197 - The Mind Quits Before the Body: Lessons from the Iron Cowboy

Last week at Pattern Accelerate, I snuck into a talk from James Lawrence because I wanted to hear what drives someone to complete 101 Ironmans in 101 days.

I expected another motivational speech.

Instead, I walked away thinking hard about human potential, suffering, discipline, and the stories we tell ourselves when things get uncomfortable.

In this episode, I break down a few lessons that stayed with me:

• Why most limits are mental before they are physical
 • How the next challenge only reveals itself after you face the current one
 • The story of Dayton, a boy with cerebral palsy who changed James’ perspective forever
 • Why “I get to do this” is more powerful than “I have to do this”
 • The bully in your head that tells you to quit
 • How discipline is built through ordinary days, not huge moments

I also talk about my own experiences with running, training, podcasting, and learning how to keep going when motivation disappears.

This episode is for anyone who feels stuck, overwhelmed, or unsure if they’re capable of more.

You probably are.

Keep Getting After It.

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You're not lazy. You're not lost. You just know there's a gap between the life you're living and the one you're capable of — and that gap is getting harder to ignore.

Every week, I pull apart the mental patterns that keep capable people stuck — comfort disguised as patience, avoidance disguised as strategy, mediocrity dressed up as balance. I bring in philosophy, personal stories from the trails and the trenches, and conversations with people who decided to stop waiting.

This isn't a show about hacks. It's about the harder work: getting honest with yourself, building the discipline to act on that honesty, and becoming someone you'd actually respect.

Keep getting after it.

Transcript

A Conference Talk That Hit Hard

SPEAKER_00 0:00

I want to start off with a story from last Friday. I went to Patterns Accelerate Conference. If you guys don't know what Pattern is, they are an e-commerce accelerator. They help help brands basically on Amazon. That's the simplest way I'll put it. There's a lot more to it than that, but for the sake of time and for your guys' brain power, that's what I'll say they do. Every year they host like a conference where they bring out people to talk all things e-commerce, to know what's going on in the industry, talk about what kind of trends that they're seeing, what some of the things that are happening and some of the uh new technologies that they're using. It's it's pretty interesting. But this one was different because previously I've been at every single one of these conferences. I have worked at Pattern. Now I worked on a sponsor that Pattern uses for their data and that kind of thing. But it's the same conference, I just had a different seat. Kind of interesting, and I'm in a different season of life now. What I did at Pattern that's behind me. And while I was there, I heard that James Lawrence was going to speak. Most people know him as the Iron Cowboy. And I didn't know a ton about him before that, honestly. I knew he was some kind of endurance guy. Uh, I knew that he had done some pretty crazy insane things before, but I didn't know the full story of who he was and what he what he did. And because I love endurance sports, I said, you know what, I'm gonna go sneak away from this booth. I'm gonna go catch that session. I want to hear what he says. And I'm glad that I did because what I heard wasn't just some motivational speech. Like that is something I think a lot of people probably attribute to people like James Lawrence, you know, who get up on stage and talk about the things that they've done. But it's more than that. You know, it wasn't some guy just saying, Oh, you need to believe in yourself, with everyone claps in the audience and they're all happy that this guy's here. But it hit harder than that. He talked about pain, he talked about doubt, he talked about suffering, and he talked about what happens, what happens when your mind starts attacking you. And he talked about the idea that I can't stop thinking about, and the reason why I'm doing this podcast today. It is the human body is capable of so much more than we think. Welcome back to another episode of the Getin' After podcast, my friends. Happy to have you here as always. It's gonna be a fun one. This is uh something I actually I've had this experience very recently, but I wanted to do a full episode on it because um I don't know if you guys know who the Iron Cowboy is. I really didn't know who he was. I've heard his stories. My friend John ran with him during his 100 triathlons in 100 days, which we'll talk about. Um, but yeah, so it was super interesting stuff. And it kind of stumbled into my path a little bit. Um, it's weird how that happens in life when you need to hear something that you didn't know you needed to hear. And I feel like that was what this was. And so what I talked about earlier is that the human body is capable of much more than we think. James made it very clear that the mind is usually what gets scared first. You know, the mind starts to negotiate, the mind starts telling stories, and the mind starts telling you that you can't do this thing. I'm sure many of you have had that feeling. I've had it so many times in my life, have it all the time. This podcast with my runs, with uh being a husband and soon to be a father. I have those thoughts all the time. I think it's just being human. Like it's unfortunate that a lot of us have to deal with those kinds of things, but at the end of the day, that's really us just having our own experiences and going through life. And if we believe that voice every time that it shows up, we never find out what we're actually capable of. And this that specifically is what I want to talk about today.

Your Mind Gets Scared First

SPEAKER_00 3:50

Because I don't think everybody who is listening, myself included, needs to go out and do 101 Ironmans in 101 days, which that's actually what it came out to be. He um did 100 Iron Mans in 100 days and then he pushed it one more day to do 101 because he wanted to tell himself that he could go one more, kind of like what Nick Bear says. But I mean, most people shouldn't do that. Like, that's insane. That's that's wild. That's so hard on your body. But what I want to make clear is that every single person listening to this podcast has their own version of hard, their own version of what looks way too big for them right now. That could be a race, a business, a career change, a relationship, uh, a weight loss goal, a creative project, or the life that you say you want, but you keep on delaying it because part of you is scared of what it will require. And the question is simple: what if you are capable of more than your mind is telling you? What if the voice saying stop is not wisdom? What if it's just fear? This is a very timely topic that I was able to listen to because if you go back to the past few episodes I've talked about, the last one was about Winston Churchill's dare and endure speech, uh, where you have to push yourself, you have to endure what's gonna be required of you to get to whatever the goal that you have set for yourself is. I talked about fear and how fear is a little bitch a couple episodes ago, and how we can't let it dictate our lives. And now James Lawrence comes on stage and basically talks about the things that I was discussing, but made it very real for me. So I hope after me sharing what he talked about and going into the principles behind them gives you a little bit more understanding into what you can do to really push yourself and to not be scared when life has challenges handed to you.

You Only Get The Next Step

SPEAKER_00 5:41

So one of the things that James said was this idea that you cannot see the next challenge until you're ready for it. And that really did stick with me because you have to get through what is right in front of you now. That's your first objective. The next thing will reveal itself. And I think that's true in running, I think it's true in business and marriage and faith and just your overall personal growth. You do not get to see the whole staircase at the beginning. You get the next step. That's it. And most people hate that. I hate that. That's the worst. You're telling me that I have to put in all this work, and all I know is that I just have to go up one step and I don't know what the next one's gonna require of me. A lot of that's fear. A lot of that is just us having to endure. Like we want certainty, we want to know what the whole plan is, we want to know how it ends, and we want confidence before we actually act. But life usually does not work this way. Confidence comes after action, clarity comes after movement, belief comes after proof, and proof comes from doing the thing you said you were going to do. One step at a time. It's not one big dramatic change overnight. Although sometimes that does happen. Some people have that ability just to be like, snap of the fingers, I'm gonna change into a new person. And if that's you, that's great. But I really think about this in my own running. This is a perfect example for what I'm talking about today. There was a time when a marathon felt monumental, then it became possible. But then a sub three became the goal, and then ultras entered the picture, and then the goals they just continue to keep on shifting. And the funny thing is, is earlier versions of myself, if you would have told me to that I was gonna go after a marathon, or I was gonna even do a half marathon, I would have said, There's no chance, no way I'm running that much, no way I'm doing that race, no way I'm signing up for that. What are you crazy? That was who I used to be, and that's what's interesting about this whole process is the more you do something, you're like, Oh, actually, I might be able to do more. And that version of me who thought, like, no chance, he thought that because he had not earned it yet. He had to finish what was in front of him. That's how growth works. You don't start at the top, you build the person who can handle the next level, and that is frustrating because it's slow, it is not sexy, it is not dramatic. Most growth looks boring while it is happening. I've talked about that many times on this podcast. You have to understand and endure the boredom because that is what's going to build you into an amazing person, into the person you've always dreamed you could be. It's the things like the normal runs, it's the lift you didn't want to do, it's the the work block that nobody sees. That's where the next version of you gets built. James Lawrence, he shared this quote from Dieter F. Ookdorf, which I think is amazing. And I actually am a big fan of Ookdorf. He's amazing. Uh he's a leader in my church, but he says this try and keep on trying until that which seems difficult becomes possible, and that which seems only possible becomes habit and a real part of you. I want to read that again because I don't want you guys to miss that. Try and keep on trying until that which seems difficult becomes possible, and that which seems only possible becomes habit and a real part of you. That's the whole thing. That's discipline, that's identity, that's training, that is becoming who you're meant to be. At first, something feels impossible, and then it becomes difficult, and then it becomes possible, and then normal, and then a part of you. That is how people change. It is not through a one giant emotional movement, through repeated action again and again and again. That's how you do it. Until the thing that you used to fear becomes part of who you are, and this is where people get it wrong, I've seen. They think confidence is something that they need before they start. While that's nice to have, it's not a requirement. Confidence is usually earned after you start. You don't wake up one day and magically feel like a runner. You run, and then you run again, and then you run when you're tired, and then you run when your brain says, skip today. And after enough reps, you stop trying to convince yourself, and you just know. You just know who you are. That's who you are now. Same thing with podcasting, with business, with marriage, faith, and anything that is worth building. You don't become the person first, you become the person through doing the work. And this brings me to one of the most powerful things that the Iron Cowboy talked about.

Dayton’s Ironman And “I Get To”

SPEAKER_00 10:38

He told a story. He talked about a boy named Dayton. Dayton has cerebral palsy, and James did a full Iron Man with him. Dayton couldn't swim, he couldn't ride a bike, and he could not run. So James literally had to, he he had a little raft that his dad, um, Dayton's dad bought at Walmart that was $20, had duct tape on the sides to make sure that it wasn't going to pop or anything like that. And James wrapped a rope around his waist and swam 2.4 miles. And then for the bike portion, which is 112 miles, James had a custom carrier built for Dayton where he would drag him behind his bike. It was attached to his wheel. But what's interesting about this is around mile 30 of that race, of that bike part, something malfunctioned with the with the carrier itself, and it started rubbing against the wheel. And so James was talking about how he went from you know 30 miles an hour down to four and he was giving it everything he had. He was pushing as hard as he can, and he was going really, really slow. Eventually, his wife was worried about him, didn't know where he was where he was or what he was doing. So his wife catches up to him on a bike and says, Hey, what do you need right now? And he's explaining to his wife, like, I don't know if I can do this. Like, this is it's it's it's slowing me down so much. And so his wife goes back and for some reason puts her hand out on the the carrier and it stables it, stabilizes the whole thing. And because of that stabilization, it helped with not grinding on the wheel. So immediately they went from four miles an hour to 25. And it's super interesting because that portion of the race it took James nine hours to do. And what's really interesting to me is that people from the Iron Man race came up to him and said, Hey man, it's getting dark out. We can't let you continue. Um, we're gonna have to have you stop right now. And James said he was just heartbroken, he was shattered. But there was a cop nearby, and the cop said, Hey boys, follow me. I'll I'll direct you to the run portion. And so the cop turned on all his lights and he showed a video of it that it's crazy because the iron cowboy's behind this cop car, Dayton's in the his carrier, and his wife is behind him, and they're just going along, doing this race. And the entire time James was talking about this story, he kept saying that he wanted to hear at the end of the race them say, Dayton, you are an Iron Man. And he had this realization as he's going through this whole thing. He said, You know, Dayton cannot swim, Dayton cannot bike, Dayton cannot run. And eventually they finished the race with 24 minutes to spare before they were officially disqualified from time, and Dayton became an Iron Man. That it's one of the most impressive stories, and I think, you know, that story changes the whole lens. The whole lens of when we're trying to accomplish great things. Most of us wake up and say, you know, I have to do this again, I have to train, I have to work, I have to go to the gym, I have to eat better, I have to wake up early. The list can go on forever. But James made it clear that he tries to do the same thing, but instead of I have to, he says I get to. Like you get to run, you get to sweat, you get to feel your legs burn, you get to sign up for that race, you get to wake up with a body that can move. That perspective shift is not small. It changes the way that you carry the work that you're doing. And I'll be honest, I forget this all the time. I focus on the negative a lot. Like I focus on how tired I am, I focus on how sore I am, or how much I don't want to do something, or the pressure that I feel, or I how far I still have to go. When I'm on a long distance run and like I'm eight miles into a 20-mile run, I think, are you kidding me? I still have 14 miles. I'm not even halfway there. That's the wrong perspective to have. But it is human. And I'm not gonna pretend that I wake up every single day and fired up and grateful and ready to attack the day like some motivational robot. I don't do that. That's not me. And I can almost guarantee it's probably not you either. None of us is perfect in that way. Like some days I do wake up annoyed. Some days I wake up and I don't want to run. Some days I don't want to work on the podcast, or some days I look at a goal and said, man, why? Why did I sign myself up for this? But that Dayton story is a gut check. Because there are people out there who would trade anything to do what I'm complaining about. There are people out there who would love to go on the run that I'm dreading, or who would love to have a healthy body that I'm criticizing, looking in the mirror, saying, like, Brett, man, you got a few pounds to lose, buddy. You're not looking so muscular these days. People would kill for that. And here I am complaining about it. Some people would love to have the opportunity that is in my life that I'm treating like some burden. And that doesn't mean that your hard things are not hard. Let me make that very clear. They are. Pain is still pain, training still hurts, stress is still real, and life is heavy. But gratitude changes the way you relate to it. It does not remove the weight, it just helps you carry it a little bit better. That is the point. Gratitude is not pretending everything is easy. It's remembering that even the hard parts can be gifts. That long run you don't want to do, that's a gift. The legs that ache after a workout, another gift. The chance to work toward a dream, a gift. The fear that shows up before a big move, even that is a gift. Because it means that you're still in the arena. You're still trying, you're still alive in this fight. And I think we need that reminder because the human brain has a negativity bias and notices threats and notices pain and what's missing in our lives. That has helped us survive in the past. But if we ever train our pers if we never train our perspective, we start seeing every challenge as a punishment. And then we become bitter, we become resentful. We start acting like our blessings are burdens. And that is dangerous. That is a dangerous way to live. Because one of the fastest ways to ruin a good life is to forget that it is actually good. You can have a strong body and still complain about training. You can have a job and only see stress. You can have a platform and only see slow growth. I know because I've done it. And I'm guessing you have too. That's why the I get to that mindset that really matters. That goes a long way. And it's not cheesy if you mean it. I get to run, I get to build, I get to learn. Actually mean it. That phrase can pull you out of entitlement very fast. It reminds you that you're living, it reminds you that the thing you're complaining about might be the thing that someone else is praying for. And again, that's not I'm not trying to make you feel guilty. I don't think guilt is a great long-term fuel source. But gratitude truly is an amazing tool to use. And gratitude gives you strength without making you hate yourself. Which I've had a history with. But it is the truth. Like, yes, it is hard. And yes, I'm lucky I get to do it. Both of those statements are true. They can be true. I would say that is the very mature way to look at suffering. And endurance sports, they teach this well, which is why I love doing it, because it's it is an opportunity to see what I'm capable of. Because when you're deep in a long race or a hard training block, like your mind starts narrowing. Your world gets very small at that point. And all you can think about is pain. The next mile or the next climb, the next aid station, or the next chance to stop. And if you let your mind stay there, it will get ugly very fast. I'm telling you this from experience. Like my first 50k in Arizona, after I started throwing up nonstop, I started playing the sad game, the sad me game. Like, are you kidding me? I'm out here trying to push myself as hard as I can, and I'm throwing up every quarter mile. This sucks. But for that race specifically, I was running for my friend Jordan, who had stage four colon cancer, and he did not get to choose his battle every single day. And here I was complaining about something that I chose, and something that was hard for me, but I knew I could get through when Jordan didn't have that clarity or perspective. It is a gut check, I'm telling you. But when you zoom out of that, when you stop complaining about yourself, things change. You remember that you you chose this, you remember that you trained for this, and you remember that you wanted to become someone stronger. Well, that's the process. This is the toll, and this is the work that you have to do to get to that point. And nobody gets to skip that part.

The Bully In Your Head

SPEAKER_00 20:00

And that brings me to the next piece uh from James's talk, which is the bully that is in your head. I'm sure many of you are familiar with that. But for this specifically, I want to talk about how he did 101 Iron. Wow, excuse me. I want to talk about how he did 101 Ironmans in 101 days. Uh just think about that for a second. This is nuts. So every single morning he wakes up knowing that he has a 2.4 mile swim, a 112-mile bike ride, and then a marathon. And then he has to wake up and do it again for 100 days. Eventually 101 after he decided to push himself a little bit more. That is hard to even process for me. Like he talked about the pain and the suffering, and he showed pictures of his legs and how they were so swollen and just destroyed. And on day 59, he actually got hit by a car on his bike ride and he broke his L7 vertebrae. Insane. But he kept going. And it's funny because he talked about how the bully in his brain would come up on the days where he did not feel like the guy, or the days where his mind told him that he could not keep going. The days where that bully was in his head and it told him, You're not the one to do this. I love that phrase, the bully in your head. Because we all know that voice. And it may not show up during an Iron Man, but it shows up in life. Anything that you're doing. You know, you're trying to get back in shape, and that bully says, Hey, you've already failed this before. Or you're trying to post content, and that bully says, Nobody cares. Nobody cares. You want to apply for that job, but the bully says, You're not qualified for that. Or when life gets hard, it says, You cannot handle this. That voice is brutal. And the mistake most people make is that assuming that voice is truth. It's not always truth. Sometimes it's just wearing a serious voice. Sometimes it's your brain trying to keep you safe, or it's your old insecurity. Fatigue, it's pain, it's your nervous system saying, Hey, this is uncomfortable. Can we please just stop? And yes, sometimes that voice is useful. Sometimes your body is warning you. Sometimes you do need to rest, and sometimes pushing harder is the stupid move. I want to be clear on that. I'm very impressed that James uh finished his goal of 101 Iron Man's uh with a broken L7 vertebrae, but I'm not saying that you have to do that. I'm just saying when that voice comes up, a lot of the times it's not telling the truth. Like, I don't want you to think that this is an episode about ignoring every signal uh and wrecking yourself. Because that's not discipline, that is ego at that point. And I've learned that lesson the hard way multiple times. Sucks. But there is a difference between wisdom and fear. There's a difference between a real warning and mental resilience. And there is a difference between your body saying we are injured and your mind saying we are uncomfortable. And you need to learn the difference. That is a very important lesson. Because if you obey discomfort every time it speaks, your life starts to get smaller. You stop signing up, you stop taking risks, you stop trying, and you start protecting an identity that is not even making you happy. And that bully in your head gets louder because it keeps on winning. Every time you quit for no good reason, that voice it gains a little bit more power. It says, Oh, you actually do listen to me. Okay, well, let's see if I can push it just a little bit more. And every time you keep going, when you see when it's safe, you keep going, you take that power back. That's the rep, and that is the training. And I think that's one of the biggest lessons from the Iron Cowboy that I learned is he didn't beat the voice once. He beat it over and over again on day one, on day 17, on day 33, on day 66, on 69, nice, on day 93, and day 101. And that matters. Because most people think mental toughness is one big heroic moment. And it's usually not, it's usually very small. It's usually like looks like continuing or getting to the next mile, or recording the next podcast, or showing up when your effort feels average.

Perfectionism Kills Consistency

SPEAKER_00 24:12

That was another piece that I like from his talk, is he talked about continuing even when it wasn't his best effort. And that's huge. That really is huge because I think perfectionism can kill consistency. If you're always trying to get everything in your life perfect, it's not gonna go out that way. I'm sorry. It's just not gonna happen. Perfection is impossible. A lot of people quit because they feel like they can't do it perfectly. Like they miss one workout in a week and so they they blow up the rest of the week. They're done. Or they have one bad meal and then they cheat for the rest of the week. One bad episode and they question the entire podcast. That mindset will destroy you. Because life is not clean, training is not clean, business is not linear, and growth is not linear. All those things have ups and downs. Think of the stock market. That's gonna be your growth journey. If you have a straight linear one, you're an anomaly, and I am impressed, and I would like to meet you and have you come on the podcast and share your tips and tricks. But when you understand that growth is not going to be a straight line, it's going to take months, years, maybe even decades to get to where you want to be. You're in it for the long game at that point. Like some days you will not be at your best, and that's okay. But you still need to bring what you have. That's maturity. Not every single run is going to be a breakthrough, or every single workout's gonna be a PR. Not every podcast episode I record is gonna be my best. But sometimes the win is that you didn't quit. Sometimes it's that you kept the streak alive, or that you showed up with 60% and gave the full 60%. And that counts. People underestimate that all the time. But those days build trust with yourself. It's like I was saying in the beginning. You need that proof that you say or that you do what you say you're going to do. That's so important. Because when you show up on the average days and the bad days and the tired days, your identity will become stronger. You can start saying with confidence that I can count on myself. That is one of the most valuable things you can build. It's self-trust, not confidence based on hype or not motivation based on goal setting. Like real trust. That kind that says, when I say I'm going to do something, I follow through. That kind of trust changes your life. There's no other way for me to put it because I've lived it and I've seen it. And it is true. It has changed my life. Knowing that I do follow through, even when I don't feel like I'm giving it my all. That's what's important. Because then bigger goals stop feeling like fantasy and they become plans. Hard plans, yes, they are hard, but they are plans regardless. And this connects back to the first lesson that I was saying is that you can't see the next challenge until you're ready for it. Readiness is built through that self-trust. You finish the current thing, then your mind expands, you do the 5K, and then maybe you see the 10K, then you do the 10K, and then maybe you see a half marathon. You do that half marathon, then a marathon becomes possible, and you do that marathon, and then maybe the ultras will start whispering in your ear like they did with me. That is how the bar rises. That's how you do it. It doesn't rise because you sat on the couch and imagined a bigger life. It rises because you proved you could handle the current one, the current challenge, the current moment that you're in now. And that applies outside of running too. Don't just think it applies there. You build a habit and then you build a business and then you have the hard conversation, then the relationship gets more honest. You post that for first video, and then you learn how to make better ones. You don't get all the answers first. I wish that was possible. You know, I wish it was kind of like the Matrix. You plug in and boom, you know exactly what you want to do. You're an expert in kung fu. Whatever. But that's the thing, is like it takes years to develop. And if you listen to the Winston Churchill podcast last week, when he was giving speeches back in 1939 and 1940, when he's really trying to motivate Britain in World War II, that didn't come because he all of a sudden was prime minister. That came because he had spent decades building his speaking skills, his public speaking skills, understanding how to tell stories. And he was planning for all the things that were going on in his head. And so when that moment came, which they refer to as the darkest hour, he was ready for that hour. He had prepped, he had planned, and he trusted himself. He says many times in the book that I'm reading that there's no one that could do it better than Winston. That's pretty powerful. But it's not because one day he woke up as prime minister, it's because there were years of preparation that went into that. So, I mean, you can't have all the answers first, which is kind of the annoying part, but it's also the beautiful part to get kind of cheesy. It is the beautiful part. Because if you could see the whole road at the beginning, you might not start. If you knew every hard day ahead of you, you might talk yourself out of it, honestly. Like, so maybe life only gives us the next piece for a reason. Maybe that's what it's all about. Life only hands us what we can handle the time. And then maybe we're not ready for the whole picture yet. Maybe we just need enough light for the next step. Like, I think about where I was standing at that conference where I heard James Lawrence speak. I was at the same conference as I've been to before, but in a different role. And that is kind of how life feels sometimes. The same room, but a different version of you. You think you know where you're going, and then things begin to shift. You step into a new season, you feel a little uncertain, uh uncertain, and you wonder what the next challenge is. And then something like this talk hits you at the right time. You hear someone talk about human potential, suffering, gratitude, and the bully in your head, and then you realize that this is not just about endurance. This is all about life. Because life is always asking us to become more, not all at once, but over time, through pressure, through failure, through the work that we don't feel like doing.

Action Beats Arguing With Thoughts

SPEAKER_00 30:30

And that's where I want to bring this back to you. What is the challenge in front of you right now? Maybe it's your health, your marriage, your faith, your career, your discipline, your confidence. Maybe it's becoming the kind of person you keep saying you want to be. You probably know because most of us know what the challenge is that is in front of us. We just pretend that we don't because knowing creates that responsibility. And responsibility is heavy at times. But I've learned that avoiding that responsibility is much heavier. That is the truth. Because all of a sudden, you have this realization that you want to make this change in your life or you want to become better in something, and you ignore that, that will eat you up. That will derail your confidence faster than anything else I've noticed. And you have to instead trust that things will work out. You have to take that next step and figure out okay, how can I adapt? How can I get better? How can I make the most of this and still maintain a positive attitude when things get dark? Because from a faith perspective, I believe God gives you challenges and he gives you things that you he knows that you can handle that make you become the person that he needs you to be. That was that's my belief. I think God is the person who is he knows our potential fully, and he knows what we can become. And it's until we accept these challenges, these trials, whatever is in front of us, we embrace them and we say, instead of, I have to endure this, you say, I get to endure this. It sounds so cheesy, but like I said, if you believe it, it's not cheesy. It's truth. You can train your brain this way. Your brain is an amazing piece of work. Like the best computer out there, and you can train it just like you can with a computer. Like if you see someone running a race and you want to be like that person and you envy them, maybe it's time for you to sign up. Or you see someone building a business, and you're you get that same feeling, like, man, I wish I had that. Maybe it's time for you to start. Those are all signals. Use it. Do not sit there and spiral, but move. Take that next step. That is the fix. It's not the full plan. You're not gonna get the full plan. It's the next step. Whether that's you sign up, you make the call, you write that first page, or you go on a walk, you start to eat healthy, you send a message, tell the truth, or start again. And when that bully in your head shows up, do not act surprised. Of course it showed up. That's what it does. You are trying to change and you are trying to grow, and you are stepping into discomfort. The mind will resist that, but let it talk. And then you keep on moving. You don't have to win an argument with every negative thought. That is exhausting. Sometimes the best answer is action. The thought says, You can't do this, so you take the next step. That thought says you're not ready, take the next step. Or that thought says, This is too hard for you. What do you do? You take that next damn step. Pick yourself up, keep going. And then it's not because that thought will disappear, because it's simply because you stop letting it drive. And that's powerful. You reclaim your mind. And I think this is where endurance sports it gives me such a clean lesson. Because during a long race, you learn that thoughts change. One mile you feel awful, the next you're okay, the next you're awful again, and then the next one you're laughing, and then the next one you want to quit, and then you see how gorgeous everything is, and you're like, this is amazing. And then you feel awful again, and then your stomach hurts, and then you finish. It's wild. It's such a crazy roller coaster of emotions. And if you've made a permanent decision based on every temporary feeling, you'd you'd never finish anything. And that's life. Your feelings are real, but they are they are not reliable leaders. Sometimes they're just weather, and you have to let them pass. And you keep going. And again, I'm not saying you ignore pain in some reckless way. Be smart, take care of your body, rest when you need, and ask for help when you need it. Do not confuse discomfort with danger. Sometimes Sometimes the door that you have to walk through is the scariest one that you see. And when I think about James doing his 101 Ironmans, I don't think he just thought about the physical side. Obviously, that is insane. But the mental side is what hits me, and that I think what taught him a lot about himself. Waking up day after day knowing what's ahead, knowing what pain is coming, knowing what the doubt is coming, knowing the body will hurt and knowing that the mind will negotiate and still starting. And you have your own version, I guarantee it, of whatever his 101 Iron Man's is, where you have to wake up every day and say, I have to face this again. It could be something going on in your life, something really heavy. And I'm sorry if that's the case, but all you can do is take the next step. You will become stronger for it. And it's hard. It really is hard. But you have to find ways that you can stay in the game. Either if that's through gratitude, if that is through finding someone who can't and doing it for them, or showing up for the ones that you love, or showing up for yourself, knowing that you have a better version of you on the other side. It's just like what I talked about with Allie last week, how she's doing something hard in a hard season with her high rocks while 24 weeks pregnant. And during that race, she is going to become someone who I cannot wait to meet on the other side of that because I know she will have that bully in her head is going to talk her, try to talk her out of the race so much. But I know Allie, and she's gonna push through it. She's gonna ignore that voice. She's not gonna be reckless, but she will ignore the voice that says, You can't do this, you're not ready for this, you're not in shape. Whatever the story is that it's gonna be telling her. It's not gonna happen. And I think one thing that you have to decide is if this is who you are or if it was just a mood.

Discipline Outlasts The Mood

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Because that matters. Like, was it a commitment or was it a mood? A lot of people confuse the two. They feel inspired, so they make some kind of promise, and then the the feeling leaves, and they think that promise expired, and it didn't. The feeling was never the foundation, the commitment was. That's why discipline matters. That is why discipline has completely changed my life. Discipline keeps you moving when emotion leaves. And this is where I think most people understand must misunderstand discipline. They think discipline is harsh, they think it's beating yourself up, it means never resting, never enjoying life or never being flexible. And that's not what I mean here. Discipline is staying loyal to what matters after the mood has changed. That's it. That's really it. You said your health matters, so you train when it's not exciting. You said your family matters, so you show up when you're tired. You said your dream matters, so you work on it when nobody is watching you. You said your faith matters, so you pray when life is messy. That is discipline and it is not a punishment. It is alignment, it is living in a way that matches what you say you value. That is why the I get to mindset really does matter. Because without gratitude, discipline can start to feel like a prison. With gratitude, discipline becomes a privilege. I get to train, I get to build, I get to struggle for something I care about. That's a whole different life you're gonna live. And I think that's one of the biggest takeaways that I had from Dayton's story. Dayton gave James a new lens. A reminder that the ability to suffer voluntary is a gift. That sounds strange, but it really is true. Chosen choosing hard things is a gift. Training is chosen suffering. Building a business is chosen suffering. Insert whatever thing that you have there that's hard for you, that's chosen suffering. It is a gift. That can shape you, it can sharpen you, it can it can teach you. But only if you stop resenting it the whole time. That is the key. If you choose a hard goal, don't spend the whole process acting surprised because it's hard. You picked hard, you signed up for hard. That doesn't mean you're doing it wrong. It means you're exactly where you need to be. And this is where I want to be careful with what I say because motivation can get cheap very fast. People hear a story like James Lawrence and they think the lesson is go harder. But I don't think that's the full lesson. The lesson is deeper. It is find out what you're capable of, stop believing every limiting thought, carry your suffering with gratitude, and do the next thing. And let the next challenge reveal itself to you when you're ready. That's better to me than go harder. You're probably capable of more than your current life is asking from you. And that sentence does make people feel uncomfortable. It makes me feel uncomfortable because I have to think about okay, well, what am I slacking on? Why aren't you asking more from yourself? In an honest way. Why aren't you? Why are you waiting? Why are you negotiating? Why are you treating comfort like it's the goal? Because it's not. Comfort's fine in small doses, but comfort cannot be the highest aim. Because comfort becomes the goal, growth becomes the threat. And then anything hard stops looking like a problem. Starts looking like a problem. That is not how you build a meaningful life. Meaning usually costs something. Fitness costs comfort, marriage costs ego, faith costs surrender. There's always a price, and the question is, are you willing to pay it? And for the things that matter, it's usually I think about the people listening right now who are on the edge of something. Maybe you know you need to sign up for your next race, or maybe you know you need to start a business, or stop drinking so much and start getting serious about your health, or start that podcast, or apply for that job, whatever it is. It's not gonna be a small moment. And I'm not gonna sit here and tell you it will be easy because it will not be. You will have days where you feel you feel strong, and then you'll have days where you feel weak, and then you'll have days where you question everything, and that is normal. But don't quit because the bully in your head gets loud. Don't quit because that first version of the goal feels hard. Do not quit because your effort today is not perfect. Bring what you have, do the next rep and take the next step and try and keep on trying until difficult becomes possible, until possible becomes a habit, until habit becomes part of you. That is how you change. I hope this was helpful at all. I I mean I heard his talk at Accelerate, and I was just, I think a lot of us get the idea of suffering wrong. You know, there's people out there like Goggins who they're complete anomalies and they do what works for them. But they just a lot of the times power through it. And I know Goggins learns a lot of lessons on his runs and his his races, but a lot of times we let fear dictate what we're what we're doing in our lives. And we don't want to embrace the discomfort that we know we're gonna have to in order to get to what who we want to become. As cheesy as that is, it is the truth. That's been the truth in my life time and time again, is that the only person that is setting limits on my life is myself. And you can't let that happen. You gotta shut that voice up as soon as you as soon as you hear it. Ignore it. It's like what your mom used to say when you'd go to school and she's like, if there's ever a bully, ignore them. Same thing with this guy in your head. It's not doing you any good. So the best thing that you can do is keep on moving.

Share The Show And Leave A Rating

SPEAKER_00 42:54

Take the next step. If this is helpful at all, my friends, please share it with someone that you might think might be going through it and might need a little uh reframe of what's going on in their lives. Because really, the struggles that we all face, as hard as they are, as difficult as they can be, a lot of the times our gift, especially the chosen suffering. Don't be surprised when things get hard. But it would mean the world to me if you left a rating on Apple Podcasts or Spotify that that helps me get in front of more people that I would never be able to talk to in real life, and uh gets the show a little bit more popularity, which I am a big uh fan of the show. Obviously, I love the show. And um, yeah, so I really appreciate you guys spending some time with your friend Brett today. Go into whatever hard season you are with a little bit more gratitude and a little different approach, and you'll get through it. You'll be stronger on the other side. And as always, my friends, keep getting after it.