind gets dramatic. It's like, oh, I can't take another step. How am I gonna do another 15 miles? That happens, and you just gotta prepare yourself for it. But it also happens mentally. Like, I've struggled with OCD in my life, and it's not the kind where I have to check every doorknob or you know, see if all the stove buttons are off, whatever it is. My OCD is mainly around ruminating on thoughts. I can get into a cycle and think about something and come up with all these worst-case scenarios and then just keep coming up with them and thinking that it's all gonna happen. And I've been in times where my mind is so dark that I am in a different type of pain cave. I am in the mental pain cave. And those are scary moments. But the only thing that got me through those times was knowing that I can get to the next day. Even if that entire day I was off, I was struggling, I was depressed, or I was sad, I knew that I would get to the other day. Some days I didn't want to. Completely honest, completely transparent. But I knew that wasn't the answer, and so I kept moving. I had to find out how I could move through this darkness and become someone who I was proud of on the other side, not become bitter, not become depressed long term. I knew that wouldn't be good for me. I had to figure out how to do it. And in those moments in a race where you know you're questioning every decision that's gotten you to that point, but you finish. Well, guess what? You did it. And congratulations. You made it through the pain cave. And I think a lot of the times the pain cave reveals who you are, whether that's mentally or physically, the same principles apply here. But it shows you what you reach for when life gets hard. Do you panic? Do you quit? Do you laugh or pray? Like, can you take one more step? There's a lot of truth in those moments. And there's this clip of David Goggins. I don't know if I'll get in trouble if I add it in here, but we'll see. Where he's being interviewed.

SPEAKER_01 32:09

Is I'm 50 years old. I'll be 51 in February. My life, if I were to take the first 10 years from 20 to 30, I learned a lot. Whatever it is. Um I've done with these races is I condensed 10 years into 80 some hours. The highs and lows you experience in a race like this, man, it gives you a lifetime of knowledge. And people get it all twisted, they don't understand it. And that's fine. But these people aren't trying to win the race. Some are. These people are here trying to find themselves. And the answers they get on the other side of this journey, they can only get by doing some shit like this. Suffering, my friend, suffering makes you f a very knowledgeable person.

SPEAKER_00 32:54

Because you go through moments where it's it's highs and it's lows, and you know, things look good, and then all of a sudden everything's dark. And all of a sudden you don't know if you can keep going, and you want to quit. And the question is, in those moments, and this is the defining moment of those times, what do you do? Do you quit? Do you ask God for help to push you a little bit more? Do you take that next step? There's a lot of truth in those moments. Now, smiling or you're doing it wrong. It works because smiling changes your relationship with pain and not the pain itself. You cannot control the weather, you cannot control the climb that you're about to do, the miles that are left in your race, or what happened to you years ago. You can control your response right now. Your attitude, your effort, your next step, or your willingness to keep on going. This applies to marriage, work, parenting, faith, mental health, building a business, or starting over. The list goes on. Like you do not control every outcome, but you control whether you keep on moving. Healing is slow, it is messy a lot of the times, and it asks more from you than you want to give. And then it asks again tomorrow. Now, let me clear something up because discipline is not punishment. I think a lot of people sometimes think that it is. It is the structure that holds you when emotions are all over the place. In those moments where I was in a dark space mentally or in a race that I didn't want to keep on going, discipline gave me the structure to defy myself in those moments when my emotions were all over the place. On the days where I felt very dark and depressed, I still got up and I exercised. Because that's one thing I knew I could control. Like motivation, it might get you started, and it's good when it does. But discipline keeps you from quitting when motivation leaves. Spoiler alert, it tends to leave. It shows up, sits on your couch for a while, hangs out with you, and talks to you about all these great things, and then it's out the door. It's gone. Like, I've spent a lot of my time in my life waiting for things. Like, most of that waiting was just fear in a nicer outfit. And it looked responsible. You know, underneath it, I was just avoiding the move. You know, you don't get better at running just by saying you're a runner. You don't get more disciplined by saying you're disciplined. Or you don't become more resilient by saying that you are. You become disciplined by acting like it enough times, and you become resilient by getting back up. Happiness treated only as something

Gratitude Practice Through Cancer Stories

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you're waiting to receive as a trap. This is one of Chris Williamson's unteachable lessons, where you know, you tell yourself things like, oh, well, once life calms down, I'll be happy. Or once I make more money, you know, once once I once I heal, or once I get the thing, whatever that is. Happiness can't be the only result. Sometimes it has to be a practice. And this is something I'm learning. And Andy Glaze, he talks about how his dad, from an early age, when they're all sitting around the dinner table, he would ask, What's one good thing that happened to you today? And sometimes he'd roll his eyes and he's like, That's so weird. Like, come on, dad. Like, I'm I'm in sixth grade. Uh, I got a good test score, whatever. But Andy taught, or he learned that his dad was teaching him to find positive things in every single day. And now that's something Andy practices in his household, and he kind of gets the same responses sometimes. But something interesting about Andy's dad, and he talks a lot about this, his dad passed away from cancer. Um I think it was he, you know, he was diagnosed, and for 31 years, he actually was able to continue. Like there were times where he was given months, and then he had, you know, he beat cancer, he was in remission and he was doing much better. And there were a lot of times where he was going through the the battle of cancer, Andy's dad, and things look dark. But Andy talks about how he found happiness and joy, and that's coming from someone who has a disease that is hell. Cancer is hell. It like I've I haven't experienced it myself, but I've seen what it does to people, and I've seen how others are affected by it. My wife is a great example. Her dad passed away from cancer, my father-in-law, and that was her one of her best friends, if not her best friend, and the person she looked up to the most. And having him taken away from a disease was heartbreaking for her. And Allie had the chance to become bitter, she had the chance to become, you know, completely internal and wouldn't, you know, selfish, you could say, but she didn't let that happen. She found joy in in moments like that, just like how Andy's dad was able to go through treatments and you know fight fight the fight of cancer. I think it's really important that even in moments like that, it's a great example that when things look like everything is lost, there's still something you can find happiness in. Again, I I haven't experienced that, but that's a principle I'm trying to apply to my life now. You know, if if things are bad, if if I'm not feeling great at work or whatever it is, I still try and find something that I'm happy about. And I'm I've been trying to actually incorporate that lesson of sitting down with Allie at the dinner table and saying, hey, what's one good thing that's happened today? Sometimes it, you know, it's little, but sometimes she opens up and tells me. Sometimes I open up and tell her things that are good. I think it's important. Because you can still be in pain and still be grateful. Like you can still be tired and laugh. You can be broken in some areas, but still building in others. And a lot of people become loyal to their pain. Not because they want to, but because it becomes familiar. And part of their their identity is in that. And leaving that identity is scary. Like if you've been broken, if you've been the broken one for a long time, becoming the rebuilt one feels weird, feels strange. Like you might even sabotage it because chaos feels more normal than peace. And rebuilding takes more than just intensity. It takes practice and patience, humility, support, and a willingness to become a beginner again. Starting small is not a weakness. A mile is enough to get you moving. A single honest conversation is enough to start the healing. You don't need to prove everything today. Andy's Andy's story is not clean. Re real redemption really never is. It's messy and painful and takes longer than anyone wants. But it is possible. You're still here, you're still breathing, and still capable of becoming someone that you're proud of. That is the whole idea of Andy's book. Is that no matter what, you can still keep moving because you can smile, you can defy that pain and say, you do not own me, you do not define who I am. I'm going to look at you and smile. Because that's who I am. And I choose to find joy, no matter what. There's a quote from a leader in my church, his name is uh Russell M. Nelson, where he says, The joy in your life is not based on the circumstances, it's based on what you're focused on. Something like that. But that's really true in a lot of ways. Because everyone has different circumstances. You can be a billionaire and still be unbelievably unhappy. Or you could be in poverty and be incredibly joyful. The decision is yours. And if you're going through something really hard right now and you're thinking, man, Brett, you have no idea what I'm going through, you're right. I don't. But you do. And you get to decide who you're going to become. Are you going to let it define you? I have a cousin. His name is Landon West. And Landon West is, I think he's around 12 years old. And about three years ago, he was diagnosed with cancer. And he's been battling it for a long time. And he actually lost his ability to walk because the cancer wrapped around his spinal cord and um kind of took that away from him. But he was doing well. And unfortunately, the cancer came back. But Landon, from hearing stories about him, he wants to fight. He wants to keep on going. And that is someone who is battling something I can't even comprehend. And he's young. But he still has the attitude of, I'm gonna try and be better because of this. And that is something I we can all take and apply to our lives. Your life might be dark, it might look like there's no hope for you. I'm sure Andy Glaze felt that way when he was 16 years old, addicted to meth, in the middle of a wilderness exploration retreat that was supposed to help him, where he's in withdrawal. But he made it through. And look at him now. That doesn't happen overnight. That does not happen because he simply wanted it to happen. It happens because he made conscious decisions to change things in his life to become better. And it took years. He talks about that very openly. But now he's where he wants to be. And I'm sure he still has higher goals for himself to get to certain points. But that's the whole point of his book. Is redemption is possible? And no matter what life throws at you, smile. It's a small little thing to do, but it has huge returns. No matter how silly it might seem, you know, if your life is in complete shambles and you're trying to smile, keep doing it. You will become better because of it. You will get through this experience. It might not seem like it now, but everything comes to an end. You just gotta keep going. You gotta maintain that momentum. And find whatever the next thing that you can focus on is and get it done. Action helps. So take action. There's a lot that we can learn from Andy's story. And you know, and I just kind of went the tip of the Asperg on it. Um, I went the tip of the iceberg on it. Like I didn't really go into so much detail. I just wanted to talk about the points that I think are the most important from his book. And that's really it. Because all of us, the reality is, life is not easy. Life itself, that is an endurance sport. That is the hard, hard, hard thing that all of us have to go through is life. And Andy talks about in his book how all his races, everything that he's done, have trained him for the endurance sport of life. And there's going to be ups, there's going to be downs. There's going to be times where it feels dark, there's going to be times where you're laughing and having a great time. The key is who are you going to be in those moments where it is dark, where you are in a down low valley? How are you going to become better through it? And usually it's by those small things. You don't have to change everything overnight, guys. Growth takes time. Like I said with the oak tree. Those aren't grown overnight. It's years. Decades. But eventually, you walk through a forest and you look up at the beautiful trees and you say, Man, these things are amazing. You slap it and it feels so solid. But it wasn't at one point. It was a little seed.

Final Takeaways And Requests

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I hope this episode helped. Um, especially if you're going through something really difficult right now. I encourage you to smile. As silly as it might seem, it's a small action that has huge returns. Like I said. And you can become someone who you are proud to be. It can make or break you. And I would like it if it if you decided that it would make you. But if this episode helped you at all, or if you know someone who's going through something really difficult, please share it with them. Um rate the show. That always helps it get in front of more people and and you know help the show grow a little bit. So I really appreciate you guys. Um kind of a heavy topic. I know there's a lot that you know I I probably didn't go into that I should have, but Andy Glaze's book is amazing. Like I said, it's called Smile or You're Doing It Wrong. And I would highly encourage you to pick it up, especially if you're in a low moment, because the stories he tells and the way that he navigates life is something I think we can all learn from. And uh until next episode, pick that book up, everybody, and keep getting after it. Also, Andy Glaze, please come on the podcast. I would love to have you on. That would be so much fun. And we could talk about a lot of stuff, especially Ultra Running, because I want to learn from you. Thank you. See you guys.