Getting After It

177 - What This Season Is Teaching Us (That We Didn’t Expect)

• Brett Rossell • Season 6 • Episode 177

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Life doesn’t always teach you the lessons you ask for. Sometimes it teaches you the ones you need.

In this episode, Ally and I sit down for an honest conversation about the season we’re in right now, one that looks good on paper, but feels heavier and different than we expected.

We talk about how discipline changes shape, what happens when old routines stop working, and how learning to stay steady matters more than forcing progress. This isn’t advice from people who have it all figured out—it’s a real conversation from the middle of change.

If you’re navigating a season where your pace has slowed, your priorities are shifting, or the rules that once guided you don’t seem to apply anymore, this episode is for you.

Topics we cover:

  • What this season is teaching us (even when we resist it)
  • How discipline looks different as life changes
  • Letting go of control and learning to trust the process
  • Redefining strength during uncertainty
  • Staying grounded when progress feels unclear

Sometimes getting after it doesn’t mean pushing harder.
Sometimes it means learning how to stay steady.

Keep Getting After It.

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I hope today’s episode sparked something within you to pursue your dreams and unlock your true potential. If you found value in it, consider sharing it with someone who might need that same push.

Getting After It is for those who. want to silence their self-doubt. Refuse to be owned by comfort. Understand their limits are man-made and breakable. We live in a time of constant comparison. Social media drowns us in highlight reels and overnight success stories. But what most people don’t see is the grit behind it all. The reps. The quiet mornings. The sacrifices. The failures.

You are just getting started. Keep Getting After It. 

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SPEAKER_00:

We didn't plan this episode. That's kind of the point. On paper, it's this season of life looks good. Right? Looks pretty good. A lot of good things are happening. And yet it's heavier than we expected. Not in a bad way. I would just say in in a just a real way. It's heavy. Training feels different. Work feels different. Our bodies feel different. Our energy feels different. And we've noticed something interesting. The rules that we used to live by don't typically apply the same way that they used to. So instead of forcing a lesson, like something I tend to do on this podcast, or pretending to have it all figured out, we wanted to talk honestly about what this season is teaching us. Lessons we didn't ask for, didn't expect, but probably needed. So if you're in a season where things do feel uncertain, like there's a lot of difficult things going on in your life, you're trying to accomplish a lot, maybe work is heavy or you have some family things. Hopefully that you you can listen to this episode and at least get some ideas of one, that we're all in the same boat together. Everyone has struggles, everyone has challenges. And two, maybe there's something in here that you can apply to your life to kind of make it a little bit easier. So Alessandra, welcome to the show.

SPEAKER_02:

Thank you. That was quite the introduction. I'm excited for what we're gonna talk about today.

SPEAKER_00:

It's a little opener, yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

Sounded great.

SPEAKER_00:

Cold opener. I've been working with um Gail, Chat GPT.

SPEAKER_01:

Good friend.

SPEAKER_00:

Asking it how I should structure the podcast and all that kind of stuff. And recently they said you should you should do a cold open every every now and then.

SPEAKER_02:

I liked it.

SPEAKER_00:

Just reading something like that.

SPEAKER_02:

I think you should stick around.

SPEAKER_00:

It's kind of like like what uh Chris does now. Our good friend Chris Williamson.

SPEAKER_02:

Super close friends.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, modern wisdom, man.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00:

Um also, if you're watching this right now, you can tell that things are changing right now. Uh process. We are in the process of building out the studio in Utah. And so we got some new chairs, so you're not gonna be looking at mustard anymore.

SPEAKER_02:

That's too bad. You love mustard.

SPEAKER_00:

The mustard, yeah, I do love mustard.

SPEAKER_02:

But it was time to retire.

SPEAKER_00:

It's time to retire then. And then these foam panels. There's only three right now. Uh, we ran out of foam, uh, but we will it'll be a full wall. So really excited about what's going on. It's just, you know, a good step for the podcast, I think. But back to you.

SPEAKER_02:

Okay.

SPEAKER_00:

Thank you so much for being here today.

SPEAKER_02:

Of course.

SPEAKER_00:

I I wanted to bring you into this conversation because you're the person who I do my life with.

SPEAKER_02:

Fair.

SPEAKER_00:

So it makes sense. And we both deal with different things. And so one thing I might not say, or one thing I might say, might not apply to someone else, but something you say might apply to someone. So I like having two different voices in here to chime in. Um, but as always, you're my favorite guest. So thank you.

unknown:

Thank you.

SPEAKER_00:

But I'm I'm curious, and kick it off with this. What has surprised you the most about this season of life?

SPEAKER_02:

Uh this sounds okay.

SPEAKER_00:

Well, actually, let me paint the picture of what we're going through right now. Let's paint it. If that's okay. So I'm starting a new job in a week. Uh it's a bigger role, something that's gonna be a little bit more intense. Um we're going back and forth from Arizona to Utah, waiting until you get based in Provo. We are training for two, well, I'm training for two races. You're training for High Rocks with me in February. So like physical toll has been high on my body. Yours too. And did I miss anything else?

SPEAKER_01:

I don't think so.

SPEAKER_00:

Okay, yeah. So, anyways, it's just a lot's going on. It's very busy. We're trying to build getting after it, you're trying to build siblings in crime, and yeah, it's just a lot. So I'm curious what has surprised you so far about this season.

SPEAKER_02:

I will say I think it has been a very fun time of our lives. I think it's very new. We're trying new things, you're going to a new job, we're trying higher rocks, which usually we only run. True. Um we're trying new things with the podcast, both of our podcasts. So I think it's been it's been fun to build. It's been interesting. We're learning a lot.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

I think one thing that this I don't mean this to sound negative, but one thing that isn't talked about as much, or maybe it is, in this age group, in our phase of life, is it gets pretty lonely. I mean, we have each other.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

But I was shocked. I mean, I was always a social social butterfly, and it is interesting how difficult it is to meet new people or make plans with people you know. Schedules are tough, our schedules are tough. So, I mean, I you're my best friend, I love hanging out with you. But it is also shocking that despite how fun and busy it's been, it's also like your your group gets smaller as time goes on. I'm starting to notice that in this season as well.

SPEAKER_00:

What makes it so difficult?

SPEAKER_02:

I think we're meant to be in a village. I think you having your support, having your circle um makes life easier. You have people to do the hard stuff with, do the easy stuff with. Um maybe the social pressures, like you feel like you're supposed to be hanging out with a lot of people, something you've always done, or may or may not have done. Um maybe expectations. Yeah. But it's just different. And I don't think it's necessarily bad all the time. Like I actually love what we're doing, even all the times it is just two of us.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

Um, but it is just uh growing pains changes.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, it's tough. It really is weird. Because like, I don't know, I you were probably the same way in high school, but like in high school, I was like, I'm gonna have these friends for the rest of my life. And my dad was like, You're not, like, they're gonna leave. Like you guys are all gonna do different things. And I was like, Oh no, dad. My group of friends were the best. Like, we're gonna stay together. And he was correct. Um, everyone's everyone's doing other things, everyone's busy, they're instead of the stuff. Yeah, you can still be friends, but yeah, we're friends, but it's not like how it used to be, you know, like it wasn't ever like I'm not gonna go over and hang out at their house until one in the morning. Right. Because most of them are either married or like they have kids now, so right. Yeah, priorities change over time. How do you uh how do you cope with that? The fact that priorities change all the time. How do you balance that into your life? That's hard. That's a hard thing for many people, myself included.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah. I think in just in our day-to-day life. Well, I think we what's helpful for us like as a couple is we talk about it a lot.

SPEAKER_01:

That's true.

SPEAKER_02:

We're very comfortable talking about our day-to-day, the pros, the cons, what we're working on, what we need.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

And like every day, you're like, what can I help you with? What do you need? And I think that's like a huge thing, you know, being able to openly talk about it. I think schedules are huge. Like, if you want a village, you gotta be a villager. And so I need to be the one making the calls and putting things in the books and not being bummed when it actually comes up and I have to go do it, you know, like being lazy when the time comes.

SPEAKER_00:

And that happens to the best of us.

SPEAKER_02:

I know it's so frustrating. So I think just being able to recognize it for what it is, it's change, it's normal, it's part of life, and recognize like your focus is gonna change all the time. What matters most right now?

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

If it is like having a girl's night once a month, then put it in the books and make it happen. Call everybody, make it happen.

SPEAKER_01:

Put it in the books.

SPEAKER_02:

If it is spending or having our dates, is it whatever it may be, going on a trip? I don't know, whatever we need to prioritize, if we need one-on-one time, I don't know. So I think just being able to really take a strong look at your life, say, how am I feeling emotionally, physically, spiritually, what's lacking, and how do I make it a priority right now to be fulfilled?

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

Because all those little buckets need to be filled up.

SPEAKER_00:

It's true, they do. Um, I like what you said about just how you have to realize that it's change. Like life is change.

SPEAKER_02:

And that's okay.

SPEAKER_00:

And it is okay. Like, I mean, you and I, like it's interesting. You can look at our life from like an outsider's perspective and see how much we've changed through you know these almost four years. Um we've been together for four years.

SPEAKER_02:

Been together for three.

SPEAKER_00:

I'm married.

SPEAKER_02:

Well, we've been together for three still. January of 2023.

SPEAKER_00:

My timeline's different.

SPEAKER_02:

Okay. Okay, add two months.

SPEAKER_00:

Anyways, um, but anyways, like there's a lot that we have changed, either with like ourselves, what we're doing, and it's been great. Yeah, like change is always hard, it's hard to embrace, and it's hard to be comfortable with the things that like you're not gonna be doing um the typical things that you used to do. Uh, but maybe it'll be something different. Like, I've I've always always nice, that's terrible. I've always uh struggled with change.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00:

And it wasn't really until I met you and we got married that I started learning how to adapt to the change. You had to do so much change. Um sorry. But like the story was the same everywhere I would go. Like when I went to college, I moved up there, I was depressed for a couple weeks, and I was fine. Um, but it's because I was adapting to that change. Same thing with like when I went on my mission, like I was depressed for a little bit and then I was fine. Um, so it's just being uncomfortable when things are changing is a hard place to be in. And I feel like you and I are in that season right now where a lot is going to change. And you know, we just have to keep our heads high and keep moving forward. That's the only thing that you can do.

SPEAKER_02:

I think it's very okay to mourn your past life, not sit around and be depressed for who knows how long cry about it. But to recognize, like, it's time to put that time to rest.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

Like, and you can be sad about it. I think you can acknowledge that you had a great time and also recognize that things are going great right now, the present's great, the future is even better, I'm sure. Yeah. Might have some lots of issues, I'm sure. Of course, that always happens. But I think you can recognize the good while you're in it, regardless of the discomfort of change.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah. Yeah, I love that. There's this quote from Andy from The Office. Oh. And it's the final episode, I think. And during this moment, there's a bunch of like flashbacks throughout all the seasons of like what they've all done and how they're all friends and all that kind of stuff. And he says in it, his quote is Um, I wish there was a way to know that you were in the good times.

SPEAKER_02:

Oh.

SPEAKER_00:

And I think that's like what you and I are talking about too. Like, just because things are changing, just because life is heavy, things are are difficult to do, that doesn't mean you can't be happy, you can't have joy, you can't be excited about life. And um I think that's where gratitude comes into play a little bit. Like if you have a mindset focused on gratitude, then you recognize how blessed you are and how lucky you are to have the things that you do. And um, but yeah, I mean living in the moment, I think, is a good antidote to that.

SPEAKER_02:

I agree.

SPEAKER_00:

Like you have to just be focused on what's going on. That's why I love the brick. I'm very present now.

SPEAKER_02:

You've always been very good at being present.

SPEAKER_00:

I try to be, but thank you. Um I'm curious. What is one thing that's hard now that wasn't hard before?

SPEAKER_02:

Hard now that wasn't in the past?

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

Just anything in life.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah. Um if it's a good thing.

SPEAKER_02:

This might be dumb, but this is the first thing that came to mind. Oh, that's such a dumb answer. I was just gonna say commuting.

SPEAKER_01:

Commuting?

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah, I know that's like not probably what you're looking for. The reason being, I feel like in the beginning, like you do something different. I love change actually a lot of the time. Like I know hard change is hard for most people, and it can be hard. Obviously, it depends what the change is. But in the beginning, when I was commuting back and forth between Provo and Arizona, it kind of I kind of felt like a big girl. I'm like, look at me commuting to my new job, and I'm like, and I like love Arizona too. So I'm like, I get to go back and forth every week. This is fine. Like, Arizona's nice.

SPEAKER_00:

And meanwhile, I'm up in Utah being like sad.

SPEAKER_02:

I'm sad too. I mean, I obviously miss you too, but I was like, this is like new and exciting and different, and I felt very mature and responsible. And now it's just a nightmare. And like the thought that we have to go back to Arizona makes me want to ball my eyes out. And I think I just want stability. I've always thought it was fun to travel a ton, be in different places all the time. And I think as I've gotten older, I've had a harder and harder time to have a desire for that lifestyle. I like stability. I want my roots down. I want us to build a home and to feel like we belong somewhere rather than I'm always in my suitcase because I'm going so many different places.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah. That's actually my answer, it was going to be traveling.

SPEAKER_02:

Oh, really?

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, because like one, I have a harder time traveling and like leaving you. I'm not saying like, okay, I want to make something very clear with all the listeners here. Allie and I are not like attached to each other by the hip. We spend a lot of time together.

SPEAKER_02:

But because of how much time we don't spend together.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, because we do spend a lot of time apart. But when like I get on a plane to go to a work event, or that's basically the only thing that I'm I'm on a plane for right now. That's the only reason you're leaving. Um I hate it because like then that I know I'm gonna be sleeping by myself in a bed in a hotel room where it's quiet and I'm uncomfortable. I hate it. And it's just not my thing. And like I used to be the same boat, like, oh, traveling's so exciting, and it is, but I think just right now, it's not something that I like doing. Yeah, like I'm sure it'll come back. Yeah, because traveling's great, but right now I'm in the same boat. It's like I just want some stability, just wanting us to get our roots in.

SPEAKER_02:

Right. Probably because we haven't been able to have that in two years.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, the whole time we've been married. Like it's been difficult to actually be able to settle in because first year of marriage, you went to training um and you were gone for three months. I'd come visit you every now and then, but and then like it was back and forth from Arizona to Provo. A lot.

SPEAKER_02:

It's a lot.

SPEAKER_00:

How many days do you think that we spent apart?

SPEAKER_02:

I don't know. Probably like three or four days a week.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah. For a year.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00:

And a half almost.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah, until you came down.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, that's pretty crazy. That's like a That's horrible. That's like a fourth of the year.

SPEAKER_02:

That's bad.

SPEAKER_00:

No, that's more than a fourth.

SPEAKER_02:

I don't know math, but I hated it. And so now I'm just over the whole thing. I just can't wait for us to actually be established and make this place our home.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

And that's what I'm looking forward to most. So definitely the traveling has been harder on me these days.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

That's funny. I didn't know you had the same answer.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, it's interesting. Um how do you embrace change? You said you like change. How do you do it?

SPEAKER_02:

That's funny. I've never thought about that being a difficult thing.

SPEAKER_00:

I'll walk me through. Like when you I don't know, you went on a mission as well. What was it like adapting? Like, how did you deal with that change?

SPEAKER_02:

I think most of those type of things I'm excited because it's new. I like new, I like adventure. And I served my mission in Virginia, and so I never been to the East Coast, really. And so I was like, I gotta see all these new places. Yeah. I was definitely, don't get me wrong, like you're definitely stressed, you're sad, you miss your family, and that was all gonna be hard. But I mean, I was always looking forward to teaching people about Jesus Christ.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

So it was kind of always like an anticipated thing for me. So when it came, I felt like finally, and I think with a lot of change for me, like with my job changes, a huge amount of anxiety, it's scary. However, it's like the anticipation's finally over. I've been waiting for this. So I think a lot of the change that happens, it doesn't feel so abrupt because I've been planning for it. The change that hurts the most is when you're not ready for it and it whiplashes you. Yeah. And if it's a difficult thing, if it whiplashes you and it's like the best news ever, then you're probably just stoked out of your mind. But when like the sickness comes or like a death comes, those kind of things that you can't just always plan for are the type of changes that suck so bad. You had no way to mentally be prepared and emotionally be prepared. And that's when change is the hardest. You don't, you never were um, you never saw it coming.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

And so you didn't know what to do. But most of the change that you can control is willing, like willing, I'm willingly choose the choosing those things. And so I've had that thought in my mind for weeks, months, how years, however long it is. And so when the time comes, it doesn't freak me out so bad because I've imagined it so many times.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, yeah. You're very good at that. Visualizing things, you're so good at. Like, I'm not kidding. Allie will just she'll tell me that sometimes she will daydream, but she's not daydreaming, she is visualizing something. Like when we were training for the 50k, I remember you would always tell me that when you were running and it was getting hard, you would picture yourself running in the race, and that would get you through.

SPEAKER_02:

Oddly enough, yeah.

SPEAKER_00:

That is such a powerful tool. See, that's I wish I could harness that and use it, like visualizing anything.

SPEAKER_02:

I had no idea that was like a thing. Like, not a thing, I guess, for other people.

SPEAKER_00:

I mean, I don't like I think in moments like that when it sucks when you're running and you have to put yourself in that headspace of like, okay, this is me running in the race. I think what most people think about, because I do this a lot, is like this sucks. I am not having a great time today. Um, but man, it's powerful, hell.

SPEAKER_02:

But I don't know, like in the race, it like you know you have to finish the race. And so I'm on the race is different. I'm on the treadmill at the gym, and I could stop any second and no one's gonna yell at me. It's not a big deal. I don't feel shame. Oh, I feel still feel shame. But it's like, okay, it's a workout, you know. If you put yourself at the race, like, no, like I finish races.

SPEAKER_00:

Like, and so I'm just saying, that's amazing that you can visualize all that.

SPEAKER_02:

That's so funny. Yeah, I never really thought about that. That's like that helps me a ton with like job interviews when I had to go through that and different hard conversations I've had to have.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

I've had like full conversations in my head and they play out word for word. When you and I were talking about marriage, I'm like, oh, I have this exact line that I'm gonna pull and came to pass.

SPEAKER_00:

What's the story um about when we wrote in the journals and stuff, and then we talked about it together, and then you said that, and you're like, I I knew that you were gonna say that.

SPEAKER_02:

For in my head for a week at least, as I just knew This is crazy. I this is such a weird story, but long story short, Brett and I were not dating very long. We we're only dating for a month, and we said we love each other. Kind of weird. We're we're those people. We've also known each other for 10 years prior, so yeah, less weird.

SPEAKER_00:

But hey, when you fall hard, you go.

SPEAKER_02:

Still weird, but anyways, we said we love each other really fast. Then I went out of town for a month. I come home for two days, and the only thing in my head over and over is like like we're gonna get married, aren't we? Yeah, like that line over and over. We're gonna get married, aren't we? We're gonna get married. I was like, and it was like starting to like weird me out because you and I obviously had not talked about marriage or anything. Well, then like lo and behold, a week and a half later, two weeks later, we were just talking about you're telling me a conversation you had with your brother, yeah, and how you finally told me that you feel like you want to marry me, or something along those lines that you see a future with me is what you said. And I said, We're gonna get married, aren't we? And I like pulled out that line, you're like, Yeah, it looks like it. I was like, holy frick, I'm freaking out. We literally have been dating for like two months, and we're already like saying, like, yeah, we're gonna get married.

SPEAKER_00:

And that's so crazy.

SPEAKER_02:

It felt like it was like, okay, insert now. Like, I've had that conversation in my head for weeks, ready for you to like pull that line on me so I could say mine. It was so weird. And I think I just think about this kind of stuff all the time, and especially if I know the person well, it's easier to like anticipate like how the conversation's gonna go.

SPEAKER_00:

But I bet you can imagine all the conversations that I would have with you about any subject.

SPEAKER_02:

Probably. Like that's like the other day when, oh, oh, well.

SPEAKER_00:

Like I can imagine if we went to Rome and we were walking around Rome.

SPEAKER_02:

True. And uh history, so I can't.

SPEAKER_00:

You don't have to, but like you'd probably think of things that I would say, like, wow, look at the Coliseum. That's where the gladiators fought. Yeah. Stuff like that. You probably have on cue.

SPEAKER_02:

True.

SPEAKER_00:

Anyway, sorry I interrupted you. What were you saying?

SPEAKER_02:

It's okay, because I totally lost my train of thought. I was trying to think last night, um, you said so you I said so I don't know. Remember, I was like, we were hugging and I said something, and you like didn't hear me, and then you said the exact same thing. I was like, I literally just said that you were gonna say that.

SPEAKER_00:

Yes. What was it? I don't know.

SPEAKER_02:

You were in um Oh, it's gonna drive me crazy. You're on the fast forward this part. Well, we think.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

Anyways, all I'm saying is you're pretty predictable for me.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, that's fair. And you are a mystery still to me, so it's great. Good. Yeah, get a little bit of both. Where have you had to let go of control?

SPEAKER_02:

I hate to keep going back to the whole job thing, but like the commute. Like I can't get probe based any faster than what they're willing to give me. It's been in our purse every single day for two years, and we and it hasn't happened. And I think that a lot of things you have control of, like which where you want to live, and as far as like where you want to buy a house and all that stuff. And this is one thing, it's like we want to live in Utah so bad, and we just can't. And and so I think I I need to to loosen the reins on my expectations. And it's like comp there's literally zero things I can do in order to get over here faster.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

And so that's been really hard for me. I mean, obviously, there's there's lots of things I don't have control of in my life, I'm sure. But that's the number one thing that I think is affecting us day-to-day that we're having a really hard time with.

SPEAKER_00:

I think it's hard to let go of control.

unknown:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00:

Because you want to fight that so bad.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00:

Like the fact that you're not based in Provo, it's like I know you, and you're thinking, like, okay, well, what can I do to maybe make it happen a little bit sooner? Like, yeah, like I'm gonna quit. How can I make this in my favor? Yeah. I quit. I'm out of here. But like, it's tough to let go of control. I've had uh let go of sleep, controlling my sleep. Because like, I if I don't like, I don't know. If I'm awake and I keep thinking about the fact that I'm awake, then I will keep thinking about that and I will not go to sleep.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00:

And recently I've learned just like I try and think of something else. So I'll I'll do what you do and visualize. I know, but then sometimes I also like hype myself up and get myself excited about certain topics.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah. So because what you have to do, obviously you have to pretend you're already sleeping, that's why you close your eyes. So then you gotta start daydreaming like you're dreaming already.

SPEAKER_00:

It's so funny, by the way. One of my favorite lines from you is it's funny how when you go to sleep, you have to pretend.

SPEAKER_02:

I think with a lot like, and what's weird in me is that that's like everything we do. It's like, oh that's like, okay, what's one thing you want to be? Tell me.

SPEAKER_00:

A podcaster.

SPEAKER_02:

Podcaster. So what are you doing all the time? Podcasting and stuff. And so it's like, if you don't have the audience you want right now, you gotta treat social media like you do have the same audience that you want. So you're posting the same type of stuff as if you had 50 million followers. So it's like, even if you're like not the professional you want to be yet, you gotta act as though you are in order to be there.

SPEAKER_01:

That's fair.

SPEAKER_02:

Same with an athlete. Like, okay, I want to be an ultra marathon runner, very well known, all this stuff. Okay, well then you gotta start putting in the reps because like doing it now and you're not and you're nobody, yeah is what's gonna get you to be somebody one day. But I just think everything is I'm like I guess I'm a fake it till you make it type of thing. Like you just have to be that, and then yeah, it will come to pass.

SPEAKER_00:

I mean, have you seen that in other areas of your life?

SPEAKER_02:

All areas of my life. I feel like everything is like one thing, this is so bad of me. I'm like, I really want to be that housewife that is like on top of the laundry, loves doing dishes, keeps the house clean, like is the ideal wife and mom, right? That's what I want to be.

SPEAKER_00:

You already are. So good job.

SPEAKER_02:

No, I'm congrats. I do not like cleaning. You're the cleaner, you're the cook. And I want to be cooking and baking and be super cute like that. I'm not super cute like that. You are really cute like that. You're the cook, you're the clean.

SPEAKER_00:

Whoa. You're growing cute around.

SPEAKER_02:

You're very cute.

SPEAKER_00:

When I'm cooking chicken outside.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah. Hot.

SPEAKER_00:

That's a dead bird.

SPEAKER_02:

What does that mean? Oh, chicken.

SPEAKER_00:

Chicken's a dead bird.

SPEAKER_02:

I thought that was like a phrase.

SPEAKER_00:

That's not cute.

SPEAKER_02:

Yes, it is. And I want to be like that, and so I have to just start doing it. I'm like, why I just want to be a cute housewife, but I'm not gonna be a cute housewife if I'm not doing all the things that cute housewives do. So I don't know.

SPEAKER_00:

I think you're a great housewife.

SPEAKER_02:

You're biased.

SPEAKER_00:

And you're cute.

SPEAKER_02:

But that's one of those things where I'm like, same with the whole grocery cart thing that we always talk about.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

Like, I want to be a respectable citizen of the United States. Therefore, I put my shopping cart away after I unload my groceries. And so, because I want to be known as someone who cares about other people, I do that stupid little thing. I don't know. That one is such a dumb example, but the idea of being, I think a lot of times if you want to be something great, you gotta do the stupid little stuff to pretend you are until you are.

SPEAKER_00:

I mean, that's pretty accurate. Like you're spot on with the podcast example. Like, you have to start. You have to pretend that you're doing it and pretend like you have things to say that actually will help other people get after it, you know? Like those are all things that I I believe that hopefully this finds um the audience and is a good message for those people. But at the end of the day, it's like at least I'm getting better at it too. Like, at least I'm learning, I'm growing.

SPEAKER_02:

So it benefits us as a couple too.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah. Um, what are you learning about yourself that you didn't expect? I have a few ones for you. I have a few of them for you.

SPEAKER_02:

For me?

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

Oh, what the? You start.

SPEAKER_00:

Well, I think one of the things that you have learned is patience.

SPEAKER_02:

Patience is the first thing that came to mind, but then I was like, mm-hmm, am I patient?

SPEAKER_00:

I think you've gotten much better. Yes. Yeah, you've gotten much better.

SPEAKER_02:

Well, I mean, I have definitely gotten much better since I was in high school. My family will out me out every chance they get that I had no emotion regulation.

SPEAKER_00:

Which I still haven't to this day seen.

SPEAKER_02:

So the fact that you don't identify with them in that sense is a big win for me.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah. Um, patient though, with like waiting for Provo with me.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah, I think patience waiting in general. I guess patience has surprised me. I think a lot of times you patience comes just because you have no choice.

unknown:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

And then you learn to be comfortable in a waiting period, and that's how you so-called get better.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

And I think we just had to have a we've had a lot of things we've had to wait on up until recently.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

And because of that, I think you just get better at the practice of understanding that everything has a season and time.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, that's true. It's hard.

SPEAKER_02:

But thank you.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, I mean it's nice of you to think about it. Have a few more if you want.

SPEAKER_02:

Where are you pulling these from?

SPEAKER_00:

I just m observe.

SPEAKER_02:

Okay. What else you got?

SPEAKER_00:

Uh, I think you're really good at speaking your mind. I feel like I feel like you've learned over time how to control it, but also be very direct and honest with other people. Like, that is a huge, huge benefit in our marriage. The fact that we're both direct to each other.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00:

Like sometimes it's hard to hear, but it's worth it. Always.

SPEAKER_02:

Not passive aggressive.

SPEAKER_00:

If you do it with love, you can't go wrong.

SPEAKER_02:

Right. That's true. That is one thing that I have realized that as I've aged in my fine youth, or from my fine youth since then.

SPEAKER_00:

You're a woman now.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah, that now that I'm a woman, for some reason I do I do tend to be much more comfortable saying my opinion. And not an opinion in like an argumentative way, but definitely when it comes to our marriage, because nothing is pet peeve. What is it? Tell me. What's my pet peeve?

SPEAKER_00:

For you? Yep. Um, when you scratch that type of paper.

SPEAKER_02:

Okay. Different one.

SPEAKER_00:

Um oh, miscommunication.

SPEAKER_02:

Yes, miscommunication. I was not expecting the paper.

SPEAKER_00:

You put me on the spot. I had to think of a few.

SPEAKER_02:

Sorry. Yeah, miscommunication. Nothing drives me more crazy than a movie that the whole thing could not have like wouldn't have happened if they had one conversation. And I know that ruins the movie, and I get that's the whole point of the movie, but I was like, this will never be our marriage. I don't ever want either of us to ever storm out with without an explanation. Yeah. Like we need to understand what's going on.

SPEAKER_00:

Absolutely. It's like the movies where um there's a couple, they go on vacation, and the the dad starts sneaking out, and the wife thinks that he's cheating, but he's actually like building a huge surprise Valentine's present. Yeah, something like that. Yeah. All the kids are there, and then he's upset that he has to take down the thing, and then she runs up on the beach and is like, You're doing this for me. Yeah, exactly. Like, yeah, I wasn't cheating on you. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

And then the whole time they're like had the worst vacation week ever because they just didn't acknowledge, like, hey, I'm actually building you the best present ever. And all your kids and grandkids are here, by the way, too, hiding in that bush, ready to surprise you.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

And so nothing drives me more insane. So maybe that's why I have gotten better at communication because we will not have that in our marriage, or it's I will beat us both.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, I'm in, I'm in. I accept. What's my pet beef?

SPEAKER_02:

Chewing at your mouth open. That's it.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah. I don't really have any others.

SPEAKER_02:

Um, bad drivers.

SPEAKER_00:

Bad drivers, yeah. That is annoying. And just unsafe. Especially the fact like whenever we're driving, I'm like, I have a my wife in here.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00:

I'll get pissed off. You do get so mad.

SPEAKER_02:

Frustrated.

SPEAKER_00:

It's annoying.

SPEAKER_02:

We almost saw a car accident today.

SPEAKER_00:

That's true, yeah. Safe drivers out there. Get off your phones. Come on. Um what emotion shows up most lately?

SPEAKER_02:

Interesting. Which emotion shows up most recently? Go ahead.

SPEAKER_00:

For me? Yeah. Um for me specifically.

SPEAKER_02:

Can I guess?

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

Gratitude.

SPEAKER_00:

Gratitude.

SPEAKER_02:

Is that what you're gonna say?

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, gratitude.

SPEAKER_02:

I told you I know him pretty well.

SPEAKER_00:

I think just like there's a lot that's going on in my life and your life that we have to be thankful for. I feel like I think the biggest one for me is the fact that I'm healthy. Like, I have swimmers now. That's awesome. Yeah, just scutting around in there. But also the fact that like we're able to what? I got a job. I got a new job. I'm excited for that. Like, I have a podcast where I talk about the things that are important to me. I have a deep love for my faith. Um my family, like I'm I'm so close with them. I love them. There's just so many things to be grateful for. I could spend we could spend like four hours here where I just talk about the things I'm grateful for. Like it's ridiculous, but I feel like that shows up the most because whenever I'm in a season where it's really hard, I think moments like where I I focus on gratitude and keep that perspective, it just helps it helps me keep that perspective and like maintain focus on what's actually important and not get sidetracked by you know other things like how much I'm making or random things like that. So sorry, my nose is so stuffy right now.

SPEAKER_02:

Because you're getting emotional.

SPEAKER_00:

I'm getting emotional.

SPEAKER_02:

That's what I was gonna say for you is that you're just very good at um you're very good at looking for what to be grateful for. And that's why I knew you were gonna say gratitude, is because I know it's always been a focus in your day-to-day. And so of course you're gonna see that the most.

SPEAKER_00:

It's been showing up a lot.

SPEAKER_02:

Which is a great thing to keep your focus on.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

I would agree.

SPEAKER_00:

I mean, I think one thing I didn't even mention you.

SPEAKER_02:

What? Yeah, I noticed. No, I didn't notice. Really? No, I didn't notice that. Yeah, you're the biggest thing I'm grateful for. I know you say that all the time, so I just figured that's already there.

SPEAKER_00:

All right, fair.

SPEAKER_02:

Um yeah, it's hard for me not to say gratitude as well, just because of all the things that you mentioned. Things are going really well for us right now, and I'm very grateful. Of course, we know it's not always going to be that way. So, and even then you can be grateful. But I feel like I've had a whole lot of love these days. I think we've been spending a lot of time with family, and we just have had some um really great opportunities for us to just get closer together, and so I've been very tender these days, I guess you can say.

SPEAKER_00:

You know, with good reason.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00:

What do you think this season of life is teaching you?

SPEAKER_02:

Well, my first answer was patience, first thought. Um, just because I still do think we're still in a bit of a waiting period. However, I think m maybe even a a bigger lesson that is being taught would be just adapting to change.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

I think we knew from the start that 2026 was gonna be an unpredictable year. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00:

That was on our goals, yeah. Goals video that we make.

SPEAKER_02:

Every year we talk about how we did it in the previous year's goals and what our goals are for the next year. And our 2026 goals were like, holy smokes, like yeah, it seems as though we have no idea what this year is gonna look like. And I still think that's gonna that's gonna come out to be correct that we don't know what this year is gonna be.

SPEAKER_00:

Oh, absolutely. We have no idea what's going on.

SPEAKER_02:

But I think it's gonna give us an opportunity to really learn how to dial in comfort and the discomfort of change.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah. I love that.

SPEAKER_02:

It's only January February, so we have a long way to go, and I'm sure that that means that we'll have lots of ways to do it.

SPEAKER_00:

We have ways to go, but so much has already happened.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah, but say we have a lot of time to exercise this.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, we'll see what goes on. Um for me, I would say to show up no matter what. That's what I'm learning right now.

SPEAKER_01:

Really?

SPEAKER_00:

And I feel like I've understood that lesson before, but with the fact that like I'm trying to do all these different things, you're trying to do all these different things, there's a lot we're trying to accomplish. You're not gonna feel ready all the time. You're not gonna feel motivated all the time. Like that's very rare. If you feel motivated, great, utilize that. But most of the time, yeah, it doesn't last. Um, and so I'm truly learning like how to show up when my legs are more sore than they've ever been and go work out. Or uh how to show up and and after not sleeping all night. Yeah, exactly. Like being there for you, like making sure that we get adequate time together and quality time together. Um, with a podcast, like showing up even if I'm tired and I had have no ideas. I'll just start typing things and usually it forms something. Um but I think it's a powerful tool to learn how to show up when you don't want to. When you push past that discomfort, you you focus instead on motivation, but instead on your effort, then you'll do great things. But it's not not always gonna be easy.

SPEAKER_02:

And that's a promise.

SPEAKER_00:

It's a promise. That's a Brett Rossell promise. But I feel like that's kind of what I've been I've been learning through this. It's just like even though you're tired, show up when you're tired. Show up, show up when you don't want to do it. Show up when you feel like the weight of the world is on your shoulders and there's no one else that can help you. Like, just show up. Get it done.

unknown:

Get after it.

SPEAKER_02:

Get after it. I would also include showing up still goes towards your recovery. If your legs aren't working, you can show up. But maybe showing up that day looks a little bit different than running 20 miles away.

SPEAKER_00:

And I have, I've been good at that.

SPEAKER_02:

And you have been getting so much better. And I just wanted to remind everybody that showing up can look different day to day.

SPEAKER_00:

That's a great message for the audience.

SPEAKER_02:

It is. I don't want people comparing themselves thinking I didn't get out of bed today because of X, Y, and I'm super sick.

SPEAKER_00:

Yes, that is true.

SPEAKER_02:

But maybe that day is your day that you're showing up for yourself. You need health, you need a bath, you need whatever you need.

SPEAKER_00:

Right.

SPEAKER_02:

So be able to identify it. Don't be lazy, don't give yourself too much grace, but identify what is showing up day to day.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

That's how you truly get after it, right? All aspects.

SPEAKER_00:

That's right, baby. Honest effort.

SPEAKER_02:

That's right.

SPEAKER_00:

That's what getting after it is. I I think I told you this in the QA episode. I'd I I've worked on this sentence for four years. Getting after it is about honest effort and trying to become someone your younger self would look up to. That's what it is to me.

SPEAKER_02:

And that's what a podcast is all about.

SPEAKER_00:

That's what it's all about.

SPEAKER_02:

As well as the mantra.

SPEAKER_00:

The mantra. I thought you said mantra for a second. I was really confused.

SPEAKER_02:

Um that's incredible. I love it.

SPEAKER_00:

I think that's a good place to end. I really appreciate you coming on, Al. Always.

SPEAKER_01:

Thank you for having me.

SPEAKER_00:

You have great insights. Like you're one of my favorite guests because I enjoyed talking to you. I love talking to you, but also you get you give some heavy hitters.

SPEAKER_02:

I don't know about that.

SPEAKER_00:

No, you got some good things to say.

SPEAKER_02:

I think everyone's got good things to say. Everyone's living a life. That means they have good things to say.

SPEAKER_00:

That's true, which is why I want to have more people on.

SPEAKER_02:

So if you want to be on the Getting After It podcast, you can go to getting after it.co on Instagram. Website's still down. We're in the process of getting that back up. T-shirts will be available once that's back online. You can DM that Instagram or TikTok as well, same at name, and put in a little inquiry to come and talk to Brett Rossell on the Getting After It podcast.

SPEAKER_00:

That was beautiful. Thank you. That was beautifully said. Yes, and the invitation stands. Or if you know somebody. Or if you know someone who wants to be on and talk about all things self-growth and progression. Um, I'd love to chat with you. This community only grows through actually becoming a community.

SPEAKER_02:

So I like it.

SPEAKER_00:

Anything else you want to share?

SPEAKER_02:

I don't think so. As always, I keep getting after it.