Getting After It

140 - Courtney Paige - Overcoming Fear, Hate, and Self-Doubt

• Brett Rossell • Season 4 • Episode 140

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I had the chance to sit down with Courtney—the voice behind the phrase “I’m fat and I’m working on it”—and what followed was one of the most real, raw, and human conversations I’ve ever had on this podcast.

She didn’t set out to go viral. She set out to change her life.

In this episode, Courtney shares how one painful moment at the gym sparked a global response—and what it taught her about shame, resilience, and the power of vulnerability. We talk about the anxiety of being a beginner, the toxic side of fitness culture, and how she learned to show up for herself even on the days she wanted to disappear.

We also cover the mental game behind discipline, how social media helped (and hurt) her progress, and why she refuses to let the word “fat” be used as an insult anymore.

This conversation isn’t about a six-pack. It’s about the courage it takes to keep going when no one’s cheering, and the surprising beauty in showing up—imperfect, unsure, and absolutely committed to getting better.

Key Takeaways:

  • Baby steps still count. Progress isn’t about perfection—it’s about continuing, even when it’s uncomfortable.
  • Words lose their power when you take ownership. Calling herself “fat” became a way for Courtney to reclaim her story and disarm shame.
  • No one is watching as closely as you think. Most people in the gym are too busy working on themselves to judge anyone else.

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I hope today’s episode sparked something within you to pursue your dreams and unlock your true potential. If you found value in it, consider sharing it with someone who might need that same push.

Getting After It is for those who. want to silence their self-doubt. Refuse to be owned by comfort. Understand their limits are man-made and breakable. We live in a time of constant comparison. Social media drowns us in highlight reels and overnight success stories. But what most people don’t see is the grit behind it all. The reps. The quiet mornings. The sacrifices. The failures.

You are just getting started. 

Keep Getting After It. 

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Brett:

I'm excited to chat with you today, just because I saw your post and, honestly, it caught me off guard, because I think your first, like the first one of the first thing you said was like I can't believe that this happens and I was like I thought you know, that's like an 80s high school bully kind of thing and I was like that is so sad, um no yeah.

Brett:

It made me sad because, like you're, you're talking about all the things that I love, which is about progression and that kind of thing, and um, getting better, like the 1%, better every day. As as cliche as that is, it's a really important principle, um, but yeah, I mean, I think it's really inspiring what you're doing with, with courts corner and you showing your journey, um, because it's it's vulnerable, it's it's a hard thing to do.

Courtney:

A hundred percent.

Brett:

So I guess it might make sense to just kick it off with asking you how you got started with, with one, your fitness journey and deciding to make a change and that kind of thing, and what led to that.

Courtney:

Yeah for sure. So I feel like my whole entire adult life I've just kind of been on and off with my fitness journey. I feel like I would always start off super strong and consistent in dieting and it would go super great. And then life would happen and I would fall off and I feel like I was in this mindset where it was all or nothing. So for me it was, you know, I would fall off and then I wouldn't go back for a couple of weeks because you know, I'm like, oh, I'm going to start next week or I'm going to start the week after. You know, whatever that would look like.

Courtney:

And honestly, I feel like I was tired of giving the excuses for myself and I was just tired of, you know, not being able to lose weight that I've gained over the years. And so this last time I told myself it was gonna be the last time, I was gonna start. And so far we've been progressing and doing, you know well, and at the end of the day, like I want to live a healthy lifestyle and not try to live by that like all or nothing mindset, you know so yeah, lifestyle and not trying to live by that like all or nothing mindset, you know.

Brett:

So, yeah, which I think is huge, like the the balance piece. Um, I think balance and fitness is kind of an interesting one, because there are people who literally don't have it, and like David Goggins I talk about him all the time Um, he literally says, you know, he's not a balanced person and he won't consider himself balanced, but, um, but his goals are very different than most people's. I think just what you said trying to live a healthy lifestyle and all that kind of thing, because I've been in the same boat before. I've talked about it before on this podcast, but I used to be sick myself. I was around 135 pounds and I'm 6'3", so it's not really great. Oh, myself I was like around 135 pounds, um, and I'm six three, so it's not really great yeah.

Brett:

And I um had some hormone issues. Like I have a tumor in my pituitary gland, um, which is benign, so no cancer, yeah, very good. Um. But, like I, I definitely have struggled with with eating myself, um, all throughout my life. You know, it was kind of like what you said, like all in, or you know what, I'm just going to let life happen and do whatever.

Brett:

And, um, I recognize in myself I was like fluctuating all the time, like I would be really good, I'd be disciplined, and then the next couple of days I would be like, oh, you know what I've earned this, and then throw it all away in a sense. And so I'm working on that myself too, right, and it's so important. But, yeah, I kind of want to explore, like the self-talk that you had at the beginning of the journey, because that's something I feel like many people struggle with, at least because it's not going to happen overnight, it's, it's definitely a, it is a journey, like it's called a journey for a reason. So what were some of the things? Like you would, you would tell yourself to either stay motivated to keep the goal in sight, or, when things got tough, like what would you tell yourself?

Courtney:

Yeah, I think in the beginning, I think before I started this last journey, I would say, is, you know, I always push myself too far, right, I made goals that were really unattainable for myself. So this time around I've been saying this nonstop to my husband and anyone who will listen. But you know, baby steps are still steps. So just creating like small, attainable goals for myself, and then, you know, when I do that, I can build on those habits and then continue building them. So for me it's just really like focusing on the small things and then, once I feel comfortable with that, it's like, oh, hey, I can do more than that, and then continuing to grow from there. And for me it's like, okay, I'm obviously like like doing well with my fitness, my diet, things like that, and then continuing to grow in that aspect and then building, like I said, on those habits. And for me I think it's remaining disciplined but also listening to my body and just really giving myself that grace.

Courtney:

So last week I was super sick.

Courtney:

I was like quite literally dying and I was getting so hard on myself because I was like I have to go to the gym, I have to get my steps in, and I was like, okay, like I went home early from work because my boss was like you need to go home, like you're not well.

Courtney:

And that day I was like, okay, clearly I'm not okay, like I just need to sleep, and I slept all day and I had like the immediate mindset of being like okay, like now you have to do work extra hard the next day, or something like that.

Courtney:

And I was like, no, like that's not the mindset we're going to have this time. We're going to really focus on, you know, giving ourselves grace and then, when we're feeling better, we can get those extra steps in or we can just continue to hit our goals the way we're supposed to, without feeling like we have to make up for something or, you know, punish ourselves because we missed a couple of days or whatever it is. So I'm really glad that I'm moving out of that mindset and into a mindset where, you know, I'm allowed to be disciplined and push myself, especially on the days where I don't want to do something just because I don't want to do them, but, you know, giving myself that grace and rest when I truly do need it. So I think that big mindset change has been what's pushed me and motivated me more this time than any time before.

Brett:

I love that and you're speaking my language, like that's something I actually I've struggled with up until the past like couple years. Actually I've struggled with up until the past like couple years I married my wife and like somehow we got talking about our own internal voices, like either at the gym or just like the way that we talk to ourselves. And I was in the same boat, like, and there would be days when I was sick and I would just beat myself up Like I'd be, like you're such a loser, like man, like you're going to have to still do something, like get in the gym, it doesn't matter. And it was just an unhealthy relationship with. I needed to find some way to feel proud of the work that I did, even when I was like deathly ill and, um, maybe not deathly ill, maybe that's a stretch, but like when I was sick and like in bed, like, like you've said, um, like the most recent story, like last year I was, I was training for an ultra marathon I was going to run in in, uh, monticello, utah, and three, three days before I got like the flu or something like that and I couldn't keep any food down Um, I was in bed for two days and the day before the race I was like I'm still going to do it, like I told myself I was going to sign up for this thing.

Brett:

And my parents flew up from Arizona and I was like I got to do this thing and my wife's like you're dumb, like that's the dumbest thing I've ever heard, like you just spent two days in bed. You haven't had any food. You're going to run 31 miles in the mountains Not a good idea idea. And it's just like you have to be kind of realistic with yourself at some point and be like you know what that's right. Um, and it goes back to that word journey like this is something that's it's not gonna like change overnight if I just give up and I wouldn't even consider giving up because it's um, you know, life happens like you said at the beginning and it's just it's so important to have that self-talk that's. That's motivating, but not like, uh, what's the word? Discouraging, I guess.

Courtney:

Right yeah so you can't be mean to yourself. It's you know we're. We're past that right, like we're not going to be our own bully at the end of the day and like we can't do that.

Brett:

Yeah, no way, it doesn't work. Like, um, the thing that my wife told me during that time was like, hey, you have to be your own biggest cheerleader. And I'm like you know what that's. That's great advice, Um, because there's going to be times when you know you don't have motivation, when you have to coach yourself, when you're like, hey, this is this is going to be good for you, or you know what this isn't going to be good for you. Let's take a step back, Um, and just being realistic with it. Um, so I love that, but so what? What did, um your beginning look like, Like, did you go find resources? Did you look up like a coach? Or just like, sign up for the gym? You're like okay, this is it. Um, kind of walk me through that a little bit.

Courtney:

Yeah, so I have been. I don't know if you know her, but Whitney Simmons has been. She's a fitness influencer, I would say, but I've been like obsessed with her since like 2017. So I feel like that has been like my consistent, like go-to person when like I need like a new workout routine, or like I just look up her Instagram, her YouTube, whatever. Recently, she came out with like a fitness app that you that has different programs on it and it'll send you notifications to like help motivate you, things like that. So that's what I've been using this time around to really help like push me and keep me on track. It's super customizable things. I'm not even trying to sell this app right now, but anyways you can sell it all you want.

Courtney:

I mean, yeah, but I absolutely love it. But I feel like that is great because it also shows like how to do the exercises Right. So if it has you doing dumbbell chest presses, it's going to show you like the exact form you should be using and where your elbow should be, and it literally has a video playing so you can watch it and like focus on it. So I feel like that has helped with my gym anxiety too, especially like in the beginning when I was first going to the gym.

Courtney:

I feel like it's anxiety ridding right, like if you don't know how to use the machines or you don't want to look silly and like mess up on an exercise because you're just afraid people are watching you, which half the time they're not afraid people are watching you, which half the time they're not. But I just feel like it helps. You know you feel more confident in your journey and like your fitness to have that as a background. But I feel like that was just a big motivator for me and just having a plan every week and just knowing what I'm going to the gym, knowing what I'm going to do, and just having a set plan going to the gym, knowing what I'm going to do and just having a set plan I feel like was really helpful.

Brett:

Um but yeah, no, that's awesome and like I, uh, I actually love the fact that there are influencers out there. Like there's some really good ones. There's also some ones that are kind of just goofy, but you know, that's. That's the state of the um industry, I guess. But but there's always going to be those guys. But like there are some ones that like motivate me, keep me going, and like I don't know if you've heard of Nick Bear or any of those guys.

Brett:

I don't think so, but they own a company called Bear Performance Nutrition and they're all about like the hybrid athlete is what they call, so it's like half endurance, half bodybuilder, weightlifting kind of thing. Um, and I found that and I was like I'm just going to follow, like what they're doing, and so that helped me a lot during my um journey, from like just trying to get better myself. But, um, instead of comparing yourself to them, it's more like you use them as inspiration, because I'm sure you've heard the term comparison is the thief of joy.

Courtney:

Yeah, I tell that to my husband all the time.

Brett:

Yeah, it really is like it's a cliche again, but it is true, it's not fair to yourself to compare yourself to someone else who's been doing it for years and you're just starting out, who's been doing it for years and you know, you're just starting out. Um, there's this amazing runner that I I just I follow and the things that he does is insane. His name's Truett Haynes, um, but he did like 10,000 pull-ups. He broke the record this year and he got like 10,001 pull-ups in 24 hours. Um, and then like he just does random things. Like he ran the Boston marathon in jeans and got a two hour and 36 marathon and like just random stuff. And I was like how is this guy doing it? Like that's insane. And then he posted a video or a picture where he's like I've been running half marathon since I was six years old and I'm like, oh, that makes a lot of sense. Like I can't compare myself to that.

Brett:

So, yeah, yeah, uh. So I mean, like that's one thing that you do which I am very impressed by is like you document your journey. You talk about it openly on social media, which can be very vulnerable, um, and social media is a great place for comparison. So how do you deal with that? Like recognizing you know you're inspiring other people, but like you can't look at others and be like dang it, like I'm not there yet.

Courtney:

Yeah, so I think I didn't start on social media to like necessarily inspire people. It was just kind of to like share my journey and kind of more, so hold myself accountable. And then, you know, it's kind of grown into that inspiration thing which is absolutely nuts to me. I just still can't wrap my head around it some days. But yeah, it's just, it's hard, right, because you know, I think it's all about like who you follow, though, too Right, and the kind of mindset that they have.

Courtney:

Yeah, so I think I've really worked on one surrounding myself personally with people that are going to motivate me and support me and just push me towards all the right things.

Courtney:

But then, like the people that I follow on social media, like I want to post the people that are talking about wanting to get fit, for all the right reasons, right, I don't want to follow people that are like, oh, I'm going to get fit, to be hot and like I mean like obviously we all want to be hot, but I mean you know, it's just, I want to be fit, to be healthy and I think just that mindset, for once, is just pushed me to not compare myself to others, because my journey is my own and we all have invisible things that we can't all necessarily see. So you know that could be hindering why we're not losing weight. Or you know, maybe someone's super skinny because they can't gain weight due to whatever it is. You know, you never know what's going on with other people and I think I finally hit that point where I can realize that and no one's journey is going to look the same, and I love comparing stories and having similarities, but I also want people to know that their journey is their own.

Courtney:

So if they're not losing weight the same as their best friend who's doing the same exact workout, eating the same exact thing that's okay. Like that is okay and that's fine. And I think just being open-minded about that stuff and just owning the fact that it is your journey and making it your own thing is so important, and I think people lose sight in that often. So, absolutely yeah, they really do. Like I've done it so many times.

Brett:

So I think people do sit in that often. So, absolutely, yeah, they really do. Like I've done it so many times. So I'm I'm speaking from my own experience here but, um, I remember when I was starting my own, like I wanted to kind of like what you were saying, like get hot, I wanted to get all the muscles in the gym and like get the biceps and look like Arnold and all that kind of stuff. And um, I remember I was, I was watching this influencer and um, he was like, yeah, you know, the way that I cut is I work out in the gym, um, for like two hours a day and I'll eat about 1500 calories, and usually that's that puts me in like a 500 calorie deficit for the day or whatever.

Brett:

And then he doesn't add on the exercise, um, he doesn't incorporate that into his deficit. And um, I remember thinking that and I was like that's crazy. Um, and so I tried it once and I just I felt terrible because I had no energy, um, and it was all during COVID, so like I had all the time to really work out and like do all that kind of stuff. Yeah, but I just felt so bad and I was like man, what is going on?

Brett:

And then I got online and I found this website called total daily and energy expenditure calculator. It's like the whole thing you know helps you calculate your killer intake and deficit that you need, and all that stuff. So I type in all my stats and it's like, okay, well, if you want a 500 calorie deficit, you have, and all that stuff. So I type in all my stats and it's like, okay, well, if you want a 500 calorie deficit, you have to eat like 2,100 calories a day. And I was like okay, so 600 more than this guy Turns out, the guy's five, five and, like I said, I'm six, three, and so it's like every body is different and you can't, like you can listen to the advice that they have, but you shouldn't take it for face value, like you shouldn't be like okay, well, this guy's doing it, this is going to work for me, um, so I, I love that point. Like everybody is different and you should treat it as such.

Courtney:

Yeah, a hundred percent.

Brett:

Yeah, I mean, I kind of want to hear a little bit more about, like the, the gym anxiety, if you don't mind, because that's something I know many people face, um, most recently me anxiety, if you don't mind, because that's something I know many people face, most recently me, like I've been trying to do more mobility work and I don't know if you've done mobility stuff, but it's like it's like the most baby exercises like, and you feel like you're hard.

Brett:

They're hard, yeah, and it's like you can't really put weight on it and it's just, it's tough, but like I kind of get nervous, like I like, okay, well, I've been in the gym for a long time, like a few years, and now I'm doing these little exercises and I'm like man, I I look like a grandma, but, um, it's like whatever, you know, it's uh, I I'm trying to work on that myself, but um, how'd you overcome that? Like, what were some of the things that you told yourself or or experienced?

Courtney:

Yeah, so for me, I definitely am very big on like, so I'm like a big watcher, so like, unfortunately, I am the person that is watching you in the gym, but not to judge you, I promise. It's literally to see, like how you're using that machine, like what your form looks like, like that is like if I see someone and I'm like they're ripped, they have a lot of muscles or they're in like good shape, like I'm going to typically look at them and like compare them to, like what I've seen. But then I'm also going home and looking at YouTube and like typing in this machine that I want to use and just looking that up. And I think my anxiety, just like forced me to do all these things. So that one, I felt comfortable and confident when I went into the gym and like I am like an introverted, extroverted person, like I'm both and I don't have a problem going up to somebody and talking to them, but, like when it comes to something I'm insecure about, absolutely not. So you will not catch me dead going up to somebody at the gym and being like hey, can you show me how to use this machine? But I totally would do that now in my journey, like I'm not afraid to do that now, but I would say in the beginning that was super hard for me but realistically it was just, you know, watching other people use machines, looking it up online, even like in the gym. Sometimes I would look it up on YouTube or, like I said, the app I use now is really great with how to use machines.

Courtney:

But I think, too, it's just again like not comparing yourself. Like, at the end of the day, like most people are in the gym to better themselves, they're worrying about what they're doing. They're not worrying about what you're doing and you just have to keep that mindset. Like it's very rare that anyone is going to be in there judging you for not lifting 60 pounds, like if they're lifting 60 and you're only lifting 10, like they're not going to judge you for that, like it's not what it's about. So I think just kind of like getting out of your head and just putting your head down and like getting through your workout is the most important thing, especially if you are feeling anxious about it. It's just, you know, sometimes like throwing a baseball cap on, throwing a hood on top of that and just kind of like having your blinders on. Basically, I think is super helpful too, cause I've definitely done that especially the days I don't want to be there. That's super helpful too.

Brett:

Yeah, no, I, I seriously love that, like education's huge Um, like if, if you learn how to use some of those things, if you learn how to do the techniques, that's the first step. And, like you said, if there's someone in there who's bench pressing, we'll say like 345 plates, because I see that all the time and I'm like that's insane. And I'm over there with just like 145 plate and I'm like I'm trying guys.

Brett:

I'll get up there, hopefully sometime, but again it's like they don't care and, um, I've actually like talked to some of those guys and they're like, hey, like nice work, like keep going, and that's what I love about like most of the the, the fitness community, and especially like your local gyms, like most people are very nice and they will help you with things. Um, they'll spot you, like that was always something I was nervous about. Asking is like hey, can you spot me on this thing? But people are like, yeah, sure, why not? Because they've been there before and they know how difficult it is.

Courtney:

Yes, yeah.

Courtney:

I feel, like the gym bros that I feel like that are all like you know they walk kind of like you know they own the place, like they are actually like great people to go to because they've been where you at. Like everyone has to start somewhere and I think that's something to remember too is like everyone that is at the gym has been where you're at. They they walked into the gym for the first time before Like they've it's not like they just were gym bros from day one, you know. So it's just remind, like reminding yourself that too, from day one you know. So it's just remind, like reminding yourself that too of you know it's everyone started somewhere.

Brett:

So A hundred percent, it's okay. This might be a rough analogy, but I'm going to go for it anyway. It's like, um, it's like a baby learning to walk, like, yeah, there's, if there's a baby, you know, at a family party or something and they take their first steps and fall down after a couple, everyone's going to be cheering for them. First steps and fall down after a couple, everyone's going to be cheering for them. They're not going to be like you suck at walking, Like come on, um, and it's the same with like anything.

Brett:

Really, I think it shows that you want to make a change and you want to, like you said, just have a healthier relationship with yourself and, um, just do something good for your body. And um, yeah, most of the time it's good. But unfortunately you had a very different experience and it's kind of the reason why I reached out, because I was baffled when I saw your video and it made me pretty sad. But if you don't mind, kind of just walking through what happened for the listeners who just don't know, and then we can keep going from there, if that's okay.

Courtney:

Yeah for sure. So of course I was going to the gym and of course it was on a day that I did not want to be there. I had had literally the most awful day at work. All I wanted to do was go home and rot on my couch and I decided to force myself to go to the gym because I knew I was going to feel better afterwards. You know, I'm starting this health journey again. It was, you know, really holding myself accountable again, like hey, do I not want to go to the gym because I don't feel good, or is it because I'm being lazy and I want to rot? So it's just really pushing myself. So I decided to push through it and it was leg day and I'm on the Smith machine and I'm doing hip thrusts and out of the corner of my eye I see some kids like snickering and I'm like there's literally no way that they're not laughing at me.

Courtney:

They're probably just laughing at each other, it's fine. So I continue doing my sets and I like resting between my sets and out of the corner of my eye again, I see one of these teenage boys and they kind of point at me and I see them make like hand gestures, making like a stomach on their stomach, and I was like, okay, that's really weird, and I'm pretty sure they're talking about me. And so I am like looking at them now and we made eye contact and they start laughing even more and I'm at the point where I'm like, okay, maybe if I just call them out they'll stop, it'll be fine. So I pull my headphone out and I say like, hey, can I help you, thinking you know they're going to be embarrassed that they like got caught. You know, like that's what I would be, you know. And one of them responds uh, no, we don't need anything from you, fatty Jeez. And I kind of like was so taken aback that that is actually what came out of their mouth. And I kind of looked around and there was a girl in this machine next to me and her and I made eye contact and she just looked away and I was like, oh my god. So she just heard that and like no one said anything, that was around and like I didn't say anything because I I just couldn't think of anything. I was just so taken aback that that had actually happened, because that's like from a movie. You know what I mean and that's I just I put my head down.

Courtney:

I literally finished that last set and I just did my last exercise in the gym. I like went to the opposite side of the gym, did that last thing because, even though I couldn't stand up for myself and say something to them, I knew at least I deserved to finish my workout, because I deserved to be there. But I think that's all I could do to keep myself from crying too, is just continue my workout. And I ran to my car and I cried and I made that video and I came home and I told my husband about it and I was like I'm not going to post it. You know, that's so embarrassing, you know, whatever. And he's like no, you should post that. Like people, like people need to hear that, you know. And so I posted it and I'm glad I did now, but I just, yeah, it was like I said it was out of a movie. I I had to do like a double take almost, because that's.

Brett:

That's horrible, right? Um, man, I mean, it shows a lot of strength from your side, though, because I think one like what you said you finished the workout, but, um, I just, yeah, that is baffling. Um, those kids are losers, like I'll say it and I know so many other people have have supported you and said the same thing but like they're losers, like the fact that they're out there and making fun of people who are trying to improve themselves, um just makes me sick. Like, right, it's so sad. Um, so yeah, and so you posted the video, and then, um, what happened from there?

Courtney:

posted the video and then, um, what happened from there? It blew up. Um, I, you know, started getting a lot of comments on it and just people sharing like similar experiences of what happened to them, which like breaks my heart. But I'm just so glad that they have someone they can talk to, at least now, about their experience. Um, then a couple fitness influencers reposted my video, which made it blow up even more, and I gained a lot of followers. That video is sitting at 4 million views right now. I think it's a little bit more than 4 million, but yeah, it's. I just like my inbox was flooded. My people found my Instagram, so that started getting flooded and it's just, it's been a very great experience.

Courtney:

I never thought being like me crying on the internet was ever going to blow up and like happen the way that it did. And I'm just I'm happy that me putting myself out there and being vulnerable has helped so many people and also has helped turn people's their perspective on right. Like there's so many people that are like I can't believe this happens, you know, and I think a lot of people are like, oh, you should have done this and like I would have done this. But in this situation. I feel like it's so different this, but in the situation I feel like it's so different.

Courtney:

But I think now, like looking back on it, like I'm glad that happened to me. One, because if I ever see that in the gym like now, I'm prepared. Now I know what to do and say, because I know it's not, this doesn't happen in a movie, this happens in real life. So you know, I'm just happy that at the end of the day, I'm happy that at the end of the day, I'm happy that it happened and, um, I did end up talking to the gym about it.

Courtney:

Um after multiple people told me I should, and those boys did get kicked out. They just had the free. I go to a planet fitness, so they just had the free membership. So they just got kicked out. So that was kind of a nice perk of it too. Um, just because, like at the end of the day, like I didn't want to be a snitch at the end of the day, but I also didn't want that happening to anybody else, because if that happened to me, like there's a lot of other people who are in bigger bodies that go to my gym and I don't want them to have the same experience that I did. So I was hoping that you know, talking to the gym about it would at least get rid of that problem.

Brett:

So yeah, yeah, I mean I. I'm also glad that you posted that video, just because I think it sheds light on, um, something that we don't talk about a lot because, like what we were saying at the beginning, like you always assume that people are just there with their heads down, just getting work in, and if you ask for someone to help you, like typically they will, um, but of course there's going to be some terrible people out there and whoever raised these kids, you know they're, they're probably I mean, I don't want to say not great, but I don't want to put assumptions out there but, like, obviously you didn't teach them how to act and, um, how to just be a kind person, and it's a sad thing, and so I think it's. It was a bold, not a bold thing, it was a brave thing for you to do, for sure, but taking that step, at least you know, helped. I don't know you said 4.5 million people see that.

Brett:

Yeah, that there is like an issue out there and, um, like, maybe, like what you said, um, it'll help people to be like, oh well, if I do see something like that, I'm going to say something, because I don't want someone to have to go into their car and make a video saying I don't know where else to go to say this, because I feel just broken inside, like I'm trying to get better and I'm getting discouraged the whole time. I think it's really inspirational on your part. But, yeah, the other thing I saw. So I saw that video and then the next day I jumped on TikTok and there were some influencers that I knew that talked. And then the next day I jumped on Tik TOK and there were some influencers that I knew that that talked about your story. Um, like, I think his name is Scotty fitness or something. He's the dude with a huge mustache. He makes mine look like a child's mustache. But, like some huge people were like you know what? Hey, like we got you on this. Um, what was that like?

Courtney:

know what, hey, like we got you on this. What was that like I so background story on that. So Scotty is Scotty K fitness. He ends up messaging me and I didn't see it at first because my notifications were blowing up, so he messaged my husband and he emailed me, and he messaged me on Instagram and he is trying to find out what gym I go to. And so him and my husband were talking and, long story short, he ended up paying for my gym membership for a year just to kind of like push me, to like keep hitting my goals and like. That was like I could cry thinking about it right now, cause that was so nice. Um, and then Dr Tommy oh, I'm going to butcher his name now, but Dr Tommy Martin, I think, is his name.

Courtney:

He also made a video with Scotty K Fitness and so did Liam, and they were just super helpful and offered to buy me things to help me reach my fitness goals and stuff. So, funny enough, I got like a hip thrust barbell pad, just kind of out of sight and because I feel like our gym never has one. And but yeah, it was just. It was a crazy response and they basically told people to come flood my DMs and my comments with just kind and so such thoughtful things and it made me realize that, like, what happened to me was a very rare thing and I want people to know that, if they follow me, if they watch my videos, if they listen to this podcast, that, like, the gym really is full of great people. They're really people that are going to be there to like work on themselves and you know work and you, it's just it's. The fitness world is full of great people. At the end of the day, and.

Courtney:

I never thought I'd be part of the fitness world because of the size that I am, but you know, I am fat and I'm working on it and it's just it's been a really great experience so far and I just am so thankful for the community that those influencers have brought and that just I've, you know, kind of created in a way as well, and it's it's unbelievable, like. I just am like speechless about it, basically still so.

Brett:

I would be too Like. It's like what we're talking about with the support system People are there to get better themselves and usually that means hey, I want other people to join and do the same for them, because they know the benefit that comes from it, the benefit that comes from being disciplined and showing up when you don't want to. Even on that day when you wanted just to go home, you still showed up, and that's powerful. Because most of the time like myself, included multiple times during my own journey I'm like, yeah, you know what, I'll just ease off the gas a little bit, um, but then I always just I don't feel as good. Um, it's, it's hard to explain, but I, I love that tagline I'm fat and I'm working on it. Like that's, I think that's like one, it's like, yeah, I understand my situation. Like I'm not where. I want to be fitness wise. Um, and two, it's like I'm gonna have a little bit of fun with this. Like, how'd you come up with that tagline?

Courtney:

so originally I was just trying to find like a hook that was going to get people to listen to me, and you know so I actually started that series before that viral video. It was like I think that was like my third video in my series technically, and it wasn't even intended to be a thing. You know and I the intention was basically to take the word fat and make it not have this vicious meeting, because I feel like for so long the word fat has just always been used to make people feel like crap about themselves. The word fat has just always been used to make people feel like crap about themselves, no matter what they look like, because I feel like you can call a skinny person fat and they're going to feel awful, like, so I just feel like it has such a negative connotation to it.

Courtney:

So you know, obviously it was used against me and I cried about it, but I feel like, you know, I want to use that word and like use it to take back, like my own story and my journey, um, so when I say I'm fat, I use it in the same way that I would say like I'm tall or I have wavy hair. You know, it's just an adjective, it's just a word, then, and it has no power against me. And that's really the way I want to continue my journey in this thing and my little tagline Because I am fat and that's okay, like genuinely it is fine and I'm working on it genuinely, so instead of you know, like hiding it or hating myself for being in a bigger body, like I'm going to continue working on myself. Um, and just because I say I'm fat doesn't mean I have like I'm not pretty or, you know, I'm not strong or any of those things either. So it definitely stirs the pot a little bit and I kind of like that, um, you know so, but yeah, it's just I, I just I, I don't know, I just want it, yeah.

Brett:

Yeah, I think it's awesome, like it does get get people's attention and, to your point, it's like it's shocking that like you say that about yourself, because because everything that you just said, like it's always had a negative connotation to it. And now it's like I feel like if someone's in a similar situation, they're like maybe I can work on it too and I feel like it. It just makes it more relatable and it's not like um, like being fat is not the end of the like, that's not the end of the journey. Like you can always change and it might be, it might be long, it might, you know, not have the timeline you expected it to, but there's always ways that you can get better and improve, and it might take a year or a couple of years, but you won't be the same person that you were when you started your journey, and I think that's that's the whole point.

Brett:

Um, and so I I think it's great, like I know it's um, it is kind of like you know, up in your face, like I, hey, I'm fat and I'm working on it, but I love it and that makes me think like, so getting after it. We're a community of people that you know. All we do is we try to get better ourselves and help others do the same. That's the whole mission of getting after it, and we're launching shirts soon, so I'll have to send you one, once, uh, once we get them.

Brett:

Um, I think it'd be cool to do like a shirt that just says like getting after it, and then on the back it's like I'm fat and I'm working on it, or something like that. But, um, maybe, yeah, I don't know if, if, um, I'd get your approval on that, but like, I just think it's cool, like it's, it's, it's reality, you know.

Courtney:

Well and funny enough people have like they're like you should make shirts, like I would buy that and I'm like you would buy. Like my weird little saying like all right.

Courtney:

Like so no, like I would totally love to throw that on a shirt, but I mean like it's so true, though, and like, own it right. Own the fact that you're in a bigger body, and own the fact that you're in a bigger body and own the fact that you're on a journey and you're working on it. Like you know, and I don't know, my husband and his friend are like trying to create a whole merch line for me, and I was like you guys, that's a lot, that's a lot for me that's so cool.

Brett:

You should do it Honestly, like um, there's some, there's some cool apps out there. I don't know if you've ever heard of like Printify or Printful. It's like on-demand printing, so you don't need inventory or anything like that. Oh, nice so you could just start a Shopify store and we can talk more offline about that, because I love that kind of stuff.

Brett:

So I'd be happy to help out your husband with getting that launch. But I think it's awesome. It is really cool and what you said kind of reminded me of a principle I try and live my life by that I learned from someone named Jocko Willink. Do you know who he is? So he's this ex-Navy SEAL commander. I believe he was a commander, but he fought in like Armadi, iraq and a lot of those things in like 2008.

Brett:

And he's just this super tough dude and he has this entire thing that he talks about called extreme ownership and it's basically like everything that happens in your life is a you problem, and that could be if it's in your relationship, if it's in like your habits, if it's in your job, like take ownership of it and find out what you can do to make your situation better. And I mean, I got to say you're following Jocko Willink, who's this Navy SEAL guy. You're taking extreme ownership and I love that and I just think it's really powerful and I think it just gives someone who might be starting their fitness journey a really relatable person to look to and be like okay, well, courtney started and she's way further along than I am right now, but what did she do in the beginning? And I've I gotta ask this do you feel pressure in any way um with with that kind of like impact that you have?

Courtney:

yes and no. I think it's more of like an accountability thing for me too now, where it's like okay, like I have these people who are tuning into my journey and like I want to be as open and honest as possible and I think that helps me kind of hold myself accountable then in my fitness journey because, like Monday, I was not feeling it, but I forced myself. I was not feeling it, but I forced myself. I wanted to watch Love Island on my couch and I instead got my walking pad out and I walked while I watched an episode of Love Island and I got those extra steps in even though I didn't want to, because I was like, oh, like I have people who are going to be like girl, you didn't hit your steps again this week, like what's going on, and I didn't have an excuse that I was sick this time, you know. So, um, you know it's.

Courtney:

I think it's more of an accountability thing for me but, realistically, like I want to have an open and honest and raw journey and just continue that mindset for anyone who wants to follow me. And you know it's, it's a journey for a reason, right, it's it's progress over perfection, it's baby steps, it's whatever you want it to be and I want people to know that like their journey can look like mine, but it can also be so different and I just want it to be a safe space. At the end of the day, that's just what I want my community to be.

Brett:

So I think that's awesome.

Brett:

Yeah that's so cool and it really is like because you think of influencers as people who are unstoppable. At least I do Like, I'm like man, I don't know how they do it every single day, but the thing is is you're not going to want to feel like it every single day and you won't feel like it every single day Because you know, I, I I think I mentioned I've I've been working out for a few years now and kind of the same thing. Like Monday rolled around and I was just beat up and I was like I still got to do it. Like we have friends coming over tonight, so I got to wake up and go, um, because like I have goals myself. And then yesterday it was the same thing. Our friends were over until around 10.30 that night, which is kind of late for me because I wake up super late.

Courtney:

Yes, that's super late.

Brett:

I'm a grandma.

Brett:

so I feel that yeah, my wife and I were in bed usually at 9 o'clock, so it's like whatever. And the same thing happened last night because we had friends over, because we went out of town today, and then we jumped on a plane this morning and right now I haven't worked out today and I definitely don't want to. But once I'm done with this call like I'm going to go to the gym because I made that promise to myself and it's kind of like what you said, like I don't have that excuse if I'm sick and I just, you know, I want to stay accountable to it. So it really is that stay accountable to it. Um, so it really is. That's a, that's a relatable thing that everyone runs into. Um, even that Navy SEAL guy, jocko he talks about it sometimes. He always says, if you don't want to go to the gym, he's like just show up and go through the motions, because at least you're there.

Courtney:

Um, that workout is better than not working out.

Brett:

A hundred percent. Yeah, yeah, yeah, and I love that there's um. Actually, I had a guy come on the podcast yesterday, um, who went to nationals for javelin throwing of all things, and um, it was super interesting hearing cause he like had injury after injury and his journey was pretty tough but he like still stayed in the fight and ended up going to nationals. But, um, he had this quote that he said that his sports psychologist told him, which was you can't lose if you don't stop trying.

Brett:

And, um, I think that there's a lot of power in that too, like, like you said, a bad workout is better than none. Um, so I, I, I love that mindset and it's it sounds like that's exactly what you're building is a community of um, where, like a place where people can go, have a safe space where they can ask questions or get advice and and watch you on your own journey. Um, like that's needed, and so I I admire you for for doing that. Um. But, yeah, I mean one big thing that I think fitness teaches a lot of people uh, myself included is it teaches you about yourself, and so I'm curious what you've you've learned about kind of yourself during your own journey.

Courtney:

Yeah, I think for me.

Courtney:

I think I've built so many poor habits that I feel like that's why I've always struggled with it up until this point.

Courtney:

And now I'm realizing that like I want to be better, I want to be a happier person, whether that's mentally, physically, emotionally, like all of the above and, realistically speaking, like I need to be more honest with myself. I think I'm really really good at making up excuses and convincing myself that like, oh you know, I don't need to do this because of a Y or you know, x, y, z things, and um, I think I finally learned like I'm a very honest person to my friends and my family and they don't always love how brutally honest I am, but like I'm a very honest person to my friends and my family and they don't always love how brutally honest I am, but like I won't be brutally honest with myself, like get it together, girl. So I think this journey has taught me to be brutally honest with myself and have those really hard conversations of, you know, walking that line of being disciplined and giving myself grace and I don't want to be 90 and not be able to walk or something like that Like I want to be that 90 year old. Who's breaking it down on the dance floor at my great granddaughter's wedding?

Courtney:

Like you know, it's just pushing myself now to have a better future for myself. So I think, you know, I've just learned to just be brutally honest with myself and tell myself the things I know I don't want to hear and really just focusing on, you know, getting over those poor habits and forcing myself to do things that I don't necessarily want to do. But I know I'm going to thank myself for later.

Brett:

Yeah, yeah, absolutely. I mean it's uncomfortable, it really is. It's, it's not a comfortable thing to do, but discomfort teaches you a lot and it teaches you that you can do hard things. My wife going back to her for a second, but she um, or every year, her family runs a half marathon for her dad who passed away from cancer. Um, it's called team Tim, it's, it's pretty, it's, it's a really cool experience.

Brett:

But that was like one of the first times where, um, I saw the fitness community in action, because this is a like a race where people come from all different places, like within the US, I guess, but also different fitness levels. Like there's some people I remember my first year there was a guy who ran like six, 49 minute miles and then there was like someone who pretty much walked the whole thing. Um, but the whole concept of like why we do it is one to like show other people who are affected by cancer or other um difficult challenges that they might have, that like, hey, we're willing to suffer with you. Um, and I know it's it's very different, like it's a very different type of suffering, but like, we love you enough to go and do something hard for you and his, um, his name is Tim.

Brett:

Uh, obviously Tim's him, but um, Tim would always say, like confidence comes from doing hard things and you can do hard things, and it really is something that's like kind of just it's been etched into my heart. Like you can do hard things and hard is relative. Like hard is going to look different for one person than it will for you, and it might look different for you than it is to like Scotty F fitness. You know it's, it's, it's different. Like hard is relative, but you can do hard things and confidence comes from putting yourself in those uncomfortable situations and learning to say, hey, this sucks, but I'm going to keep going because I know the result on the end is going to be better. So, yeah, I love that?

Courtney:

That's amazing yeah.

Brett:

It's um, yeah, I don't know. Like my mom, she's a great example. I, I love everything that she's done, but she's like oh man, she's going to get mad at me for this, but I think she's like 57, 58. But, um, I'll let you know if I get in trouble after this call.

Courtney:

I say she's young and hip. What are you talking about?

Brett:

Yeah, she's young and hip, but like um, speaking of hips, like she had a bad hip. She ran the Chicago Marathon and stuff and I always looked at her as a hero growing up because I was like man, that's crazy. And now she's kind of gotten a little bit older and she told me she'd never run because her hip was so bad. And she just decided this year we ran the Rock and Roll Half Marathon in Las Vegas and there was a 10 K that there was an option for and she's like you know what, I'm going to try this, like I think I can do hard things and I was like mom, that's awesome, like yeah.

Brett:

And so we were just like so proud of her and it's like, why would you not want to see people do something where they can be proud of the effort that that they saw in themselves? Um, and so I it's just I love being a part of that, and it sounds like you're you're forming that own community where people are going to start, you know, sending you DMs and be like hey, I saw your video and it made me do X, y and Z and, um, I think that's so cool.

Brett:

Um, but, yeah, so what? What are your future plans for? For fitness and, like your journey, like are there any sports that you're interested in? Or like what's, what's, what's on the horizon?

Courtney:

Yeah. So I mean, realistically, you know, just continuing to push myself to be like a happier, healthier version of myself is like my number one rule, right, so just continuing down that road, just continuing down that road. But I think you know my husband, he played football for basically his entire life and he still plays football as a 30 year old. He plays like flag football and I think he's finally retiring, but he has been getting into like has gotten into running, because that's something he's never been able to really do with playing football, because he was an O-line man. He needed to stay bulky and, must you know, like had to lift weights, you know, had to kind of go that route versus being, you know, a runner and kind of slimming down type thing. So he's been running. So I think it would be really cool to do kind of get into the running scene a little bit more.

Courtney:

I've done a 5K in the past. I did that in college and that was actually really, really fun and I loved it. Um, I walked half of it but I still got to say that I did it, um, and I think it would be cool to kind of just continue to like explore that journey and then to do it with him, who was like my best friend, I think would be even more cool. Um, and just to do something like that together and kind of push each other to like try new things in that field, which we've never done, so that'd be really cool. But I also think it'd be fun to like have the ability just to do like co-ed volleyball or just doing like fun stuff with our friends, and I think I don't. I've never tried that before because I was always so self-conscious of being in a bigger body and not being able to move as quick as my friends or whatever that would look like, and now it's just like well, I'm bettering myself and why not do those things when I am young?

Courtney:

and you know like why not? So, realistically, I think, just trying new things, putting myself out there and, um, I used to play basketball and it's always fun to shoot hoops and seeing if there's like maybe you know, some sort of co-ed thing or just even like forcing myself to do a pickup game with friends and stuff. So I think, realistically, it's just being more active and finding different ways to be active, versus just going to the gym and lifting weights every day and then going on my little hot girl walks, you know, it's just doing different things like that and just pushing myself to just be better and try new things. So I think that's really just my goal for fitness anyway.

Brett:

So yeah, I love it and um, I mean a lot of the things that you talked about. It's all about like connection, um, like planning co-ed sports, like what. What you said about running um definitely builds connection. I uh, yeah, randomly, I honestly I think you should try and get into the running community because that's like that's been probably my favorite thing I've I've done. And um, you mentioned volleyball. Like I was part of a team for eight years, um, in Arizona, of all places, but uh, the difference I feel with, like the people I run with is it's it's night and day. It's a weird feeling, but, um, I think it's just because it sucks and you're doing it with someone who like also feels that it sucks, um, but by the end, like you're, you're best friends.

Courtney:

And um, that's why I love that Team Tim race.

Brett:

I was telling you about which I might have to hit you and your husband up about and say, hey, come on, I think there's, there's, I believe there's a 10K option, but there's the half marathon, which is in February of next year.

Courtney:

So OK, gives me time to get myself going.

Brett:

Yeah, yeah, you got some time and that's actually one thing I'm working on with with getting after, because, like I love seeing people run.

Brett:

Um my brother. He's the best example to me because he's also swore off running and, um, when I got married he was around 265 pounds. Um, he won't get mad if I'm telling his weight out there. But um, and he came to me and he's like, hey, I want to run a marathon in a year Cause he's like I'm, I'm, I'm done, like I want to, I want to change and surely enough, like November of the following year, he ran his first marathon. Um, and like he lost, I think. I think he's down to two or three now.

Brett:

Um yeah, and just like seeing the, the confidence that he built in himself and the fact that he's like I'm going to commit to a plan, stick to it. And he showed up when he didn't want to. Um, his face when he crossed the finish line was like the most rewarding thing I've I've ever seen. And, um, he felt that same way about himself and I think it's just, it's a testament to you know, doing those difficult things and bonding with people and and sharing your journey with them to help them on their own. And so, yeah, I think if you and your husband get into running, hopefully you get the bug.

Courtney:

I mean, wisconsin is a beautiful place to run, so yeah, it's been really hot here the last couple of weeks, so maybe I'll start running on the treadmill inside. So I'm not like gasping for air, but you know that's fair, that's awesome.

Brett:

I think that's cool and it really is. It's like you know, you have a healthy body and I'm just going to try and make the most of it. So, really, really awesome stuff that you're doing, really, really awesome stuff that you're doing. But my last question for you is just you know, if someone was nervous to start their own journey or they had that gym anxiety, what's some advice that you would tell them?

Courtney:

Baby steps are still steps. I feel like I cannot preach that enough. So, even if you go to the gym and you walk on the treadmill and you just look, you just take a gander, you see what's going on, you get familiar where things are, you find out where the locker room is, you find out where the bathrooms are, you find out where oh, I want to try the Smith machine, oh, it's right there, okay. And then you just, and then you just leave. You were there for 15 minutes, now do it again, do it again the next day and maybe go for a half hour and maybe try out a machine and just really, like, work up that courage and that confidence. Or, you know, maybe download a fitness app or look on YouTube. You know, just educate yourself and just help boost that confidence and when in doubt you can reach out to me. Just kidding, um, but I'm definitely going to.

Brett:

I'm going to put all your information in the show notes so you might might get some.

Courtney:

You might get some people flooding your dms um but yeah, it's just, you know it's do what makes you feel comfortable, but push yourself out of your comfort zone for sure. Um. But I would like I said like, baby steps are still steps at the end of the day. So even if you're only going to the gym once or twice a week, you know, maybe the next week you can go three times and you can do more and more things each time and you'll start building that confidence and that comfortability which you can then grow and prosper. And I think that's so important.

Courtney:

And I think you should share your journey with your close friends or someone that you can at least talk to about it. I have a girl who DMs me every day what she does, like she tells me her steps, she tells me what she did at the gym and I just I absolutely love it, like I'm just, like I'm so proud of you, like great job. And then or she tells me like, oh, I didn't make it to the gym today. I'm like, girl, that's okay, like you know, like you're gonna get it tomorrow, you know. So it's just finding that person that you can share your journey with and just kind of communicate with, and just having that person, and whether that's your significant other, someone you met at the gym, whether it's an online person, like just sharing your journey and getting excited about it, I think is so, so helpful too. So Absolutely.

Brett:

Yeah, get excited about it. I mean it's going to be hard, but you know what it's worth it in the end. And I just I love the message that you're promoting because, like I said, it needs to be out there more. Everyone's in a different, everyone's in a different state, everyone's at a different level, and it's important not to compare yourself to other people, like we said, but instead seek inspiration from them and learn from them yes um, so I, I love it and um, yeah, so where where can people find, find you?

Courtney:

yeah, so I post mainly on my tiktok about, like, my health journey. So my handle is quartz corner and it's q-u-A-R-T-S Corner, yeah. And then if you want to follow me on Instagram, it's Courtney Page with an E or with a three instead of an E, but those are my main two places that I post about things. I'm debating on making a public Snapchat just to like post motivational things. I have a private story that I've had people add me on just for like post motivational things. I have a private story that I've had people add me on um just for like daily motivational things like that and what I'm doing each day to day. That's a little bit more updated and personal than TikTok.

Brett:

So, yeah, I love it I'll definitely put it in uh in the notes so people can find you. But um yeah, I. I would just say so people can find you. But um, yeah, I I would just say keep doing it, like, keep getting after it, keep showing up, because, um, speaking from my own experience here, like when I do that, like I'm always more proud, um, and and I always feel better and it sounds like you've.

Brett:

You've come to the same conclusion, which, um, I think is awesome. So, yeah, yeah, it is a journey, but you know, life is life and we're here for a while, so why not make the most of it and and do something a little challenging? Get out of your comfort zone and you'll learn a lot about yourself.

Courtney:

Yeah, I feel like this is been the craziest part of my life and, like you know, I think it's just it's nice to know that, like I'm capable of doing things I never thought I was capable of doing, and so I'm just excited to see what more I can do.

Brett:

All right on, I love it and, um, seriously appreciate you coming on today and being vulnerable, sharing your story, and, um, I think this was just, yeah, it's a great conversation that I think a lot of people can learn from. So, um, keep doing it because it's needed. And, uh, yeah, I'm, I'm definitely gonna be following you, so, maybe, I'll maybe I'll send you my steps and be like Courtney I only got. I only got like 6,000 in today. I was supposed to get 10.

Courtney:

And I'll be like it's all right. It's all right Next time we're getting them tomorrow.

Brett:

Yeah, that's. That's what's important is.

Brett:

You know, if you don't get it the first time, you show up the next time um going back to David Goggins, this is the last thing I'll say, and then we can, we can wrap up, but um, he's, you know he's known to be just the crazy man, right, but he does have this quote that I think we can all relate to, which is he doesn't look as failure as failure. He looks at them as attempts. Um, and that's like it's a big mindset change. But you're not failing. If you miss a couple of days, just get back on track and it'll be fine.

Brett:

So yes but, Courtney, seriously, thank you so much for for jumping on. It was great to meet you and great to talk to you.

Courtney:

Thanks for having me. I absolutely loved it. This was super great. You're super great, oh, but 10 out of 10 would do it again.

Brett:

Awesome. Well, yeah, we might have to get an update episode, maybe a little bit later in the year, and see how things are going For sure. Yeah, really appreciate your time today and everyone else. Thank you so much for listening and, as always, keep getting after it.