Getting After It

082: The Power of Patience—Mastering the Art of Waiting

• Brett Rossell

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Achieving your dreams requires patience and perseverance.

True progress comes from mastering the art of patience, starting with yourself. By being compassionate toward your own journey, you set the foundation for sustainable success.

In life, patience with friends and partners strengthens connections. It supports their growth and, in turn, deepens your bonds. When you invest time and effort into these relationships, you create a foundation of trust that lasts.

It demands consistency, resilience, and the ability to set realistic goals. Avoiding burnout means understanding that mastery is built over time, not by rushing the process.


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Your dreams are within your grasp. All you need is the commitment to Get After It.

Speaker 1:

Welcome back everybody to the podcast. Today's episode is going to be all about patience and how that applies to getting after it with your goals, being patient with yourself and being patient with other people, and how all these things allow you to progress in life and achieve what you want. What is going on, everybody? Welcome back to the podcast. I am excited to talk about today's principle. We're going into a principle today and this one, I feel like, is often overlooked, because there are many people who are out there telling you to get after your goals myself included in that and it's something that takes a long time to get after your goals, to see the results that you want to, um, you know, put forth in the world, whatever your story might be. But all these things that we try and accomplish, that we tried to do, they all take time and they're not necessarily easy. Um, a good example of this, of this I'll tell a little story and then we can go into the principle itself. But you should be familiar with it.

Speaker 1:

It's the tortoise and the hare. Everyone knows about this. But the hare, he brags about how fast he can run. He tells the tortoise pretty much hey, you're going to eat my dust. You suck, tired of the hares, boasting the tortoise is like you're gonna eat my dust. You suck, uh, tired of the hairs, boasting the tortoise is like all right, fine, let's do a race, you and me, a little tortoise in, uh, in a in a hair. You know, let's get this going. And the hair just bolts off the finish line, right, he just goes and cruises and he realizes he's so far ahead of the tortoise that he's like I don't need to work this hard. Actually, I'm gonna cruise over the tree, I'll take a nap and then I'll beat him later. Uh, you know, I'll get to that point. So he goes to sleep, he wakes up and finds out that the hair, or that the uh, the tortoise actually beat him. Beat him in the race, and the moral of the story is slow and steady wins the race.

Speaker 1:

So what does that have to do with anything that we're going to talk about today? Simple, one thing that is required in order to achieve any goal that you have in life is to exercise patience. Now, easier said than done, and a lot of us, myself included, could be better at being patient with. This is the different things that we're trying to accomplish in life, but I've broken it down into three different segments, because I think that's kind of how this will be helpful for you to listen to, and that's patience with yourself, patience with others and patience with your goals and aspirations. All three of those take time. All three of those are very difficult to master, especially yourself, like I am currently working on that. Very difficult for me to be patient with myself, especially when I have these high aspirations and these goals that I want to see through and I want to get after, like that's really it.

Speaker 1:

But personal development and goal achievement is a lifelong journey. It's not necessarily a race like the tortoise and the hare. You're supposed to be taking time. If everything good was given to you in the first place, then it wouldn't mean anything and it gets rid of the value that is brought with it. There's a quote, quote that Chris Williamson says all the time and he says having things is not fun, getting things is fun. What he's saying there is the process of getting. That is what is valuable to the person who receives, whatever reward it is in the end.

Speaker 1:

And when we're patient with ourselves, we're less likely to fall into self-criticism or despair, if you want to call it that, when achievements aren't immediate or things don't go perfectly to plan. So that's what I would say is number one with yourself is you need to exercise self compassion and treat yourself like your own best friend. Jordan Peterson's 12 rules for life he has a great one that is something along the lines of treat yourself as you would your best friend. So if you ever catch yourself being like Brett, why the hell did you not work a little bit harder? Why'd you quit 12 miles into your 15 mile run, like what is going on with you? Instead say, okay, where can I improve? What went wrong this time? Did I feel properly for my run? Did I study enough for the exam? Whatever that is, don't look at it as a time of despair or fall into that self-criticism. Instead, look at it as an opportunity to grow and to develop yourself into the person who you want to become. And, along that same line, being patient with your goals and not necessarily putting a timeline on things allows for more sustainable growth than causing you to burn out.

Speaker 1:

Rapid changes can often lead to stress and eventual regression, and a good example of this is New Year's resolutions. I don't know what the data tells, but I think it's around 75% of people forget their New Year's resolutions by middle of February. Quote me if I'm wrong on that, but I think it's something along those lines and the slow and steady improvement, the sustainable path that requires a lot of work and a lot of time, is the one that leads to a solid foundation of your goals and becoming the person that you are becoming, the person that you want to become. Now it's a learning process. You have to develop new skills and you have to change some habits if you want to reach whatever it is. But patience gives you a mental space to learn from mistakes, refine your own techniques and understand the nuances without the pressure of instant mastery. Like, don't try and go learn Spanish and then think you're going to be fluent in a week or two. That leads to deeper learning and it's a little bit more sustainable when you take a longer approach.

Speaker 1:

But patience is critical in that you have to realize that if something is valuable, it's going to take time to achieve and nothing is wrong with that. That's completely fine. You want to focus on quality over quantity. So, by taking time to understand and integrate new information or skills. So like, ponder on them, think about them, journal about whatever you're trying to do, but the more you do, that patience ensures that that personal development will lead to solidifying your character with those traits, if that makes sense.

Speaker 1:

Like the good example I think of all the time is a tree. It starts out as a little seed, and so that could be your first step, as a goal is planting that seed right, and you have to nourish it. You have to give it proper food you know, having good soil, being planted in the right area, give it sunlight, you have to continuously water it and over time, that tree, that seed, will turn into a tree, and I love just thinking about, like the redwoods, how big those freaking trees are, how long it took for them to get to that size, and it's just something that I think we can all learn from. Learn to be a tree, that's what boom. That's good news.

Speaker 1:

I think being patient with yourself also allows you to make better decisions. Uh, rushing through your life decisions often leads to impulsive choices and, um, that might not serve your long-term goals or your development. Uh, by by those means. But patience allows for thoughtful consideration and leads to better, more informed decisions, and I always loved the idea that if you want to improve on yourself, figure out where you want to take that first step and then gradually incorporate it into your life. But I broke it down to exercise patience with yourself just in this small paragraph. So practice setting aside time for reflection, journaling or meditation which can enhance your patience. Recognize and acknowledge your progress, however small, and allow yourself the time to grow without constant self judgment. So put that piece aside, um, but I think this is a uh, a good quote on being patient with yourself. It's from Joyce Meyer and she says patience is not the ability to wait, but the ability to keep a good attitude while waiting. Boom, there you go. So keep a good attitude while you're going through this process, because the next part in being patient with others is going to be difficult if you can't be patient with yourself.

Speaker 1:

The first one I would probably say to focus on when you are trying to be patient with other people is listen to what they're saying. A lot of times things are misunderstood, which leads to bad communication, which leads to bad relationships. But when you're patient, you're more likely to listen fully to what the other person is saying, without rushing to respond or interrupt them, and one you get a better understanding of how that person thinks and you understand their feelings and that way you can respond a little bit better. But if a conflict arises, like be calm, take a very calm demeanor instead of reacting immediately with frustration. And this is a challenge. So next time like someone pisses you off or like bugs you a little bit, pause just at least for a couple seconds. It might seem weird at first, but let those thoughts run through your head. The first thoughts are often not the right ones you want to say to that person at that time. They might feel like you want to say it, like you might want to just tell them off and get pissed off at them. But will that aid you in building stronger relationships to help you understand the other person's side of things?

Speaker 1:

It's crazy right now, with the election going on, everyone's just fighting each other. It's like my side's right, no, my side's right. And there's no pause for understanding the other person's legitimate beliefs. And I think the world would be a better place if we were a little bit more patient with each other, listening to what each other has to say, being slow to rebuttal them and to understand that they have the same feelings that you do. That's a big realization I had not too long ago. But everyone has the same human feelings. Everyone has problems come up in their day. There's not one person out there who isn't facing something difficult at this time, like everyone has something challenging that they're going through.

Speaker 1:

If you try to take that understanding when someone you know aggressively yells at you, or whatever the example could be, realize that they are people too and they have their own issues. They have their own problems. Maybe their mom just died, maybe they lost their job, or maybe their kid is deathly ill. You don't know people's situations and with that, you should be patient to understand their perspectives, understand what they're going through, and from there it's going to build trust between you Because by showing patience, you demonstrate one that you're a reliable person and you're consistent, which are components of trust.

Speaker 1:

Right, you need to constantly be reliable and you need to be consistent with showing up and being there for the other people in your life. Allie is a good example of this. I do what I can to make sure that she knows, no matter what, I will be there for her. Do what I can to make sure that she knows, no matter what, I will be there for her If she calls me at two in the morning and she's coming home from work and she gets a flat tire. I'm there, but she knows that I'm reliable through my consistency of being there for her. And, in that same kind of example, build trust with those people, not by attacking their views, but by trying to understand them through listening and through empathy. Because patience when you're trying to understand something from other people's point of view, it takes time to understand why someone acts or feels a certain way, but patience allows for that process to occur and it allows you to form friendships.

Speaker 1:

Like you might not agree with everyone you meet, but if you're patient with how you respond, you might meet some friends that could be liberals, could be conservatives, could be Methodists, while you're like a Mormon, whatever it might be. But everyone has different points of view. Everyone has different perspectives on life, and yours isn't perfect, mine isn't perfect, but try to understand that other people have insights that might help you. There's this quote that I found from Harvard Business Review that goes along the lines of if you treat everyone you interact with as if they can teach you something, you'll go through life being unstoppable. I think that's pretty spot on. Everyone has something that you can learn from. That's a huge reason why I do this podcast is so when I do talk to other people, they can share their perspectives on life. They can talk about the things that have helped them get after life and then get after their goals.

Speaker 1:

But being patient means that you're going to be there through their highs and lows and by providing that emotional support when it's needed, that's going to deepen your emotional connection and allow you to continue forming these relationships, being patient with other people and achieving your own goals. You know the quote your net worth is your network right, and so what does that mean? It means the people that you know and the people that you trust, the people that you build relationships with. That is what is valuable in life. It's not having the most money, it's not traveling the world or doing whatever, while that might provide some temporary happiness. I love hearing it's kind of sad, actually but I love understanding that there are some billionaires out there who are absolutely miserable because they ignore things like building relationships. They just wanted power, they just wanted money and because of that they decided to remove a lot of people from their lives. It might not have been by choice, but it is an effect that happens when you're not actively listening and you're not trying to build that relationship with the other people. And all these things take time.

Speaker 1:

But realize, along with being patient with yourself and giving yourself that long-term perspective for growth, realize that we are all on a shared journey in life. All of us are here on this rock floating through space, the spaceship. You can consider the earth actually as a spaceship, if you want to get technical about it, because it is a object in space that's flying through space. We're all moving. I know everyone thinks like we're just orbiting, but no, we're actually moving forward as well. And, um, we're flying through space. So that's pretty sick.

Speaker 1:

But relationships are about growing together and patience allows for this gross growth to happen more naturally than the normal. And just as you're patient with your own personal growth, by extending that patience to your partner or your friends, it helps nurture their growth as well. You want to be the person that builds up your friends and by doing so they will fight in rooms that you're not in for you. They will be there to back you up. They will be the ones who are called upon when you need them and it strengthens that bond and, over time, patience in handling your disagreements, your misunderstandings or simply daily life, creates a stronger bond. Now it's through these patient interactions that a deeper, more resilient connection is formed, which allows you to continue progressing to your goals. Because you want as many people on your ship as you can as you're trying to reach your own goals. Because, when something comes up, these relationships relationships that you have formed will allow you to reach out to other people who have done something similar to you or tried to achieve the goal that you're aiming for. But strengthen your network, be patient while doing it, and you'll be surprised at how easy achieving your goals becomes, because you have all these people who are there to support you, who are there to help you and to encourage you when times are tough.

Speaker 1:

And here's another quote that I love from David G Allen. He says this patience is the calm acceptance that things can happen in a different order than the one you have in mind. So don't think that everything is going to perfectly go to plan all the time, because it's not. And why do love running? If you've listened to this podcast, you should know that running is the perfect metaphor for life, right? How many times have I said that? A lot, but I stand by it because, in that same idea like every run that I do doesn't go the same way I always tell the people who I train and other people who asked me about running to remember the 30, 30, 30, 10 rule. So 30% of your runs are going to be amazing. You're going to feel like you're on cloud nine. The other 30% are just going to be regular runs, nothing too bad, nothing crazy. The other 30% is going to be crap. You're going to hate your life and that 10% that's left, those are the worst runs of your life, where you feel like you're going to die the whole time. You don't have energy. Whatever the story might be, maybe you didn't sleep the night before, but you're going to be hating life in those runs and realize that's part of the journey.

Speaker 1:

It's a journey to try to strengthen your legs, to increase your aerobic capacity, to get better at something that everyone hates doing. Like, running is hard, it is difficult, but that's one of the reasons why I'm drawn to it is. It's a challenge every single day and it makes me force myself to do uncomfortable things, and so because of that, yeah, 40 of my runs are going to be awful, but the other 60 are going to be pretty good. So think about that. Like with whatever goal you have doesn't have to necessarily be running, but understand that it's a journey and there's going to be times when you're feeling great. There's highs and lows on every journey. You could try to become a a journey, and there's going to be times when you're feeling great. There's highs and lows on every journey. You could try to become a pilot, like Allie. There's highs and lows on that journey too, like you have to get 1500 hours in a little Cessna plane and then go through an intensive training. You know protocol from the, from the airlines, and all this stuff just is super difficult to handle. But any journey that you have in life, any goal that's worth pursuing, is going to have highs and lows. So keep that in mind and be patient with yourself.

Speaker 1:

And that leads us into the final point we're going to talk about today, which is patience with your goals and your aspirations. So all of it is boiling down into this piece. You need patience with yourself and others in order to achieve your goals and aspirations, so it's essential. This is essential in achieving your long-term goals because it avoids burnout. Going back to the example of New Year's resolutions. I saw something the other day. It's October 22nd right now, but I saw something the other day that said something along the lines of like, if you start today, you'll be 117 days ahead of all those people who start on January 1st. And I was like, damn, that's a good quote, um, but if you don't set that expectation that things are going to take a while and that you need to be patient with your goals, you're going to burn out. I I try to avoid that as much as possible. One of um someone who's close to me falls into the cycle all the time.

Speaker 1:

They will set these high goals for themselves, do it for a week, fall off the wagon, beat themselves up, and then they're in the same place that they were before they started, maybe even in a worse place, but we're all prone to that. We all have to fight through that. But also, don't overload yourself, because pursuing these long-term goals often requires consistent effort over an extended period of time. Patience allows you to set a sustainable pace rather than pushing yourself too hard and too fast. You don't want to do that. You need to crawl, walk, run. You're not going to be an expert in the beginning. Understand that. That's okay, and in the middle you might start getting pretty good at understanding the concepts or doing whatever goal that you're doing, and then, at the end, you will be pretty good at it. So just set that real expectation for yourself. Don't sugarcoat it. Say, hey, this is where I'm at, this is where I want to go. It's going to take me a while to get there.

Speaker 1:

Anyone who goes on a weight loss journey let's say you're aiming to lose 40 pounds that's not going to come off overnight, just as it did not come on in one day. You didn't gain 40 pounds in one day. It's not going to come off in one day. It takes time and it takes consistency, which is why I talk about discipline and consistency being two very critical principles in trying to achieve your goals. But patience or consistency without patience is going to get you nowhere. You have to realize that whatever you are set out to do is going to take a moment.

Speaker 1:

When you are struggling, though, when you're having a hard time, when you're like I don't see any progress, try to practice some mindfulness, and I was talking to my wife about this today because we were talking about the podcast. I was discussing with her how it's been stagnant for a while in terms of the growth that I've been seeing, and I got a little discouraged. But I realized that, hey, you know what I'm learning something from this podcast? What can I do better? How can I improve? Maybe it's something I'm learning something from this podcast. Um, what can I do better? How can I improve? Maybe it's something that I'm I'm doing within the episodes themselves, but I had to force myself to be present, to focus on the moment and realize that, hey, that was probably just a bad thought, like I'm. I'm, of course, I love doing this podcast Like, it helps me learn, it helps me grow and, um, I talk about things that I'm interested in, like patients, of all things but, um, and just realize, like, when things don't go your way, see what you can do to be mindful in that situation, be present, practice some form of meditation, but try to reduce that stress and realize that it's a journey Again, like you're going to have to remind yourself of this many times.

Speaker 1:

Also, don't be afraid to adapt and adaptation, in my opinion, like it. It allows yourself to learn and get creative on ways to solve whatever problem you're facing, to get through whatever difficulty you are, and adapt quickly, but always continue to learn. So instead of feeling the need to master something very quickly, you're you need to be open to learning each step. That can lead to more effective strategies and less frustration for future goals. But take it one step at a time. Back to running. When I do have those runs, those 10% runs where I'm feeling like I am dying, that I can't put one foot forward, I always ask myself can I put, can I actually take one more step? The answer is always yes, I can always take one more step, and so just telling myself that a few times gets me out of that headspace and then I'm cruising again. But you just have to always remind yourself and adapt when needed.

Speaker 1:

Figure out what you need to do for stress management as well, cause going back to that piece where you know things aren't going to go your way all the time. Um, do something to alleviate that stress, like get your mind off it, because this is a lifelong journey and so not thinking about your goal for 30 minutes isn't going to hurt you. In fact, it will probably help you, because you might get your mind off it for a while, come back and see the issue or the problem, or see it from a different perspective and just keep going through it. So figure out what you need to do to stress management. That could be walking, it could be calling a friend, you know someone who you built a relationship with, and talk to them for a while. Um, but recover to like. You need to take breaks, you need to recover. Uh, you can't be all go, go, go all the time. You can't be getting after it all the time, as much as I'd love to believe that you need time for recuperation and to allow yourself to pause, take a moment to think about you know where you can improve, and that kind of thing.

Speaker 1:

All of this to say is that this is going to help you build long-term habits that will ultimately bring forth the vision of life that you had for yourself. It's going to build endurance in you and resilience. You're going to be less likely to abandon any goal prematurely because you're prepared for the long haul. That's how it should be. You're in it for the long haul. Getting after it is a way of life. It's not a one-time thing, and this endurance is crucial for overcoming the inevitable challenges that are going to come your way. So the more that you do it, the more you practice this, the better you will become, and what I would say is, in practice, this looks like dividing your long-term goals into smaller, manageable tasks with realistic deadlines tied to them. I just said earlier that you don't necessarily need a timeline for your goals, but you should set timelines on places that are areas that you want to be at, or places you want to be at in terms of your goal achievement. Places you want to be at in terms of your goal achievement, like.

Speaker 1:

If you don't celebrate the small wins, the small victories, that can lead to burnout as well. And so when things do happen that are good for you and they're beneficial for your goal and your vision for life, then celebrate it. I don't know what that looks like for you. Maybe it's going out to dinner with your spouse or um, buying a new shirt, whatever it is like. Celebrate those wins, because they mean a lot more than you think they do, um, and along the same lines.

Speaker 1:

One reason why I love journaling is it allows you to be honest with yourself about where you're at in certain goals and where you're at in life. And when you journal, make it unfiltered, because who else is going to read it? Like no one else has to read it except for you, and if you can clearly understand how you're feeling and clearly understand where you need to improve what or how to adjust your current approach, that will hopefully lead you to not lose sight of the overall goal and just find ways that you can get better. There's this last quote that I'll share today. It's from Ovid Not really sure who that is, but his quote is fire. He says a water drop hollows a stone, not by force, but by falling often, so by being consistent and staying in the fight. That's how you hollow a stone.

Speaker 1:

Now I do understand that all these strategies, all these things are going to take time to learn. That's the, that's the whole point of patience is, no matter what like. You have to learn how to be in it for the long haul. Stay committed to a long-term goal that might take you five years to achieve, could take you three, maybe it's one, could be six months, but tell yourself that you're in it for the long haul and that nothing will get in your way and that you are committed and willing to do what's necessary to achieve it. When difficult times come up, spend time with your thoughts, journal, review your progress. When you win small, small celebrate and just keep pushing forward.

Speaker 1:

Life is about learning. Life is about getting after it, and you don't get after it overnight. You don't learn everything you want to in one day. These all take time, and so understand that, and it's okay. But work hard, be consistent and stay in the fight, and I promise you that you will reach your goals. It's only a matter of time. At that point, once you've committed to it and you're staying consistent, watch what happens, stick with one thing and do it well for a long time, I guarantee you your self-confidence will grow, you will achieve what you want to and you'll become a different person. So keep that in mind, and I appreciate everyone for listening. Next episode is going to be a little bit fun. My brother Drew's coming on. We're going to be talking about David Goggins, so tune in for that, and until that point, everyone keep getting after it.