Getting After It

167 - Control What You Can. Run Through the Rest.

• Brett Rossell • Season 5 • Episode 167

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In this episode, Ally joins me for a deeply human conversation about the dichotomy of control—what we can change, what we can’t, and why knowing the difference can transform your experience as a runner and as a person.

We begin with a Stoic quote so simple it’s almost easy to ignore: “Some things are up to us, and some things are not.” But embedded in that line is a mental framework powerful enough to carry you through injury, plateaus, heartbreak, loss, and even the days you just don’t want to get out the door.

From the mental spirals we face when progress stalls, to the pressures of comparison and performance, to the weight of grief and infertility, this episode isn’t just about running—it’s about real life.

Whether you're a seasoned runner or someone navigating life’s heavier miles, this conversation will remind you that you don’t have to control everything—just your side of the deal.

Takeaways:

  • The 4-step framework to regain control mid-run or mid-life
  • Why attitude matters more than outcome
  • How to break free from comparison and self-judgment
  • The power of one more step—especially when everything hurts

Because when all else fails, the question remains: Can you take one more step?

Yes. Then take it.

And keep Getting After It.

–––––––––––––––––-

Website: Keepgettingafterit.com

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I hope today’s episode sparked something within you to pursue your dreams and unlock your true potential. If you found value in it, consider sharing it with someone who might need that same push.

Getting After It is for those who. want to silence their self-doubt. Refuse to be owned by comfort. Understand their limits are man-made and breakable. We live in a time of constant comparison. Social media drowns us in highlight reels and overnight success stories. But what most people don’t see is the grit behind it all. The reps. The quiet mornings. The sacrifices. The failures.

You are just getting started. Keep Getting After It. 

Send us a text

SPEAKER_02:

Hi.

SPEAKER_00:

Welcome back to the podcast.

SPEAKER_02:

Thank you.

SPEAKER_00:

It's always a pleasure to have you.

SPEAKER_02:

Happy to be here.

SPEAKER_00:

It's time to get after it. Time to talk about some lessons and life and running.

SPEAKER_02:

I'm not shocked.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, no, it shouldn't come to a surprise to anyone. But um I don't know. I've been thinking about this a lot. And before I introduce this topic, um, how was your week? I never ask you that. Taking a little piece of your podcast, adding it to mine.

SPEAKER_02:

We don't really do that anymore. But it was a good week, I think. I only worked today.

SPEAKER_00:

Nice.

SPEAKER_02:

And only one leg. So it's totally fine. Um, I was sick all week, so I'm glad that the only day I had to work, I was starting to feel better. So I do feel like that uh thing is. Now you're ready to get after it. I'm ready to get after it.

SPEAKER_00:

Feeling strong, feeling good.

SPEAKER_02:

Yep, back into training finally. Took me way too long after the 50k to bounce back.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

But I'm working on it.

SPEAKER_00:

Mine took me a while too. My first one.

SPEAKER_02:

Well, it shouldn't have taken me that long. I just have been having patilla. Pateller? Patella issues.

SPEAKER_00:

Patella.

SPEAKER_02:

Patella?

SPEAKER_00:

Patella.

SPEAKER_02:

Patella issues.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah. I don't know if it's fine.

SPEAKER_02:

So besides that, that's annoying, but we're fine.

SPEAKER_00:

What's the exciting thing that happened this week?

SPEAKER_02:

Is it that we signed up for high rocks?

SPEAKER_00:

It's that we signed up for high rocks. Good job. You read my mind. How do you feel about that?

SPEAKER_02:

I feel nervous. I'm excited.

SPEAKER_00:

Me too.

SPEAKER_02:

I think we definitely can do do it.

unknown:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

Not worried about that. I want to go fast, but it's just a lot of movements I don't really do. Like I don't ever do burpees.

SPEAKER_00:

And for those of you who don't know what a high rocks is, it's uh it's kind of like a CrossFit event where there's ball throws, sled pushes, farmer carries, skis, rows. Pole sled poles. Sled poles. Did I not say that? You only said push, but sled poles, um, burpees, a few other things. Farmer carries. Farmer I said that. Oh. Uh but anyways, and then you run, and Allie and I signed up to do it together. So we're doing the mixed doubles. And uh, I'm excited. I think it's gonna be fun. It's gonna be fun to train together with.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah, that's what I was about to say. We never done like an event where we're a team.

SPEAKER_00:

I know, yeah. It's usually like races are very single, single-focused, I guess. Yeah, it'd have been an individual sport. That's that's the word. So um exciting things on the horizon. That one is February. I think it's the 25th, can't really remember, but it's coming up.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00:

So we got a lot of training to do.

SPEAKER_02:

That'll be good.

SPEAKER_00:

And this week, uh it's Thanksgiving week, and annual Hell for the Holidays event is going on. And this year's a little different. Usually we have lifting along with running, pretty much just trying to make yourself tired uh so you can earn that turkey, baby. Uh, but this year we're doing a 5k with Drew and his in-laws and their family. And then after that, Drew and I are gonna run as many 5Ks as we can. So that's that's the plan.

unknown:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00:

Last man standing of our own kind of last turkey standing.

SPEAKER_02:

That's funny. Wait, that's so cute. Well, follow along to see which turkey lasts longer. Gobble gobble.

SPEAKER_00:

Follow along to see what turkey lasts longer. Who gets the wishbone?

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah, exactly.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

I I will join if I'm not working. So I don't know yet.

SPEAKER_00:

That's true.

SPEAKER_02:

But stay tuned.

SPEAKER_00:

You're on call.

SPEAKER_02:

Yes.

SPEAKER_00:

Anyways, to get into this episode for today.

SPEAKER_02:

Tell me.

SPEAKER_00:

There's this quote from Epictetis. Your favorite guy. One of my favorite stoics.

SPEAKER_02:

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_00:

It's so funny because like this quote, like it sounds like it's gonna be something really big, but it's pretty self-explanatory and really simply read.

SPEAKER_02:

Okay.

SPEAKER_00:

Some things are up to us, and some things are not.

SPEAKER_02:

I love that.

SPEAKER_00:

That's it. That's the whole quote.

SPEAKER_02:

I love a simple quote.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah. What do you think that means?

SPEAKER_02:

Some things are up to us.

SPEAKER_00:

And some things are not. Some things are not. Yeah, exactly.

SPEAKER_02:

That's exactly what I feel about it.

SPEAKER_00:

Okay. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

I guess it's kind of it kind of feels like it's uh you create your own destiny type of feeling.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah. And um what the reason I wanted to talk about this today, so this whole podcast, I the title for it is the dichotomy of control for runners. Um for runners. For runners. But the reason being is like it's a very powerful principle for a few reasons. One, you can take it into every training session that you have. Like focus on what you can't control in every training session. The things that you can't control, don't let them bother you. Every race, and honestly, in like every hard moment in life. Cool. Um, because things happen, and you just have to find the joy in it if you can. Like find something to be positive and happy about. And you know, it's much easier that way to go about life than I think it is the alternate way of always like playing woe is me and all that kind of stuff.

SPEAKER_02:

Victim mentality a little bit.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, and it's it's that quote from President Nelson that I sent you today, where counting our blessings is far better than recounting our problems.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah, it's a really good one.

SPEAKER_00:

I feel like as as runners, like a lot of us run into this problem many times. Um it's just like we get so focused on what we can't control that the things that we can control don't get the attention that they deserve. And it's kind of a slippery slope, at least for progression. Like it's kind of hard to progress when all you see is negative.

SPEAKER_03:

Right.

SPEAKER_00:

Um, have you ever had that one like in any training session or like during a training block?

SPEAKER_02:

Where I see the negative?

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, where you focus on the negative and and let that bleed into kind of your attitude and your outcome, outlook.

SPEAKER_02:

I mean, I think I'm on a cycle. I think everyone probably hits this. It's like I'm doing I'm running, I'm training, I start doing really well, I'm getting really excited, and then I do really bad and I suck, and then I hate myself, and then I have to take like a week off, and then I come back and I get better, and then and that was to me every training period I've ever done.

SPEAKER_00:

Um like anytime you're training for a race or something. Okay.

SPEAKER_02:

I would say though, um I mean the one that comes to mind most aggressively is when I basically like quit running last year.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

Um I now walk me through that.

SPEAKER_00:

Why why was that such a big event and what caused you to spiral?

SPEAKER_02:

I it's honestly hard to say because I don't know why it affected me so strongly. I did my 10K for Pioneer Day. And um, let's see, was this last year? 2023.

SPEAKER_00:

Okay, so that was two years ago.

SPEAKER_02:

Or was it 2024? I don't know. It had to been last year, I think. I think it was last year. Yeah, I'm pretty sure it was. I did the 10K Pioneer Day in Salt Lake, and I ran my fastest 10K, but it literally took my soul with it, and my heart hurt for two weeks after, and I got into like 200 beats per minute. Like I my heart rate was.

SPEAKER_00:

Is that actually what it was?

SPEAKER_02:

It was actually 200.

SPEAKER_00:

200?

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah, that's the only time I've ever had 200.

SPEAKER_00:

That's crazy.

SPEAKER_02:

And it literally killed me, and I thought I was gonna die. So then I took like a week or two off of running because it just took my soul.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

And I tried to get back in running. I was training for a full marathon. I wanted to run um the oh, what is it called? It's not big cotton, what it's like in Pacing or something, sub to the end. Doesn't matter. Nebo.

SPEAKER_03:

Nebo.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah, Nebo. I wanted to get sub 330. Or sorry, yeah, 330. I wanted to qualify for Boston. And I was training, nothing was going right for me, everything hurt, my chest was still doing bad, and I wasn't hitting the paces I wanted. And then I finally uh I had a canyon run. I was supposed to do like 20 miles that day or something.

SPEAKER_00:

I remember this.

SPEAKER_02:

It was horrible. Ran down the canyon, heart was still hurting. I was just in a bad mood, not hitting any paces, couldn't push myself any further. Yeah, broke down, made you come pick me up, and I just cried the rest of the day. Sat in the hot tub.

SPEAKER_00:

I remember that.

SPEAKER_02:

I just balled. I don't know what it was. It literally break. I was like, I need to quit running because I think I was just so competitive with myself and I wanted to do so well, and I was so upset that I was doing not what I wanted to do. And my self-confidence, I wrapped it too much up, like wrapped it up too much in my my day-to-day running performance, not even just race performance, but my day-to-day. And because I wasn't doing how well I wanted to, like I thought I was the worst. I was like, I am the slowest, I'm the fattest, I'm always all of a sudden for some reason for some reason.

SPEAKER_03:

Stupid. All false.

SPEAKER_02:

As like every night, I just lost all my self-confidence, especially in running.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

And so I was like, I quit running, I need to take a break. It's like affecting me mentally too strong. So I did. So I didn't run that race. Um, and I haven't gone for three, three days since. No, but I I want to do it. I actually do want to go for speed one of these days. Um, but then I switched goals because then you guys were doing 50k. And yeah, so then my my goals shifted a little bit.

SPEAKER_00:

But I thanks for telling everyone about that. Yeah, that's right. You know, you gotta be open a little bit. But I uh I've seen you grow a lot. Like you don't let that get to you as much as you used to. You still do a little bit, like I'll be honest.

SPEAKER_02:

But especially like we all do with the 50k that came up, I was getting nervous because I wasn't hitting my distances I needed.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

So things like that, like if I'm not hitting like milestone goals, it freaks me out, I think, especially if I have a race or some sort coming up.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

Um I just like I just really don't want to not hit my goal. And so then if the training is reflecting I'm not gonna hit my goal, it stresses me out really bad. Um, so I do have bad days, but I would say like the good days obviously outweigh the bad, and I have more good days than bad days. But those days, I mean, before the 50k, I think it was like the week or not the week, it was like three weeks before. I'm supposed to be hitting like 26 miles on the weekend. And I I remember like the day before a long run, I was supposed to hit like 10 miles or something, and I did two, and I said, that's all I can do right now. And I was like, I I almost didn't even tell you because I I know you don't care, but it does it feels like I'm facing reality when I have to tell you your accountability.

SPEAKER_00:

I think your fear is like you feel like I'm a principal and you're like a little kid who's at school.

SPEAKER_02:

It does feel that way sometimes.

SPEAKER_00:

It's not that way at all. Like, I love I don't care what you do.

SPEAKER_02:

I know you don't care.

SPEAKER_00:

I just want the runners to be or I want the listeners real quick to be very clear. I don't force Allie to run.

SPEAKER_02:

She doesn't. I think it's the whole idea of being accountable. Like, I have to admit to anybody that I didn't hit my run. Even if it was your brother, I don't want to tell him, like, yeah, I only ran two miles. Like, even if I don't care about his opinion at all.

SPEAKER_00:

Why do you think that is?

SPEAKER_02:

Because I think it faces in reality.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, this might be a little bit too personal of a question. If it is, we can move on. But um No such thing. Do you think it's because like you're embarrassed?

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah, a thousand percent. Really? I'm definitely embarrassed, especially I think because I admire you as a runner and I appreciate I can like appreciate how much hard work you put in and I see what you're able to run through. And so it's embarrassing to be like, oh, by the way, I only did two miles just because I wasn't feeling it. Not because I'm like severely injured or like I didn't have a good reason because you run through when you don't feel when you don't want to, if you're not injured, and it's hard for me. If my mind's not there, then I'm like, I'm injured. Yeah, like that's like the same thing.

SPEAKER_00:

It's hard, it is hard, hard balance.

SPEAKER_02:

So it's definitely uh out of a place of embarrassment, but even if I don't tell anyone, it's still like embarrassing for me, just like that. I know it.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

Um, but there's definitely days like that where I'm like, okay, like negative thoughts one, that's it. I'm gonna go stretch and fake stretch because I hate stretching, anyways.

SPEAKER_00:

You know, you said a lot in there. Kind of want to pick apart.

SPEAKER_01:

Sorry.

SPEAKER_00:

No, I love it. The first being that you said everyone or that sometimes you have good days and bad days.

SPEAKER_01:

Right.

SPEAKER_00:

Everyone has those. Yeah. Even me.

SPEAKER_01:

Everybody has those days.

SPEAKER_00:

Like you, you think I'm some perfect runner. It's what you're making me sound like, and I appreciate that.

SPEAKER_02:

I don't think you're a perfect runner. I love you. But I don't think you're perfect.

SPEAKER_00:

Okay, well, you think I'm a great runner, which I don't think I am. I'm definitely not an elder.

SPEAKER_02:

You are in my um my role model when it comes to running for shit.

SPEAKER_00:

I appreciate that. Um, I have a lot of work to do. I'm not an elite yet. I'm an amateur, I would say. Um but everyone has goods and good and bad days. And it's kind of what I wanted uh focus on a little bit in today's episode is is focus on what you can control because I think that gives you a lot of power. Yeah. To excuse me. Um, what was that? I also burped. Oh. We're burping over here. Um, I think it gives you a lot of power just to be able to recognize what you can't control and focus on those actions. Like you can't influence everything that goes on. Um and just showing up. Like, even when it's hard, even when you don't want to, when you're supposed to run 26 miles, but you only get two in, you still showed up. You still decided, hey, I'm gonna go to the gym, I'm gonna run these 26 miles, and it might not have gone the way that you expected it to, but at least you were able to go that far, you know? It's like there's some people who can't even do that, yeah, either through health reasons or you know, age, anything. Like we're very blessed to be able to do what we do.

SPEAKER_04:

Right.

SPEAKER_00:

Um, and that's something that kind of pushes me along, but let's zoom out for a second. If you could list some things that you cannot control when it comes to running, what would those be?

SPEAKER_02:

Injuries.

SPEAKER_00:

Okay.

SPEAKER_02:

Weather if you're running outside.

SPEAKER_00:

Okay.

SPEAKER_02:

Um sickness. Um you can't control. I feel like you can control like a lot of it.

SPEAKER_00:

You can control a lot, but things that are out of your control when it comes to running. Um that's it, we can I can give you a lot of things.

SPEAKER_02:

That's the most I think of.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, no, you you got the the big one. So the weather, like you might train, and this is a good example. Like when I had my first ultra marathon, I was training in Utah and came down to Arizona, and it was like 110 that day, and that was out of my control. So having to go, it was 110 that day. When I started the race, it was like 95.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00:

Um, you're just smiling.

SPEAKER_01:

I was thinking, it was not 110 when he ran the race, though.

SPEAKER_00:

No, not when I ran the race.

SPEAKER_01:

I was like, holy.

SPEAKER_00:

And so like going from training in Utah to having to run in this desert when it's blistering hot. That was brutal. Something I couldn't control. Uh, same thing with like when we ran Team Tim 2024. Like it was pouring rain and it was cold. Freezing. Um, so that was difficult. So you got that, the weather. Injuries, obviously, uh, illness, like those things are out of your control. I I've said your genetics. Some people are tall, others are short. Like you can't choose that. Other people are another one, like another factor. So in a race, especially, like you're gonna get passed by people. Um you like some people might judge you, some people might criticize you, but you can't control what they're doing, so why worry about them? And then this one is the one that hurts the most for me, but the pace of progress. Like, you can put in the work, but it might not come as fast as you would expect it to or would like it to. Right. Um so those are things that I I believe are out of your control when it comes to running. And the reason I I like put this out there and like wanted to talk about this is because once you identify some of these things, then when they come up, you can say, hey, this is out of my control. I don't have to spend brain time focusing on it or worrying about it. You just move on, just go to the next thing and and bring back to what you can. So I'll ask you the contrasted question. Okay. What are some things that are are in your control?

SPEAKER_02:

Your thoughts, your actions. Um, yeah, like actions being like the decision to go run and how long and stuff like that. Um I feel like those are the two biggies.

SPEAKER_00:

Those are big ones.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00:

Biggie smalls.

SPEAKER_02:

Fuel, hydration, stretching.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, recovery.

SPEAKER_02:

Stretching is my nemesis.

SPEAKER_00:

It sucks. Stretching sucks, but I will tell you, and I've told you many times, nine-day difference. If you do it every night, I know. I promise you, you will feel better.

SPEAKER_02:

I will feel better.

SPEAKER_00:

It's joyous. Your joints will love you.

SPEAKER_02:

That's so beautiful.

SPEAKER_00:

I'm telling you, it's the truth.

SPEAKER_02:

I know. I I'm kind of better.

SPEAKER_00:

And you are. I know. I'm just I want to get that in your head. Because then injuries help prevent it.

SPEAKER_02:

Hence why I'm always injured.

SPEAKER_00:

Recovery, that's one. Okay. Any others?

SPEAKER_02:

Those big ones. No.

SPEAKER_00:

Okay. Well, here's what I wrote. Okay. You got most of them. Your effort, your preparation, yeah, your feeling, your attitude. That's a big one. Um, your reaction when things don't go the way you want them to.

SPEAKER_02:

That's my week one.

SPEAKER_00:

That's a hard one. That's a hard one for everyone. It sucks.

SPEAKER_02:

Right.

SPEAKER_00:

And your focus on the next step, not the finish line. Like every time I have a big race or I have a big event I'm training for, I've always I like I remind myself that I used to be sick, and no matter what I I do in the race, like I should just be proud of the person who I've become through trying to do these difficult things. That's cool. And like it's just trying to have perspective. That's something you and I have been talking about a lot, is like having perspective with the things that you go through and the things that you struggle with. And um usually like if I'm in a run or a race, and you probably felt this during the 50k, like it gets to the point to where each step takes effort. Like you have to think about it. You literally like literally have to be like, okay.

SPEAKER_02:

You might trip.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

I start dragging my feet and I'm stumping.

SPEAKER_00:

Falling over rocks.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah. Especially this last one. Oh my gosh.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, that's brutal. Brutal boulders. Big boulders. That's a nice boulder.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00:

If anyone gets that reference, please comment in the YouTube section or on Spotify and Apple Podcasts. There you go. Um, if you know what it is, good. Okay. Anyways, so that's always what I try and tell myself. Like, when things get hard, is like, can I focus on the next step?

SPEAKER_03:

Right.

SPEAKER_00:

Usually the answer is yes.

SPEAKER_03:

Right.

SPEAKER_00:

And as I've talked to more runners, like, that seems to be kind of a mantra that most of them say is like, can I take another step? And if the answer is yes, which it most likely is, take that step. Right. Doesn't matter if it's fast. Like, just try and focus on moving forward. I like that. Such good comparisons to life. I love that. Like when things are hard in life, if you lose your job, you don't know what to do, focus on the next step. If a loved one gets sick, you don't know what to do, you're scared, focus on the next thing that you can do. Like easier said than done. I understand that. And I haven't had to go through some of those things.

SPEAKER_01:

But concept stands. The concept stands. Has my stamp of approval.

SPEAKER_00:

There we go. Yeah. Yeah. Thank you. Um, but I want to break it down into a framework.

SPEAKER_01:

Break it down.

SPEAKER_00:

Break it down.

SPEAKER_02:

Oh, that was cool.

SPEAKER_00:

Thank you. Did it look cool?

SPEAKER_02:

No. I'm just kidding. I thought so. Hey, listen, that's I thought you looked cool.

SPEAKER_00:

Thanks, baby. I was about to say that's one of the great blessings of marriage. Honesty. Huh?

SPEAKER_02:

Honesty.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, keep me humble, baby. Just kidding. I need that.

SPEAKER_01:

I was just joking.

SPEAKER_00:

But I want to break this down into a framework. Break it down. And I just think like something like this is helpful for when you do feel like there's things that are out of your control and um you might be struggling or whatever the story is. So the first thing, what do you think the first thing to do should be? If if something is not in your control, you're starting to let it get to you.

SPEAKER_02:

Um pause.

SPEAKER_00:

Yes. Pause. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

Do you write pause?

SPEAKER_00:

I said pause when things go wrong.

SPEAKER_02:

Woo!

SPEAKER_00:

That's awesome.

SPEAKER_02:

Thank you.

SPEAKER_00:

Why do you think that's important?

SPEAKER_02:

Um, because I think that's like when momentum starts building, and if you're having certain thoughts, they only accelerate and it can fumble and grow. It's like a snowball effect.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

And so recognizing it is always like the first step.

SPEAKER_00:

I can never make any great decisions or big decisions if I'm moving. As weird as that sounds. Like with anything. Like if I'm, you know, when we were planning to build our house and things like that. If I was thinking about that, I needed to sit down and think about it.

SPEAKER_03:

Right.

SPEAKER_00:

I can't be on the move. I can't be multitasking. I have to actually do the thing.

SPEAKER_02:

Which is funny because you're a you're a runner thinker as well.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, that's different though.

SPEAKER_02:

Running is like pausing for you. Pausing your mind.

SPEAKER_00:

Pausing from like regular responsibilities and things.

SPEAKER_02:

Is there a light on?

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

Oh, sorry, guys.

SPEAKER_00:

You just gave me a scare.

SPEAKER_02:

You gave me a scare. You can't see it from here.

SPEAKER_00:

Running is just like a time for me to pause from typical life. Right. And it's something that I enjoy. So, yes, in a sense, it is like pausing for me, but um, the second thing that I wrote down to do is name what's outside of your control. And you need to label it. Reason being is call it out. Say it's okay, it's the weather, it's pain, someone else just passed me, like whatever it is, call out what's not in your control. Like that way it's out there, you know what it is. You don't have to spend time focusing on it. You can't change the weather if it's cold.

SPEAKER_02:

Right. What I was trying to do that 70s show quote and I don't know it. Can't control the weather, Jackie. And things never mind.

SPEAKER_00:

I know what that 70s show is, but I've never seen it.

SPEAKER_02:

I only see that meme.

SPEAKER_00:

Oh, nice. Um third thing is refocus on what's within your control. Pretty simple. Right. But this could be something like, okay, focus on your breath, your strides, or just wear your head's out. Focus on something other than the thing that you labeled. And then what's step number four? It's the last one.

SPEAKER_02:

Act on those things.

SPEAKER_00:

Act.

SPEAKER_02:

Ah, so good. Take the next step. I promise I didn't look it as next.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, we didn't prep for this. No. That's amazing.

SPEAKER_02:

Thank you.

SPEAKER_00:

I'm proud of you. Thank you. But yeah, that's really it. Is that's the framework. So pause, name it, refocus, and then act.

SPEAKER_01:

Okay.

SPEAKER_00:

That's it. I like it. And uh it's it's easier said than done, like I said, but you have to practice these things. It's just like with running. You can't just expect to be a great runner after one run. Like you can't expect to be able to handle all the things that are going wrong that are out of outside of your control just because you paused once and thought about them. This takes time to do. I'm still not great at it. I'm working on it. So I have this podcast. Keep myself accountable. Um but as simple as it is, like it's something that I deal with every day. Like recognizing that there's a lot of things out of my control. Um good example is like I'm sore a lot of the times, and I can't control that. I can't control how my body feels, but I know I'm still able and strong enough to go and get the workouts in, right? And so just a couple things like that. Like, I just have to focus on what I can do. And it goes back to those things, like your effort, your preparation, your focus, your attitude, all those things. I think attitude's really important, especially with running. Like so many things to find that you can claim to be negative. Like your pain, it sucks, it's hot, you're running up a hill. So many things to complain about.

SPEAKER_03:

Right.

SPEAKER_00:

But you can't control a lot of them, so what's the what's the point of complaining? Yeah, it might suck. But I don't think complaining gets you anywhere. Might feel good. But is it gonna help you? I don't think so. Could be a hot take, but anyways. So that's really it. And if I um if there's any new runners out here, my advice to you would be to not be afraid of slow progression. Don't worry about what others think about you. That's a big one that used to keep me back quite a bit. Is I had in it like it kept me back with the podcast. Really everything I did is I worried so much about what other people thought about me that I didn't take the time to think about what I actually felt. And because I had all these outside influences that I was worried about when I was doing something, like I started like when I started running, I wasn't really running for me. I was running because I wanted to maybe impress other people. Maybe that's the word I'm looking for, but um it's kind of silly.

SPEAKER_02:

It's not silly, that makes sense. It's funny hearing obviously these things because it's like you wouldn't guess if you were looking at you. Yeah, but it's interesting how um I remember when we were talking about this, like a lot of your runs, like you won't slow down because you don't want your Strava to say you're slower, you know? Like we're like zone two, and you're like, no, but now you're doing better. But it's funny because for a competitive runner, obviously you need data, you need to track your distance, your speeds, your pace, all your the different things, intervals, hills, whatever. But I would say, like, on top of what you were just saying about if you're a new runner, if you're a new runner and if you're trying to like running, if you're trying to get into it, I would say don't wear your watch. Like that's a hot take. Yes, it's cool. Like, I like, I mean, I wouldn't say never wear your watch, but I like looking back on my old runs and seeing that it was like a 12-minute pace. Like it's nice to have like things looked back on. But if you're trying to enjoy it or trying not to care what people think and stuff like that, then I would say dish the watch and do what feels good. Because people are meant to run more than we think. Are we supposed to just kill ourselves in every single run? No, that's why people hate running, it's because it's hard. But if you go out there not looking at a pace, not like if you're like, I'm just gonna go run for an hour and just who knows how far I'll go, who knows? And you're doing what's comfortable, like what's pushing yourself, but not over exerting, not like walking, you know what, like at a comfortable pace for you, then you're not worried about like what people are gonna see on Strava. You're not worried about what your heart rate was or anything like that. And I think that has helped me honestly a little bit when I was like quit running for a minute. I was like, I couldn't even look at my paces because it stressed me out so bad. And so I would start running like without my watch or like maybe like two runs out of the week. I wouldn't wear my watch. It'd be like this is for me to be able to focus on how I'm feeling. Yeah, it kind of is like your mind-to-body connection of like, okay, how am I feeling? You're checking in with your body rather than checking my watch, checking my pace, taking my time. I'm never looking at a watch, I'm only seeing what feels right. And I think that was that helped me to put away other like negative feelings with running, especially, but also just like other people's opinions and stuff like that. And so, do I think that's great all the time? No, like I like having data, like looking back, and I like seeing progression, and it's good to know if I'm like not running fast, yeah, like because I want to get better. But if someone's just doing it out of enjoyment, or it's like your first half marathon and you've never run a half marathon before, your goal is probably to finish, not for speed. Yeah, and so I think it's fair to have a goal to just run for an hour and who cares how long it or how far you go, or like go and run five miles and not care about how fast you go or whatever. So, in my opinion, that helped me a lot. And it helps me, I think, keep in tune with myself, helps me more like enjoy it more. Um now, obviously that's not gonna work for everyone. You would hate that you refuse to ever do anything without your watch. Um, but I think that's just another idea. Because in that case, you're only focusing on what does matter. It well, unless data is what matters to you most, right? But the things you can control are like how you're like you're responding to your current run. And so I think that's just one thing that helps me.

SPEAKER_00:

It's great advice, actually. So it doesn't have to be a regular thing, but no reason being is I think especially in the beginning, that's where my attachment to my watch came from, I think, because I was every time I would run, I would look at like the data right away, be like, was it fast or was it? I do love data. Yeah, I love the fact that I have years of it now. It's awesome.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah, see that's great, but every single run.

SPEAKER_00:

Right. I know what you mean. Like you can get so focused on the numbers to where if you don't hit it, like what you were saying with your experience, it'll just make you spiral. You'll start losing faith in yourself and you'll be like, I can't do this. And so sometimes, yeah, that's great advice. Ditch the watch. Like, don't focus on the numbers. I can't say that I will follow that.

SPEAKER_02:

But maybe I don't expect you to.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, but maybe. Like, but though those things don't like bother me that much. They used to, yeah, but not anymore. So That is great advice. Like go out there and just do it for you. Get comfortable and see how far it takes you.

SPEAKER_02:

Right.

SPEAKER_00:

Anyways, I wrote something for new runners.

SPEAKER_02:

Okay.

SPEAKER_00:

I'll read it out and then we can close.

SPEAKER_02:

Okay.

SPEAKER_00:

So I s I titled this one Beginners Need to Hear. If you're new to running and you're frustrated by slow progress or comparing yourself to others, hear this. Progress will come, but not when you demand it. It comes when you earn it through consistent showing up. You can't control how fast you improve, but you can control that you lace up again tomorrow. You can't stop others from judging, but you can keep going anyway. You can't change your past, but you can write the next chapter. Trust me, if you show up again and again, you will be proud of who you become. You don't have to control everything. You just have to control your side of the deal. Let go of what's out of your reach and double down on what's on your hands. Effort, attitude, one more step, that's how you get after it. That's it.

SPEAKER_02:

I like it.

SPEAKER_00:

Simple.

SPEAKER_02:

And a good reminder.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, I mean, I think a lot of us, myself included, sometimes, like feel like the whole world's against them. Like I think there's a lot of factors that are outside of our control. And really it's, you know, there's always one thing that you can do next. There's always one step that's right in front of you. So sometimes you just gotta find it.

SPEAKER_02:

Can I add one thing?

SPEAKER_00:

Please do.

SPEAKER_02:

About real life. Because a lot of people are like, okay, great, that's good for running. Or I don't know if anyone feels this way, but somebody could say that that's great for running, that's great for things that don't matter. What about like these home hitter things, you know? Like the real life struggles. And I feel like I can speak a little bit to it, but you emphasize how these things, these steps, being able to pause and reflect and then act on the things that matter most and the things you are in your control. That definitely does pertain to every aspect of life. And I think about like I was trying to think about how that pertains to like when my dad was sick, and because that's like complete like 100% out of control, right?

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, you cannot control it.

SPEAKER_02:

Like you can't control any of that. And so people listening who are going through their hard time saying that's great and all, but doesn't mean that that works for me. I think it still does. Like one thing that I remember that as I'm thinking, like as you're talking to me about this, I think what the only thing that really had in my control for sure is like my attitude. Of course, you're allowed to be sad and acknowledge these things, and you're allowed to have feelings. Like if you had a bad run, you're allowed to be sad about it. If your dad's dying, you're allowed to be sad about it. Like you're allowed to be sad about things that are make you sad. And I'm not saying like when you're pausing and you're supposed to only focus on what you can control, like you're still allowed to feel all the feelings. Yeah. Um, but I was thinking about like what did I do? How did I apply that when I was going through some hard times? And even like my day-to-day, I would just take the time to like spend extra time with my dad or take more videos and more pictures, or like we listen to a lot of Christian music. And so even though I couldn't do anything about the problem, even though like the trial was its own thing and I was completely out of my control, we can still do things to um boost ourselves or support in other ways. Even if it's not dealing with the trial or the bad run, there's things outside of that that we can be doing to still help us become better people and to focus on the good. And there's there's good in any in everything, and I don't care what you're going through, there's good in something. Like it's as horrible as it is, I'm not belittling anyone's situations. But when everything feels out of your control, there is still something, no matter what someone says. Yeah. So I love it. I know that was like kind of a tangent and probably didn't really make any sense.

SPEAKER_00:

No, I appreciate you sharing that, and it does make sense, and you've been through it. Like your dad passed away from cancer. Right. You know what that's like to have someone you love so much pass away, get sick. Yeah. And that's horrible.

SPEAKER_02:

And obviously that part was out of my control.

SPEAKER_00:

And it's horrible. That's so it's like terrible.

SPEAKER_02:

Right.

SPEAKER_00:

But I love what you said. It's like there's little things that you could do, like spending more time with him, right? Like listening to Christian music, which I didn't know that you did with him. I like that.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00:

Um taking photos, like all that kind of stuff.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00:

And another great example that I think about is Rob Jones.

SPEAKER_03:

Mm-hmm. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00:

Like that guy got his legs blown off in Afghanistan. He stepped on an IED. And he I actually saw a video of him, that's why he came to my mind. I think it's today. It's today or yesterday, but where he said that the thing you can always control is your attitude. And just like what you were saying, like even in those times where life seems like it's falling apart, there's something good that you can find. Even when I was sick, I had that same experience.

SPEAKER_02:

Like no matter how hard it is.

SPEAKER_00:

In fertility. We're going through it right now.

SPEAKER_02:

Right.

SPEAKER_00:

And there's good things that have come from it. Like we have gotten stronger together. Um, I feel like we rely on each other more.

SPEAKER_02:

That's like one of my favorite things. Is I know we're gonna be so happy, obviously, when we can have a kid, but I know it's gonna be so sad when it's not just the two of us anymore. And so trying to soak up these times of like, this is so awesome. We can just go on a trip whenever we want, and we like we are just able to do all these things and have these memories, just the two of us, it's still really special.

SPEAKER_00:

It is really special. Like, that's a huge blessing.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah, I'm grateful.

SPEAKER_00:

But I can't wait for a little kiddo.

SPEAKER_02:

Right, that's gonna be fun.

SPEAKER_00:

Be fun, yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

So, anyways, I know that was kind of a side thing, but I just wanted to emphasize like it really does pertain to life. Yeah, like there's always something in your control. And I don't know what you said about that.

SPEAKER_00:

And it it helps support my idea that running's the best metaphor for life.

SPEAKER_02:

That's true. So put that on a shirt.

SPEAKER_00:

Running's the best metaphor for life. Yeah, it'd have to look cool.

SPEAKER_02:

We'll make it look cool.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, I don't want to just text.

SPEAKER_02:

Okay. We'll get it to the graphic designer.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah. Whoever's on the phone.

SPEAKER_00:

I don't know. Someone. Anyways. Thank you for coming on. I really appreciate your insights and just having someone to chat to.

SPEAKER_02:

Well, uh happy to be here, as always, especially in our new comfy chairs.

SPEAKER_00:

I know. Yeah. These are not.

SPEAKER_02:

Except for you, you look so uncomfortable because I think you're tall.

SPEAKER_00:

I think I'm a little too big for the chair, but But I have it like a little cocoon. Yeah, you look like you're very cozy and comfortable.

SPEAKER_02:

Yes, I am.

SPEAKER_00:

Hey, listen, that's this chair is out of my control. You know, too big for the chair.

SPEAKER_02:

But I'm super comfy.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, and I'm just focusing on what I can control. This podcast. Make it go a little bit too longer than it should.

SPEAKER_02:

Sorry.

SPEAKER_00:

No, that's just me. I'm controlling that.

SPEAKER_02:

Great.

SPEAKER_00:

You can say whatever you want. You know how much I love you. And um, the listeners, thank you so much for listening today. Really appreciate it. Um, you guys are the heartbeat of the show, and without you, there would be no getting after it podcast. So thank you for listening. If it helped you at all, please leave a rating and like, comment, share it, all that fun stuff. It helps me. I enjoy seeing it, and um, yeah, I appreciate you guys. So happy Thanksgiving.

SPEAKER_02:

Happy Thanksgiving.

SPEAKER_00:

It's coming up, and uh as always, my friends, keep getting after it.