Getting After It

130 - Why Your Limits Are Lying to You

• Brett Rossell • Season 4 • Episode 130

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This episode is for the moments when your brain says, "That’s all I’ve got.”
Because that voice? It’s lying to you.

Today, I’m breaking down the myth of our limits—the mental stories we tell ourselves when we’re tired, unsure, or just plain scared. Whether you’re chasing a fitness goal, building something meaningful, or just trying to become a little better than you were yesterday, I want this episode to remind you of one thing: you’ve got more in the tank.

I talk about:

  • What happened when I thought I was done after 11 miles… but laced up again anyway
  • Why your brain puts up mental roadblocks (and how to push through them)
  • The two things that kill most dreams: uncertainty and pain
  • How Stoic philosophy (especially the “premeditation of evils”) helps you prepare for discomfort
  • Why the only real growth happens when things get hard
  • And how my brother Drew lost nearly 60 pounds and ran a marathon by showing up daily

This is a real look at what it takes to push your limits when no one’s watching, when no one’s cheering, and when every part of you wants to stop.

If you’ve ever said, “I’m just not ready,” or “Maybe someday,” I hope this episode gets in your head the same way those doubts have—and fights back harder.

You’re not done.
You’re just getting started.

Let’s keep getting after it.

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I hope today’s episode sparked something within you to pursue your dreams and unlock your true potential. If you found value in it, consider sharing it with someone who might need that same push.

This podcast is built for you—the dreamers and the doers. My goal is to provide a space where you can find inspiration, learn from others, and feel empowered to chase what matters most to you.

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Brett:

Welcome back to the show, my friends. I'm Brett and today I want to dismantle a lie, not some political lie, not some social media lie, a lie that you've been telling to yourself, the lie that says that's all I got, this is all I have. Because I'll tell you right now it's not. This episode is about what happens when you keep going, even when your brain says that you can't do it. This episode is about what happens when you keep going, even when your brain says that you can't do it. It's about the difference between real limits and the imaginary ones that we build to keep ourselves comfortable. Let's talk about pushing past that line and what you find when you get there. Without further ado, let's dive in. What an interesting week. It's been a good one.

Brett:

I was down in Arizona and down there with my wife as she commutes in Mesa. She flies planes, as many of you know, but I was down there and excited just to spend some time with family and be in my hometown. And I wanted to test myself because I mentioned in the last episode, I've been reading this book by Cameron Haynes called Undeniable, and in it he talks about when he first started pushing his limits and what that was like for him when he pushes limits once. It opened a door to an entirely new experience that he didn't think that he was capable of. To sum it up very quickly this guy started by dropping out of a 10K race and now he runs 250 mile races, all to get him aimed and prepped for bow hunting. That's his real passion is bow hunting. And it got me thinking about my own limitations and the stories that I tell myself about whether or not I can push past the discomfort, the uncertainty, the pain, to see if I can give more, see if I can push myself just a little bit further. And I had to sit down and have an honest conversation with with me.

Brett:

And one example was on on Wednesday. I um, I talked to my brother earlier that week and I was like, hey, my goal for this week is I want to see how much I can run outside and just start getting those reps back in. And on Wednesday I went to the gym in the morning and I did leg day, which is about 50 minutes of leg exercises, and then I ran five miles. So big, big exercise in the morning, right, but the entire day I was like man. I wonder if I could just go run outside after work, like I wonder if I can get a few more miles in, and I was a little bit nervous to do it. But I was like you know what I got to try? I got to at least test my limits and so, sure enough, when I got back from work I laced up my shoes and I ran outside, just quick three mile run. But at the end of the day I was like you know what? That wasn't as bad as I thought.

Brett:

It did take time. I will say that it was. You know an extra 20 minutes, I think, is the how long the run took me. But you know it's in. Then you have to shower. It just takes time out of your day to go that that hard.

Brett:

And the thing is is I wanted to push myself, I wanted to see what my limits were, and that takes taking a chance on yourself and being a little bit uncomfortable in the beginning, because I'm learning what it truly means to push my limits. And spoiler, spoiler alert, it's a little bit more than I thought it was. And I'm not talking about in any kind of like fake Instagram caption kind of way, like oh, you know, you got this, you can do this, you can push past this, but in the real raw way of like, hey, I still wake up sore and I'm still going to go do the thing, that kind of way. And I realize this is that your mind doesn't put limits on you because you're weak. That's one thing I want to make very clear is that your mind is not trying to put these limitations on you to keep you in a safe spot. That's not what it's trying to do. It does this because it thinks it's protecting you and your brain is running on software that has been around for about 200,000 years and it was designed to keep you alive and not necessarily to thrive.

Brett:

Right, and you might be feeling like, oh yeah, I'm doing what I'm comfortable with and like my life is great, like I don't really have any challenges or anything like that. But what I'm trying to tell you today is that if you question that, if you ask yourself, can I give it a little bit more? And you can take this principle and you can apply it to fitness. You can apply it to your job, your family relationships, your own personal hobbies, whatever you want to aspire to be. Ask yourself if you're pushing your own limitations and if you remember the last conversation we had on this podcast, it was all about taking action, taking that first step, and I posted a clip on TikTok where I talked about that quote fear is a mile wide and an inch deep and got some good feedback from it.

Brett:

Like, I think people don't understand because I didn't. They don't understand that fear is just something our brain makes to protect us. And you might say like, well, I'm scared of clowns yeah, because your brain wants you not to go around clowns. I'm scared of the ocean right, because maybe someone in your ancestor history line whatever that is your family tree may have fallen into the ocean and they died. And you know, your great, great grandpa was like, hey, I'm going to remember this so I never fall into the ocean, and that somehow got programmed into your mind. So our brains are really good at protecting us. What they're not great at is seeing if you can run an extra mile, seeing if you want to ask that person out, or speaking up during a meeting.

Brett:

Our challenges have changed. They're no longer as fatal as they used to be, but they feel fatal. They feel like it's the end of the road If you get to that point, that's not the problem. The problem is the own conversation that we have with ourselves, whether or not we can push past. So as I was thinking about this, I came up with a hypothesis that I think most people never chase. Their potential comes down to two reasons, and that's uncertainty and pain. That's it. The unknown and the uncomfortable, those are the two things that always stall progress and always put a roadblock in the middle of your goal. It's you're worried about the pain, you're worried about the uncertainty, which is valid. Those are valid things to be worried about. But when you step into it, when you push yourself a little bit more, from my own experience, it's not as bad as you thought it was and you realize that, hey, you know what? Maybe I am capable of a little bit more. But those two things pain and uncertainty have buried millions of people's dreams, millions, including mine at times.

Brett:

Let me give you an example. Like I just, not too long ago, made some changes to this podcast, to where I wanted to be more impactful for the listeners, because I started this thing with the motto and the idea and the principle behind it all that if I'm able to help one person, then this whole thing will become a success to me and I stand by that. And so in my mind I'm like, okay, well, what can I do to maybe make it a little bit more relevant to the people that are listening, make it more helpful to them? And I think it's by sharing my own experiences, which I have before but I haven't really given you like a daily, weekly kind of insight into my life, which I'm I'm I'm going to start doing now, because I want you to understand the mental battles that go through my head and how I get through them.

Brett:

So on Saturday, this past Saturday, I was in Arizona, like I mentioned and the whole plan. We went out with my brother and his wife the night before and we stayed out, we played pickleball, we went to dinner, we had fun, and we kind of went home early because the whole idea was like I was going to wake up early so I could beat the heat, get in front of, get in front of the sun if I could, which was going to mean like 5am running, and I had 15 miles on the docket and woke up at nine, 30. Boom, it's already a hundred degrees in Arizona at that time, hot as hell. And so I defaulted and I was like, okay, well, I'm going to go to the gym get them, get some miles in, uh, see what I can do, see how far I can go. Because, let's be honest, the treadmill is hard as hell sometimes to stay on and you just fall into these cycles of man, this is boring. And then you start talking yourself out of things like oh man, that pain in my knee is really bad. And then you just stop and not really testing your limitations. And so I recognize that I got 11 miles in on the treadmill on Saturday.

Brett:

But the whole day he was nagging at me. I was like I told everyone I was gonna run outside. I told my brother, I told myself, I told my wife they all think I'm gonna be running outside. But I ran on the treadmill and I didn't even get all my miles in. I got 11 out of the 15 I was supposed to do. And so we get back from going out to dinner with my brother-in-law and his girlfriend and I just decided I was like, okay, I'm going to go run four miles.

Brett:

My body, mind you, at this point was very tired and like I laid on the bed when we got home and I was like this feels good, I am comfortable, I want to go, I want to take a nap, I want to go to bed. Right now this feels nice. But I pushed past that. I didn't listen to that voice, because how many times have I said on this podcast that you shouldn't be listening to the comfort voice? It's good at times, but when you have goals, when you have things that you want to accomplish, it's not going to be helpful in many of those situations. And so I fought that point and I decided to just go run four miles In the desert, in the dark. And the point was is I thought I was done. You know, I ran 11 miles and by everyone else's perspective, that could be a great day, and for me I mean, running 11 miles is a big deal. It's a hard thing to do, but I wasn't done and that wasn't my limit and I wanted to prove to myself that that was true.

Brett:

So little things like that like when you think you're done, when you think you've given it your all, maybe take a step back and say is there more I can do here? And whether it's a project at work, whether it's spending time with your spouse, it doesn't matter. Are you giving it your all, are you trying to push boundaries? Because if you're not, I don't think you're going to grow. But if you do, if you do decide to take some chances on yourself and decide to work a little bit harder, decide to grit your teeth and just get it done, whatever has to be done, and you just stay in the game, you stay in the fight, you will open up doors that you never thought were possible. I know that will happen because it's happened to me.

Brett:

And one thing that helps me get through trying to push my limits is I think about the stoic principle and practice of the premeditation of evils, which I freaking love. That name that's such a good name. It sounds really intimidating, but really all it is is that the stoics would imagine every single hardship. Imagine every single hardship, every single challenge that could come into their way, so that they could prepare their minds for it If it did ever come up. Why? Why would they do that? Because once you anticipate pain, it stops controlling you. When you say I know this is not going to be easy, this is going to be something that's going to take a lot of effort on my part, but I'm willing to stay in it, I'm willing to try, then it doesn't control you. At this point and that quote, fear is a mile wide, but an inch deep comes, comes to life, and you begin to see that in daily actions.

Brett:

Marcus Aurelius wrote this. He said if you are distressed by anything external, the pain is not due to the thing itself, but to your estimate of it, and this and this you have the power to revoke at any moment. I'm going to reread that because I didn't do a great job. If you're distressed by anything external, the pain is not due to the thing itself, but to your estimate of it, and this you have the power to revoke at any moment. What is he saying there? Some of these guys, they write really, really, really deep and sometimes it's hard to understand. But to break it down, really, what he's saying is if something is bothering you, it's not because of that thing, it's because of the stories that you're telling yourself about it, and you have the power, because you have agency, to be able to say no, hey, listen, we're thinking about something else. Or, if it is bothering you, to say, okay, what's the worst that can happen? You take my running example Okay, I'm going to go try and run four miles in the desert right now and in my head I was like, oh well, if you know, if my body starts hurting, I only get a mile in. I can live with that, right. And so just trying to come up with all the worst case scenarios, as weird as it might sound, helps you battle them when they actually happen.

Brett:

Tim Ferriss has this exercise called fear setting, which is his take on goal setting, but it's pretty much. If he has a goal, like, let's say, he wants to start a business, then he will list everything wrong that could happen to him, his company, the people that he employs, everything wrong that could go. You know, everything that could go wrong. He pretty much listed out in a simple, clear way and then he asked himself he says if these things do happen right, will I live, will I be okay? And if his answer is yes, then he'll take that risk.

Brett:

I think it's a powerful exercise to try, and if you haven't done something like that, I would push you to do it Because, like I mentioned, most of it comes from our own minds and we have power to control our thoughts, and so doing this exercise at least gets you an idea of how your brain thinks, what you're actually worried about. And then it gives you a moment to say if that did happen, how would I be? Would I be okay? And usually the answer is yes, hopefully it is. But we build pain in our heads, we forecast the worst case scenarios and we use that fear to justify staying comfortable. So we say things like oh, that's not for me or I'm not ready for that, I'm going to wait for the right time, or it'll never happen, even if I do try, maybe. Maybe those things are true, but maybe they they that, that goal that you have. Maybe it would happen if you did try, if you pushed yourself just a little harder, if you stopped waiting for a sign and instead actually became the sign Right.

Brett:

You're the one that makes these choices. You decide whether or not you have the endurance, the resilience and the fight in you to keep after these goals. To get after these goals. It all comes from you. Getting after it is a choice. We talked about that, allie and I talked about that not too long ago. But it is a choice that you have to make daily and, as someone who lives the getting after a lifestyle, you have to put those thoughts aside.

Brett:

You have to put those fears out the window, because if I didn't, this podcast wouldn't be a thing. If I didn't, I wouldn't be running, because there's a lot of fear that goes into that. Oh man, I got 10 miles in the mountains. Really, that's going to hurt. My body's going to hurt so bad. What if I don't have enough water? What if I don't have enough fuel? What if a mountain lion comes out and attacks me? You see, you can talk yourself out of all these scenarios. You can build up the worst case scenario in your head so your brain's ready for it. But that won't do anything unless you take action. So become the sign.

Brett:

And with all things, you need to start small, because small shifts create big impacts. Here's the truth. You don't need that radical shift because you just need to do one thing better than you did yesterday. That's it. And you've heard the phrase, I'm sure you have of try and aim to be 1% better each and every day. Just work on being 1% better, because that 1% will snowball into by the end of the year, because that 1% will snowball into by the end of the year, 36.5% better, right. And if we're all getting 36.5% better every single year, that's pretty good. That's not bad, I'll take it. I just think my math might be off on that. Ah, someone spot check me on my math. But you get.

Brett:

What I'm saying is that there is a constant snowball effect where you are continuously getting better, but it starts by you have to take action, you have to push yourself, you have to test your limits and when you think that you've given it your all, see if you can take another step. Do one more. Like, if things come up like you didn't get your run in in the morning, do it after work. You might be tired, but see if you can do it after work. Like you didn't get your run in in the morning, do it after work. You might be tired, but see if you can do it after work. If you didn't get that job you wanted, then figure out why. See if you can fix something and then send 10 more applications out.

Brett:

Say I'm better because of this. I want to write a book, and so one thing I need to do is just 100 words a day that could be in my journal, but to get me into the practice of trying to become a better writer and that's it. It's just a start and that's what I'm aiming for you to try and do. And so we want these big, dramatic changes to come and happen overnight because they're sexy, right Like. We see people on social media all the time who seem to be overnight successes, but what you don't see is the work that's done day by day, hour by hour, and late into the night, early in the morning. Everything that they're doing to grind to get to where they're at now.

Brett:

That's not an overnight success. It might seem like it, because when one thing goes viral, then the whole thing does right. People know about you, whatever, but that's not how it starts. It might, you know, be a dream to be an overnight success, but I'm telling you that's not long lasting. What's long lasting is you build these habits day by day to create that big impact. That's how real transformation works. It's quiet, it's boring, it's lacing up your shoes when you don't really want to, it's choosing the salad when you really want those damn fries, and it's about studying reading rather than scrolling TikTok.

Brett:

Discipline isn't about intensity, it's about consistency, and I've talked about that too many times. I'm not going to cover it on this one. But all these principles play into this and I just think you know we are all capable of doing great things, but a lot of that means we're going to have to step into pain, we're going to have to step into uncertainty and be willing to see where that road takes us. So think about it. What's the worst that can happen? And if you're okay with whatever, the worst case scenario is that you've come up with in your brain, take that first step. There's not a perfect time. The perfect time is yesterday, so start now.

Brett:

Now, who are some real life examples that we can look at at this? And I've talked about David Goggins, I've talked about Cameron Haynes, but I want to talk about my brother, drew, a little bit. Because, drew, we were laughing at this when we went out to dinner with him and his wife on Friday. We were talking about my wedding photos and in the wedding photos, drew is about 200 and 250 pounds, maybe 260. He might be on 260 pounds. He was a beefy boy and he had a long hair that was down to his shoulders Pretty much. We told him he wasn't looking great at the time, which drew you might. You might get mad at me. I'll put a picture up of him right here. He might get mad at me for this, but if you're watching this, now's a good time to watch. Okay, it's gone.

Brett:

Anyways, I'm so proud of that dude because he is a living example of what discipline, consistency and stepping into that fear looks like. He was kind of a bigger guy for a few years and he always talked about how he wanted to lose weight. He wanted to get in shape. He wanted to. You know, try and look better, right, as we all do. Let's be honest with ourselves. You know, try and look better, right, as we all do. Let's be honest with ourselves.

Brett:

And it wasn't up until the November that I got married. So November 2023, when he's like I'm going to start running, brett, will you help me out? And he asked me for some help and I gave him a very basic coaching plan and, gotta be honest, didn't know if he would stick with it or not, because running is hard. It is a painful thing to do, especially when you're that much um, when you're that heavy, like your joints are going to take a beating at the beginning. And Drew didn't care. He's like I committed to this goal, I want to see if I can be a runner, and he pushed himself hard. He really did.

Brett:

Now we were talking at dinner and he's 203 pounds, he's built, he's got some good muscle on him. He looks a lot better. Um, he actually kind of looks like my twin and not saying I'm a handsome man, but I'm just saying he looks better. And all of that came from work. I can't tell you how many times Drew called me saying things like man. I don't even know if this is working Like. I don't know if I'm going to be a good runner. Guess what? That guy ran a marathon in 2024. And he's lost so much weight. He's lost almost 60 pounds.

Brett:

It's amazing to see his progress and it didn't start out big. Like I said in the beginning, it was not some overnight change. What it started with was with thought, and in that thought I know he felt a lot of uncertainty. I know he knew there was going to be a lot of pain If he went after this goal the pain of a sore body, the pain of hunger because he was going to have to eat less and eat better foods, and all these different things that would stack up into the big impact that he now is of a 203-pound man who is signed up for an ultramarathon that he's running with me in October and in April of next year, we're going on a 50-mile run together.

Brett:

That's amazing. That is discipline embodied, and that is consistency every single day for a goal that he was initially afraid to go after and it can happen to you too. I'm proud of that guy for what he's done, because he's a living example of the things that I talk about and getting after it and how they work. And now he's reading more and he's he's taking more risks and he's he's one of my heroes. Honestly, drew is one of my heroes, and and it's because he's one of the hardest working people I've met but he faced everything that we do too, that uncertainty and that pain, but he stepped into it and he wasn't going to let him stop it, and he was always asking himself is that my limit? You know what impresses me most about that story Is that he got comfortable with being uncomfortable, which, if you want to achieve anything in life, you're going to have to learn to do.

Brett:

Be uncomfortable, embrace it, make it your ally, make it your friend, because only then will these changes happen. And then everyone's going to say, dang Johnny over, there is an overnight success, when in reality, they didn't see the two years that you spent working hard as hell on it. So think about that for a moment. Think about how your life could change if you achieve the goals that you wanted to. Because you can. You just have to be willing to work hard enough to be disciplined and consistent and learn to adapt along the way. Adaptation is so important because as you get better, like with Drew, we'll bring him back into this. As he got better with running, the training was no longer hard for him, it became easy, and so we had to ramp up the training to get him uncomfortable again. And now he's achieving things that he never thought was possible, and so am I, so is Allie, so is everyone else that embodies this.

Brett:

Getting after mindset. It all starts with a choice, and if you're willing to embrace it, if you're willing to step into it and fight the battle for who knows how long the goals will come the results will happen. I would say, to go down this path, you need to build something that I would call a resilience formula, and here's how I would say you build resilience. It's not by avoiding pain so if you think it was, you're very wrong but it's by choosing to show up while you're still in it by saying, yeah, I'm tired, I'm stressed, I'm doubting myself and I'm still going.

Brett:

Seneca, another famous Stoic, says difficulties strengthen the mind as labor does the body. Now I talk about fitness a lot. Seneca here is talking about labor on the body. I talk about fitness because I believe that it bleeds into every aspect of life. When you're sitting under a bench press trying to push as hard as you can, and you're struggling and you feel like you're going to die, then that moment will teach you that like hey, when things come up, you can push past it a little bit, you can push into the pain, you can push it away and fight and be stronger through it. But training your body is equally as important as training the mind. I would argue the mind might be more important to train, because you have to learn to be resilient.

Brett:

We need to stop seeking ease, stop confusing comfort with peace, because that's not what it is. Start recognizing struggle as the training ground for your own mental strength and your own strength in general, because that voice in your head, when it's telling you to quit, use it as a signal. That's where the work begins. This is where you implement all the principles I've talked about. When you're telling yourself I'm done. I want to stop, but don't do it. If the goal is that important to you, do not give up. That will lead to a life of regret. See what you can do to push through it. Ask for help if you need to.

Brett:

I've mentioned many times if you ever need anything, if you ever are struggling with a goal, dm me, because I would love to help you out, because everyone is capable of doing great things. And can you imagine a world of people who are getting after it all the time, who are consistently trying to push themselves, who are trying to get better and make the world a better place alongside of it? It'll be a very different world that we live in. And I love the quote that you know. Anybody who's doing better than you will never, will never come down and bully you. Really, they won't. They won't do anything to get you um, to make you feel bad about them or to make you feel bad about yourself. They won't do that because they understand that hard work. It's admirable because they've been there before, because they know what it's like to feel like the whole weight of the world is on your shoulders, to doubt yourself relentlessly, but still push past it. They know what it's like to work out super hard throughout the week and then when Saturday comes and they have a long run to still show up and get it done, because they've been there before.

Brett:

Those are the people that you need to reach out to to ask for help, and they're around. You just have to look for them. You are made for more. Your limits were never real, so whatever limits are in your mind, throw it out the window. There's too many examples in this world of people who have pushed past their limits, who have done difficult things on a regular basis to get to where they're at now. It's why I love ultra marathons, because in an ultra marathon, the only thing you're really thinking about is pain. You're in so much pain, your legs are aching, your body's fatigued, you're trying to consistently get food down and drink, but the mountains require a lot of you, and so seeing these men and women push themselves 100 plus miles and carve a path, for myself to build the belief that, hey, if they can do it, then I can as well that is motivating for me. If someone's done it, odds are you can too. You just have to make the choice to progress every day, and it's not easy.

Brett:

Comfort is a siren I love that word A siren from Homer's the Odyssey. You know, comfort will say to you hey, come over here. You've been working hard, let me rub your shoulders a little bit. Let me just put on a show for you here. You want this slice of pizza and you're just like, ooh, this is nice. This comfort person's really nice.

Brett:

And then, as you're sitting there eating your pizza watching a show getting your shoulders rub, comfort takes a dagger and plunges it right into your heart and says, ha, I got you, you're mine now. You're not going anywhere. But guess what? You can rip that knife out and stab it right back into comfort's neck and say, hey, you caught me, but I'm pushing past this. And then you go and you get shit done. You're made for more, but that doesn't mean you're going to have fanfare along the way. You're not going to have people cheering you on. It shows up when you get the results. But those results are going to be far down the road and your dreams aren't as far as you think. I promise you that, because when you test your limits, then you learn to test it again, not with a leap, but with a single step forward. Like I said, it's the small actions that get you there. One more rep, one more cold call, one more mile, one more page Doesn't matter.

Brett:

Try and push yourself when you feel like you're tired, because, as Teddy Roosevelt says and this is the reason that this quote sits around my neck every single day the credit belongs to the man who actually is in the arena, who strives violently, who errs, who comes short again and again, but who does actually strive to do the deeds. And one of my favorite parts of that quote is that he will never be known with those cold, timid souls who didn't have the guts to try. That's you. You're in the arena and you've still got more in the tank. So get after it Every damn day, because if you don't, someone else will, and that dream that you have is going to be theirs. If you don't, someone else will, and that dream that you have is going to be theirs.

Brett:

If this episode at all hit home for you, share it with someone who needs a reminder that they're capable of more, that they're not done yet. We're not done when we're tired. We're done when we're finished, and that's a mantra you need to live by. That's part of getting after it. You're not done when you're tired. If you're listening to this podcast, you're made for more. That's when you're tired. If you're listening to this podcast, you're made for more. That's why you're trying to learn about getting after it, because you want to see what you're capable of doing. And I'm telling you, you've got more in the tank. Push your limits. Question yourself when you have those thoughts of man, I'm done. Ask yourself is that true or am I just giving up? If you're the kind of person who's out there running, riding, building, lifting, loving and still showing up when it's hard, you're part of this tribe. Keep going, keep pushing, keep getting after it. I'll see you guys next week. Thanks for tuning in.