Getting After It

105 — Ally Rossell: Faith, Marriage, and the Wild World of True Crime

• Brett Rossell • Season 4 • Episode 105

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In this special episode, I sit down with my wife, Ally, for a conversation about discipline, creativity, and making the most out of life. 

From starting her own true crime podcast to exploring art and quilting, Ally shares how she’s been challenging herself in new ways. We also dive into the importance of presence—how being intentional in marriage, work, and personal growth leads to a more fulfilling life.

We talk about:

  • The unexpected challenges of starting a podcast (and why reps matter)
  • Discipline vs. adaptability—when structure helps and when it holds you back
  • The importance of asking deep questions in relationships and constantly learning about your partner
  • Finding balance between ambition and appreciating the moment
  • Why marriage is the biggest cheat code in life

This one is full of laughs, insights, and a whole lot of love. If you enjoy it, share it with someone who’s looking to grow, stay present, and keep getting after it.

Until next time, keep getting after it!

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I hope today’s episode sparked something within you to pursue your dreams and unlock your true potential. If you found value in it, consider sharing it with someone who might need that same push.

This podcast is built for you—the dreamers and the doers. My goal is to provide a space where you can find inspiration, learn from others, and feel empowered to chase what matters most to you.

Your dreams are within your grasp. All you need is the commitment to Get After It.

Brett:

What's going on, guys? Welcome back to the show. I have again my beautiful wife on and we talk about things that we're getting after, and it's a fun conversation, so stay tuned, let's get into it.

Ally:

Dang you look hot.

Brett:

I look so good right now.

Ally:

I know you do.

Brett:

Yeah, it's insane. Ohio state and everything.

Ally:

I'm part of the family about time yeah took a year and a half I know that's.

Brett:

That's one thing everyone should know about me. I'm not a sports guy, and so I try my best I'm a fake, but I'm not ashamed to admit it.

Ally:

So you know as long as uh, as long as you're repping the right teams when you are supporting the sports.

Brett:

Super Bowl is tomorrow.

Ally:

Correct.

Brett:

I'm going for the Eagles.

Ally:

Correct.

Brett:

Really.

Ally:

You too. Yes, of course. No one's more annoying than Patrick Mahomes. Honestly.

Brett:

Really Correct? Tell me why.

Ally:

Well, I can't say I have a strong opinion, considering I haven't been really into sports since I got married. I used to be into sports though. Yeah, you knew everything. But one thing. It's kind of like Patrick's like the LeBron, where it's like everyone's kind of annoying about him and it makes me not even really like LeBron all that much. Yeah, he's great, he's good. Kind of annoying. I'm okay with the refs not sucking him off, yeah well, I'm with you too.

Brett:

I, um, I always get sad whenever I watch the last dance or talk about michael jordan or any of those guys, because they were just monsters. They just get pushed down, beaten up, but they always were relentless you love that word I love that word so good, but anyways, baby girl, welcome back thanks glad to here. And I have a lot to talk to you about because you've been getting after it quite a bit.

Ally:

You think so, I'm honored.

Brett:

I know you have been.

Ally:

Wow, thank you.

Brett:

First and foremost.

Ally:

Yes.

Brett:

You launched a podcast yourself.

Ally:

Who would have thought I first time you had me on your podcast was the summer before we got married, and I think I had a hotel, wasn't it? Yeah, we're in perk city yeah, okay I think I had an anxiety attack. I was shaking the entire time. I sound shaky too, yeah, so uncomfortable.

Ally:

But I did it for you because I loved you that's my third highest played episode really to this day it's a ali murphy be hard, be hard to kill that's embarrassing because everyone was probably curious to see how we are as a couple, and I'm like ah.

Brett:

Well, we were dating Right, and now we're married, correct, so it's a lot different.

Ally:

Okay.

Brett:

But you started a podcast.

Ally:

Yes, and I'm shocked that we got to this point. It's called Siblings in Crime, okay.

Brett:

My brother and I started together and you love allegedly you think that's so funny, go listen to her podcast.

Ally:

It's so good. Actually, you're so funny because you give me so much credit. We're brand new. We're like what?

Ally:

seven episodes in seven, eight something like that so already lasting longer than a lot of podcasts. So I'm proud in that way. But yeah, it was a pretty rash decision. Blake just came to me one day and said we should start a true crime podcast, because we both listen to true crime nonstop. And I said okay, and I started working on it right away. And then I was like are you serious? And he's like I'm serious, I'm like I don't believe you.

Ally:

I remember the I was like I feel like he's just joking and I'm going to do all this work and he's like I was joking. Oh great, so yeah, our first three, I think we recorded. We didn't post any of those three, we posted our fourth and then we re-recorded two of them. But thank heavens, because I think already we've progressed a bit. Hopefully, we just keep progressing. But I know that's how it is with the beginning of a podcast.

Brett:

I know it takes some time how many times have I told you to go listen to episode eight of this, one which by the way, if you're listening to this one, yeah, go listen to that one. It's me and my buddy, stan, but we're auto-tuned the whole time. Horrible. But you gotta get the learning curve.

Brett:

You know it's, it's part of the process right right, get those terrible episodes done, and then it's all about the reps, it's all about the reps, and then eventually you get better, right? It's like with everything in life so it's been really fun.

Ally:

It's been a good time.

Brett:

Blake and I haven't really hung out all that much like his girlfriend obviously and I are like really good friends since we started hanging out more um but it's nice to have something that we do together and yeah, so it's been, and like we're interested in true crime, so it's been fun what's been the either biggest learning curve for you or the most challenging part of having a podcast that you didn't think you would have to run into well, I mean, we're not very far in, so I know challenges are going to come up.

Ally:

Right now it just turns out I'm just not a huge researcher journalist and Blake pays for everything and I do all the work and it's like I thought that was a great idea until I realized it does take a lot of work. It's a lot of work. I'm not a very good writer, I'm not very creative, so it's been difficult to make it like enjoyable to listen to.

Ally:

It takes more work than I was expecting. I was hoping I could just wing it, because if I knew the story I could just ablet, but it turns out I'm not great at ableting yeah, I'm the same way.

Brett:

I mean, I think that's a lot of the reasons why I struggled in the beginning is because I didn't necessarily know how to like research the topics that I was interested in and have a conversation about them and actually like be like, hey, this is valuable, but to your point it's like you figure out what's important and then you just work on that like other topic, or for you it's stories.

Ally:

Right.

Brett:

So you have to be kind of accurate with your stories. For me that's what I'm worried about it's like you can give your opinion.

Ally:

I'm like I gotta get the facts right or someone's gonna come at me one day.

Brett:

But but I think still today.

Ally:

So people suck but, I mean having your podcast, like I think all the bumps that we could have bumped into have been avoided, since you're like oh, you're gonna need to get on spotify creators and you're gonna need to get on busbrow and do this. I was like, I thought you just like, posted a video like instagram, like facebook, whatever like super easy wish so I think I have been able to avoid a lot because of you, so thank you of course you know my number one fan always will be that's right.

Ally:

So it really has just been fun right now, honestly, so I'm grateful for that, but just more work than I was expecting, which is fine, especially right now, since flying is kind of um slow for me right now.

Brett:

So that's okay. Have have you done a story that you were either just like really shocked about, or a story that, like made your skin crawl a little bit?

Ally:

Well, of course, but I hate to say it, I might be a little desensitized to the skin crawling stuff.

Ally:

Yeah, that's fair I mean, we've been watching Come to Mind since I was out of the womb, basically, and so as far as like shocking things like oh, like decapitated and all this stuff, I'm like, oh yeah, like real original, you know. Sorry, but so it's like nothing really comes that much as a shock. I think our most recent or not our most recent, but the one before that where it was the case of a missing child who went on to end up go to the same high school as her actual blood sister, unknowingly- yeah, that's insane, and they became friends.

Ally:

One thing led to another Found out the kidnapped child, her parents, were actually her kidnappers, and so stories like that, like that, is wild.

Brett:

That one's sad because you told me to like so to jump in if I get anything wrong here. Me to like so to jump in if I get anything wrong here. But pretty much like the original mother had the child in the hospital, right, and then was it a nurse or who stole the child yeah, just a random lady she's walked in and stole the kid yeah, she.

Ally:

She was pregnant like prior. She lost her baby in a miscarriage, and so she lined it with when she's going to be giving birth so that she could bring a baby home more unexpectedly or more unsuspiciously that's insane and so yeah, she just while the mom was napping yeah grabbed the baby and dipped that's horrible ended up raising the baby like two miles down the road type of thing yeah, and in a good home, though, right like yeah, they didn't have any issues, that's also a weird thing, like not your typical kidnapping story

Ally:

where it was like abuse going on or ransom super loving mom, super loving dad, great family. It's just they wanted a baby and couldn't have their own, and she was gonna have one one way or the other yeah, that's insane.

Brett:

So then, what happened after they figured out they were sisters in high school? Right what happened then?

Ally:

uh, that'd be so heartbreaking for the. The girl who was kidnapped because she loved her parents didn't suspect anything, yeah. And so to find out, they're your kidnappers, have your home ripped apart. She still has a good relationship with her kidnapped. Yeah, kidnapper, parents kidnapped dad with her dad okay evidently he didn't know that the wife kidnapped this baby. What, yeah?

Brett:

he's like oh, you just came home with a baby, even though you had a miscarriage well, she didn't know, she had a miscarriage she never told her she never told him that she had that. She had a miscarriage. Yeah, I didn't know that part.

Ally:

So evidently he thought the baby was his and I don't know how, but allegedly, allegedly. He didn't know, and so he still has a great relationship with that daughter. She now is like really close with her biological family and they're all together, so like she's obviously had a lot of repairing to do with her life, realizing like your whole identity. She was 17 when she found out, so her name was fake, her family was was fake, so finding out she changed her name to her biological name, yeah.

Brett:

What would you do?

Ally:

Probably change my name If, like your kidnapper mom named you. You'd be probably want to, but that'd be hard Cause, like your, your name carries a lot of weight but, I'd have to weigh the two options Like which name do I like better? Yeah, what is it?

Brett:

jason or brett. I'd pick brett. That's fair.

Ally:

Yeah, I don't want to be a jason.

Brett:

I didn't know you had beef with jason's I mean, they're just not a very creative name. Sorry, jason's out there, I'm just kidding yeah.

Ally:

So I mean I think she's doing well now. The podcast I watched that she was on, she was telling her story. She wants her mom got out of jail last year but she's on probation now and I guess she wants to go. Her mom, yeah, um, she wants to go ask her questions, find out like how she like, how she pulled this off. How did no one know, like, did anyone else know? Ask some of those questions. So I don't think she's gotten a lot of answers. I think it's just probably starting to get her life together. She's now married.

Ally:

She has three kids wow yeah, the social worker that helped her during this time. She actually lived with that social worker for a little bit instead of a safe house. She went to her wedding and stuff. So like she has a great relationship with those that helped her.

Brett:

When did this all happen? Like what year?

Ally:

2015 is when it unfolded that she was found. That's crazy. This is in South Africa, Okay all right so you probably didn't hear the story, that's okay. But still insane. Yeah, so she was born, I think 97. She was like our age.

Brett:

Yeah.

Ally:

Yeah, found in. That doesn't make sense. 17 and 2015 does that make sense? It should be 98, then she's born 98 okay, born in 98, so I'm bad at math it's okay yeah, found in 2015 and uh, yeah, been doing pretty well I guess since then.

Brett:

But yeah, tell me the story about the, the one that's like indiana jones and the temple of doom. I have no idea what you're talking about?

Ally:

you've never seen the temple of doom. No, really, what makes this story?

Brett:

okay. So let me tell you the Temple of Doom I have no idea what you're talking about You've never seen the Temple of Doom.

Ally:

No, really, what makes this?

Brett:

story like that. Okay, so I'm going to tell you the story of Temple of Doom, and then you'll understand.

Ally:

Okay.

Brett:

So there's this cult that Indiana Jones goes after and he finds out that the leaders are doing human sacrifices and he's the guy.

Ally:

You've really never seen this movie I don't think I think I've seen indiana jones, but I mean, my memory is like local fish okay, we'll have to watch this, but anyway.

Brett:

So this guy, he has this power or something where he's able to reach in and grab people's hearts while they're like still beating.

Ally:

It sounds like scooby-doo zombie island or not um spooky on spooky island.

Brett:

Yeah, yeah, okay those vibes with the souls yeah yeah, except they're they. These guys die, oh great, and then they get lowered into like a lava pit oh gosh, after their hearts ripped out.

Ally:

Wait, this sounds familiar actually. Yeah, did the chick of the story like almost go down into the lava pit?

Brett:

yeah, she was like in the chamber thing she didn't get.

Ally:

I saw some of that at the gym the other day. Actually, I think it was playing in the chamber thing. I think, I saw some of that at the gym the other day. Actually, I think it was playing in the cinema.

Brett:

Really, that's all I remember from it, but yeah, that kind of thing.

Ally:

Magdalena Solis.

Brett:

Yes, about Magdalena.

Ally:

Magdalena, poor girl. She really had a rough start. She didn't have a chance at life, yeah, but yeah grew up in poverty. She went on to be prostitute in mexico her brother was her pimp a couple years older than her. Yeah, it's sad things.

Brett:

I think he prostituted a little bit, I probably pimp out drew yeah, drew would be okay with it drew, would you like to be pimped out?

Ally:

I think we have a good business plan he would love that honestly if he wasn't married and happy and stuff yeah, yeah, that's fair it'd be great. So I think that's all they so their upbringing, already messed up. Yeah Right, and that causes some mental things sometimes. And anyways, are these two brothers Hernandez brothers? I want to say.

Brett:

It sounds like the guys that killed their parents. That's the Mendez brothers, the Mendez okay, see, I don't know true crime.

Ally:

But so they really just want to take advantage of people. They wanted money and power, all the things, and they came across this town, a little village in yerba bueno, I think it's called yerba bueno, which is where mexico central mexico or central south, I think okay um, don't fact check me. What do I know? Geography, my worst, worst in math. And so they just wanted to take advantage of these people, gain power.

Ally:

So they told these people that they are these prophets basically sent from the Inca gods and these villagers there's only like 70 people for a small village they believed them. They went out in the caves, they ended up living in these caves and these so-called prophets, these brothers, decided that they were going to say that the god sent them and that they will receive riches if they follow what the brothers say. And so they took advantage of them sexually big time, yeah, but really took everything they had. And then the village wasn't believing them all of a sudden. And so they're like we need another sign. Let's go find the Aztec goddess reincarnated. And that's when they went and found Magdalena Solis and her brother. So they brought these siblings back to the cave, saying that's the reincarnated Aztec goddess Cuatulicue if I'm saying that, right, I probably butchered it 17,000 times I don't know, I think it sounds good.

Brett:

And so they said this is another. What Is that? Like Quetzalcoatl.

Ally:

I don't know what that is.

Brett:

We went to those temples.

Ally:

Oh, that's what they were called.

Brett:

That's the god, the god Quetzalcoatl, the snake god.

Ally:

Oh, the snake god, oh yeah, also in ancient apocalypse, what do I know? Is it not that one? No, okay, okay, she's um, she's like the goddess of, like the sun and rebirth and stuff like that, I think oh, you showed me her statue and it's like the weirdest looking monster looking thing. She's a snake serpent yeah, okay, we don't like snakes yeah, her skirt is like made of snakes and stuff like that let's get you one of those, a snake skin skirt.

Brett:

Kind of hot, kind of hot but she, yeah.

Ally:

So they pretended that she was this reincarnated goddess. That's another sign from the gods that they're gonna get riches and stuff like that. So then they started obeying again, just so they can take. They were having orgies the whole nine yards, like getting super doped up, yeah, and they got to get high and have orgies in a cave.

Ally:

Yeah, whoa it got to quatili quay's head, magdalena thought that she really was this goddess. Yeah, and so, to go along with the stories of quatili quay, she started performing human sacrifice, and so they would get their villagers on the brink of death and then cut out their heart while it's still beating.

Brett:

But didn't the villagers beat her or beat the person that was going to get their heart ripped out or something?

Ally:

No, they were just getting clapped.

Brett:

Oh dang.

Ally:

Some of the non-believers were the ones that would get murdered. It wasn't until a young 13-, 13 year old boy came across this cave, saw what was happening, dipped over to the police station and him and a cop went to investigate, and then those two actually ended up getting murdered as well by the cult jeez, so how many total were killed?

Ally:

I think, like the bodies they found, like on record was like seven or eight, but they think it was up to like 15 or so because people were missing. They even think that some people were sent out and sex trafficked, which is so sad.

Brett:

But what year is this?

Ally:

this is not that long ago, I think the 60s, okay. So now, like I was thinking, like this had to be in the 1800s, like this is a long time ago. Yeah, not as long back as you thought, but yeah. So when the cop went missing, that's when the like authorities went out to go find out what's going on, found the colt, took him in, and I mean by now magdalena and her brother should be out of, like they would be out of jail. They finished their sentence. I imagine, if they're still alive, they changed their identities all the nine yards, but yeah yeah that's insane heartbreaking and it's like just shows you how like you

Brett:

can deceive anyone.

Ally:

Yeah, and the fact that they, I mean magdalena was like 14 when she was reincarnated goddess, supposedly. So she just got dealt like, she got put in the situations where I think she was just very mentally ill.

Brett:

at this point, power went to her head a little bit. That's brutal.

Ally:

Pretty heartbreaking, pretty crazy story.

Brett:

I mean, I've told you this a few times your podcast and Mr Bollins are like the only true crime ones I listen to. I listen to yours more than Mr Bollins.

Ally:

You don't really like true crime. You listen to mine because you like me.

Brett:

That's the thing you listen? To mine because you like me. That's the thing is like I can't really listen to true crime because it like makes me sad right, how do you balance that like?

Ally:

does that ever get in your head? Not really, probably, because I'm like used to it. Yeah, it is really sad. Sometimes it affects me, especially with kids, like I don't like kid stuff yeah it's really sad, but I think because I've listened to it so much, I can I kind of associate more with the story rather than reality. So when I hear stories that are more close to home it affects me stronger. But I think I just compartmentalize. I think that a lot of women are like this, though.

Brett:

Well, I know, women are like most true crime listeners.

Ally:

I think the reason being is we're just prepping in case something happens, because, like okay, this is actually so funny. The other night, listeners Brett and I were in bed. This is like last week or something. We're trying to fall asleep. I'm daydreaming, right. I'm like, okay, if someone breaks in, I'm going to like, attack them. I have bear spray next to the bed. We're going to fight. I'm going to attack him. I have bear spray next to the bed.

Ally:

We're going to fight. I'm thinking of our exit route. I'm going all in and I think about this stuff probably every single night.

Brett:

Do you think about, if they were to come in the window, how you'd act different than if they were to come through the door?

Ally:

I never imagined them coming through the window. I'll be honest. I feel like that's where they would come from, at least in our room.

Brett:

You.

Ally:

So then they have to move the big crate thing.

Brett:

Yeah, but then they don't have to go through the front door or anything.

Ally:

Yeah, I guess. I imagine they'll come through the back door.

Brett:

But anyways, as horrible as that is, you guys can't come in. I'm locking them.

Ally:

So I'm thinking of all this stuff and then, as I'm trying to fall asleep, brett leans over. What did you say?

Brett:

When was this?

Ally:

Last week. He says something on the lines of like it was something like so sweet, like he was thinking about I can't remember exactly what it was, but you're like do you think that yada, yada, yada, like if we did this, like it was so sweet? And I'm like is that really what you're thinking about right now? And you're like yeah, I was like I'm thinking about like what if we're getting attacked? And you're like incapacitated and I'm beating this man up, I'm like like wow, that was like. You're having like such jolly thoughts.

Ally:

You're just sitting on your log talking to Jesus and your daydream.

Brett:

Yeah, that's probably what it was. Um, I always do that. I'd sit and talk with Jesus before bed but, I don't know. I mean, I think about that stuff just during the day.

Ally:

Yeah.

Brett:

Like I think I'm John Wick sometimes.

Ally:

I also feel that way about myself.

Brett:

Yeah.

Ally:

I think I can handle myself, and then, like I know you can, I say that, and then I say that, and then in a real situation I think it helps, because I had a brother that like bullied me, not actually, but like Older brothers are legit.

Brett:

Yeah, they teach you a lot, and so I'm like, and so I'm like okay, like could I actually like?

Ally:

this sounds so weird. Like to this day, blake's like fighting me. You know, we're like I'm 27,. He's 30. I'm like you're so freaking old, stop tackling me.

Brett:

Like we're full blown adults yeah.

Ally:

And so, anyways, I think I've gotten the practice in of like how to wrestle and attack and beat up and stuff.

Brett:

That's actually one of my favorite things that your family does is jump out and scare you from random places in the house.

Ally:

It's great and it's bad all at the same time. Like I, that never really happened to me.

Brett:

Oh really, yeah, growing up, no, I thought that was every family I never really like my brother wasn't waiting around the corner and to jump out and scare me, he would just push me. Um, that's funny, but I remember this one time I walk out of our room and your brother's he's like slowly walking up the hallway and he just goes.

Ally:

Ah, yeah, and I was like ah, like it got me so good, got me so good and like you know how I react.

Brett:

You came in and scared me the other day and I was just like well, I've tried to scare you, you don't get scared.

Ally:

And then I walk in the room quietly and you see me and you're like flinch, so hard yeah it's because I'm like deep in thought I'm almost never deep in thought. I'll be honest like nothing's going through this wheel at any time.

Brett:

I'm doing laundry or something. I just like think about the day or like if I have a podcast I'm going to be doing like I think about that, or like I'll think about. You know, jesus, like if we listen to a conference talk, I'll think about that yeah and then I don't know. Then you just come in and disturb it.

Ally:

Yeah, yeah, I like really things go in one year out the other, so often for me.

Brett:

But it's okay, it's been fun. So now I scare you a little bit now.

Ally:

Yeah, I like getting scared. I like scaring. I think it's fun.

Brett:

I'll post the video that uh Allie took of me the other day, where I was walking out of the bathroom and you were right there and you scared me, but my reaction is just like yeah, it's like as if, like, I just steal the breath from you for a second yeah, that's how you react I mean, you do take my breath away. Oh, take my breath away, okay.

Ally:

One thing about my mom yeah, I know the song or no, I'm not gonna let you sing okay, love you, though tell me about your mom one thing about my mom she doesn't get scared. She think like I'll park down the street, be in a dark house stone cold she thinks that I'm not like no one. She doesn't know I'm in town. Okay, I do all the things to set this up. She walks to the door. I like scream, grab her and she's like no emotion, just okay she really is stone face it's wild, hilarious.

Brett:

I don't think I've ever seen you scare her. I don't think I've ever been able to scare her.

Ally:

Absolutely not. I've been trying to scare her my whole life.

Brett:

Yeah, I want to learn how to do that.

Ally:

Her emotions are so flatlined it's like barely any increase or decrease from her natural state. It's impressive.

Brett:

Yeah, she's pretty wild. I mean, I wish I could be like that you're pretty tender these days don't say that will look at me and start crying because he's so yeah, no, it's true okay, it's very sweet I mean, you guys see her oh my gosh stop she's amazing you're hilarious tell me what else have you been getting after, because it's a long list I'm gonna say that long um I think you're trying to tap into your creative piece.

Ally:

I'm trying. I feel like I have some artistic ability not strong, but it's there but the creative part I suck at. I can look at something, I can draw it, I can paint it. Coming up with something on my own doesn't happen, so I'm trying to do that right now. This is like really this one chapter in 2 Kings 6. Tell me about it, I've been loving it. It's basically the story of Elisha and he's with his servant and they see they're getting swarmed by armies.

Brett:

Yeah.

Ally:

And the servant's like holy cow, we got to get out of here. Like he's freaking out and Elisha is like like that's the famous scripture, I'm gonna butcher it, but along the lines of like there's more that be with us than them, with them, yeah, and he goes on to pray that the servant's eyes can be opened to see this like army of god yeah and the servant's eyes are opened and he can see like the chariots of heaven open.

Ally:

And I just have been thinking about that a lot and we've had some like sadness going on in the world right now and just like all the plane crashes, and we've had some friends who've passed and it's just been like a sad time and I always just keep thinking about there's more that be with us and so I'm trying I have such strong feelings about that for some reason and it's been really resonating with me I want to paint it and I'm having a hard time being creative with it and thinking of like how to get my feelings and like to get the inspiration that's coming to me onto the canvas. So I'm working on that but I just don't think I can paint as beautifully as I can imagine, and so I mean, that's the thing.

Brett:

It's like maybe not right now, but the more you do it, the better you'll get Right. And I was talking to, uh, our aunt right. Cause you're married to these things and how you're painting, and I showed her a picture of like the progress that you're making right now and she said it's really cool to um be able to like have a look into your wife's testimony that's cute and like how you view the gospel and like how you view angels on the other side and things like it's hard to talk about this thing sometimes and actually get the point across that you're trying to make.

Brett:

Or like here's what I learned in reading second kings. Like you can tell that story of elisha and it's elisha elisha elisha. You can tell that story of him and his servant and like, have people like imagine what that looks like, but you draw it out and you say like there's way more with us than there are with them, and then you show, like all the angels of heaven and everything, um, like I think that's an amazing thing. Is it's just your perspective on angels?

Ally:

Yeah, it's very hard to articulate it, yeah.

Brett:

It's kind of frustrating, honestly, honestly yeah, what do you like? What's your process? How do you think about that stuff?

Ally:

I just been rereading it, praying about it. I imagine it.

Brett:

I'm a daydreamer yeah, but I.

Ally:

I just want someone else to paint it, and I've been looking online. I was like I will buy someone's painting, paint this verse for me, and I just have not found what I'm looking for. I mean, none of this is speaking to me the way the verses do, and so I'm trying to do it on my own.

Brett:

But that's pretty cool so it's been difficult.

Ally:

It's gonna be a long process, I think, because even as I pay I'm like, oh, I'm gonna fix a lot of this stuff, yeah. So hopefully the painting is forgivable so I can continue to fix it. But it's been fun so far. One thing about me I'll paint for like six hours one day and then not paint for like two months, and so it's going to be hard.

Brett:

When we were first married, you painted a lot.

Ally:

Yeah, when we were first married, I didn't really have anything going on. I was like waiting for my job to start, waiting for training to start. So, it's like it was fun.

Brett:

It. It's waiting for training to start, so it's like it was fun. It's been fun to see honestly like you tapping into that again and getting therapeutic for me. Yeah, try and take it up like a next level and be like okay, how can I make this even more beautiful?

Ally:

right. Well, painting has always been something stupid for me. Like I want to go brain dead, I'll go paint, and usually it's like stupid memes or like hateful mosh philia, like stupid we have some good ones.

Brett:

They're all done. No, no, say that. No, no, no, no. Scooby Doo Under the Sea is great.

Ally:

Under the Sea. It's just. There's this painting that she made with.

Brett:

There's four characters. Each is a different sea animal. There's a turtle.

Ally:

I think there's five characters, is there?

Brett:

five. There's a turtle, a jellyfish, a shark and an octopus. I think that's it.

Ally:

I think you're right, actually it's.

Brett:

Theo Vaughn as a turtle, donald Trump as a jellyfish, steve Harvey as the shark and then the octopus.

Ally:

Dwayne the Rock Johnson, You're right actually.

Brett:

And it's beautiful I love it.

Ally:

Wow, thank you, it's my favorite, yeah, so I usually paint stupid stuff like that just because it's fun. And I ask her yeah, but you didn't ask me for that one. I think you wanted to see animals and I went with the route of making them all characters.

Brett:

See two minds create something beautiful.

Ally:

Right, so usually all my paintings are gifts and just silly stuff, so it's my first time actually trying. Oh, I love it and coming up with my own concept, instead of just taking a jellyfish or whatever.

Brett:

I like it.

Ally:

So it's been fun.

Brett:

What about quilting?

Ally:

so that's been fun. What about, uh quilting? You begin into that? I have been. I bought my first sewing machine. Hopefully it lasts until I'm 100, like everybody else's sewing machines, evidently.

Brett:

Yeah, it's right over here yeah, you can probably see it actually yes I don't have my studio set up for two people downstairs yet, so you get the sewing machine in the background.

Ally:

Yeah, unfortunately but she's brand new, so she adds some nice creativity to her image I think it's fun, like it's fun seeing you up here sewing away and like telling me a podcast.

Brett:

Yeah, telling me about the, the blankets that you're making and all that stuff I'm only making one right now, yeah, but I'm making it for my friend oh it's. It's not a secret, never mind.

Ally:

I mean it's not a secret in terms of like she doesn't know what it looks like.

Brett:

Okay, that's fair.

Ally:

But she's due in April I think, and so it's my first baby blanket and hopefully it turns out. So far it's been so cute and so fun it looks good. I haven't been able to work on it all that much. I've been in Arizona nonstop.

Brett:

It's been a lot it's been frustrating. That's been kind of tough, honestly.

Ally:

Yeah.

Brett:

Distance sucks.

Ally:

This last trip was the longest one in a while. I was starting to lose my mind.

Brett:

It's horrible. That is one thing that you and I have talked about, though is like distance does make you appreciate what you have.

Ally:

And like you came up yesterday and I was like so fun, like I'm taking a half day screw this, and then we just hung out for the rest of the day and it was so fun yeah, it's like it does stink, but also like when your time is together, you're like it's so much more valuable, because I mean I got in town yesterday morning and I leave after this podcast and so we had like a day together. It feels like, and so it's so frustrating, so it's like you want to spend every second together, since we don't have that opportunity to like just hang out tomorrow or whatever, and so it's been special, because then we make like the moments count.

Brett:

Yeah, how do you do that? How do you appreciate the moment? Cause that's one thing you and I have talked about a lot is staying present and making sure that, like you're in the moment that you are, because that's the only moment that matters right now.

Ally:

Right, I think it helps. One we're like never on our phones when we're together. I know some couples love like doom scrolling together like in bed. That's their favorite part is they're both just like rolling on their phone. I don't know if we've ever had our phones in bed like when we're together. I don't think yeah, maybe not.

Brett:

The only thing I would say is like, if we're watching tiktoks, like I'll come over and cuddle you and or like you'll come over we'll watch one phone or something yeah, it lasts like three minutes and I feel like that's like if we're just during the day, like after work, not like before bed, type of stuff.

Ally:

That's true, but yes, I think we really just try and like be fully engulfed in each other's conversation, like our conversation, yeah, and I don't know, I think it helps that we talk about how grateful we are all the time, like, oh my gosh, it's gorgeous outside.

Brett:

We'll just go stand and look out the window, you know, as I think you made fun of me yesterday because I it was like starting to snow, he's like an old man. I went out and like hands behind his back yeah, I looked out of the window and I was just looking outside because it's just gorgeous and like the snow was falling and I was just taking a moment. Now he goes. What are you looking out there for? Oh?

Ally:

man just like watching the birds I yeah, I, I think it's just practice to get to that point where you can appreciate to slow down. I think everything is just meant to be sped up right now, like everything is so fast and so taking a moment to just hang out, slow down. I think it just takes practice, yeah and talk to each other.

Brett:

Yeah, of course that's honestly like if I have marriage advice to give anyone, it would just be spend time with your person always getting to know them and like, don't pull the phone out, don't try and get distracted. Ask them about, like what they're interested in and like their days and what bothers them.

Ally:

It does crack me up sometimes, because this is one thing that you're good at that I still am like surprised about. A little bit is like we do dinner together every night when we can, you know, like literally we set the table like we have the full dinner, not just like at the bar stools, you know.

Brett:

Yeah.

Ally:

And sometimes with placemats and we have placemats we like. We set the table for dinner every night but then it's the same thing.

Brett:

It's like broccoli cauliflower rice chicken.

Ally:

I mean it's not fancy, but we're like set in the scene to be able to spend time together.

Brett:

Yeah.

Ally:

And one thing about you that always cracks me up and I've never told you this is that you really are good at always like getting to know me. Because I'm like, oh, we're married, like we basically know everything about each other, but you don't ask me like interview type of questions where, like I talk about a hard day, okay, what's the biggest lessons you've learned since starting aviation? I'm like that is so funny like interview type questions. I want to know, I know, but it's like it's funny to me because I'm like I've never I mean, maybe couples do that, but that's one thing I wasn't expecting in marriage is to be like talking as if we're always on first dates sometimes yeah, I, I mean that's fair.

Brett:

I um, I like to think that I'm becoming an expert in everything I do in my career and running and the podcast, but especially my spouse and you, and I believe that we're pretty much one, like we're sealed and everything.

Brett:

And why would I not do that? Like, why would I not try and get to know the person that I love the most? And so it's like anytime that I I want to learn about, like I don't know getting after it, or something like that, I want to know my wife's opinion first. So like, yeah, when I ask you questions of hey, what did you learn in aviation this past year that you didn't expect to learn, or something like that, it's like I want to know what she's getting after and what she's learned, because I'd rather listen to you than Tony Robbins or someone else you know. And then it just makes our relationship better and I get to know, you know what frustrates you and what makes you excited, and all those things. It's just fun. Like getting to know a person on that level, I think also makes you just more comfortable with that person, which leads to you don't need to be on your phone so much you're just with them right, I think you're very good at that.

Ally:

I just was like surprised, but it's fun because I like when you it's like to see and to be loved, right, yeah, and I feel like the more that we just continue to like ask questions and just know each other better and better. It's not that I think that we have so much to learn because, like we really are, we spend all of our time together, so I feel like we do know each other really well. But like those like questions that you just really don't ask people, like that you're close with like you don't think about that.

Ally:

But then it's like you know what makes me frustrated. Better know, like, what I like and what I don't like. And so then when the time comes, like and something's bothering me, you have a pretty good idea of what it is because you know what has bothered me and all these other categories, because you literally kind of study me in a good way, but it sounds creepy I think it makes our marriage stronger Just always trying to understand how the other person's brain works, because even though we're one, we both work very differently.

Brett:

Yeah, that's, very true.

Ally:

Very, very different. What have you?

Brett:

learned about me. That surprised you.

Ally:

I wasn't expecting how?

Brett:

what's the right word? Go on, you don't have to censor it.

Ally:

I'm not censoring, I just I have our family is very with the flow. I have never I have seen just like such a rigid routine and I think you have loosened up a bit and I've become more strict so we have balance. But that's just one thing I didn't know about you like until we lived together. I didn't know as much Is that you're very good at sticking with the same routine yeah, I actually I learned something from jocko the other day.

Brett:

Okay, I forgot he talks about this, but he says that discipline is is critical, like you need to be disciplined. But then he asked a question he's like can you overdo discipline? And his answer was yes, you for sure can.

Ally:

Wow.

Brett:

And so he said you can get so, um, he used the word target fixation, which is when you're in war and like you only see one target. You're not looking at, like your peripherals or anything like that, so you're just staring at the one, and he's like that can happen to you in daily life, like if you get so disciplined with working out, that's your life and you're neglecting time with your family, or you're neglecting time at work because you're so disciplined with working out, then that's going to have a negative effect on your life. And the same thing can be said about anything that you do, like I could be so disciplined where I'm, like I'm only going to talk to Allie but then like my social skills would tank and then you'd probably get annoyed with me and like all these things.

Brett:

But I think there is a point where you can overdo discipline because, like you need to be disciplined, you have to have that to have success and to um help with consistency. But if you're not, like if you're neglecting other areas of your life because you're so disciplined in one, it's negative and and so that is one thing I'm like okay, well for me. Yes, you're so patient with me when we go on vacations. I struggle quite a bit on vacations.

Ally:

Vacations are our toughest.

Brett:

I will say but I'm learning, I'm proud I'm getting a little bit less rigid, like you said, and it's definitely something that's tested me, and that's one thing, honestly, that I think I probably needed to learn is how to be a little bit more flexible, and you've taught me that. You've taught me how to do that, so that's another reason I want to know how your brain ticks so I can learn how to be a little bit less rigid. It's like what works for you can work for me.

Ally:

It's just so funny to think that some people's strength or other people's weaknesses, like I. One thing about me, not that discipline. If there's chocolate chips in the cupboard, I'm eating them and that's just how it goes. I will say the only thing I've ever seen brett not disciplined is his granola bars, oh geez I have never seen a man put down granola bars the way Brett does.

Ally:

I bought two Costco boxes of granola bars. He ate the first box so fast and evidently and this is when I'm out of town and he only does it when I'm out of town Evidently he was getting deep into the second box. He threw away the other 60 bars in there. Listen.

Brett:

I don't know what it is. It's like I'll read or do something and I'll eat like 15. That's 1,500 calories. And then, like in my head I'm like, oh you know, I'm an athlete, I probably need some more. I'm an athlete, I'll go and like, grab like five more and be like that's only 2,000 calories. I ran 10 miles today. I got like 2,000 more.

Ally:

I could eat. You're so ridiculous.

Brett:

And then I'll just tell myself these stories and then go down there. I just love them. That's really it.

Ally:

I just love them. The shocking thing to me is not that you're overeating your calories in any other food. I've only ever seen you eat granola bars like this.

Brett:

Yeah.

Ally:

I don't really think I have a reason or an an answer for that on why that's the case, I think I just love them.

Brett:

That cracks me up, so we're not allowed to buy granola bars. I always say fat brett, he's in there. He's in there and he lurks he lurks in there and sometimes, like when I'm I don't know, I've been playing video games a little bit more recently I have noticed that as well, all these habits coming out when I'm out of town well, I gotta keep myself busy. But the one. There's no explanation for that. But when I'll go into that, I'll get into old habits.

Ally:

That makes sense.

Brett:

And I think it's something that I think everyone goes through. It's like old habits are always there and then you have it for a second and you're like man. That was kind of nostalgic.

Ally:

Especially when it was like, yeah, like you enjoyed it back in the day yeah, but then I feel like crap now and it's like I gotta stop.

Brett:

So to your point. Yes, we're not allowed to have granola bars in the home for a while and that's okay.

Ally:

I was a little bummed to come home to no granola bars I was a little bummed to come home to no sourdough okay, I've been out of town for a week, cut it out I'm just kidding, no, but with jo saying like it's, you can't have too much discipline, how do you think that being married has affected your discipline? I'm curious. Because I feel like you were really disciplined before we got married. I didn't know to what extent.

Brett:

Yeah.

Ally:

We got married crazy disciplined. How do you think it's changed?

Brett:

I think I've gotten better with discipline. I think I've gotten better with discipline. Um, I think with marriage specifically, what I'm learning is that you go through certain things in life and you have to be, you have to learn how to be disciplined in this new area so we'll say marriage, like you have to learn how to what discipline looks like in marriage, and it means for me, sacrifice, like I always tell you that I always think of you first before myself, like you always come first before me, and I think that there's a lot to that. But it requires discipline, because then you can fall into. Like you know, I had a long day at work. I don't want to make dinner like I'm just gonna go sit on the couch, ali can make dinner.

Ally:

Like which I can, and I feel bad how often you make no, no I know that.

Brett:

but you know I love cooking and you know like it's important to me and I love providing something for you where we're able to share a meal together and did I just say that weird? They said together anyways. But I think it is important, and so discipline has taught me to um, not sacrifice, but forget about myself a little bit more, and you have to. I think that's the discipline that comes from marriage. Then also, I think my discipline's gotten stronger because I have something more to live for now, like I have a wife and she expects me to be healthy and to take care of myself and I want to be there for her my entire life and I have to stay disciplined with taking care of myself and not eating 64 granola bars in two days, and, like I, it's just important, and so it also makes me work harder at work, like I'm, like I want to make sure that I can buy Allie nice things and take care of her and we can go out to dinner and not have to worry about the price tag kind of thing, and we're very blessed. But a lot of it comes from discipline, and so I don't know. I think it's almost like my discipline has two X'd when, when we're together, like when you're here, it's very rare I miss a workout in the morning, like it's, unless we're cuddling. But like I don't know, I just one. I want to make you proud. I want you to be proud of the husband that you have, so it's like that drives me too. And like you're not gonna be proud of a husband that sits on the couch and eats cheetos you might, might, but you'd probably be more proud of a husband that gets after it. And so, like I don't know, I just think about those kinds of things too.

Brett:

And like I've wanted to learn more and I've taken investing more seriously because, like I have two people to plan for now and hopefully three and four, you know, it's like I just want to provide a good life for you and I want to be the best husband it can be, and so that requires a lot of discipline, requires a lot of sacrifice, but it's worth it. Like 20, 30, 40 times over, it's worth it. And having someone that I always tell you this, that believes in in me, and that is like my biggest strength, is the best thing that's ever happened to me. And so, yeah, like I will learn everything about you because I love you and you're my best friend and I want to, and then I'm going to work super hard in every area of my life so that we can have a great life. And I don't know, you're just like the most important thing to me, so I don't know why I wouldn't be disciplined in that area.

Ally:

That was a good answer.

Brett:

Was it.

Ally:

That was sweet. Yes, it seems like I mean. You talked about this a little bit on your last couple podcasts, but it seems like what you're saying has to do with there's a lot of adaptability and discipline. And I feel like that's not as talked about, because this one you kind of think of like you have consistency consistency.

Brett:

You have to be adaptable, with consistent, but also discipline. You're right.

Ally:

Well, what I mean by that is if, like how you were saying in the other podcast, if you're so like what you were saying, like if you're so disciplined in your workouts like that's all that matters, and like you're narrow visioned, then it could be a fault. If you are so disciplined and be creating a life for us for me and our future kids because you're working so hard, you're working out so hard, if you're doing these things for me but you're not adapting to spending time with us and being present. Discipline has so many different avenues and you can be disciplined in one thing but still be flexible enough to include other aspects. And I feel like you've been talking about that a lot with your other podcasts and how it's important to be able to reevaluate and make sure your discipline's, where it needs to be, focus on the right things. I guess, and I think you've been doing really well at taking in all the things that you want to be disappointed in and putting the right energy where you need to have them.

Brett:

so I appreciate that yeah, I appreciate it too, so it's been fun yeah, let's say it's been really fun.

Ally:

I feel like it's always a learning curve when you get married. You move in, you have new routines, new lifestyles and of course, it was like a transition when we got married. But it's fun when you start spending more and more time together and you realize like you're like kind of like your role. Yeah, it's like okay, while you're making dinner, I'm setting the table, while you're doing this, I'm doing this. You know it's like we kind of get into your routines, but also it can be flexible, like okay, I'm making dinner, this time that means now you're setting the table. It's like unspoken things.

Brett:

That I think helps make our home run smoothly yeah, I think that's from your discipline the right areas. Well, you're also very disciplined. You said that you're not because I would not have married a discipline, undisciplined person that's true.

Ally:

Maybe I put on a facade.

Brett:

I think you do I think you think that you're not. I mean, we're training right now for team tim's in two weeks is it two weeks? About two weeks.

Ally:

Yeah, 23rd yeah, something like that, so came up quick team tim.

Brett:

I mean, you have to be consistent in that, you have to be disciplined and running. And you're setting up everything for that, like the shirts, the dinner, I assume, or the lunch, whatever, and all that kind of stuff, like you're leading that, and then we have a marathon coming up in june. Um, that requires a lot of discipline that one's gonna spank my tushy it's gonna be tough.

Brett:

Um, hopefully nick bears healed up by then. Please, nick, I want to race against you. Um, but the other thing, too, is like in your career, like your discipline, as with being a pilot, you learn things that come your way, like new protocols or whatever procedures that you have to learn, and then, like you're always on top of it, you're always there ready for work. Like that's discipline. Like the fact that I have to take you to the airport after this, like the fact that you're in Arizona is discipline, and you're very disciplined with faith. Like that's one thing that I think you cannot overlook is your discipline of faith, like and what I mean by that is one, obviously, you study, you learn and you do the things that are important. But then, two, you also like obey the commandments. Like you're not out there stealing and killing people. So even though you listen to true crime, you're not doing it.

Ally:

The stories aren't about me.

Brett:

That's fair.

Ally:

That's where it matters Well, thank. The stories aren't about me, that's fair. That's where it matters well, thank you. That means a lot. I think I try to put my or like what the discipline things you're saying with faith. I think that one probably, besides faith and family, yeah, those definitely are where I strive to put all that energy into I think that's one thing that everyone thinks is that they're not disciplined right because because sometimes it feels like you have to choose the hard stuff, you know yeah, but sometimes I'm like, okay, I have to go to work if I want my job.

Ally:

It doesn't take discipline, that's like a responsibility yeah and it's like the discipline I feel like comes from doing the things that aren't required of you but you're doing for a better life. And so it's like going to work yeah, I don't have a choice because I want a job but it's like not eating the chocolate chips, and I guess running could be included, since we're choosing to run and stuff and have a healthy lifestyle we're very blessed that we can right, and so I feel like that discipline.

Ally:

It's sometimes hard to identify when my discipline is like in weird areas right now, like you're watching your discipline, it's like all really impressive help, like life improving things, and my discipline's like I gotta finish my blanket in time for the baby shower, like, which is nice dumb things though, but like it doesn't affect me either way, you know but it's gonna affect the person you give it to I hope so it's going to be a nice thing.

Brett:

So I I mean like it's just, there's a lot of faces to it yeah, and I would say it's like what drew and I talked about a few podcasts ago like 10 maybe about choose your heart right, like you. Just you got to figure out what life you want and then choose the, the path that's going to get you there, and oftentimes it looks like the hard path, but the rewards are much better. And it's like with you and me, like we were talking about you know, we're not on tiktok, which is the easy solution like if you don't have anything to talk about, sure, pull out your phone, but if you're there and you're present and you're disciplined enough to stay in the present, then you're gonna build your relationship right.

Ally:

That's better and a strong, healthy relationship is the biggest cheat code for life it's crazy like. I cannot believe how much better and easier life gets, having like an additional part of me out there supporting me.

Brett:

It's incredible marriage is great marriage is great.

Ally:

Everyone get married. I wish everyone could find their true loves for easily, because it's the best it's very nice I'm grateful me too. Anything else love that you want to talk about or that's on your mind I can't say the things on my mind, remember, I don't really have deep thoughts, but you should listen to some of our conversations.

Ally:

She has deep thoughts I know sometimes we talk about having like a microphone set up at dinner because we just have interesting conversations yeah, with dementia and stuff yeah, dementia being our shared notes and what we talk about during the day yeah, this is another marriage tip for everyone out there get call it what you want.

Brett:

Dementia is a little sad, I think, but yeah, it helps us not have dementia but so we it's a shared apple note that we have, that we call dementia, and each day we have a new entry where we'll go throughout our day and if anything comes up, then we want to talk to each other about it at dinner. And it could be the most random things, like I learned something about a bird, I want to tell you, or I tell you about a car, or like something random.

Ally:

Or the, the Romans usually is about the Romans.

Brett:

I love them anyways. Like it's just little things like that that I don't know. It just makes you think of the person and be like I want to share this with Allie at dinner, like I think she'll get a kick out of this or something you know it's important.

Ally:

I feel like most of these things that we put on dementia is like we want to talk about, but not like in one text. You know it's like oh, this is like, okay, let's have the conversation. I don't want to send you one text saying like, hey, here's what we have to do in order to get this loan, instead put on the notes. So at dinner time it can be a discussion rather than otherwise.

Ally:

I freak out that's true, he does become a little bit of a baby yeah no but admittedly so but the idea of being you're having conversations rather than putting it in one text where you read it and move on and don't talk about it. So it's been fun for us. We like having those conversations, like at dinner you pull your phone and be like okay, okay, number one on the list, we have our agenda.

Ally:

And then usually we only get like two in because we're talking so much about the things that we put on and it just keeps our it's fun, All the things we want to talk about now we don't forget. We don't see a funny TikTok and forget to talk about it later.

Brett:

It's been.

Ally:

It's been fun for us. Keeps things interesting.

Brett:

Yeah, always keeps us learning.

Ally:

That's true, but I don't know. I don't know if I have anything extra.

Brett:

That's okay.

Ally:

That's all I'm really doing in this life is, uh, I haven't been baking as much and I'm so sorry about that.

Brett:

That's all right. I will want to get back but flying running and podcasting and getting after it and getting after it.

Ally:

Getting after it, baby, that's right, it's you.

Brett:

Yep In the flesh, but thanks for coming on. I always love talking to you.

Ally:

Always a pleasure.

Brett:

And I could talk to you for hours. I don't know if the listeners would like that, but I would. Until next episode, everyone Keep getting after it. Thank you, until next episode, everyone, keep getting after it.