Getting After It

096: Brutal Honesty and Starting Where You Are – The Path to Your Goals

• Brett Rossell • Season 3 • Episode 96

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In this episode, we dive into the raw truth about progress: it begins with brutal honesty. Often, the biggest lies we tell aren’t to others—they’re to ourselves. We convince ourselves that tomorrow is a better day to start, that our circumstances aren’t ideal, or that someone else’s success is out of our reach. But here’s the reality: you don’t need perfect conditions to begin. You just need to take the first step.

Drawing from personal stories, lessons from running, and inspiration from figures like Jocko Willink, David Goggins, and Sally McRae, we unpack how to:

  • Confront your ego and embrace brutal self-honesty
  • Start where you are, no matter how small the step may seem
  • Dismantle the destructive habit of comparison and use it to inspire growth
  • Harness discipline to create the life you want
  • Develop a perspective that turns roadblocks into stepping stones

This isn’t a sugarcoated pep talk; it’s a call to action. 

Progress doesn’t happen overnight, and it’s not always glamorous, but the hard work you put in today is the foundation of who you’ll become tomorrow.

Key Takeaways:

  1. Comparison is the Thief of Joy: Social media often highlights others' best moments. Instead of letting comparison paralyze you, flip it—use it as proof of what’s possible.
  2. Discipline Equals Freedom: Whether it’s physical goals, career ambitions, or spiritual growth, discipline is the common denominator for success.
  3. Action Creates Readiness: You’ll never feel 100% ready. Start now and let action fuel your progress.
  4. Celebrate Small Wins: Progress is a sum of small, consistent efforts. Reflect on your daily wins and let them drive your momentum forward.
  5. Know Your “Why”: A clear purpose can carry you through the “how” of any journey.

Whether you’re trying to run your first mile, start a new career, or strengthen your faith, this episode will give you the clarity and tools to stop procrastinating and start getting after it.

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I hope today’s episode sparked something within you to pursue your dreams and unlock your true potential. If you found value in it, consider sharing it with someone who might need that same push.

This podcast is built for you—the dreamers and the doers. My goal is to provide a space where you can find inspiration, learn from others, and feel empowered to chase what matters most to you.

Your dreams are within your grasp. All you need is the commitment to Get After It.

Brett:

What does it mean to be brutally honest with yourself? It's a question that I think a lot of us don't want to answer, to be completely honest, because it's hard to hear the honest truth. But hearing the honest truth from yourself is the only way that you can progress towards your goals, and that's exactly what we're talking about today. So, without further ado, let's jump in. Welcome back, my friends. It's a beautiful day in Utah. I tried changing up the little angle here with the camera. I got my makeshift studio up. Right now I am working on updating my current studio here in the house I live here in Utah, but until that point I was like the house I live here in Utah, but until that point I was like where could I film and record this bad boy that gives the listeners or viewers a nice little picture of the background. So I don't know, you might be able to see it. I got some beautiful gray clouds and some blue sky peeking through some snow on top of these houses here. It's a winter wonderland outside, guys. Through some snow on top of these houses here. It's a winter wonderland outside, guys. So there you go. You get a little bit of that. But on a more real note. Let's get real for a second, guys.

Brett:

The biggest lie we tell isn't to others, it's often to ourselves. It's the little voice that says I'll start tomorrow or I can't do that because I'm not like them. You've got a goal in mind. Maybe it's running your first mile, starting a side hustle, or could be reconnecting with your faith and we've been talking on the theme of 2025 goals, making this the best year you possibly can imagine for yourself, and doing what you can to hit milestones you never have before in your life. And that all is hard to do. But instead of taking that first step, you are paralyzed by comparison and self-doubt. This episode isn't about sugarcoating the truth, so if you don't want that, turn it off now. It's about embracing brutal honesty and starting right where you are. So let's talk about how to get out of your own way and take that first step.

Brett:

And I want to give a quick shout out to some people on TikTok. I posted a video of TikTok of my brother and I from our most recent podcast. We were just discussing how, a lot of the times when you run, you get to the point to where your body's in pain and you have the chance. It's a conversation with discomfort that you have during this run. Right For him. For Drew, he gives the example of his knee flares up from time to time, but if he just ignores it, lets it go. The pain goes away.

Brett:

And these people were commenting on that TikTok and they were saying things like, hey, you know, from someone who has fibromyalgia, this is terrible advice to push through the pain. And another person said, hey, this is great Until you get to the point to where you're a grandparent, you can't even play with your grandkids or your kids. And pretty much people were just saying, like you shouldn't. Actually. Another guy said that, uh, we don't have medical degrees and people shouldn't be listening to us, which might be true. Maybe you don't need to be listening to us, but they missed the point that we were trying to discuss, and that point is when you sit with pain, when you are in the midst of whatever that is and it doesn't have to be physical pain, like if you are achieving a goal, if it's a side hustle, like the pain could look like months or years of nothing happening from your side hustle, but you're, like, so passionate about it You're not going to give up, you're going to keep going and you just don't see the progress. Or if it's with faith, like a lot of the times you stop doing the small things like praying or reading your scriptures or asking God for things, and then you have to restart those things. It feels weird and it feels out of place and like that might be the pain that you have to sit with and so, whatever it is, there's going to be a point in your goal making process where you're going to have to push through some pain. And the point of that video on TikTok was pretty much saying be proud of yourself for those moments because you've gotten further than you have previously. And some people took it out of context. That's fine, not for everyone, but it did make me think of the idea of being brutally honest with yourself and starting where you are and starting where you can, because that is the path to your goals. Hence the title of this episode.

Brett:

But I want to start by talking about comparison. Mark Twain says comparison is the thief of joy. I've talked about that quote on this podcast quite a bit because I think it's very relatable Comparison is the thief of joy. And if you were one of those people on TikTok who commented and were like, yeah, this is terrible advice. You're commenting to me who someone who runs 50 mile weeks on top of lifting and having a full-time job and being a husband and trying to serve other people is trying to serve God. Yeah, it might seem out of your reach to see that and be like and yeah, it might seem out of your reach to see that and be like, oh well, this guy's way further ahead of me and there's people who guess what are miles and years ahead of me.

Brett:

I can't compare myself to Sally McRae, who is an amazing ultra marathoner. She's like she knows how to sit with pain, she knows how to break through discomfort and go watch her documentaries on YouTube because they're insane. Like she's running 250 mile races and for the last 150 mile section of her 250 mile race, she's like throwing up, she's having all these crazy pains, she's sick, but she gets it done. I don't know, that's a different human. I'm not at that level yet. Or you can even take someone like Goggins, who is an anomaly, right, and that's great, but I can't compare myself to those people because I'm not at that level yet and comparison is a thief. It robs you of progress before you even begin. Like. You see someone crushing in their career, you see someone crushing marathons, crushing life, whatever you want to say and instead of being inspired, you say, man, why even bother? Like, I'll never be like them. Like, okay, let's pause. Let's dismantle this lie really quickly, because I believe social media exemplifies and amplifies that comparison by showing pretty much only the highlights of people's lives. Here's a spoiler I only post the best parts of my podcast on social media and the parts that I think would resonate most with people. Everyone else is doing the same thing. There's multiple takes of someone recording their vlog. Or you know, if someone's in taking a vacation with their family and you're a little bit jealous of that, that's fine, but realize that their life is not like that all the time.

Brett:

When I started running, going back to when I was sick, I was 135 pounds. I planned on doing a half marathon with my sister-in-law because she's like let's do it. And I always thought it was a cool thing to try and do to run a half marathon. And now I'm running ultras because of that, because of that interest, and originally, when I was like okay, I signed up for my first half, I went to the doctor, I told him my plans and he's like you probably shouldn't do that because your heart will probably stop, because you're very underweight, you're sick, all this stuff, right, like all these bad things like I had going on but I just disregarded, right. I immediately was like, yeah, okay, well, they're telling me not to do it. Like that must be. Be me, like I can't ever get to the point to where I'm going to run a marathon, and it was discouraging.

Brett:

It really was like looking at where I'm at now and then thinking of how I was in that moment is. It's crazy to me, like it is 180 degree shift from the person I used to be, this 135 pound man who was weak, fatigued beyond belief, couldn't get out of bed, had very low testosterone, and now I am a healthy weight, so strong in my runs. But it's only because it's been three and a half years since that point and I had to make the decision at some point, when I started getting healthier, to actually train and start running. Luckily I met Allie and Team Tim kind of got me into that and now it's a you know, can't stop me now, kind of thing.

Brett:

But really, like I could not compare myself to other people and my sister-in-law, emily. I looked up to her a lot because she ran, I think, two half marathons before we were going to sign up and do another one together and I thought like that was insanely hard. And if I would have just compared myself to her during that whole process, I would have been like there's no hope for me, like I'm not even going to try. And it's exactly what I said before, like why even bother? Like I'll never be like them. And I think we tell ourselves that all the time and I do it all the time in business Like I'll be in a sales meeting and my boss or my VP will say something that I'm like why didn't I think of that? No-transcript, it's not fair to yourself and it just shuts out that motivation.

Brett:

So what I would say is write down one thing you admire about someone you've been comparing yourself to. So if it was for me, I'd probably write something about Sally McRae. What do I admire about her? The fact that she's able to push through pain on an incomprehensible level and still hit her goals. And then flip the script, ask what is one step I can take to improve myself in that area? Comparison doesn't have to paralyze you. It can inspire you. Because what it should say is hey, sally McRae's at that level, that means it's been done. That means I can do it. Hey, bryce is way better at sales than I am. That means I can get to his point by learning from him, asking him questions and being patient in the process.

Brett:

And this part starting where you are is where you need to start that brutal honesty. And we'll talk more about being brutally honest with yourself later on. But this quote I love from Lao Tzu is a journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. Imagine that for one moment. Imagine and picture in your mind that you're going to walk a thousand miles. Okay, I don't know what, let's just say it's from Washington to San Diego. You're going to walk that. That is so intimidating, right, but you can only walk a thousand miles.

Brett:

Start the journey by taking the first step, and I know it sounds so cliche, but it really is the truth. The only place you can start is where you are. It sounds obvious, but we resist that. We'd rather wait until conditions are perfect and until we feel ready. Spoiler alert you're never going to feel 100% ready. I wasn't 100% ready when I made this podcast and I would argue that I'm probably still not 100% ready to do this. I just am passionate about the topic of getting after it. I know how it's helped me and I know how it can influence and help other people in their own lives get to where they want to be. So we'd rather wait until those conditions are perfect.

Brett:

But action creates that readiness, it's not the other way around. Once you start taking that action, you realize that, oh, I am more capable than I think. And when I was 135 pounds and I just started running, I didn't go out and run 10 miles on my first run. It was like two, and then it was five and then it was seven and then I kept going up until it was consistent and I was seeing that progress and I was. I was proud of that. So you need to break down the myth of that. You need to be ready for whatever goal that you have in your mind. You're ready now. The best time to start is now, and I think a lot of the times when I think about being ready, when I think about this concept of starting where you are, I reflect early days of the podcast.

Brett:

I spent more on equipment than I needed to because I thought I needed to have everything perfect, when, in reality, I spent more on equipment than I needed to because I thought I needed to have everything perfect when, in reality, I just needed to get started with, honestly, would have been fine with like AirPods just to do my first podcast, because you're going back and listen to it. It's pretty terrible quality, honestly. But hey, that's a lesson learned, right and that's fine. But I always wanted people to listen to this and feel like they learned something and feel like they gained something to to amp them up and make them a little bit stronger to get to the goals that they have for themselves. Because I've gotten a lot of confidence from achieving my own and I know the power that that has, which is why, like, I talk about these things, because it's important for me that you understand them and that you are maybe making some steps in your life that you wouldn't have before, and I was never fully ready and, again, I don't think I ever will be, because that's what the whole point of progress is. It's the day in and day out. That's where you see the growth. That's where you see the success start to happen.

Brett:

It's not one big swoop right. It's not one dramatic event that takes place. It's slow and you need patience, and that's a great thing to realize. Goals take time. So when things don't go your way, just realize you're making. That's another stepping stone for you and then another one will come up, another roadblock that'll turn into a stepping stone and it just falls back into it.

Brett:

So figure out what your baseline is and then ask yourself what can I realistically do today to get me one step closer to whatever goal is in your mind? And it could be as simple. Let's say you want to break it down in the most simple form. Okay, what is that? You could go on a walk for 10 minutes if your goal is to improve your fitness. Or you can draft up one email and send it to a potential sponsor and now I'm just giving you examples from podcasts but, um, maybe it's spending five minutes with in quiet reflection if your goal is to get closer to god. Just five minutes, everyone has five. Put tiktok down for five and just sit and think. And that's one step to get you started. And then the next day push it to six, and then the next day push it to seven, whatever, it doesn't matter, but make small, incremental steps to get there. Now we're going to be talking about being brutally honest with yourself, and I got to shout out my boy, jocko, for this.

Brett:

Discipline equals freedom. One of my favorite quotes from Jocko Willink it's three words Discipline equals freedom. One of my favorite quotes from Jocko Willink it's three words Discipline equals freedom. What does that mean? It means that discipline will lead you to the life that you want. If you want to be financially free, you need to be disciplined with your spending and you need to make sure that you're saving money. Otherwise, it's not going to happen.

Brett:

If you want to see yourself grow in your career, you need to be disciplined and be at work. When you're at work, focus on your tasks and get them done in a timely manner, and do them as best as you can. Learn from your mistakes. If you want to lose weight, be disciplined with your food and don't eat crap. Fuel yourself with clean fuel. Eat a lot of protein. Just make sure that you're doing what you can to stay straight as an arrow there.

Brett:

But discipline equals freedom has a lot of power behind it, and brutal honesty isn't about beating yourself up. It's about clarity If you don't know where you're starting from, you'll never know where you want to go. And brutal honesty isn't about beating yourself up, it's about clarity. If you don't know where you're starting from, you'll never know where you want to go, and that's why it's important to sit with yourself for a second and say okay, where am I realistically at with running, if your goal is to run more and when I was 135 pounds I keep going back to this example, but I think it's one that is relatable, and after that TikTok it kind of is on my mind but when I was 135 pounds, it wasn't realistic for me to go out and run five miles for the first time.

Brett:

Honestly, I never ran more than six miles at one time, and that's when I was up in Rexburg. I was lifting weights stronger than I ever have, and I was probably in the best shape of my life at the time, and so it wasn't realistic to be like, okay, I'm going to go do that again. No, I had to just start with two miles. Like I said, and for someone who's always been an athlete, that felt embarrassing, almost like two miles. Most people can do that. Most people can go and run two miles, no problem. But it was my workout right and I just slowly kept getting better and better.

Brett:

But most people lie to themselves about their capabilities, they lie about their consistency or even their commitment. So let's change that. Like, don't lie to yourself about those things Because, like I said in the beginning, the biggest lie we tell isn't to other people, it's to ourselves. We want to think that we're more amazing than we actually are, and that's ego talking. So, like Jocko also says, put ego at the door, leave it at the door. There's no room in here for ego, ego. Once you understand that and once you throw it away, then you know who cares if you get embarrassed, who cares if you fail at something because you are making strides you never did before.

Brett:

And Goggins, he says he doesn't look at failure as failure, he looks at them as attempts. What a powerful mindset that is. Like you don't think that that would get you further in life. If you looked at failure as failure and you were done the first time you failed, I got news for you You're not going to go far. But if you look at failure as an opportunity to change and to get better and to improve and see where you went wrong and what you can be doing differently next time. You're going to do things you never thought was possible for you, and it's like when I was 135 pounds if you told me I would run an ultra marathon in my life, I would have laughed at you. I would have said there's no way in hell, that's not going to happen.

Brett:

So honesty is a tool for discipline as well, not self-criticism, because if you're honest with yourself, then you're disciplined enough to be humble with yourself. So think about that for a second. But let's you know, I got three things for you to think about, because I think we can tie in the goals for um, for yourself, for the like 2025, pretty much into four buckets, but I'm going to focus on three. So physical, professional and spiritual. So with physical, are you really doing the work or are you just thinking about it? Professional, are you procrastinating on hard tasks with busy work we all have that or spiritual, are you making time for reflections or just letting the day slip by Like? Are you making sure that there's a section of your day that's focused on spending time with God? And if you answered no to any of those things, or if you answered yes to some of them.

Brett:

You might need to make some changes, and that's a good thing. Be proud of that, because if you're honest with yourself again, you'll see more success in your life. You'll see more progress, more goals hit, because if you don't know where you're at, you don't know where you're going to go. And take 10 minutes to evaluate your actions over this past week and then write down what you did and what you didn't do to move closer to your goal With this exercise. Be objective and not emotional. Like don't let your emotions get into this, just be objectively thinking about it.

Brett:

Okay, perspective also plays a huge role in this. So focusing on the end in mind, right? Frederick Nietzsche has this quote where he says he who has a why to live can bear almost any how. He who has a why to live can bear almost any how. What does that mean? Well, the path to your goal isn't straight. It's going to be messy We've talked about that already but keeping the end in mind will help you move forward.

Brett:

Like when those roadblocks come up, when the tasks seem daunting, or when you're seeing no progress with your side hustle, when no one's buying your products, when you're seeing no progress with your side hustle when no one's buying your products. Take a breath, sit with that and try and focus on the perspective. And if you're focused on a side hustle and you're seeing no progress, then look at one of those people that we talked about you comparing yourself to and see what traits that they have that you're like. Maybe I need to be more like them in this way and then work on that for yourself. And it's not only until you do that that you'll be able to understand if that's the step that you needed to take.

Brett:

But perspective can be a superpower for you, because every step, no matter how small, is progress. That's why I talk about journaling so much, because you're actively making note of things that went well and things that didn't, and so you're always doing this exercise of self-reflection and self not criticism, but honesty, like being honest with yourself on what didn't go well, that you need to do better, and I think that might be the most important thing for you to think about is, yes, when things go well, that's important double down on them but move on. But when things don't go well, think about why and figure out why, because if you figure out why it went wrong, then you know what to do next time differently. And it also applies to the fact that, like with whatever goals you have, what's the why behind them? Why are you doing the goals? Why are you deciding to run? Is it because you want to lose weight? Is it because you want to get healthier, make your heart stronger? Why do you want to improve in your career? Is it to make more money? Is it to provide for your family better? Is it to create more opportunities? Why do you want to get closer to God, to help with the hard times, to have something to hope in, to be forgiven of your sins? Like? Figure out why you want to do it, because when you do that first, the how becomes a little bit more manageable. Right, and I have a quick story just about, like breaking down a big goal into smaller milestones to make it feel achievable. And it's the podcast, guys. No, but really like the podcast.

Brett:

When I first started, I knew exactly what was going to have to happen, like I needed to get listed on all these directories, I needed to edit every single episode, I needed to have equipment, I needed to make a website and I needed to have content that was engaging, I needed to make social media posts and like all these things I think about. Like, if I think about them all at once, it's kind of overwhelming for me. It's like, okay, that's a lot of stuff I need to get done and the how. If I just focus on how to do a podcast, I probably wouldn't be motivated, right. But you have to wonder what my why is for this right. And it's because I know that these principles can change your life. They've changed mine. That's my why. And so, yes, the times when all the work feels daunting, it's worth it, because if some one person I said this many times if one person makes a change in their life after listening to this podcast that has improved their life, then I will consider it a success. And I've already seen that with a few of the listeners. And it's so rewarding for me because I am passing on the information that I've learned myself and gotten to the point to where my why is becoming tangible for others.

Brett:

So ask yourself the same thing what is your why for whatever goal that you're trying to achieve? Write down your end goal and the top reasons it matters to you, get a list out and then outline again the next smallest steps you can take, not tomorrow, but starting today, again, action. Action is what's going to get you across that, across that barrier of doubt, across that barrier of looking at the thousand mile journey and just taking the first step. Just start with action. And this is the perspective shift that I want you to take for this episode is that you're not competing against anyone else. Your only competition is who you were yesterday In progress.

Brett:

It is a personal journey. Here's the kicker the harder the journey, the more it will mean when you get there. Drew talks about this all the time with his running journey because he lost 45 pounds and that was life-changing for him and I he's. He's talked about it like the times where he was discouraged to keep going and where his body ached because he was a little heavier. And now he looks at that and he's like I'm so glad I'm at where I am now today because I feel so much better. I know the value of hard work and it's just awesome to see right.

Brett:

And the same thing can happen for you, like, the harder your journey is, the more it will mean when you get there. And Robert Collier I think that's how you say his name, collier Collier, but this Robert guy he's got a quote that says success is the sum of small efforts, repeated day in and day out. So think about that too. It's not a goal that you're going to commit to one day a week. This is a daily commitment and again, like I said, like there's no sugarcoating this, that is the path to your success. That is the path to your dreams and your goals. It's day in and day out.

Brett:

Sometimes it's ugly, it's not sexy all the time, but when you get to that point where you start seeing the why come into fruition and you start competing with yourself rather than others, then comparison fades out. When you focus on personal growth, you celebrate your own progress instead of celebrating someone else's Along. That way, you need to be helping other people reach their goals, because I am a firm believer that you must give back and that giving is much more Of a teacher and a benefit to everyone than giving or than receiving is. So one exercise that I think is helpful for this is just ending your day by reflecting with one big win. It could be big or small, actually just one win that got you one step closer to where you want to be. Write it down, celebrate it and then let it fuel you for tomorrow, because here's the truth progress is always within your reach. Like again, there's no sugarcoating. It's always within your reach.

Brett:

Progress, not goal achieving Progress. But it starts with being honest with yourself and starting where you are. You need to stay focused and don't compare. Comparison has no place in your journey. Like I said, the only person you should be comparing yourself to is who you were yesterday. That is a fair comparison. If you're better than you were yesterday, good. If you're not, refine it, get better. You're not here to compete, you're here to grow. So today, take the smallest step forward. Don't wait, don't overthink, just move and, as always, keep getting after it.

Brett:

Everybody Proud of you, guys. But if this episode hit home for anyone, please share it with someone who might need to hear it, because I think we're all on a journey to make 2025 our best year. If this episode hit home for anyone, please share it with someone who might need to hear it, because I think we're all on a journey to make 2025 our best year, and that means this is the year that we stop comparing. We start creating the lives we were meant to live. So, until next episode, everyone reach out on social media if you need to get to me, but keep getting after it. You're almost to your goals, guys. Boom.