Getting After It

073: The Self-Belief Blueprint – Be Your Biggest Champion

• Brett Rossell • Season 3 • Episode 73

Share episode

This episode of the podcast dives deep into the power of self-belief in achieving your dreams and living a fulfilling life. 

Inspired by Dr. Phil and Michael Jordan, I explore how maintaining a positive mindset can truly reshape your reality. I share personal stories and insights that illustrate the delicate balance between nurturing healthy self-belief and avoiding the pitfalls of self-delusion. 

Discover how discipline, consistency, and taking full ownership of your actions can lead to remarkable achievements.

In this practical guide, I offer strategies to strengthen your self-belief, including tips on visualizing success and setting achievable goals. We discuss the importance of grounded optimism, which combines positive thinking with a realistic assessment of the situation, and encourage you to create your own 'badass list' of personal achievements to boost your confidence.

Resilience and consistent self-evaluation in aligning your actions with your long-term goals is critical for any success you are aiming for. Tune in to push your limits, pursue your passions, and embrace the life you deserve.

Follow on Instagram: @bcrossell

–––––––––––––––––-

I hope you've enjoyed today's discussion and that it's ignited a fire within you to pursue your dreams and embrace your true potential. (If it was helpful, share it with someone you think could benefit.)

If you're hungry for motivation, personal development, and career insights, be sure to subscribe to the podcast on your favorite platform. I try to have a diverse lineup of guests, each with their own unique stories and experiences to share.

Remember, this podcast is all about you—the dreamers and the doers. I'm here to provide a platform where your voice can be heard, where you can find inspiration, and where you can learn from the journeys of others who have dared to chase their dreams.

If you are interested in being a guest, reach out.

I appreciate your support, let's connect on social media. Follow us on Instagram (@gettingafterit_) to stay updated on new episodes and behind-the-scenes content.

Remember, your dreams are within reach. You just have to decide to Get After It.

Speaker 1:

The longest relationship you will have in life is with yourself. Be your own best friend and because we generate the results in a life that we believe we deserve, help yourself generate those results. How often do you see or meet someone who appears to be living a first-class life? Maybe they're in great physical shape. Their hair is trimmed up, they're well-groomed. Their clothes, whatever their style, look clean and sharp and pressed. It's clear they've taken some time for themselves. They pull up in a car that's clean. It's not necessarily a fancy car, it just doesn't look like they've eaten their last several meals in it. And when they get out, their shoulders are back and their head is up. They walk forward purposefully with an air of confidence about them.

Speaker 1:

There are a lot of people who look at someone like that Maybe you're one of them and say that's for other people, not me, I'm not entitled to that. In fact, a lot of people look at that and start making excuses I don't have time to stay fit, I can't afford to get my hair done like that. And again the story they tell themselves is that's for those people, that's not for me. It's not just material goods or individual presentation, because you can be looking at someone from the exact same socioeconomic situation. People deliver that message to themselves in every aspect of life. A lot of people will see another couple that's out holding hands or being playful or laughing or playing a sport or visiting a gallery together and look at that happiness and joy and they say, well, that's for other people, that's not for us. The only reason someone says something like that is that they don't think they deserve something they want. And if you don't think you deserve that happiness, that fulfillment, that confidence, there is no way you will generate that result in your own life. That is from a chapter of Dr Phil's book.

Speaker 1:

We've Got Issues and it is the topic we're going to be discussing today, which is why is it important to believe in yourself? Okay, brett, why is it important to believe in yourself? Why would you dedicate an entire episode of getting after it to talking about the significance and the importance of believing in yourself and your abilities? But being your own biggest champion that's what we're talking about today and it goes back to what I've mentioned a few times on this podcast about being your own biggest cheerleader, meaning you're the person that is driving you internally to try and reach goals that you necessarily haven't before. That might be a little scary, but you know deep down your abilities are there and you have the capabilities to do it right. So why is it important to believe in yourself?

Speaker 1:

Henry Ford once said whether you believe you can do a thing or believe you can't. You are right, and this is a guy that changed the entire automotive industry, pretty much brought it to its forefront. But think about that last part whether you believe you can do a thing or believe you can't, you are right. That's the power of self-belief, and I want to make a distinguish or a line very quickly. We are going to be talking about self-belief and we're also going to be discussing the difference between self-belief and self-delusion, so making a fine line between those two. You don't want to be overly confident to the point to where you become delus. Two, you don't want to be overly confident to the point to where you become delusional, and you don't want to be so timid that you're not willing to go and pursue your goals or try and get after them, like that's the whole point of getting after it is you're doing what you can to push yourself and test your limits. I, uh, I think it's an uh, a critical part of everyone's life to test their limits, to really push themselves to try new things, because that, ultimately, is how you find what you're interested in. That's how you ultimately find what excites you, what makes you happy, the things in life that you actually care about and what matters to you. So this is going to be a good one. I'm excited to talk about this stuff because self-belief and self-confidence is something I've struggled with actually my entire life, and it probably comes down to the fact that when I was younger I was chubby.

Speaker 1:

I'd get made fun of all the time. My brothers are the biggest component of that. My brother drew. He'd call me a little chubby kid all the time, and that's fine, he's a brother. But it's different when, like classmates call you hey, you're a little chubby, or man, you've been eating a lot, right, like that's a different feeling than when your brother's teasing you. So I didn't really develop self-confidence until I was probably about 22 years old when I got back from the mission I served for my church. I went up to college and that's where I started getting serious about things like discipline and consistency and pushing myself, trying to do difficult things.

Speaker 1:

I came across that through Jocko, through Jocko Willink and his book Extreme Ownership, which talks about the fact that everything that you do in this life, you own your actions, you own the outcomes. Your inputs dictate the outputs, and so you have to think about that for a second. The quality of your inputs will determine the quality of your outputs. If you are driving a Ferrari, you put unleaded fuel in that, versus premium fuel, you're going to have a different performance, and that's the same concept that you can take into your own life. What you're putting into your life, that could be information, it could be actions, it could be relationships. That could be information, it could be actions, it could be relationships. Anything that you contribute to in your life requires you to have some form of input, which, consequently, will produce some kind of output. Right, so let's jump into this. I'm dishing around here, so let's jump in.

Speaker 1:

I think this is really important, but I want to start by first understanding self-belief. Now, self-belief is the foundation of personal empowerment and really effectiveness. As cheesy as it sounds, it's going to sound a little self-helpy for a second, but I want to explain that self-belief influences how high we set our goals, the energy that we are putting into them and our resilience when we start to face challenges, setbacks, whatever that might be. So self-belief, what is it? Well, it's about finding your inner strength. You need to be able to find your strength so you can embrace the journey that life is. And life is a journey, it's an adventure and it should be treated that way. But your strengths will allow you to enjoy this journey a little bit more.

Speaker 1:

And it has a bunch of ups and downs. Like I have had my fair share, and I'm sure you have as well, you might be going through something difficult right now and realize that each challenge brings new skills to you, it brings understanding about yourself and it helps develop that strength that allows you to keep going. When setbacks come, when challenges arise, that strength turns into resilience and you become a stronger person for it. And we all have times when we don't think that we can do it. We don't think we can achieve our goals. But the most important thing that I would say is yes, you will have times when you don't think that you can do it, but the most important thing is don't give up, because failure is not failure until you actually give up, says failure is not failure until you actually give up.

Speaker 1:

And it goes back to that quote from David Goggins where he says I don't look at failure as failure. I look at it as attempts. We'll go into that a little bit later in this podcast, but you'll inevitably well, I can't speak. You'll inevitably encounter obstacles in your life, but it's how you react to them that matters, which is why I'm a huge fan of stoicism. I've talked about that a little bit. I haven't necessarily explained what that means, but I actually heard a quote from his name is Gwinder Bogle, and he talked about stoicism and he said it so simply that I think you can grasp the basic concept of what it is through this. He says stoicism divides the world into two separate views what I can't control and what I can. So that's why I love it.

Speaker 1:

That's why I love stoicism, because it allows you to look at your life as hey, hey, what can I control in my life, what can I influence, and what are the things that I can't which I shouldn't worry about if I can't control them right? So it kind of eases up that brain space for you and allows you to focus on other things. But it's how you react that matters. So to the things that you can't control, are you going to let that bother you all day? If someone cuts you off in traffic, are you going to get pissed off and flip the dude off, or just realize, hey, whatever, who cares that guy might have? His wife might have been pregnant, she's having a kid. He had to get to the hospital real quick, that's fine, he can cut me off. How are you going to react to these different challenges that come your way, or setbacks or annoyances? I think that shows a lot about you, your character, who you are as a person and everything in between.

Speaker 1:

Now, believing in yourself is about digging deep and realigning your focus on what you really want in life. You need to discover how to believe in yourself and when you do that, that is truly when you start to see your potential and when you start to realize that all your goals are in your reach. Like I said, it sounds self-helpy, but it's the truth. It's the basic concept of any self-confidence. Is you need to have that initial belief in yourself.

Speaker 1:

Now, is it a magic cure? No, does believing in yourself make all your wildest dreams come true? No, it's not going to. You might want to be the best basketball player in the world and just hope it happens by all means, but if you're not taking action towards that step, then it's not going to happen. So self-belief that's where delusion comes in, if you're thinking that you're going to be the best basketball player without any action or without any evidence. But it does do. What it does do is that it helps you confront your doubts and it helps you overcome them, because where there is doubt, there's a struggle, and that's okay. That's part of life.

Speaker 1:

But when you believe in yourself, you know that you have the potential to climb any mountain and conquer any challenge by making steady progress over a prolonged period of time. And when I think about that last part of it is about the steady progress that you do over a prolonged period of time. So what's a good example of that in my life? I think training for the ultra is a pretty good example. I've been training for this race for about five months and the weeks have gotten longer in terms of mileage, like I've been putting on more miles on my legs every single week. And it's this steady progress over this five-month period that makes me confident in myself that next week I'm going to crush this race. I'm going to do my best because I've built the evidence that's there, and I'm sure you have goals that you might think are way far off in your future. Maybe it's you're trying to build your first house, which my wife and I are trying to do, but we're planning for that.

Speaker 1:

But whatever goals that you have for yourself, maybe you want a promotion at work, so are you just going to hope that it happens? No, you don't want to do that. If you believe that you deserve that promotion at work, what you need to do is prove it to the people that you work with. Prove to them that you're capable of doing more. That might be going above and beyond what's asked of you. It might be stepping in and taking on extra projects, but figure out what needs to be done in order to get you one step closer to that promotion. And I think the way that we look at ourselves shapes our perception of our capabilities. It really influences our approach to problem solving when issues come up and shows you that you have more opportunity than you think.

Speaker 1:

Because I think about the book a lot. The Obstacle is the Way by Ryan Holiday. His entire point of the book is that when challenges come up and issues arise in your life, you shouldn't get discouraged by that. Instead, you should look at that as success, because it means you're moving in the right direction. The obstacle is the way. That's the whole point of the book is that the obstacle is the way to the path that you want.

Speaker 1:

And I'm actually reading another book right now by Ryan Holiday, and he starts it off by talking about Hercules and how he was given two paths to choose. At one point One path there was this beautiful woman on the other side who was like hey, hercules, come on over here, you can have everything you want. I'm not going to do that voice. You can have everything you want and life will be easy to you. It'll be handed right to you and you won't have to work for anything, you just have it. And then the other path was kind of just a regular person and she was saying hey, if you come down here, it's going to take a lot longer to get to, you'll still be able to achieve your dreams, you'll still be able to have everything you want, but it's going to take a lot of time. It's going to take a lot of work, but I promise you, if you come down this road, you will be a lot more proud of the work that you've done, and it will mean more than just having it received to you, and I think about that a lot like not necessarily the hercules example, but the fact that important goals take time to accomplish.

Speaker 1:

And it's through that resilience, it's through staying disciplined, consistent, that those dreams become reality. And you have to believe that you deserve the dreams that you have for yourself. That's what Dr Phil was saying. You deserve the life that you want, and so your actions should reflect that. You should take time to really think about the things you're doing, and if they don't align with your goals, then you need to remove them from your life. There's this quote from Michael Jordan you must expect great things of yourself before you can do them.

Speaker 1:

Now think about Michael Jordan. He is arguably the best basketball player in NBA history. He's undefeated in the finals. He's unbelievably hardworking. People talk about how relentless he is in his game, how all he cared about was winning, and I'm sure there were times in his life where he doubted himself, when he was not sure if he was going to be able to pull through in the finals, where he was literally beat down by the detroit bad boys to the point to where he could have given up, like these guys were literally out there, the detroit bad boys were. They were out there to pretty much kill michael jordan, get him off the court. They didn't want him to play because they knew if jordan was, they'd probably get beaten because he was able to lead them and he was a freaking hard worker, and so they defaulted to getting super aggressive with him and trying to break him down, like I said, but he didn't give up and he expected great things of himself and because of that, he did them, and so the same principle applies to you.

Speaker 1:

Like, I think a good thing that we can learn from Michael Jordan is his visualization that he had. He was able to picture success, and I want you to imagine yourself doing the same thing. What could you be? Wow, what can you be succeeding at? Before you even begin, like, think about that and use it as a tool as you begin your journey towards your goals. Visualize your success, visualize what it's going to take to get there, and don't be surprised when challenges come up. Instead, start to critically think and problem solve and you'll get there. It's just a matter of time.

Speaker 1:

So what's a good way to understand where you're at with your self-belief, I think self-reflection, and what does that mean? Well, it could be a few things that you do, but what I would do is map out certain beliefs or levels of self-belief in certain areas of your life. So I would do your career when do you feel you're at there? Your personal health when do you feel you're at there? Your personal health when do you feel you're at? Your relationships when are you? And you can go on with other categories, but I think those are three pretty significant ones. I'd also probably add faith there, because faith in yourself, faith in God, kind of allows you to have that self-confidence, because you're believing in a greater plan. So break it down into different categories that you think are most important in your life and then rank yourself on them one to ten. Where am I with the self-belief that I have in my career and my personal health? Can I improve that? My relationships, my faith with God, whatever those look like for you?

Speaker 1:

But just sit down and do that exercise and I don't want you to write it in your phone, because oftentimes that's just an easy thing to do. Instead, I really want you to be intentional with this and I want you to sit down with a pen and paper and just write out where you're at with your self-belief and look at areas that you can focus on. And this constant practice of self-reflection, self-evaluation, that's going to get you one step closer to your goals in the end. And I think a weekly practice of this is a good call. I journal mostly every night and that's a helpful way for me to do it and you might feel the same, but it's a way for you to track where you're at.

Speaker 1:

So self-belief is crucial in any success that you are trying to achieve. And I want to talk about delusional confidence, because there's a lot of danger in delusional confidence. But what is that? Confidence and delusion, in my opinion, have a very thin line of difference. Let me try to tell you what I I really think of the two.

Speaker 1:

So confidence is when you know and believe in your heart that you can do something, even though you might have failed at it once or twice. And for me that's sales. I have failed so many times in sales. I have failed more times than I can count, but I've also seen a lot of success through it. But it's through those failures that I realized that gets me one step closer to my goal. And we have the saying that we say on our team that a no from someone gets you one step closer to a yes. So if someone tells you no, you're getting one step closer to someone telling you yes, and it's just through inputs and outputs. So I think that's an interesting thing to think about is like if you failed at it before, don't look at it as a failure. If you still believe that you can do something, don't let that hold you back Now.

Speaker 1:

Delusion, on the other hand, is just the exact opposite. You know in your heart that you are no good at something, but you don't want to believe that for yourself. So you are living in denial and you make no efforts at improving yourself while you still have the chance to. And some say that confidence without evidence is delusion. I think that applies here too. If you don't have that evidence that you're making small steps towards a certain goal, then you need to do one of two things. You need to either reevaluate where your current state is and maybe adjust your goals accordingly, or you need to find another goal to pursue, because otherwise you're wasting time, and the most valuable resource that we have on this earth is time. It's the only thing that we can't make more of. So think about that for a second. But I'm going to say it again Confidence without evidence is delusion. You're welcome.

Speaker 1:

I came up with that. I feel actually pretty proud about that one, but it's like it's. It's. I feel like it's true, though. Like if you don't have the evidence there, you're just telling yourself a lie and lying to yourself gets you nowhere. Don't do that. You know you've been taught not to lie to other people, so imagine what you're doing. If you're lying to yourself, you're living in a completely different reality.

Speaker 1:

If that's the case, uh, george Mack he is a I'm pretty sure he's just like a psychologist or something, but, um, he has this quote that I think is super profound. Not profound, but powerful. He says this there's a guy out there with half of your talent but 10 times your self-belief, making five times the money. That's the power of self-belief, because there is a phenomenon where less competent people overestimate their abilities while more competent people underestimate theirs. So I'm not saying you're underestimating yourself right now, but I can guarantee you you can think of people at work. You can think about people that you know that have things that you don't have but you want, and you say how did that person get it? Like, how is that dude in charge of me at work Right, like? I'm sure you can find examples to look at. But that's the power of self-belief is that these people who are less competent, they overestimate their abilities. And you might be out there, you might be super skillful, you might've been graduated from Harvard or Yale or whatever it's super prestigious background, whatever but for some reason you don't believe in yourself. And that could be from your past, it could be other things and I don't know.

Speaker 1:

But delusional self-confidence can lead to failures in many areas In leadership roles. It can lead to financial losses. It can even lead to like social isolation, like you might feel like you're trying to achieve something which you know could take you away from your friends. You might obsess about it, whatever that is. But there is a key component to this, to any success, where you need to be humble and you need to be open to feedback. Because only in those two ways, if you're not humble, you're not going to be willing to listen to the feedback and apply it to your life and get you one more step closer to your goal, and if you're not open to that feedback, that's not going to get you anywhere. So it's really important that you believe in yourself, but be humble about it. Like I'm not out there trying to say, hey, I'm running an ultra marathon next week, I'm going to become, I'm going to come first in place, I've worked so hard for this. Like I got this. No, like I know I'm going to struggle on that race, I know it's going to be difficult, but that's why I'm doing it.

Speaker 1:

And if you are struggling with self-confidence, my best advice to you would be to do something physically challenging. Start small. If you haven't worked out in a while but set a goal to run a mile or a 5K or 10K, I don't know where you're at, but this is where you have to be brutally honest with yourself. It's like if you haven't ran a mile in a couple years, maybe that's where you start. But the point of doing something difficult physically, in my opinion, helps build your confidence faster than anything else, because when you do something difficult like that, you realize that you're capable of doing more and you have to wake up. Do the next day, and okay, you're tired, but hey, you have to wake up. Do the next day and okay, you're tired, but hey, you have to get up and do the next day. Dang it Long day at work, got to deal with the kids Okay, wake up and do it the next day. Right, like it's a consistent process.

Speaker 1:

It is sometimes painstaking, like it takes a long time, long time to really feel progress sometimes, and that's okay, because doing difficult things and hard things refines you into the person that you need to be, and that's the whole point of why we run Team Tim. Allie was on here, man, like 20 podcast episodes ago, but she talked about the main reason why Team Tim is a thing, and so, if you haven't heard what Team Tim is, it's a race that we do every single year in honor of Allie's dad, tim Murphy, who passed away from cancer in 2020. And it started while he was alive. But Allie, her brother and a family friend decided to run a 10K in his honor and Tim was pumped because he knows how difficult it is to run. He knows that a lot of effort was going to have to go into it and that the people running the race were going to be uncomfortable the whole time, but he would always say you can do hard things and confidence comes from doing hard things.

Speaker 1:

And that little group of three people turned into a group of 55 people this past February, of people who don't consider themselves to be runners, or individuals who aren't necessarily the most fit, but they all dedicate themselves to running for this cause and at the end of it, every single one of them unless they're all lying to us they all say I can't wait for next year. Like, let me know when it's coming, I'll be there, I'm going to show up, I'm going to run team Tim. Why is that? Why do people do something difficult, like run a half marathon, literally pay like $150 to put yourself through pain Some people call it hell. Like why? And it's because confidence comes from doing difficult things, cause I guarantee you, most of those people who toe up to the racing line, they say man, I really hope I can do this, I'm going to do my best, but I really hope I can do this. And then, when they stay in the fight and they remain consistent and they get to the point to where they actually do it, their confidence builds and they're developing that evidence that I'm trying to tell you that you need to develop for yourself. So avoid trying to be delusional, and I think a good way to not be delusional is work on something that I call a badass list.

Speaker 1:

Now I want you to sit and think about the things that make you a badass. That could be anything Like. Whatever you constitute as you being a badass, write it down. I'll give you an example. Like for me, I ran a sub three marathon. I think that's pretty badass. Not a lot of people do that. Another thing is I know I'm a great husband. I treat my wife with respect, with love. We have so much fun together and I think that makes me a badass, because there's a lot of shitty husbands out there and there's just evidence out there that, like you know I'm, I'm proud of my actions and I think that you probably have some of those things in your head too of of you know achievements that you're proud of. Or you might be proud of your family. You might be a dad or a mom and be super proud of your kids. Write that down. You're a badass parent, but really be intentional with it, because the idea of the badass list is to start to give you evidence that you are an amazing individual, that you are someone that is unique and offer something different to the world that not a lot of people do, and that's kind of what the idea of the badass list is. I want to make a caveat there.

Speaker 1:

I didn't come up with the badass list. I listened to a podcast with Chris Williamson where he was talking about this guy. A podcast with Chris Williamson where he was talking about this guy. His entire idea was he was trying to help men gain confidence, and so he would bring these group of men into a room and say everyone, write down 50 things that makes you a badass. And then each of the men, one by one, would get up and share their list of 50 things and after every single item that was read off, the entire audience would cheer clap for him and by the end of it, the that was read off, the entire audience would cheer clap for him and by the end of it, the guy was always like these people just look like they won the Super Bowl, and so if you want to do it, you write down your badass list and you want to share with me? I'll be that person that cheers you on. I'll be freaking stoked. I'll say, hell yeah, that is you. Choked. I'll say, hell yeah, that is you. You are a badass. And keep going at it.

Speaker 1:

So that is a good way to avoid the danger of being delusional with your self-confidence is, if you have the evidence, if it's there, then capitalize on that. Use it to build you up not to bring you down and start to build on that list. What do you want to do in your life that you think will make you a badass? Is it running a race? Is it entering a powerlifting competition? Is it starting your own business? Is it becoming a chef? I don't know, but it should be a very personal list and you don't have to share it with anyone. If you don't know, but it should be a very personal list and you don't have to share it with anyone if you don't want to. This could be just for your eyes only.

Speaker 1:

The thing is is you need to be brutally honest, and if you're not honest with yourself, it goes back to what I was saying about lying to yourself. If you lie to yourself, you live in a reality that is not real, like you live in some other fictional place You're probably living in tattooing on Star Wars. So it needs to be grounded in evidence and data. That's why I love data. Half my job is looking at data and I freaking love it because data tells the truth. And so if you have that evidence, then boom, use it.

Speaker 1:

So how do you build healthy self-belief? Because I think that's a balance that we need to differentiate here between being delusional, being confident, being overly confident. How do you build that healthy self-belief? Well, I think there's two foundational strategies that you can start with, because you need to ground your self-belief in reality. So there's a couple of techniques. First one is grounded optimism. What is that? It's a balance of positivity with a realistic assessment of facts. So trying to maintain positivity when you have data in front of you, that's really what that means. But optimism will get you further than you think. You have to believe in yourself that you're capable for more, that you deserve more and that you can really dig deep and challenge yourself. And the only way to do that is to be optimistic. In my opinion, pessimists don't get very far in life, but overly optimistic people tend to also live in a delusion. So it needs to be grounded in facts Like what can you look at that can make you happy today?

Speaker 1:

For me, every day, when I wake up and I roll over and see my wife, it's the best feeling in the world, and that is grounded optimism. Because she's there every day and it's a gift that I'm so lucky that I get to experience every single day. Call me cheesy, I don't care, but that's grounded optimism is I have the facts that she's there and she makes me happy. So every day I wake up and start my day that way. So think about that too. Like what can you look at in your life that you have the evidence for? Maybe it's like looking at a sunset. That makes you happy, gets your mind off work, gets your mind off the difficult things in life. But ground your optimism in facts. But always maintain that optimistic mindset.

Speaker 1:

Now the next thing I want to be very careful with talking about, because I don't necessarily want you to think that this is a shot at your huge goals that you have for yourself. But you need to set achievable goals and that's why I was saying like if you haven't ran in a couple of years, then start by running a mile, because if you set a goal to run eight miles on a Saturday, I can almost guarantee you're not going to be able to do it, unless you have just crazy mindset. Your body's going to give out and you're going to feel really tired, you're going to give up, and then that's not going to be good on your self-confidence, but achieving goals that you can reach. It teaches you how to set goals and they need to be challenging, yet achievable but it prevents the setting of either too low or overly unrealistic and high goals. So this is where, again, you need to be brutally honest with yourself when are you at? What can you improve on? What areas do you want to get better at by X amount of time? These are all questions that you're going to have to ask yourself better at by X amount of time? These are all questions that you're going to have to ask yourself, and there's a few other things we'll talk about.

Speaker 1:

So the first another one is be open to feedback and have a growth mindset, because the role of continuous learning and openness to feedback is what will make you an exceptional human being. That's what a growth mindset is, but it is. A growth mindset, in my opinion, helps you foster a healthy self-belief by viewing challenges and failures as opportunities to grow. Like you knew that the journey was going to be difficult, you knew there was going to be challenges along the way, so when those challenges come your way, don't shy away from them. Instead, figure out what you can do to problem solve, get through them and use it as an opportunity to grow. Even if you fail at something, it's not a failure unless you give up. Remember that, and you need to be resilient. That's another strategy for you. What does that mean? It means, like I said, maintaining that problem-solving attitude towards setbacks and practicing mindfulness, even if you need to do some meditation or something.

Speaker 1:

But go on a walk, like when challenges occur, one of the Okay, let me take a step back here. When I have a setback happen in my life, one of my favorite things to do is just to go on a walk and I try not to think about anything. I just look around, I try and look at nature, but I try and get present, and another good way for me to do that's to read, or to read and to write. So getting present and grounding yourself in reality again is a good way for you to practice mindfulness, and it allows you to be a little bit more resilient, because the more you practice mindfulness, the more you realize that life isn't as serious as you think it is and these challenges will pass. You'll get through them. They might suck. There's no getting around that, but you'll get through them. There's no doubt in my mind.

Speaker 1:

And last thing I want to say on some of these like building a healthy self-belief in yourself is I would do two things. First and foremost, journal about your achievements. Talk about the progress you're making. You don't have to share this with anyone. This is just about you, your relationship to yourself and Dr Phil. He has this great quote in his book same book, we Got Issues but he says this about what it means to be your own best friend. He says look, the longest relationship you will have in life is with yourself. Be your own best friend.

Speaker 1:

And because we generate the results in a life that we believe we deserve, help yourself generate those results. Shout out to Dr Phil hey, dr Phil, if you ever want to be on this podcast, I'd love to have you on. You got some good things to talk about, but think about what he said there Like I'm going to bring it back because that's freaking amazing. There's so much power in self-belief. But the longest relationship you have in your life is with yourself. So you need to be your own best friend. You're not going to get along with your spouse all the time. You're not going to get along with your kids all the time, the people that you work with, but you can get along with yourself and you need to figure out how to do that. And I love this part where he says and because we generate the results in life that we believe we deserve, help yourself, generate those results. And that might mean sitting down, writing out your plan, figuring out what you need to do to take that leap and really reach for that goal.

Speaker 1:

How many times on this podcast have I said that I believe that we are all meant for greatness? God didn't create us on this earth to just be mediocre people. He created us because we are in his image. Right Like, if you want to get religious about it. God created us in his image and I don't think he'd create crappy people on purpose. So everyone should have confidence to move forward, and that's the point of this podcast today is I want you to start believing in yourself more than anyone else does and practice those tips to start building a healthy relationship with yourself.

Speaker 1:

If you don't have one, if you need to develop self-confidence again, I would really suggest that you find something difficult to pursue. It doesn't have to be physical, but I suggest it. But find something difficult to pursue and take steps to get there, because once you start compiling evidence, you'll realize you are capable of more and that you deserve more Because you do. You're an amazing person If you're listening and getting after it. Obviously you're focused on self-improvement. Obviously you're focusing on ways that you can be a better person in society. You can be a better person to your friends, family, improve your relationships, but the best way that you can improve your relationships with anyone is first start with yourself. Treat yourself how you would treat other people.

Speaker 1:

That's the way to success, in my opinion, is it comes from within and, like Michael Jordan said, you have to actually imagine yourself first before you do the thing. And so do that. Just picture your most unbelievable life that you can ever imagine for yourself and take that believe that you deserve it and then take steps to get there. Easier said than done, I understand that, and by no means am I perfect. This is something that I still have to work on for myself all the time, but that doesn't mean I'm going to stop, because progress only becomes a failure when you stop doing the thing. So do the thing, whatever the thing is and don't be afraid to reach. There's this quote I mentioned in the last podcast. But if you're not scared, you're not reaching.

Speaker 1:

And before I jump off this, I do want to shout out to Winston Churchill. I did a podcast on him last episode. But really the main thing that I love about Winston Churchill was his self-confidence in himself. So from age seven I'm pretty sure I read in his book he knew that he was going to be the prime minister of Great Britain. But for some reason he just felt that way and because of that he took the steps to get there. So he practiced government, he went into the military. Everything he did in his life reflected his vision for himself, and that's why I love his quote where he's literally fighting in a war and he says I'm so conceited. I do not think the gods would create so potent a being as myself to be killed in combat. This dude didn't think he could die in war because he thought he was going to be the prime minister of Great Britain. I would say that's a healthy balance between delusion and confidence.

Speaker 1:

But figure out what you're skillful in. So work on your badass list. Journal about your goals, journal about your achievements. Do self-evaluating practices on a regular basis, because that is only how you can improve. Once you understand that there's something you can work on, then your attention should focus on that, and I appreciate everyone for listening. This is a topic that's very important to me, so if it has helped you in any way, please send it to someone, please share it, leave a review. That also helps the show. But realize you're capable of more. If you don't believe in yourself, realize that I do. Humans are made for greatness and you're one of them. So until next time, everyone thanks for listening and keep getting after it.