Getting After It

113 — Imposter Syndrome: The Silent Killer of Growth (And How to Fight Back)

• Brett Rossell • Season 4 • Episode 113

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Ever felt like a fraud, like you’re not good enough, or that you’re just getting lucky? You’re not alone. Seventy percent of people struggle with imposter syndrome at some point in their lives.

In this episode, I dive into the mental war of imposter syndrome—why we feel it, how to fight it, and how to finally own your wins.

What You’ll Learn:

  • The five red flags of imposter syndrome that might be holding you back
  • How to use David Goggins' "cookie jar" technique to silence self-doubt
  • Why perfectionism and overworking are traps—and how to escape them
  • The power of talking it out and how to shrink imposter syndrome by exposing it
  • How to reframe your mindset and turn doubt into your biggest growth signal
  • The secret weapon of elite performers—focusing on progress over perfection


Key Takeaways:

  • Own your wins. Write down your victories, big or small, and use them as fuel when doubt creeps in.
  • Talk about it. Imposter syndrome thrives in silence. Bring it to the light, and its power fades.
  • Reframe failure. Every stumble is a step forward—mistakes sharpen you, not expose you.
  • Doubt means growth. If you’re feeling imposter syndrome, you’re probably on the edge of something big.

This isn’t just about getting over imposter syndrome—it’s about mastering it.

Let’s get after it.

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I hope today’s episode sparked something within you to pursue your dreams and unlock your true potential. If you found value in it, consider sharing it with someone who might need that same push.

This podcast is built for you—the dreamers and the doers. My goal is to provide a space where you can find inspiration, learn from others, and feel empowered to chase what matters most to you.

Your dreams are within your grasp. All you need is the commitment to Get After It.

Brett:

Picture this you're crushing it at work, you're doing well in your job, yet there's a voice in your head that's whispering you're a fraud, they're going to figure you out. Or you're training for a race. You feel really good, but you're questioning whether or not you're going to actually be able to do the thing. Sound familiar at all? Well, that is imposter syndrome. You're not alone in this fight, and that's exactly what we're talking about today. Let's get after it. Studies say that 70% of people in their life will struggle with imposter syndrome at some point, and I think that's pretty true because I deal with it still, and the reason I wanted to do a podcast about this very topic is for that reason that I still do struggle with imposter syndrome and sometimes feeling like a fraud, and it's. It's weird because on one side, you have a stack of evidence that proves to yourself and to others that you are who you say you are, if you're doing the work, if you're being consistent, if you're doing what you should be doing to move forward towards your goals. But it's crazy what our minds do to ourselves and, to be honest, I felt it this morning when I sat down and wrote this outline for the podcast. I thought to myself who am I to talk about this stuff? I'm not some guru. I haven't studied imposter syndrome, I've just dealt with it before. And that's the thing. That's imposter syndrome doing its little thing, and it's more common than you think, honestly. But it's that nagging belief that you're not as good as people think you are and that your success is just either luck, timing, and not necessarily skill or grit. And the more that we talk about this, I think it might resonate just a little bit better and make some more sense. But we're going to sit here and we're going to talk about this together. But we're fighting back because ultimately, imposter syndrome can be combated. And, like I said, this is still something that I still sometimes struggle with and that I have to learn how to manage on a regular basis, and I'm not perfect at it, but I've definitely learned some things from studying other people, through dealing with it myself and just trying to get past it and hopefully that some of these things resonate and help you at all. So buckle up, we're about to get after it and hopefully, that some of these things resonate and help you at all. So buckle up, we're about to get after it.

Brett:

But what is imposter syndrome. Actually, I gave a brief explanation about it, but what does it actually mean? I want to break it down because I think it's more easy to find one sign that you might be struggling with and then ultimately exploring that further. So here's a few red flags for yourself. One this is a big one self-doubt. You're second guessing yourself on almost everything, even though you have a stack of proof that shows you that you're legit. It could be wins, it could be accomplishments, whatever, but for some reason you still feel that self-doubt.

Brett:

Number two is perfectionism. And you could be obsessing over every single detail. You could be just worried about the fact that if one of these things slips up, everyone's going to know that you're the fraud that you think you are, and that's a dangerous thing to play with. But perfectionism is number two. Number three is overworking. You're piling on tasks, you're getting even more entrenched in whatever you're doing. You're grinding harder than you need to just to prove that you belong where you're at, which I'll talk about that a little bit later. But that is a huge trap that a lot of us fall into, myself included. Another one is like over over. No, not overplay. You downplay. Praise that you get someone to come up to you and say you did great, great job, and you're like, no, no, that wasn't a great job, that was luck, I was just lucky there.

Brett:

And while it's true that, yes, sometimes luck and circumstances they do get you in certain points in life that Gil or something else wouldn't. But, like, timing is an interesting thing because you never really know when the perfect time to start something is. And this podcast, I could have started this five years ago. That's not what happened. It was like two and a half years ago. But I can't go back and be like, hey, man, I got to start this up five years back. I don't know what I'm saying here, but anyways, you shouldn't pretend that luck gets you everywhere, because it doesn't.

Brett:

If you're working hard, if you're pushing yourself, luck is a factor, yes, but also the work and the dedication, the consistency, that's a huge factor too. So think about that next time. And if any of these hit home for you, then you might be dealing with this in some capacity. But for me it's the overworking piece, something I still struggle with today. But I'll take on big projects, I'll try and push myself further and further on my miles and things like that just to see what I can do, and there's not really a why behind it. And if you listen to the last podcast I recorded with Allie we talked about when things get tough, especially with races and things like that it's hard to sometimes find your why. And you have to have a very solid why, otherwise it's going to be very difficult to continue that process.

Brett:

So we are going to go into this, because if you have spotted any of these signs, then you're in a good place, because that means you're ready to step in and take down imposter syndrome, because it really is just a construct of the mind. So what do we do? Strategy number one is you own your wins, be proud of what you do. This isn't fluffy self-help nonsense, this is real. It's about building that stack of evidence and being proud of it, like David Goggins does this, and he is the epitome of no self, self-help, self-help Wow. He's like the guy that despises that crap, right, and so if he's doing that, you probably should too. So what does that mean? What's his cookie jar concept? Well, it's a stash of achievements or wins that you can pull from when that self-doubt creeps in.

Brett:

Write it down Every project you crush, everything, that compliment that you earned every time you showed up and delivered and made something happen, whether in fitness or your job or your family, big or small, it all accounts and it all adds up. I love the quote consistency compounds, because this also plays into it quite a bit. So here's how you do it Simple Grab a notebook, use your phone, whatever you have to do. You can make sticky notes and actually put in a jar, it doesn't matter. But every day jot down one win, and it could be as small or as big as you would like, but if you nailed the deadline at work, write it down. That shows that you are someone who can produce on time, get things done on time and ultimately be proud of the work that you do. And that's the thing is.

Brett:

If you ever feel like you know, there's that self doubt creeping in. That's why this is such a powerful tool to have in your back pocket, because you can go back and be like, hey, I am winning, I'm doing better than I did a year ago. One of the number one reasons I journal is for that specifically is so I can go back and realize that I am making progress, even though where I'm at right now it might not feel like it, but it's that steady progress that actually lasts and that's what leads to longevity and goals and everything. So it's just your own proof. It's proof for yourself and over time you'll look back and realize that you have a full war chest of credit that shows that you are who you say you are and that you're not an imposter, which is such a powerful tool to have. So I want you to try it.

Brett:

Start today. Write down something in your phone on a notebook, sticky note. Just write something down that you're proud of and that you consider a win, no matter how small or how big your win could be literally getting out of bed this morning. For some people that is a win and that's a big one. So write it down and start there. Number two is talking it out. So what does that mean? It's simple as that. You just talk to someone about this. Here's something wild Imposter syndrome loves the dark, just like how sin loves being not talked about. Right, that's where it thrives is in secret. Sin thrives in secret. Same with imposter syndrome. If you're keeping it a secret, then that voice in your head is going to gain strength. It's going to grow louder, it's going to be nastier and soon enough you'll start really questioning yourself and maybe, maybe, at this point, you even give up, because if you don't talk to to someone about it, then you're giving it all the power. But if you go and you share it with someone and you talk to them about what you're doing, you drag that imposter syndrome into the light. It shrinks Like that 70% stat that I mentioned at the beginning, that everyone deals with this.

Brett:

Think about that. You have people in your life who have probably dealt with imposter syndrome in some degree. It could be a friend, a mentor, a family member, whatever. But you should go up and talk to them and it could be as simple as hey, you know what I'm. I'm having a hard time. I don't know what's going on, but I feel like a fraud sometimes and I guarantee you, the person that you're talking to is going to say something like oh yeah, I felt that before. And then you just talk to each other about it. You're like, well, how'd you overcome it? What? What did you do? What worked for you? What do you think I should try? And I think it's just something that obviously takes time to learn and it's a muscle, just like everything else in life that you have to strengthen, practice anything, and it's just a lot of work. So that's the thing is, if you bring it out in front of the light and this goes along with the quote that coaches and mentors take months and turn them into weeks Same thing here. If you go and you talk about your imposter syndrome with someone else and talk about some of the struggles that you're dealing with, then they can tell you what. What got them through it. And also, sometimes it's just nice to be heard.

Brett:

When I started this podcast, I talked to so many people who didn't have podcasts my mom, my brothers, friends at work and I would say usually the same thing. I was kind of embarrassed about talking about my podcast because it was like I had imposter syndrome to the nth degree and people would come up to me. I would tell them about it, but then I would rush off the conversation because I was almost embarrassed that I had a podcast where I shared my thoughts. But that's why I started. It is to share my thoughts, and so it took me a while to be confident about that and to be proud of that work. But ultimately, what are you proud of? Just talk about it, man. Everyone reassured me that I was on to something and that, no matter what, they were proud that I was able to get this message out. Whether it helped people or not, I don't know, but they always reassured me. They're like you're not an imposter. Stop doing that.

Brett:

And I think at the time it could have been because I was comparing myself to people like Chris Williamson, nick Bear, which I still do to a degree I. I think it's important to compare, meaning that you should see something that someone has and not be greedy about it and not be jealous of it. Instead be like how can I incorporate that into my life? Or what can I do to be a better speaker? Just like Chris Williamson is on a podcaster and you listen to it, you learn from it and you pick things up. The problem with comparison is that when you start comparing yourself to others and you let jealousy talk and you say, man, they have a really nice car, I hate them for having that car, that's when it becomes an issue. Or you turn it back on yourself and say, man, how come I don't have that? I didn't work as hard as them? And again, another negative thing but compare people to traits that you wish you had and then work towards those traits and, like I know, we're talking about right now discussing imposter syndrome with someone else. But don't bottle it up. Get it out there and you'll be amazed at how fast that weight lifts One of my favorite things that my wife always tells me, and I learned this early on in marriage.

Brett:

So if anyone's about to get married, this is great marriage advice. Anyone will tell you. So sometimes your wife will just want to vent and she doesn't want advice. So don't step in. Don't give it so. Usually when my wife comes to me with a problem and she'll start talking about it, I'll stop and say do you want me to listen or do you want me to help? And when she says just to listen, that's exactly what I do, is I just listen? Because for her it's so good for her to be able to just get some things off her chest, and then she moves on, and that's the same thing that happens with imposter syndrome. You talk about it, you put it out in the open, get reassured that you're on the right path. Boom, there you go. You're good Now.

Brett:

Strategy number three is to shift your mindset. This is an important one for me. What does that mean? Well, let's get deep for a second.

Brett:

Imposter syndrome often comes from the idea that your worth is fixed. You're either good enough or you're not, and every mistake proves you're a fraud. Right, and that's a trap. What if you flipped it? What if every stumble was just a step towards getting better? Now, you've heard of this before. This is called a growth mindset.

Brett:

Bad things happen. It's not a stop on your journey. Instead, it's a thing that you can use and you can learn from and amplify your experience in the future. If you start looking at it as bad things happen to me, every time I try and do something new, bad things happen. Well, guess what? Here's the real truth. If you do start something new, bad things will happen because you've never done that before, and not necessarily bad things, but challenges will come up and the question is is like do you want it bad enough to embrace the challenges and to push forward? If the answer is yes, then you should keep going and, when those mistakes come, realize that you are learning and that that is part of the process. Which is also important to have mentors, because they can help you through and you can learn from their mistakes, so you don't have to go through some difficulties that that they had to, and it takes time, but your abilities aren't set in stone. Remember this. They're not set in stone. Where you're at right now does not mean this is where you'll be forever. It means you can either get worse or get better, but they're not set in stone. Where you're at right now does not mean this is where you'll be forever. It means you can either get worse or get better, but they're not set in stone. They grow with effort, time and learning.

Brett:

Chris Williamson's talked about this on his podcast Modern Wisdom how really your headspace dictates your own trajectory. Screw perfection, forget about that, because it's not going to happen in your life. I'll say this again, I've said it before Jesus Christ is the only perfect person to live on this earth and you're not Jesus Christ. So aim for progress, don't think about perfection, and I think once you adapt that and you adopt that mindset, then things don't get easier, but you just become better at handling difficulty, and here's how it works for me. So I try and reframe the chatter in my mind and it's going to sound weird because I promise I don't have like thoughts. I'm not schizophrenic. I don't think about voices in my head, but do talk to myself in my head. But I have to reframe the chatter. So instead of saying like, oh man, I suck at this, I suck at podcasting, I say you know what? I'm trying to figure out how to podcast, I'm learning, I'm getting better, I'm trying to figure this thing out. I'm not great yet, but I'm figuring it out and instead of saying something like hey, I bombed that presentation, say I learned something during that that I can take into my future ones. I can't tell you how many times I've messed up a podcast episodes. One of my favorite ones, I, uh, I man.

Brett:

I interviewed my old manager. Her name's Kate Plumunden, and it was a great conversation, so good. It was at our office and we talked about like it was at our office and we talked about like he's a mom who has a career but he has twins and a son and it's like she's able to manage that and her and her husband have lost some strategies that they use to parent their kids and to make sure that they're taking care of each other while taking care of their kids. And it was such a good conversation. You ready for how dumb this is Ready? Our microphone was off and because of that it didn't actually record, so it just shut off mid, mid, not even mid. It was like the first 10 minutes of the episode. The microphone just shut off and then that stopped the recording. So I learned to always make sure to check the batteries Right, and I always talk about how episode eight of this podcast I had Stan Watts on and we were auto-tuned the whole episode and you know what I put it out there still because I'm learning and I'm trying to get better at this process.

Brett:

And so what was my lesson there? To not freaking, auto-tune us the whole time, because otherwise I don't know, we don't want to be T-Pain talking about sad stuff sometimes. That was a good episode, good content, terrible sounding, and that's the thing is like learn the hard way, but the lessons that you learn the hard way you'll never forget. You're thinking about something right now, I can guarantee it of a lesson that you learned the hard way that you're grateful that you had to go through. And it's interesting.

Brett:

I was talking to my wife about this last night because we were on the topic for some reason, about anorexia and I actually dealt with it before I got sick, which is wild, but I would eat as little as possible. And I realized looking back now it's like my energy and how I felt was terrible during that time. And then I got sick and then my weight actually plummeted, but for health reasons, but like I felt so bad and I was talking to her and I was like you know what I might like, feeling skinny or whatever it is, but I felt terrible and that's not worth it to me. Then putting myself in that situation where I feel like I have no energy, my joints hurt, I look like a skeleton. It's just a rough situation to be in.

Brett:

So I think all these things just help write your story right. All these lessons that you learn, all these areas where you're trying to get better. But, like, imagine you're training for a marathon, you don't quit because you can't run 26 miles on day one, you build up. Some people think that that's the case, but that's not. And the same goes for your mind. Like, mistakes don't expose you, they sharpen you. And when you shift to that perspective, imposter syndrome really loses its grip. Because look at it as a process and not necessarily as I'm going to do this and get X outcome.

Brett:

I'm going to do a podcast about the process versus the outcome, focusing on the process rather than the outcome, because that is something that has been so powerful in my life and I didn't even recognize it until I heard about it and I learned about it, and then I was like, oh yeah, that's what I've been trying to do. And so focusing on the process is very important, because when you focus on outcomes, if mistakes come up, if challenges arise and you don't get the outcome you desire, that's when you start thinking about your failure. That's when you start beating yourself up and talking bad about yourself. And I always love the quote from Jordan Peterson where he says treat yourself like you would treat a best friend, because ultimately, you should be your own best friend, your biggest cheerleader.

Brett:

If you're not going to take care of yourself, who else will? No one's going to come and pat you on the back when you're alone and say hey, you know what. You need to work on this presentation more. That's all on you and you need to treat yourself like that. Be like hey. So it might sound weird, but you might have to go into the mirror and be like hey, brett, let's get your crap together. We're going to go sit down for 30 minutes and I'm going to work on a, on a podcast outline, and once I get it done, then I'm going to record and then you can do whatever you want.

Brett:

Until that point you're working, and sometimes you do have to be that aggressive with yourself because, like I said, no one's going to do it for you and it's a muscle that you have to train, which will get you only places that you want to go Learning how to control your thoughts and be the general rather than the person who takes orders. Learn how to talk to yourself as someone who gets shit done I'm sorry for the language, but learn how to do it because it's so important. Now here's where you need to take strategy number four into consideration and challenge the inner critic, that voice in your head, the one that barks like hey, you don't belong here, you're going to fail. It's a punk. What do we do for punks? What do we do with punks, guys? We beat them up. Beat up the punks. Actually, don't do that. I don't want to get sued for saying that, but you should fight back. Fight back with these thoughts that are going through your head.

Brett:

I love Nick bear because he's all about mental toughness, just like how David Goggins is and a lot of other people, but he always says go one more. And it's like that's his, his business motto, that's his motto. So many people tattoo it on their bodies. What does that mean? It means like when the voice is coming into your head and saying to stop to question yourself. You ask yourself if that is real, and most of the times it's not.

Brett:

How many times have I said on this podcast sometimes I'll go out for a 10 mile run and be like I'm gonna get to 10 miles and I'm done. But then you're getting closer to 10 miles and it's like, hey, maybe I'll just keep running for a little bit and see how it goes when I get to 10, because maybe I can push it to 11. And then, let's say, you get to 11, you're still feeling good, but your body's, like your mind's telling you to stop because you already hit your goal. But if your body's feeling good, tell your mind to shut up and just get it done. Learn how to control that inner critic, but question it when it, when it says like a fraud, ask where the proof is, where's the evidence for that? Because if there's evidence, then sure I might need to change some things in my life. But if it's that, if that's just a thought I had out of the blue, it probably doesn't add up to much and it probably doesn't mean anything.

Brett:

So what I would say to that is picture yourself instead of failing. Picture yourself winning, being successful at whatever you're doing. And I know it sounds so cheesy, it is cheesy, but guess what? Sometimes cheese works and people love cheese and this works. Talking to yourself, visualizing success, it works, like science even backs it. But I've done this for big moments like picturing the win, and it's almost like a shot of adrenaline. I would not have been able to run my sub three marathon if I didn't believe that I actually could.

Brett:

And David Senra he's the host of the founders podcast. He has this quote where he says belief comes before ability, and sometimes that is true, but I think a lot of times it is like belief does come before ability. You have to believe that you can do something before you even set your sights on it Right, and obviously there has to be work that goes into it. Can't just believe that you're going to run a sub three marathon and not train for it, but if you believe that you can and you're putting in the work and you're telling yourself you're going to do it, you're going to do it. That's a much better alternative than you are training for a sub three marathon. You're like man, I'm so scared. I don't know if I can do this. I'm an imposter. I don't think I belong here. There's real good runners out there. I'm not one of them. This is my first attempt.

Brett:

Shut that voice up and think about instead winning it and what that would feel like, because a lot of the times it's a good feeling. Now this is going to sound interesting, but doubt, self-doubt is a sign of growth. I saved this one for the last because I wanted to lead up to it, talking about how self-doubt all these things imposter syndrome in its own way is a sign of growth. It's a twist, but it sounds crazy. Think about it for a second, though.

Brett:

Doubt shows up when you're on the edge of something big. That could be a new job, a new goal. It could be an uncharted territory. You might be moving or something. You're going to doubt yourself because, like I said in the beginning, you've never done it before. And going back to David Cendra, he talks about people like Rockefeller and Steve Jobs and so many great people who have done extraordinary things, like, who have founded things he talks about Michael Jordan but people who faced soul-crushing doubt but kept going.

Brett:

The whole pattern here is doubt isn't the enemy, it's a signal that you're growing. It's going to be hard to silence it at first, like I said, like muscle that needs working and if you've never felt it, you know you, you could be coasting Um, you might be safe and you might feel small, but the fear of going after the thing that you want, not even trying, should move you forward because, yes, doubt is going to happen. That's the spark of something big. I felt that same way launching this podcast Imposter syndrome, self-doubt, you call it whatever you want, but I felt that so much at the beginning of this thing. It flops, but I leaned in and here we are. I'm talking to you on episode 112.

Brett:

And if you go back and listen to a couple of episodes ago, I talked about the hero's journey. Think of it about the hero's journey. Think of it like a hero's journey. Whatever goal, whatever attempt you're going after, think of it like a hero's journey, because every epic tale, every epic movie, every great story has a moment where things get very, very dark, like about Frodo in Mordor or Rocky, before the fight doubts the test, and if you pass it and you're stronger, then next time it hits don't run. Turn back to it and smile and say, good, I'm on the right path, because last time I faced this guy it led to something amazing. That's where the magic happens.

Brett:

Let's tie this up, because imposter syndrome is a beast, and the thing is, though, it's not unbeatable. On your wins, build that proof, talk it out, share the load with other people, shift your mindset, grow and don't don't grovel Um that critic. Shut it down as soon as it comes up, and embrace that doubt, because it is your growth. Alarm it means you're on the right track. You're not alone. Legends have fought this before and won, and you can do the same, like take a breath, step up and get after it because you've earned it. At this point, if you're feeling all these things, you've earned it.

Brett:

I appreciate you guys for listening. If this helped at all, I'd love to hear about it. You can either let me know in the comments or whatever, but imposter syndrome, like I said, is something that still comes up in my life, but I just don't let it control me anymore. I don't let it have too strong of a voice, and I've learned some techniques to help shut it down when that voice creeps up, and techniques to help shut it down when that voice creeps up, and I know you can do the same.

Brett:

So when it happens next, think about it for a second question. It put it out in the light, talk about it with other people, but don't let it have power over you, because that's when it wins and that's when you fail. And if you're listening to getting after it, you're not failing. That's the opposite of what you're doing. You're moving on, you're getting better and you're striving to become the best version of yourself, just like all of us should be. So share this with someone if it helped you, and don't let an imposter syndrome win and keep getting better, my friends. Thanks for listening, guys. Coke Zero.