Getting After It

158 - Stuck But Not Broken - How to Escape Mental Ruts

• Brett Rossell • Season 5 • Episode 158

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Everyone hits a wall. This episode is about what to do when you do.

When your mind feels heavy. When motivation fades. When you’re not sure what the next step is, or if you’re even on the right path.

I talk about the difference between a bad day and a full-on rut. I share what’s helped me in the past, from movement to mindset to faith. And I walk through a time I almost gave up on this podcast.

If you’ve felt stuck lately, this one’s for you.
 No fluff. Just tools, real stories, and a reminder:

You’re not broken.
You’re just stuck.
And you can get unstuck.

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I hope today’s episode sparked something within you to pursue your dreams and unlock your true potential. If you found value in it, consider sharing it with someone who might need that same push.

Getting After It is for those who. want to silence their self-doubt. Refuse to be owned by comfort. Understand their limits are man-made and breakable. We live in a time of constant comparison. Social media drowns us in highlight reels and overnight success stories. But what most people don’t see is the grit behind it all. The reps. The quiet mornings. The sacrifices. The failures.

You are just getting started. Keep Getting After It. 

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SPEAKER_00:

Welcome back to the Getting After It Podcast, my friends. Thank you for tuning in. I always appreciate you guys listening. It's the reason that uh I keep doing this thing. So it means a lot. And I was thinking about today's episode. As you know, I talk about how this podcast, I wish it was um, in a sense, it's a compilation of lessons I wish I would have learned when I was younger, so I could pass them on to my younger self. Or really, it's just like now lessons I'm learning that help me make progress in my life, that help me keep getting after it. And one thing that I have faced, and I believe many others face, that's one interesting thing about us being human beings, is that we all share some similar experiences in our lives. And one thing I know many of us go through are ruts, mental ruts that we get ourselves into. You know, it's it's not a bad day, it's a very different feeling. And what I mean by that is a bad day passes. Like you'll wake up the next day, maybe you'll feel like you got over whatever was keeping you in a bad mood the day before. But a rut is something completely different. The fog stays on those types of days. Um, you know, it's it's almost like you're in a car, you're stuck in the mud, and you're flooring the gas pedal, but you're stuck in the mud. The tires aren't they're not getting you anywhere, they're just spinning in the mud, getting you further and further down into this hole. That's how a mental rut acts sometimes is it feels like an inescapable pit. But it's not. It's there are things that we can do to get ourselves ahead of that. And I'm I'm not gonna say things like a quick walk out in nature will get you out of it, but um, you know, it's important to recognize when motivation dips, to use that consistency that you've built or the habits that you've built to get back onto the horse, so to speak. Like you want to try again. That's a whole part of getting after. If you listen to last week's episode, that's basically what I said is getting after is a refusal to quit. And mental ruts are gonna happen to us all the time. Like they they happened, happened to me when I was on a cruise and I came off, and I'm like, okay, I gotta start training again. Getting back into training after nine days of cruising is pretty tough. I trained on the boat, but it's nowhere near where I wanted it to be. So it was pretty difficult. But I'm but I got through it. And I want to talk about some things that I've done to kind of help get you out of those things. Um, but you know, if you're feeling physically stuck, mentally, spiritually stuck, let's break the rut. And let's let's keep getting after it. So let's jump into it. Um, I want to talk about the anatomy of a rut. What does that mean? Well, let's define what it is in the first place. And like I said, it's not just a bad day, it's when that bad day lingers and you lose your clarity, your energy drops, your motivation is close to gone, and you start questioning things that you never really used to question about yourself, about your abilities, uh, or just about like, is this even working? Like, is this even worth my time if I'm trying so hard to accomplish a goal, but I can't move the needle in any direction? Like, it doesn't feel like I'm making any progress. Definitely doesn't feel like I'm um, you know, getting one step closer to the goal, which is like, to be fair, that's what I talk about all the time, right? It's like you just never stop, you never quit. But it's in those moments where you feel like you're stuck, where it's like those are the easiest times to quit. And um, it can show up unexpectedly. Like, a quick story from me when I started this podcast, I don't know why, but I was under the impression that when I got to a year, my podcast would have blown up. And it's because like I fell into the idea of like, oh yeah, well, you know, most people quit after 10 episodes, 20 episodes. Podcasts will quit, but I'm gonna keep going. The thing is, is that you have to reach an audience, right? And I was nowhere near blowing up, and I still am not, which is fine. Like, I don't do it for fame, I don't do it for recognition or anything like that. I do it basically for myself, it's selfish. But I'm always trying to learn, I'm always trying to improve, and that helps me in my day-to-day life, but I have to attribute it to the podcast in some degree. But I wanted to quit because I was like, man, I had these high expectations for myself, and it was really disheartening when I got to a year and didn't feel like I really got the results I was looking for or hoping and expecting. And maybe, yes, you could say my expectations were too high, but looking back now, like I at the time I felt like I was stuck. Like I was like, well, should I change my content? Should I change the name? Is it the name? Um, listen to the last episode, you'll know I'm not gonna change the name. And I questioned like if I was even a good podcaster, which I I have a lot of room to improve still, but I'm better now than I was then, and so maybe that could have been something. I wasn't great at at speaking in front of a camera. It was kind of awkward for me in the first few episodes. Like, why would I want to share my thoughts? Does anyone even want to listen to Brett's thoughts? Probably not, but I'm doing it anyway. I enjoy doing this. And I just had to remember why I started in the first place. When I was in that that moment where it's like I was doing it for a year, I didn't get anything I expected out of the results I wanted. And I had an honest conversation with myself. I was like, do should I keep this going or should I quit? Should I throw in the towel? And I remember when I initially started this podcast, I told myself that one, these are lessons that I wish I would have known when I was younger. And so because of that, I hope that it helps at least one person. And if only, you know, if a handful of my episodes actually help someone, I will consider that a win. I'll consider it a success. The other reason I started this was also fairly simple, but I told myself, hey, I'm not gonna stop for 10 years, I'm gonna do this for at least 10 years and see what happens because of it. That's a long commitment, but I remembered those two things when I started. I said, Well, I I want to help people, I want them to take some of the advice that I've learned and I've heard from other people, and I want to give it to you. And I hope that it helps in some degree, but again, I'm also committed to seeing this out, to playing it out. And if after 10 years, if I don't see the results that I want and I'm nowhere near where I think I should be, or I'm not helping as many people as I would hope, then maybe I can throw in the towel and say I gave it a good run. That's 10 years of my life, and maybe I'll have different priorities at the time. But the way that I see it is after 10 years, I will have fully refined my voice. I will have figured out exactly what I need to do to have a successful podcast episode, to help people, to give you guys better content, um, and to build the business of getting after it in the in the process of doing it. And I imagine at the end, not the end, because I don't see an ending after 10 years, but I imagine in 10 years, there's a full-on community built of people who are looking to improve, to help one another improve, who are bettering themselves every day and helping others along the way. That's the goal for this thing. But it only happens if I'm consistent, if I get through those ruts when they they come up. Because now I see it as a blessing that it didn't blow up. Because at the time my my content was not as in-depth as it is now, and uh I didn't really know what I was doing, and I'm I'm starting to figure out my flow, my my cadence, the things that I I do there. But a lot of the times um these ruts can happen, and it can feel like you have 12 tabs open in your brain and you don't know which one to choose, right? You have so many things that you could be doing, but you feel paralyzed by the decision-making process. The decision fatigue is a real thing, which is also something that I've had to deal with in my life, not just with the podcast, but with other things. Like uh when I decided to move to Arizona to start swallow with my brothers, that was a big decision. I could have stayed in Idaho, could have gone to school there and did all these things, but um, it's in those moments where like I feel like there's a lot that's being asked of me to make these big decisions, and so I become a little bit paralyzed by that. I've gotten better um as time's gone on, but like it's been crippling at times in my life, and that can lead to a rut where you don't know what decision to make, so you're just kind of in a limbo phase where you're trying to decide, but you don't have the mental capacity to do it for for some reason, and that could just be because you're stressed in other other wow, you're stressed in other areas of your life, and that's fine, that's that's what happens. Like the life is busy, it is stressful, but we are in control of what we decide to focus on. We are in control of our next step, our next action, which is what I want to talk about next, because a bad day passes, but a rut lingers, and that's how you know you're in it. But when you identify that you're in one, how do you get out of it? And honestly, when I'm stuck, the best thing for me to do is to move. And that doesn't just mean fitness, that means literally get up, do something. Like it doesn't matter if it's perfect, it doesn't matter if it's it's fast, I just need to get going. Um, that means I might go on a run, I might go to the gym and lift, I might clean my room or clean the kitchen or go on a walk, like do push-ups, something. I don't care what it is, but movement breaks that mental freeze. And I think fitness is a big um, it's a large contributor to me being able to focus on what the next step for me should be. And I haven't really uh talked about this too much on the podcast, but it is it's relevant and I think it's important. But when I go to the gym or when I go on a run, I am so focused on the movements I'm doing. I'm so focused on sometimes the pain that my legs are feeling, or focused on my technique, whatever it is. I am so present in those moments that I'm not thinking about whatever the rut I might get have gotten myself into is. I'm not thinking about the rut. I'm thinking about the moment I'm in. And that produces almost like a cushion for me to not think about what's bothering me, what is is plaguing my mind with all these different thoughts, or um, you know, what could go wrong, what could be bad. All those thoughts go away, right? I'm focused on where I'm at. And when I have that opportunity, and when I'm able to reach that level of just being present, I'm able to go back to whatever the thing is that's bothering me and think of like look at it through a different lens. And the lens is now like a little bit fresher of a mind because I haven't been thinking about this thing for the past hour and a half or so. Um, and so it gives me a different lens to look at the problem through, just through a fresh set of eyes. I feel like it's always a good reset for me, and I I know it can do the same for you. Like, movement is one of the best things that you can do to help you feel unstuck now. Give it a shot. I'm telling you, it works. But I also want to talk about something else that helps me get out of ruts. It's God. And God literally, I felt him many times in my life be there in my hardest moments. And sometimes a rut is a very difficult moment when you're not making progress, when you feel like you're stagnant stagnant, and that's a hard thing on its own. But I want to make something very clear. God is always going to listen to what I ask. And I I know that that's true. I've felt that before. Prayer works. And when I get on my knees and I pray to my heavenly father, and I ask him for strength, and I ask him to support me during whatever this is, to help guide my mind on what I should be doing, to get out of whatever rut I'm in, or whatever situation I might be in, or I might even just be asking him to help me, like just to be there with me and let me feel of the spirit. A lot of the times, praying to God, he will give you answers on what you should do next. If you haven't done it, you might not believe me, but if you've prayed, if you've really asked God for help and you've received that, then you understand what I'm talking about. He will listen to anyone. That's the the great thing about a loving God is he loves his children and he wants to listen to them. And not to put Ali on the spot here, but the way she talks about her dad. Um her dad, obviously. God does strengthen you. He strengthened me many times in my darkest parts of my life. Like when I was sick, he was there along the entire way. And one thing that praying to God does for me is give me hope. Hope that I'll get out of whatever situation I'm in, that I will become better, that I will feel strengthened, that I can rely on other people, and that's the thing too. Other people might be answers to your prayers. You have to let them in, though. People want to help you, just like God does. But sometimes God can only do so much, and you have to accept his help in whatever way that might be. Could be another person, and just because it's not some grand gesture doesn't mean it's not from God. So just remember that. But I think of a rut as some sort of a you could say like a spiritual flu, if you want to call it that. Like you need to rest, you need to feed your body well, you need to have nutrients, and you need connection to others, and you need connection to God. And so that will get you out of a rut. Taking care of yourself, being with other people, and praying. Try that. I I know it works. I've had too many experiences to be able to write that off and say, nope, it doesn't work. But a little square a little scripture and sweat, that'll get you a long way. Scripture and sweat. Get it done. I like that. Maybe I'll put that on the shirt. Scripture and sweat, getting after it. God sustains, but you got to do the work. Now, one thing I also want to note with ruts is that you shouldn't let your mind get to decide what shots are called. Uh, one of the biggest things I've learned is your mind will lie to you. Like it's really good at it. Um, it'll tell you to skip a workout because, oh man, you're tired. Your body needs rest. You should rest. And then you skip a workout, you listen to your mind. Or you're at work and uh your boss says, Hey, I need this done by five, and it's three o'clock, and your body or your mind says, Well, he should have told it me earlier uh to get it done, but now I don't have the time, so I guess I'll do my best. No, like you can get it done. You can you can tell your mind um that you don't have to listen to it. Like when you move in spite of how you feel, you take back control of your own life. And one thing that you can do is just start small. Like, wake up in the morning, make your bed, uh, go out the door with a good attitude, but do something tiny that reminds your brain that you you have control, it's not gonna tell you things to do, and you have to listen to it all the time. Sometimes you should listen because your brain should give you some good ideas every now and then, but I'm telling you, one of the best things that you could do is just focus on what you can control. That's that's a stoic principle, that is a stoic teaching, but it's also talked about by so many others, like my own faith. There's there's leaders in my church who talk about focusing on what you can control, what you can respond to, and trying not to worry about what happens, right? Like that is such a powerful thing that we can all take into our lives and we can all apply it, we can all live by those principles. It's very important. Um, but that's the thing, is there will come times, there's been times in my life, ultra-marathoning is a great example, I think, of this, but where your brain tells you you're done, you want to quit. And I think that's why I enjoy ultra marathoning as much as I do, is because multiple times during a race or multiple times during a long run, my brain will always tell me that I'm done. It'll always say, Hey, this is too much. You've done good work today. Let's wrap things up. You're tired. And I don't listen to that voice. I try not to, especially if it if I'm in a race, I will give that voice little to no attention. Unless I am in pain or I like something is wrong, I will listen. But for the most part, it is just comfort asking me to stop. It doesn't want my body to go through all these difficult pursuits. It doesn't want me to go and try and run a 50-mile race with my brother in April. But there's times when you have to tell your mind, hey, this is what we're doing. I don't care how you feel, this is what we're doing, this is what we said we're gonna do. And you hold that promise to yourself. That's another great way to get out of ruts, is keep yourself accountable. Make a promise to yourself and keep yourself accountable. Write it down. I think journaling is a great exercise where you can write down your thoughts and go back to them, think about how you were uh viewing whatever situation you're in, and have that reminder of okay, yes, like this is the plan. This is what I'm supposed to be doing. Write down your goals, hold yourself accountable to them, and set deadlines for when you want to reach them. And if you don't reach it by a certain deadline, but you gave it your all, readjust. That's fine. Just don't quit. That's not allowed. You're getting after it, you're not a quitter. And if you feel stuck right now, this next part's kind of for you, but I want you to picture someone walking uphill with a weighted vest. Okay, every single step feels hard. Just like how you right now might be feeling like every single step is difficult. But that person hiking up a hill is still going. Even if it's slow, it does not matter how fast it takes you to get out of a rut. That person is still moving, but they're making small incremental progress. And that could be you in a rut. That hill, it might be steep, it might look like there's no way that you can get to the top, especially when you feel that weight on you. Each step is a chore on its own. But when you get to the top, you'll recognize that that was just a rut. I can get through it. And no matter what, even if you're just taking a step every minute, you're still climbing. It might be slow. People might not consider that climbing, they might consider it bird watching, but you still move, you still get after it. You push yourself. You cannot quit. Life is too short to quit on things that you know could benefit you. Life's too quit, or wow. Having a hard time with words today, guys. I guess that's what a cruise does to you. But life is too short to quit on your goals. Life is too short to quit on your aspirations, on the things that you want to try. Don't give up. It's not worth it. The price of giving up is not worth the pain of enduring. Ruts are real, but they do not have to define us. And you're allowed to feel stuck. That's part of life, but you're not allowed to stay there. And like I've mentioned before, the point of getting after it is not to be perfect. It's to keep going. It's to keep showing up. It's to keep learning and to keep trying, even if it's messy. That's the point of getting after it. So you're in a challenge right now. You're in a rut. Here's what I want you to do. Identify it. Give it a name. And then act. Small, simple. But now, like start today. Run a mile, clean out your car, do whatever you gotta do to get something moving, to get your body moving, pray. Whatever it is, do it. I appreciate you guys listening to this episode. Uh it's coming out Monday, so if you're in a little Monday rut, hopefully this gets you out of it. But as always, I really appreciate you guys listening. I appreciate you guys rating the show on Spotify and Apple Podcasts. Um, that goes a long way. So thank you so much. Uh and until next episode, everybody. Keep getting after it. Thanks, guys.