Getting After It

088: Gratitude Changes Everything

• Brett Rossell • Season 4 • Episode 88

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In the spirit of Thanksgiving, my mind turns to the question: What am I grateful for? Focus on the good, and you’ll find it. Focus on the bad, and it will consume you.

What if the stories we tell ourselves are the keys to unlocking gratitude and growth? In this episode, I start with our "Hell for the Holidays" workout—a tradition that started in college with my brother and has become a family ritual. 

From braving the early morning chill to savoring the shared victory, we uncover how a shift in mindset can turn a tough 7-mile run and demanding circuit into a celebration of discipline and gratitude.

There is immense power in gratitude. My life is glorious, not because it is perfect but because it is mine. Same goes for you.

Drive will get you started. Persistence will keep you going. Achieving greatness isn’t about speed; it’s about staying in the game long enough to win. Most people quit before they see results because it takes too long. Be the exception.

Key Takeaways: 

  1. Mindset Shapes Experience: A shift in perspective can transform ordinary or challenging routines into opportunities for gratitude, growth, and connection.
  2. Growth Through Discomfort: Personal growth often comes from embracing challenges, whether it’s a grueling workout or moments of emotional vulnerability.
  3. Small Acts of Kindness Create Big Ripples: Small gestures, like reaching out to a lonely neighbor, can have a profound impact on someone else’s life—and our own.
  4. Gratitude is a Catalyst for Change: Practicing gratitude strengthens bonds, reinforces a sense of purpose, and helps us find meaning in both big and small efforts.
  5. Discipline Fuels Long-Term Growth: Consistent, small efforts—whether in workouts, acts of kindness, or mindset shifts—are the foundation of meaningful personal transformation.

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I hope today’s episode sparked something within you to pursue your dreams and unlock your true potential. If you found value in it, consider sharing it with someone who might need that same push.

This podcast is built for you—the dreamers and the doers. My goal is to provide a space where you can find inspiration, learn from others, and feel empowered to chase what matters most to you.

Your dreams are within your grasp. All you need is the commitment to Get After It.

Speaker 1:

Welcome back to another episode of the podcast. Happy Thanksgiving everybody. This episode is all about gratitude, as you can imagine, it's on my mind, so tune in, I hope you enjoy and let's get into it. Well, well, well, what a day, what a beautiful day it is today it's Thanksgiving. So if you're listening to this, if you're watching this, it's both recorded and uploaded on Thanksgiving. So happy Thanksgiving everyone. It's going to be a glorious day.

Speaker 1:

I just got back from hell for the holidays, which, if you've followed me, you heard me talk about that before. What it is. It's our biannual event that my brother and I started that we do it on Thanksgiving and we do it on Christmas Eve, and it's pretty much. You just push yourself as hard as you can go and you do your best, um, but this year was a little bit different. So we started it was a um, a four round circuit, and the circuit starts with a 1.6 mile run, which is something we never did. You typically we focused on like making it lifting heavy and lifting specific, but we wanted to get after it in a different way, and that's one thing that my brother and I have been training on, and you've heard him share his own story, but running is a big part of what we do now and we decided to start with it at 1.6 mile run around this big park that we did it. Afterwards we did 20 pushups, 15 kettlebell swings per arm, 10 thrusters, which is kind of like a squat, and shoulder press at the same time, 25 air squats, 15 toe touches, which is kind of like an advanced crunch, and then bicep curls, and we did that four times and it was a lot of fun. My mom came, my cousin Parker came, and then Drew's nephew Carter came, and it was awesome because everyone was in a different, a different starting point in terms of their fitness, and so I think a lot of people will listen to me and hear what I talk about with running, with really anything they'll.

Speaker 1:

They'll think, they'll think there's no way I could ever accomplish what he's doing, and it doesn't matter. If that is your mindset, then that's a little sad, but it's always difficult to push yourself, and this morning Drew and I have been planning this for I don't know a few weeks now. This is the 11th time that we've done it. We started doing it while we were students in college up in Idaho, and this is our 11th time, and so I should have been excited for this. But I woke up at 4 am so I could take Allie to the airport and I was exhausted and I was trying to get excited but it was hard to and it's just that little weakness in the back of your brain that's trying to tell you hey, why don't you just stay in bed a little bit longer, like it's really, really comfortable? That sneaky snake. You got to tell them to shut up sometimes.

Speaker 1:

But I got to the park that we were doing in that and I just told myself I was like you know what? Everyone is coming out here, they are giving me their own time. It's Thanksgiving morning. They're coming out here at six 30 and they're giving me their time and they expect me to show up. How would they picture me or how would they look at me? Think of me if I plan this whole event. I plan this hell for the holidays things and I show up with a bad attitude. That probably wouldn't motivate them to push themselves and do what they want to try, and so it's important to adjust your mindset when needed. But I told myself I was like I'm going to have as much fun as I can. I'm going to make the most of this. I'm going to just find joy in the small moments, which is something I've been talking about a lot and I'll wrap that into our topic today. And I just wanted to make sure that the people that came left with a good experience, that they had fun, that they tested themselves while still making memories and having a good time while doing it. And it actually was a blast, like once I thought about that.

Speaker 1:

It was cold, probably 40 degrees when we started running and I've mentioned this, but I don't do well in the cold and so I layered up, I had gloves on the entire workout and I still had a great time. It was hard for me. It wasn't my typical forte in terms of training protocols, but I had a lot of fun. I put myself out there and I think everyone else that came had fun too. And Drew's little son his name's Reese he, uh, he showed up at the end and it was awesome Just seeing him like trying to work out with us. He was right next to me and we were doing pushups and um, it was just so much fun and there were these little moments throughout the whole workout that I was like this is great, like my family's. Out here, we're pushing ourselves, it's cold, but we're having fun, and that's the point of hell for the holidays. It's called hell for the holidays, but it's mainly supposed to be a time where you get together with loved ones, work out hard and accomplish something all together. We put you through hell so you can enjoy the holidays later in the day. And it brings me to the topic that I want to discuss, which it's Thanksgiving and everything.

Speaker 1:

So gratitude is on my mind. There is immense power in being grateful is on my mind. There is immense power in being grateful, and I haven't necessarily been the person who is always grateful in any circumstance. I always try and find something to be happy about or grateful for. But that same voice that will speak to me and say, hey, why don't you stay in bed? Will also tell you look how shitty this situation is, look how terrible things are right now. It'll try and get you off course and if you don't control that thought, if you don't control that voice, then your life is gonna be grim and you're going to only see the bleak of the world. So you have to silence that voice, and gratitude is the easiest way to do it, like if you are cold in the morning, like we'll go back to hell for the holidays, if you're running in the cold and all you focus on is, oh I'm so cold, I am freezing, my hands hurt so bad, my nose is running Like if you focus on the things that are bringing you pain, that's all you're going to see, that is all you are going to feel and you're going to hate your experience.

Speaker 1:

And the same goes for gratitude or trying to find the joy in a circumstance. For example, if that same run in the morning where you're really cold and you're pushing yourself, maybe you're feeling strong and so tell yourself that, hey, I feel good, I'm feeling good right now. I got to keep going. Maybe the sun's starting to rise and you see the beautiful, beautiful sky, like God's painting a picture. Uh, the beautiful sunrise. You see the mountains in the distance. Whatever it is like, you can always find joy in difficult circumstances Easier said than done.

Speaker 1:

Completely understand that. Like you might be born into a family that is abusive and I hope that's not the case. Or you might have a job that you absolutely hate, but you have four kids at home that you have to take care of and you have to go there every day and do the same thing every day and still hate it. Where's the joy in that? It brings me to the idea of Jocko's good video. It was a podcast, but he turned it into a video, and good is not just a phrase that he says to piss people off, and in fact he tells a story about how one of his lieutenants came to him and was like hey, we've gotten a delayed shipment of our equipment. We're going to have to go out and and, uh, just use our old stuff. It's not going to be advanced or anything like that. And the lieutenant looks at Jocko and goes I already know what you're going to say, though that's the problem. And Jocko goes okay, what do you think I'm going to say? And he goes you're going to say good. And uh, jocko's like that's right, it is good. It's good that we don't have to get trained on new equipment, it's good that we can just get out there, we don't have to wait on anything and we know how to operate this stuff, so we'll be fine. I might be getting the story somewhat wrong, but it's something along those lines that people came to him with a problem and he's like good, hey, you know what.

Speaker 1:

There is some good in this and it goes. It's the same principle that you can apply to your own life and anything, and that's the power of gratitude. I'm not saying that you have to. I mean it's a horrible circumstance. But let's say your kid has terminal cancer. Where's the good in that? Jocko actually talks about this as well. Hard to find the good in that, honestly, and maybe it's the extra time that you spend with your son, daughter, whatever it is. But it's going to be a difficult challenge. It's going to be something that will test you and sometimes you have to force yourself to see the good in things. And, um, I just took a really dark turn, guys, I'm really sorry about that. It's just Thanksgiving, we're grateful, but there are real life circumstances out there where it's unbelievably hard for some people to manage.

Speaker 1:

When I was, uh, I've been reflecting a lot about um, about what I'm grateful for, and last Thanksgiving was a completely different Brett. I was battling some serious mental health problems at the time, depressed, you could say, and I just remember when I was at Thanksgiving last year I had to put on this mask that everything was fine and it was so hard to feel any gratitude. In that situation, like for me, depression wrapped itself around me almost like a suffocating fog, and it was hard to keep going. I was lost in darkness and because of that, my marriage wasn't where I wanted it to be. I neglected the bonds that tie ali and I together. I was very selfish.

Speaker 1:

I was dragging her through the mud of my struggles without regard of how it affected her as well and Allie. In her boundless grace, she didn't leave me there. In fact, she sat in the mud with me and she fought beside me and she helped me find my way out. And so she, without question, is my greatest blessing in life, and that's something I realized is like it's amazing to be able to rely on other people when you can't rely on yourself at times, and that is something to be grateful for. Like if you are going back to the terminally ill child, if you are going through that and people are reaching out to you. They're trying to help you through it. Be grateful for those people.

Speaker 1:

I don't have this happening to me, so I can't really be the one to say it, but try to force yourself to see some good, because you don't want your life to be a bleak, dark life. You want it to be full of joy, love and abundance, and that's what happens when you try to focus a little bit more on gratitude. Gratitude shifts your focus from what you lack to what you have and it opens your eyes to, like I said, that abundance, the joy, the love and hope that surrounds you when you look for it. But that's the thing is, you always have the choice to look for it. Your focus determines your life and I've talked about it, I don't know probably in the last three episodes of the podcast, about the power of focusing on things and the power of your thoughts.

Speaker 1:

The thoughts are that you tell yourself. The story that you tell yourself literally creates the life that you imagined, whether that be good or bad. Whatever your thoughts are telling you, your life will reflect it, because your thoughts control your actions and your actions control your life. So be careful when you are in those dark moments, because you never want to lose sight of what's important. Words matter, like the conversations that we have with ourselves matter. That's why I say things like you know you don't want it bad enough if you're not making the time or um, anything like that. Like it's not to be cruel, it's just honest. You know, like if your goal is to lose 10 pounds, but the cookies are too tempting to resist, you have to. You have to face the truth. You obviously don't want it bad enough.

Speaker 1:

If you want to grow your mind, you want to read, you want to get better in that sense, but you won't pick up the book that you said you were going to because you're a little bit too tired. Then do you truly want it? Ask yourself these hard questions, and I think the more that you do that, the more you'll be able to see the power of your own thoughts and how you can control them. See the power of your own thoughts and how you can control them, and focus on on being grateful instead of focusing on being in pain and being miserable, because if that is what you truly believe, then that is the life that you will live Like. I think it's important to push yourself. I always talk about this, but when you push yourself, you're Think of the progress that you're making.

Speaker 1:

Marcus Aurelius talks about how we need to just admire the small progress that we make on a daily basis, no matter how small or insignificant that we might think it is. It's not Because the only person that you can control is yourself. Control is yourself, and the thing is is, if you are pissed off, if you're like crying all the time because life isn't going the way that you want it, to then change it, and that starts by changing your thoughts. And that is the power of gratitude, because it takes your focus from what you want to what you have, and life is beautiful when you live it that way. I'm getting passionate about this, because this is something that I want everyone to understand, ally, and my kids specifically, when I, when I have kids, I don't have kids yet, okay, geez back, jeez back off. Anyways, I think it's important, though, because measure the progress that you make in yourself.

Speaker 1:

For me, I talked about how it's difficult for me to run outside in the cold, and a couple of weeks ago, I just decided I was like screw it, I'm going out there, I don't care, I'll push myself, I'll probably freeze, whatever, I'm just going to try it. And now I love it actually, like it's super nice to get out there early in the morning, quiet, like have that time alone to just think and and and run and be outside, like I love that. And then my favorite thing in the world is when you're running and, all of a sudden, the sun starts to rise and you're a little bit chilly, and that sun will hit you and the rays will warm you up and make you feel like, oh man, I can go 10 miles more now. I feel great, like whatever that is. Um, you have the choice.

Speaker 1:

Every day, you have the choice, and that's that's why I think it's important to be disciplined and to really push yourself for anything that you are trying to accomplish. Like, for example I was thinking about this today the reason I talk about fitness so much, the reason I tell other people to start small and push themselves in a physical way, is because I think that is the easiest thing to look at in terms of your own discipline. Like, that is the building blocks of discipline, in my opinion, because it'll show you exactly like it's one of the easiest things to look at in terms of measuring yourself, to be a disciplined person. For example, like if you feel like you are lazy, if you're complacent, if you're not progressing the way that you wish you were, and you decide one day you've had enough. Like I'm done with this crap, I'm going to go to the gym and I'm going to try to push myself just a little bit, and what I would say to that is push yourself to the point to where it's hard, and that might look different. It will look different for every single person, but that doesn't matter, because the only person you're measuring up against is yourself, and anyone else who says otherwise is a liar, because at the end of the day, they're not thinking about you. They're not caring about all your problems or what you did today, or how many miles you ran or how many deals you closed at work. They're not thinking about that. What they're thinking about is themselves and their own problems, their families. You're not the most important person in the world myself included in that and once you understand that, your life opens up in a way that I can't explain because I'm not smart enough to do so yet. But you gain a lot of freedom when you just focus on controlling yourself, controlling your thoughts, your emotions, and becoming the best version of yourself that you possibly can, and that's the only way that, in my opinion, progress leads to long-term, sustained goals. That's how you do it is you just start small and you push, and you push a little harder the next time. You push a little harder the next time and get up and do it again. And you get up the next day and do it again. And that consistency builds the foundation for your life discipline, whatever it again. And that consistency builds builds the foundation for your, for your life discipline, whatever it is. And gratitude goes the same way.

Speaker 1:

Like I don't expect you to listen to this podcast and then be like, oh, I'm so grateful for everything that I have, like, my world is beautiful. I um, I don't think that'll happen, but what I do think it'll happen is if you can find three things. I think that's why everyone says, oh yeah, get a gratitude journal so you can write down three things you're grateful for every day. Why don't you just think about them like that's the thing. You start small, you start with three and then it progresses to four and then, soon enough, you're thinking of 25 things every time you wake up that you're grateful for, and I, soon enough, you're thinking of 25 things every time you wake up that you're grateful for. And I've thought a lot about the things I'm grateful for the most. Health is one of them. Health is definitely one of them, and I'm going to get a little sappy here, so if you want to leave, go ahead, but I used to be someone who was 135 pounds three years ago.

Speaker 1:

I had incredibly low testosterone. I couldn't get up out of bed, I was weak both mentally and physically, and I was a shell of the human being that I knew I could become, and it was all because of my own choices. I had an eating disorder and because I had no testosterone, I lost all my muscle and then this just painful cycle of me pushing away food and starving myself and trying not to eat a little more when I felt like I needed to because I didn't want to gain that extra pound of fat. This was not the best way of thinking and it wasn't true. None of it was true. I was never fat. It was just a story that I told myself and my health took a swan dive into into hell. That's really the only way I could say. I was on the way to death.

Speaker 1:

The pituitary tumor didn't help with that, but my own habits were the main factor behind it and I thought I was going to die and eventually, I don't know what happened, but something clicked and I think I saw my family struggling with me and seeing me go through it, and I didn't recognize that I wasn't the only person that I was affecting. It was others around me. And that taught me that you can affect other people in so many different ways that you don't even comprehend. I never saw the tears that my mom made for me, um, or cried for me when I was in that shape, or the the tears my dad shed and the pain that was in my brother's eyes when he knew I used to be this guy who could deadlift 405 pounds and now can only do a fraction of that pounds, and now can only do a fraction of that.

Speaker 1:

Again, gratitude goes the same way. If you become someone who's always grateful, who's always finding things that are great in your life and then telling other people around you, maybe someone needs that influence in their own and maybe someone just needs to see another, just like them, recognize the beauty when it's there. And now my health is light years ahead of where it was. In fact, I talked to my mom this morning at the end of Health for the Holidays, and she just looked at me and she was all smiley and she's like I'm so happy that you're this way. And I was like what do you mean, mom? And she goes well, way better, than than anorexic Brett, as as we called it, but she's right, and my life has gotten so much better since doing some difficult things, making some hard choices and not being afraid of the consequence that comes alongside If I was going to gain an extra few pounds of fat, whatever. I was going to feel better and be a better human because of that, and so I'm very grateful for my health. It's taken years for me to recover, and I wouldn't say I'm fully recovered yet from that eating disorder or anything in that sense. Definitely not my testosterone there's still a tumor in my head but at least I have my health. At least I can get up and run.

Speaker 1:

Last night we we had Thanksgiving with my in-laws and their family Um, because tonight we're going over to mine and Allie's brother was in town, so we wanted to make sure that we got some time with him, because he lives in Iowa now and it was so fun just spending time with them. But the thing that really stood out to me was okay, I'm going to back up here. I need to tell a story about my wife. So my wife is a angel, and if you listen to this podcast, you know that, but if you don't, she's an angel. She was walking her dog maybe three years ago, and just walking him around the neighborhood and this old lady in a wheelchair. She was sitting outside on her porch and saw Allie walk by and Allie waved and I'm not sure what happened next, but pretty much what happened was Allie befriended this old woman Her name's Rosie, and she took the dog up to Rosie and Rosie pet the dog and she started talking to Allie Come to find out that Rosie doesn't have any family that lives in Arizona, she is alone, she's 90 years old, she has some serious health issues, she's in a wheelchair, very lonely, and Allie became really good friends with her and so it was just one act of kindness.

Speaker 1:

But going back to last night, allie decided to invite her to Thanksgiving to have dinner with us and to get out of the house maybe, maybe enjoy some time with with um other people. And and because she doesn't have family, I celebrate Thanksgiving and Allie and I last night walked over to her house and we waited outside for about 15 minutes as she got ready and she came out in her wheelchair and she was all dressed up nice for the night. She had her hair combed and she was wearing this nice little cardigan I don't know what you call it, but it was like a cardigan vest Pretty badass. Rosie's dope she's got three teeth. She's great, but anyways. So she comes out and she was beaming. She was so happy to see us.

Speaker 1:

It was kind of funny. We were walking down the street with her and she's in her little motorized wheelchair. We turned the speed up all the way because she's like we can go real fast. I'm like, okay, I turned the speed up all the way because she asked me to. She was cruising down the street and we're like Rosie, you got to calm down. She was about to hit some cars and stuff. And we're like Rosie, like, hold on a second. And it was just funny like seeing her like that.

Speaker 1:

But she was so excited. She was excited to get out of the house, she was excited to come and finally go to Allie's house and have dinner and I tried putting myself in her shoes and I was thinking about how she would feel if she was just alone in her home, which happens almost every night and it made me so sad and so seeing her at the table with us like warmed my heart, and it's because my wife set that example for me and Rosie had dinner with us. We talked, we got to know her a little bit better and it was just fun seeing her so happy and um, it was cute because we were leaving the house and um, I was like talking to Rosie and I was like Rosie, isn't Allie the best? And she goes, that girl's the light of my life, and I don't think Allie would say that it's a big act of kindness that she does. I don't think she would say it takes a lot of effort to go and be nice to someone. But to Rosie last night was maybe one of the best nights she'll have this year and that's something to be grateful for that. I saw that and I recognize that I have so many people around me that love me and there's people out there that don't and that's why we need to be grateful, so we can help those who don't have as much as us.

Speaker 1:

And just being a friend to other people is important. Being a friend, being there for others, relationships are the most important part of life. Being disciplined, working out hard, also important, but pales in comparison to being kind to others and forming long-term relationships with with people. Because if you believe in god, like I do, then you're going to meet them on the other side of life, on the other side of this life, and hopefully they have good things to say about you. Because I guarantee you, if you're going through life and you're not focusing on good things and you're telling yourself, oh poor me, my life sucks, everything's hard, then those people that you meet are going to remember you as someone who was like a Scrooge type person. They're not going to remember you as someone who helped them when they needed it, or a friend that was there when they needed one.

Speaker 1:

And brings me to the last thing that I'm going to talk about today, and it's about Allie and how grateful I am for her. She is everything to me. I'm grateful I have a wife that believes in me the way she does. I'm grateful I have a wife that believes in me the way she does no-transcript, and that's something that a man, that's something that me myself, that's all I wanted. I think men do want that, but in myself, that's all I wanted. I think men do want that, but in myself, that's all I wanted was a wife who believed in me and saw me for who I was. She sees me in my good and my bad and, like I was saying Thanksgiving last year, I wasn't the best husband, I wasn't mean or abusive or anything, but I wasn't there. I wasn't present and she's shown me grace. She's shown me that forgiveness is possible and she's my best friend. She's my best friend Like I didn't think I would ever get to the point to where I felt like I was one with someone and I've made a baby. I feel like I'm one with her. For sure. She's hot too, boom. So many things to be grateful for.

Speaker 1:

But I'm also grateful for her own example, for what she does for people like Rosie, the fact that she's taught me that relationships are the most important thing in life. I used to think it was money or or having an amazing job, a big house, like everything that you think is important. When you grow up and you're a kid and you're like man, I wish I had a mansion. It doesn't matter. In the end, no one's going to remember your mansion. They're going to remember how you treated them when you were, when you were feeling down. They're going to remember what you did that was nice for them. Ali's taught me that.

Speaker 1:

Ali has blessed my life in so many ways and helped me become the man that I am today. I can't thank her enough for it. So, baby girl, I love you and you're everything to me. I couldn't do this without you and I hope you know that, no matter what, I won't leave your side either, because that's what love is, and it's the biggest thing that I'm grateful for in my own life. Allie, you're amazing. I love you, very grateful, but she is the biggest blessing. But she is the biggest blessing and I think there's other ways that you can probably find someone in your own life that supports you maybe with your own goals, the way Allie does mine or supports you in your life when I have moments of depression, and because I face it like cats out of the bag. I have depression. Sometimes it sucks. It's another reason I push myself so hard, but when I need a shoulder to cry on, allie's there, no questions asked. She's there and I'm just grateful for her. So here's my challenge to everyone Spend some time thinking about what you're grateful for today.

Speaker 1:

If it's not Thanksgiving, it doesn't matter. Focus on what you have, thank God for it. If you believe in him, you should. Your life will get better if you do and just find the time to celebrate your own life, to celebrate your victories, to be grateful for, for what you have and for where you're at, and be grateful for the small progress that you make every day, because the small progress matters. That's what compounds You've heard of the term compound interest when it's typically talked about with investments and it starts small but then it grows and grows and grows and follows an exponential curve and it just gets to a point to where boom, exponential curve, and it just gets to a point to where boom. You've made it Congrats.

Speaker 1:

Same goes for gratitude, and that's why it is so important, it's so empowering and, um, your life will change if you focus on it a little bit better. Make it more of a priority. Um, I appreciate you guys. I'm grateful for you all for listening to this, because without you, this would mean nothing, and if I can help one of you, then mission complete for me. Success, great, great success, and I will be proud of helping one person.

Speaker 1:

Um, sorry, I got a little sappy at the end, but that's one thing that I talked about. You know, sharing my thoughts more, uh, more openly and actually, from what I believe, and uh, that's exactly where my mind went, so bear with me through the cheese. I know I'm a cheesy person. I'll bring some more things, more content that's more aggressive, if that's what you want, but I was just feeling grateful today. So this message is just about making sure that you're doing what you can to find the joy in life when you're in the cold running. Find the joy when you're struggling at work. See what the silver lining is If you're struggling in relationships. Change Because it starts with yourself. It starts with your thoughts. I appreciate you guys for listening. I hope you have a great Thanksgiving if you're listening to this on Thanksgiving. If not, I hope you have a great day. Share it with someone if you think it helped yourself and until next time, everyone keep getting after it. Thanks, guys.